


It Started With a Kiss

by BerenaBrokeMyHeart



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 98,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BerenaBrokeMyHeart/pseuds/BerenaBrokeMyHeart
Summary: Just a collection of one shot first kiss stories. Some canon-ish, some not so much. All 100% fluffy and happy.
Relationships: Serena Campbell & Bernie Wolfe, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 61
Kudos: 306





	1. Masquerade

Sian and Fleur had asked her to go to this bloody thing and now she couldn’t find either of them. Oh no wait, there they were canoodling in the corner. She sincerely hoped that the heat of her stare was burning a hole in the back of at least one of their occupied heads. This really was ridiculous, she didn’t know anyone here. Even if she did, she couldn’t tell because of all the masks. Well yes Serena that rather is the point of a masquerade ball she rolls her eyes at herself for thinking the bleeding obvious.

“You don’t look like you’re having much fun.”  
Serena huffed out an exasperated sigh, folding her arms over her chest she turned on her barstool to see who was bothering her now. She was sure she’d been giving off don’t fuck with me vibes and all she wanted was to be left alone until it was socially acceptable to leave. It had been a long week and she had expected to be spending the evening with her friends, not shooting evils at everyone who just wouldn’t leave her to propping up the bar and hugging her Shiraz.

“It would be a shame to waste such a gorgeous figure just slumped here at the bar.” This particular unwanted male was eying her up and down, his gaze fixed on her cleavage once he’d finished evaluating. “Let’s dance.” Before she had a chance to refuse, the boorish oaf had put his arm around her waist and yanked her off the stool. Lacing his sweaty fingers with hers, he began literally dragging her towards the dancefloor.

“I really would rather not.” Serena pulled back to stop them in their tracks. “I was perfectly content where I was thank you.” She begins to stride off in the direction they came from.

He was obviously having none of it as he caught her around the waist again, she could feel him pull her to him and press his weight fully against her back. “C’mon sweetheart. It’s a party. Let’s enjoy ourselves.” His hands begin to wander and Serena has had enough. Then all of a sudden he is extracted from her midriff with force.

“Hey, what the -" he turns on the person who had just ruined his chances, his speech a little slurred, gait unsteady as he sways slightly. He reeks of some brandy or other and he is sweating profusely. He comes face to face with a blonde woman who looks set to punch his lights out.

“The lady doesn’t want to be bothered by you.” She hisses into his ear, a warning to just walk away.

“S'ok honey. There’s enough of me for the both of you.” He is smirking and raises his eyebrows, wiggling them to convey his meaning. “Wait your turn.” He turns his attentions back to the brunette.

Serena was rooted to the spot. The blonde’s rescue attempt was fascinating, she was incredibly aroused by the show of strength. Her heart hammered in her ears so that she couldn’t hear the interaction between the two, but she was sure the other woman’s voice would sound just like warm honey. She snaps back to the present when she sees the man set his sights on her again, and squares up to deck the absolute sod.

In a flash the blonde has inserted herself into the gap between Serena and this jerk.

“I have an idea that might get rid of him.” She pulls Serena in so that she is whispering only to her. The tickle of her words on Serena’s skin makes the brunette swoon. She was right about her voice. “May I...?” She glances down at Serena’s lips and then back up to look into her eyes. She has the most beautiful eyes Serena has ever seen. Kind and soft and mesmerising.

Serena realizes that she is waiting for permission and having not gotten it she is pulling away, afraid that she has overstepped the mark. Serena feels her loss keenly as she nods almost imperceptibly and pulls the blonde back in. The blonde tilts her head up with a gentle finger under her chin and moves to press her lips softly to Serena’s.

It is the sweetest kiss Serena thinks she has ever had. The room spins and her skin feels like fire as the blonde kisses her tenderly. She doubts that the foolish git who was no doubt gawping at them right now would have kissed her like this. She felt like her soul was ablaze and she just wanted more. Yet all too soon it was over.

“I think he’s gone.” The other woman rests her forehead on Serena’s, flushed and breathless, her smile almost makes Serena’s heart stop. “Sorry about that. I just thought you might need rescuing.” She whispers again to the brunette.

Serena can only nod mutely at the blonde and watch dumbstruck as someone she must have come to the party with takes her away. Serena holds out her hand and steps towards the blonde, willing her brain to come up with something she could say to keep her here. Her eyes follow the path of the other woman, who keeps her gaze on Serena as she’s led away. Serena thinks she can see the same sadness in the blonde’s eyes as the distance starts to build between them. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part.

“Who on Earth was that?” Her friends break the eye contact between the two, as they want to know who the blonde stranger was that had clearly kissed Serena to within an inch of her life.

“I wish I knew.” Serena replies sadly. She had been too wrapped up in the kiss to even think to exchange names or anything more with her beautiful rescuer.

They don’t see each other again that night, and both resign themselves to the fact that even if they did after tonight, that they wouldn’t recognise the other anyway. Although, those eyes. Serena was sure she’d know them anywhere now...

****

Un-fucking-believable. Serena slammed her office door with such force that it could have come right off its hinges. Who does that infuriating woman think she is? She did not need a babysitter. Certainly not Berenice bloody Wolfe. Ever since she’d been assigned by Hanssen to AAU, she’d been under Serena’s feet. Now she finds out that he had sent a spy to keep tabs on her. Serena’s blood boiled. How dare they belittle her on her own ward! The laptop incident had been an oversight, but she would never jeopardize her patients. Now her suspension had ended over two weeks ago and Bernie was still acting like her shadow.

She glances at the total chaos that was Bernie’s half of their shared desks and that just made her even more livid. How could a grown woman who had served in the army be such a slob? Serena began throwing everything in the bin harder than was strictly necessary. Once she could see her side of the desk again, she spotted it... An army camouflage zip bag. She lifted it with anger coursing in her veins. Leaving her rubbish on my desk now too. She was poised to throw it away when she noticed the tag. It was for her. From Bernie. She turned it over in her hands, wondering if it might be booby-trapped or something. Placing it to her ear, she checked that it definitely wasn’t ticking. Now she was just being ridiculous. Opening it, she can’t help but smile at what she finds inside.

“Peace offering.” Bernie stood in the doorway awkwardly, hands stuffed in her pockets as usual looking altogether sheepish. “I thought your official first day back in surgery might be a bit more bearable if you knew that I had your back. I’m not here to take charge of your ward, Serena. I want us to work together.” Bernie shrugs and heads back out to the patients.

Serena feels her anger leave her as quickly as it had taken hold. She physically deflates as she considers her childish behaviour. Bernie was just trying to do her job, like they all were. And she was damn good at it, Serena had to concede. A fine surgeon and a fierce defender of patient care. Her awkward bedside manner was just so Bernie. She always seemed a little uncomfortable in her own skin, but she never let anyone but Serena see it. The brunette knew she was trying and she shouldn’t have lashed out at the blonde. She would be a perfect ally. Who knew, they could even be friends if Serena stopped being so stubborn.

“Bernie?” She calls the other surgeon over. Time for an olive branch. “Would you like to go to Albies for a drink after our shift? Maybe we could crack open the Shiraz before we go.” She indicates the zip bag in her hand.

“Well I never thought I’d see the day that Serena Campbell shared her Shiraz with anyone. I’d be honoured.” Bernie was teasing of course and Serena chuckled at the remark.

“Touché.” Serena arranges for them to meet back at the office before heading off to the nearby pub.

She is primed ready with two glasses of the wine Bernie had gifted her when the blonde enters their office at the end of the day. She holds out Bernie’s glass and takes in the blonde in her civvies. She cut quite the silhouette if Serena was honest with herself. Sinfully tight skinny jeans and a crisp white shirt with a pair of ankle boots. Very nice indeed.

There is a jolt when their hands brush as Serena passes over the wine glass that startles them both. Smiling in thanks, Bernie quickly busies herself with sipping her wine. Humming appreciatively at the red liquid, she doesn’t see Serena shiver at the sound. Doesn’t realise that an image of her making that noise in an entirely different setting has flashed through the brunette’s mind, and left her reeling at having such thoughts about her colleague.

“So...?” Bernie coughs and breaks the spell. Now she was watching Serena a little too closely, concerned that she had seemed miles away. The scrutiny makes the brunette blush furiously. It’s then that she really looks at the other woman. Specifically her eyes watching her. There was something warm and familiar about them that she hadn’t taken note of before. Why did she feel like she’d seen them watch her somewhere else? She shakes her head, just being foolish. Of course Bernie had looked at her before. They’d worked together for weeks, were always watching each other in theatre.

“So, I guess we should be off.” Serena polishes off the last few sips in one gulp. The walk over to Albies would clear her head. She gasps audibly when Bernie reaches for her coat on the stand, suddenly too close and somehow not close enough. She smelled wonderful and Serena relished the warmth of her body pressed all too briefly to her own. The chill she felt when blonde stepped back again, flinging her coat on, left Serena feeling bereft. What was happening to her? She should not be having these thoughts and feelings for her co-lead. Was Bernie aware of it? Did she feel it to? This needed to stop...

“Serena? Are you ok?” Bernie had seen a myriad of emotions wash over the other woman and she wasn’t sure what exactly was running through the brunette’s mind.

“Quite.” Serena stands taller, banishing the earlier stirrings. She spins to face the blonde, not expecting her to be that close again and Bernie has to grab her upper arms to steady her.

Bernie catches her eye, not sure that she really is ok. What she sees takes the breath from her lungs. How had she not realised who this woman was? Her eyes were scorched on Bernie’s memory from that night at the masquerade all those weeks ago, just before she’d begun working at Holby. Those lips. She knew them. Had kissed them. It had been a snap decision to help the woman at the party that night. She hadn’t intended to kiss her really. She’d thought of little else since. All this time, she had been right in front of her. Did Serena recognise her? If she did she was hiding it well. Maybe she had no idea who Bernie was. Maybe she knew and it hadn’t meant as much to her as it did Bernie.

“Ready to go?” Serena smiles and links elbows with the other woman.

“Serena there’s something –“ Bernie wanted to come clean.

“Alright boss. And boss.” Fletch cuts off whatever Bernie had been about to say. “Who’s buying the first round?”

Bernie felt her heart drop. Serena hadn’t invited just her for a drink. This was just another team drink after work. She felt like such an idiot. “I will.” Bernie extracts her arm from Serena’s and strides on ahead to Albies, leaving the brunette wondering what had caused her to run off like that.

Bernie is left even more disappointed when she sees the crowd that Serena had asked to join them for drinks. Sian, Fleur, almost everyone from AAU. She flushes with embarrassment that she had thought this was something it clearly wasn’t. She takes everyone’s orders and sulks at the bar waiting her turn to buy the round. Grabbing as many of the glasses as she could, she weaves her way back to the table trying not to spill anything, just catching the tail end of Serena’s conversation with Sian and Fleur.

“You’re not still wondering who your blonde hero was. You’ve been pining for a woman you don’t even know for weeks, ‘Rena.” Fleur nudges her and tries to get her to cheer up.

“I just keep thinking about that kiss.” Serena rests her chin on her palm and looks forlornly into the distance. “It was incredible.” She sighs and takes the glass Bernie has offered her.

Bernie’s heart beats faster at the brunette’s words. Serena had thought about her too. But she didn’t know that she was the woman in the mask. She needed to tell her. She couldn’t have her thinking that Bernie had known all this time, had chosen to say nothing.

“C’mon you. Let’s dance.” Sian pulls her friend to her feet and she and Fleur lead Serena out for a dance.

“I haven’t even touched my Shiraz.” Serena glances back at Bernie and the table, apologetic for leaving her in a crowd on her own. She knew she hated that. She silently wished she’d not mentioned it to the others, that she and Bernie could have had some time just the two of them.

“Well hello gorgeous.” A man Serena didn’t recognise danced up to her and she cast her face skyward in a plea for him to just bugger off. Her prayer went unanswered as he slipped his arms around her waist. Instantly she tried to pull away, but he wasn’t letting go.

“Excuse me?” A hand tapped the man quite forcibly on the shoulder. The woman was almost as tall as him and struck quite the imposing figure.

“Get lost blondie.” The man tried to shrug her off, but she stood firm.

“She doesn’t want to dance with you.” Serena looks thankfully at Bernie for her intervention.

“I'm sure she could tell me that herself. What are you? Her bodyguard?” He is the only one who laughs and pulls Serena closer.

“She's with me.” Bernie declares without thinking.

“Try again love.” He scoffs.

“Yes I am.” Serena glares at him.

Bernie manages to prise him off of the brunette and takes his place dancing with Serena. It was now or never.

“Sorry about that. I just thought you might need rescuing.” She whispers into Serena’s ear, willing her to remember.

Serena’s breath catches in her throat as she pulls back slightly to look at her. She sees it now. The strong jaw. The messy blonde hair. The thin and perfect lips. She draws the outline of the blonde’s face with one finger. Those eyes. Of course it was her. “It is you.” She beams as Bernie closes the gap and captures her lips in a heated kiss. Yes it most definitely was her. She’d know her kiss anywhere.

When they pull apart what could be hours later, they are both brimming with joy.

“How long have you known?” Serena asks the blonde.

“I only realised in the office just now. I take it you had no clue.” Bernie was over the moon.

“I should have. Those eyes. They should have given you away.” Serena can’t believe she hadn’t seen it. “And that kiss...” She surges back in for more.

“I’ve thought about you everyday since. Why hadn’t I asked your name or given you my phone number. I never thought I’d find you again.” Bernie holds her tight, can hardly believe she’s really here in her arms.

“I’ve thought about you too.” Serena admits.

“Yes, I heard.” Bernie nods towards Serena’s friends and looks decidedly smug. Serena laughs and buries her head in the blonde’s shoulder. “Now, how about we go for that drink somewhere on our own?”

Serena nods, gathering their things and letting the blonde link hands with her and lead them outside.


	2. House Guest

There were no two ways about it: Serena Campbell has a massive crush on one Bernie Wolfe. She has no idea when it started or how she ended up here. Ever since the stubborn, messy, brilliant Major had come to help out on AAU, she had burrowed her way into Serena’s affections. The easy banter, the synergy in theatre, the support and friendship. It had all come to mean so much to her, but she hadn’t thought of it as anything more. Until now. 

She knew that Bernie was attracted to women, and that any one of them would be lucky to have her, the blonde was quite the catch. Kind, strong, capable, very funny and strikingly good looking. Serena thinks all this as they sit in their usual spot in Albies, huddled together on their own, oblivious to anyone else there. They had been spending a lot of time together recently and Serena has to wonder why. The blonde was newly divorced and had come to accept her sexuality over the past few months. Why was she sitting here with Serena night after night instead of dating, what Serena proclaims would be hordes of women who would undoubtedly be interested? And she says as much to Bernie.

“You should start dating.” Serena holds up her wine glass and points at the blonde for emphasis, before taking a sip and humming appreciatively at her first taste of Shiraz. “I mean, look at you. They’ll be lining the streets.” She winks at Bernie and gets a furious blush in response.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m rubbish at that kind of thing. Any poor woman on a date would find me awfully boring.” Bernie takes a gulp of her own wine to save herself from having to say more. She found the idea of starting from scratch in the world of dating all a bit daunting. She was perhaps too long in the tooth for all that.

“Nonsense!” Serena says more loudly than intended, and then moves closer to offer a conspiratorial whisper. “We spend loads of time together and if there is one thing you are not, Berenice Grizelda Wolfe (Bernie sincerely wishes she’d never told the brunette her full name), it is boring. Look at us! We always have a lovely time, don’t we?”

Bernie has to admit that they do. Unfortunately, she knows now why that is. Ever since Cam had been admitted and pointed out Bernie’s feelings for the brunette, she had become startling aware of how attracted to her friend she was. Not aided by Serena’s tactile and flirty nature. But Bernie knew there was nothing more to it. She wouldn’t ruin their friendship just because she was being silly. Serena was straight. Straighter than straight. It would never be reciprocal and that was fine. Bernie just hoped her feelings would pass. Soon. Then they could just be the great friends that they were again and it wouldn’t be so complicated.

“I should be off.” Bernie drains her wineglass and sets it on the table in front of her. Maybe spending a little less time with the brunette would speed up the process.

“Oh, well wait for me.” Serena finishes her drink and stands so they can walk out together. One glass of Shiraz was a slow night for her, but maybe she could persuade Bernie to walk home with her, and they could continue their evening. They did have the whole weekend off by some miracle.

“I’ll just head outside and hail a taxi from the rink over the road.” Bernie hurries off on her quest. Serena thinks she might have some luck convincing the blonde to come in for a nightcap if they shared a taxi.

However, the blonde had other plans, as she signals to Serena to take the taxi and she’ll walk home.

“Well, I was hoping you might come back to mine.” Serena looks imploringly at her, pulling the edges of the blonde’s coat tighter around her. Bernie knows that’s the last thing she should do and politely declines. “Ok... then I guess I’ll see you on Monday.” Serena is more disappointed than she’d expected that Bernie won’t be joining her, but she leans in to peck her on the cheek and wrap her in a warm hug to say goodnight.

As she starts to pull back from the embrace, their cheeks brush and they end up with their faces very close together, their noses almost touching. The proximity startles them both a little, as their breaths begin to mingle in the cool night air. The way Serena is looking at her makes Bernie’s heart almost stop, and she’s sure it does when she sees the brunette’s gaze flick down to her lips.

Serena’s eyes find the blonde’s again momentarily, before flitting back to her mouth. If Bernie didn’t know any better, she’d swear Serena wanted to kiss her. But that was impossible. Then she sees the brunette move to close what little gap there even was, and she can’t believe she’s about to be kissed by Serena Campbell.

The cabbie tooting his horn impatiently breaks them apart with a jump. They stare at each other, more than a little breathless, both wondering what might have been about to happen. The spell was broken though, and Bernie steps back, ashamed at how easily she had come so close to wrecking the first proper friendship she’d had in a long time.

“Goodnight, Serena. Have a nice weekend.” Her tone is sad as she says it, but then she stuffs her hands into her coat pockets and strides away. The brisk walk home would hopefully clear her head. Her heart was another matter entirely.

“Goodnight, Bernie.” Serena says it so softly, she’s not even sure the blonde hears her as she rushes off. She is left with the weight of what had almost happened between them, admitting to herself that she had wanted to kiss her best friend. It was a revelation, but one she now sees had been there for quite a while. She relied on the blonde for so much, but she had never thought of it as anything more than friendship. The idea of kissing a woman was definitely a new one. The idea of kissing Bernie seemed right though. She wanted this. Wanted her. And from what had just almost happened, she was almost certain that Bernie was feeling it too. She just had to hope that the blonde wouldn’t shut her out and clam up, as she was so accustomed to doing where emotions were involved.

* * *

Try as she might, Serena never seems to find the right time, or the courage, to bring up their near-kiss. For her part, Bernie was acting like nothing had happened. She was a bit more tense than normal when the brunette touched her, as Serena was so used to doing with everyone.

“Bernie?” Serena tries to broach the subject one day in their shared office.

“Uh huh.” The blonde looks up from the chart she was scribbling in, to offer Serena a small, closed mouth smile.

“I... well I was wondering... if perhaps we could talk about –” The red phone cuts her off, as she is left to just watch the blonde spring into action. Serena huffs out a sigh, wondering if there would ever be a right time to try to tell Bernie how she was feeling.

When the blonde comes back from theatre a few hours later – pile up on the motorway, but they’d managed to save everyone – she remembers that Serena had wanted something before she’d had to rush off.

“You wanted to talk about....” Bernie searches her memory, but she doesn’t think Serena actually said what it was. “What had you wanted to say before? That we needed to talk. What about?” Bernie gives the brunette her full attention, with a look that makes Serena's stomach tie itself in knots.

Serena swallows thickly, now or never perhaps. “I just wanted to...” She moves from her desk to sit beside the blonde on the sofa in their office. “...well, it’s just that...the other night we...” Serena stumbles over her words and puffs out a sigh, frustrated that she can’t just come right out and say it.

Bernie watches the other woman struggle, sees various emotions flit over her face and starts to worry. “Serena? Are you ok? You look a bit flushed?” She feels the brunette’s forehead with the back of her hand, and notes that her pulse is racing, as she presses two fingertips to the inside of Serena’s wrist. Her medical training takes over, as she completely misses that the cause of Serena’s symptoms is the blonde herself. Her affliction is emotional, not physical. “I’m going to page CT...” Maybe Serena was having some kind of cardiac episode.

“No! Bernie. Wait.” Serena grabs her hand and tugs her back onto the sofa. “I’m fine. Well, no, that’s not exactly true...” She notes Bernie’s renewed concern. “I mean...Bernie, just listen for a moment. Okay?”

Bernie nods and feels herself relax as the brunette tucks a few stray wisps of blonde curls behind Bernie’s ear. Then her hand lingers, and her touch begins to have the opposite effect on Bernie, she almost feels like Serena’s hand is scorching her skin. It’s her turn to have a racing heartbeat. Unthinkingly, she moves her own hand to cover Serena’s and strokes her thumb across the brunette’s knuckles, before bringing their clasped hands down to her lap.

“Bernie... I need to... rather, I want to... ask you...” Serena’s eyes search Bernie’s, and she starts to think that if she wants this to happen that she will be the one to make the first move. She tugs gently on their joined hands to bring Bernie closer.

“Serena?” Bernie isn’t sure if what she thinks is happening is really happening, as she scans the brunette’s face. But Serena was definitely moving in to kiss her. Why on earth was she doing that?

She never gets an answer, because they are interrupted by Raf knocking on the door. They spring apart, eyes wide and both looking like they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t. But Serena is still looking at Bernie’s mouth, and her eyes hold a strange darkness that the blonde had never seen before.

“Come in!” Serena was furious that they been disturbed, when she was virtually certain that they would have kissed. Whoever it was at the door would pay dearly for this.

“Sorry, boss. And boss.” Raf acknowledges them both. “Mrs Lyons. Bed 3. Need a second opinion. I think it just might be your area of expertise, Ms Campbell.”

“Fine. Show me.” Serena reluctantly stands, holding out her hand, and snatches the chart as she goes to examine the patient in question, leaving Raf with the other surgeon.

“Ms Wolfe?” Raf notices the far-off look in the consultant’s gaze. She starts when he taps her on the shoulder. “Sorry.” He puts up his hands in mock surrender. “You ok, Bernie?”

“Yes. Yes. I’m great, thanks Raf. Why do you ask?” Bernie moves to go back to her own desk, pretending not to know precisely why Raf would think something was wrong. If she was not very much mistaken, Serena had been about to kiss her. Again. She couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. And she was sure it all showed on her face.

“You look a little...” Raf thinks better of finishing that thought when Bernie’s head snap up with a stern look. “Anyway...” he decides to change the subject, the Major probably knew any number of ways to hurt him, and he valued his life too much. “...I was wondering if you were going to join us tonight for a few rounds after shift? Albies? 8pm? Serena and a few others are coming.”

Bernie knows that she cannot spend any time near the brunette outside of work, especially if alcohol would be involved. She needed to work out what the hell was going on first.

“Sorry, Raf. I’m busy tonight.”

What neither of them know is that Serena has headed back to the office (Raf was right, she’d asked for Mrs Lyons to be moved to Darwin) and she had just heard, through the still open door, that Bernie has plans tonight. She knows she shouldn’t, but she waits out of sight to hear the rest of their conversation.

“Oh really?” Raf wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at the blonde.

“My personal life is none of your business, Mr Di Lucca.” Her tone tells him not to press further.

Serena feels the floor fall out of her world at Bernie’s words. Personal life... Bernie had a date. She must have. Tonight. She bites her bottom lip to hold back tears. Why would Bernie not have told her she was seeing someone? Why would she have let Serena almost kiss her? Twice! Humiliation and heartache force her legs to propel her anywhere but here. She finds herself practically running up the stairs towards the roof. Her thighs burn from the exertion, but she barely registers it as her brain chided her for being such a stupid, sentimental old fool. The rush of cool air as she flings open the door, does nothing to sooth the embarrassment flushing her cheeks. She realises in that instant, that this is not just the crush she thought it was. She’s in love with Bernie. But Bernie has someone else. A strangled sob escapes as she wonders how she had got this all so very wrong. Tears fall unbidden, as she clutches her chest, the pain in her heart unbearable.

“Who do I have to kill?” Bernie’s voice cuts like a knife through the sound of Serena sobbing, as she almost jumps out of her skin, spinning to face the blonde. She can’t even deny it because it is so obvious that she’s been crying.

“No one. It’s nothing.” Even Serena wasn’t convinced by her words, so it was unlikely to have fooled Bernie.

“Like hell it is.” Bernie stands with her arms across her chest, looking liking she genuinely might hurt someone, if she found out who had upset Serena this much.

“I’m fine.” Serena looks anything but.

“Come here.” Bernie is on her in a flash, wrapping her in the fiercest hug she can. “Please, Serena. Who hurt you? I’ll make them wish they’d never been born.” She squeezes the brunette to her, willing Serena’s pain to transfer to her. Anything to not have to see Serena hurting. “You are my very best friend, Serena. And I won’t have anyone hurt you and get away with it.”

Hearing Bernie call them ‘best friends’ sets Serena off again. She supposes that is all that they are after all. She shakes in Bernie’s embrace; each sob is like a dagger to the blonde’s heart.

“What will make you feel better?” Bernie pulls them apart slightly, brushing away Serena’s tears with the pads of her thumbs as she cups the brunette’s face. Her gaze travels to Serena’s mouth. She just wants to kiss all the pain away. 

“I...” Serena doesn’t notice that Bernie wants to kiss her, all she knows is she can’t say what she wants to. Bernie is dating someone else. Serena had even been the one to suggest it. “I should just go.” She breaks free of Bernie’s hold and moves back towards the door. “Enjoy your evening.” Serena’s tone is flat and embittered.

All Bernie can do is watch her leave, feeling helpless.

* * *

A few weeks after Bernie’s little revelation, the pair have fallen into an awkward place: they are technically still friends, but Serena tries her hardest to make sure they do not spend time alone together. Which makes what happens next even more incredible...

The blonde is sitting at her desk, with her head in her hands, when Serena comes into the office. She freezes when she sees the other woman already there, but it was too late to turn and go somewhere else, Bernie has seen her now. Then she notes the worry on the blonde’s face, were those tears in her eyes?

“Bernie, what’s wrong?” She feels her stomach drop, she hates seeing the other woman upset. Hurrying over, she crouches so they are eye level and places a supportive hand on the blonde’s shoulder. Her look is so soft and caring, it almost takes Bernie’s breath away, and she takes a few seconds to reply. She slides the papers in front of her over the desktop towards Serena so she can read them. It takes a moment of scanning the document for the brunette to know what she’s looking at.

“I’m being evicted.” Bernie practically sobs.

Serena pulls her up from her chair and wraps her arms tightly around her, running her fingers through the blonde’s hair and gently making soothing hush sounds. Both relish being in each other’s arms, even if the circumstances were hardly ideal.

“What happened?” Serena pulls back slightly when she feels the blonde start to calm a little, although the occasional sniffle still escapes and her eyes are still clouded with unshed tears.

“They found someone willing to buy.” Bernie shrugs, defeated. “I haven’t got my half of everything from the divorce yet, so I can’t even match the offer. Charlotte is still not 100% talking to me, Cam is still in his med school digs, and I have to be out by Friday.” Today was Wednesday.

“Surely they have to give you more notice –” Serena flicks through the lease, they couldn’t just throw Bernie out on the street, she wouldn’t stand for it.

“I signed it without reading the small print.” Bernie looks sheepish then. “It all needed to be arranged so quickly and I was just glad to find somewhere close to the kids and to work that was within my price range. They’re giving me my deposit and 2 month’s rent back for the all the inconvenience, but I have nowhere to go...” Bernie trails off as she struggles not to cry again.

Serena holds her to her once more, trying to think of a way to help. “There will be somewhere else, I’ll help you look, chip in with the rent or whatever you need, if it helps you get sorted more quickly.” She offers a tiny smile to the blonde, willing her to see it wasn’t the end of the world, even though it undoubtedly felt like it.

“I’ve tried all the estate agents. They don’t have anywhere available at such short notice, well nowhere that any human could actually live. I’ll have to book a hotel or something, but that could cost a fortune.”

“Come stay with me.” Serena hears herself say it, but she doesn’t feel like she has control of her voice. It just seems to slip out on its own.

“Oh no, Serena, I couldn’t impose...” Bernie tries to think of another solution. Any other solution.

“You won’t be. It’s a big house. Ellie's room is empty because she’s at uni now anyway. As long as I explain to Jason that you’ll be staying for a while, I don’t see it being an issue.” Serena wouldn’t stand by and see the blonde suffer and not help if she could. “We could go round after work and get your things packed into both of our cars.”

“You don’t mind?” Bernie asks as if she really isn’t sure that Serena won’t mind, and the brunette realises the extent to which she’s been keeping her friend at arm’s length. She couldn’t have there be any doubt in Bernie’s mind that Serena was here for her.

“Not one bit. I insist. Let me help you. After all, what are friends for?” Her smile isn’t as bright as it might be, because friends wasn’t really what she wanted from Bernie. But this wasn’t the time for that.

“I don’t really have much. It was furnished, so there are just my clothes and a couple of small bits and pieces.” Bernie starts to come round to the idea. “I’ll pay rent obviously.”

“You will not. Not a penny.” Serena is almost insulted by the idea. “You’re my guest, my friend. It will be nice to have some company. We’ll have no more of that talk.” She says it as if that’s final.

“I’ll pull my weight then. Chores and anything you need and I’ll give you money towards other things like food and utilities. And I’ll go as soon as I find somewhere.”

“You can stay as long as you like.”

Bernie thinks if that’s the case she might never leave. She also wonders how on earth she’ll survive living under the same roof as Serena. Seeing her in pyjamas, being in the same space when she’s sleeping or showering.... Her brain takes her down a rabbit hole of daydreams then, and only Serena clearing her throat snaps her out of it. She feels heat rise on her cheeks, hoping the brunette can’t tell what she’d just been thinking about.

“That’s settled then?” Serena asks, trying to ignore the sudden colour on the blonde’s face or the strange darkness in her eyes. However, she can’t help wondering what put it there and hoping it might have something to do with her. That thought makes her blush as well.

“Let me buy us dinner then. As a thank you.” Bernie kindly offers. “We can go out if you’d like or maybe get a takeaway if you prefer.”

“Jason is at Alan’s.” Serena panics a little when she realises that means that she and Bernie will be spending the night, the entire night, alone. In her home. “To be honest, I’m a little zonked. A takeaway would be lovely.” If they went out for dinner it would feel too much like a date in her mind and that was not a good idea.

“Deal.” Bernie agrees. “I really appreciate this, Serena. I can’t thank you enough.” She tugs the brunette toward her and embraces her. A lungful of Serena has her conjuring up other ways that she might find to thank her, and that makes her jump back like she’s been scalded by the brunette and scurry off somewhere. Serena is left to watch her go, wondering what just happened to make her run off.

* * *

All of Bernie’s things fit easily into their cars, and they only have to do a few back and forths from their boots to get everything in to Serena house. The brunette leads the way upstairs, to show her to her room. The instant she opens the door, however, they both know something is very wrong.

“Bloody hell, it’s freezing in here!” Serena hugs herself trying to adjust to the change in temperature. She goes over to the radiator to check it, but it’s stone cold. “The heating should be on.” In truth she knows very little about plumbing and the like. Maybe if they bled it? But neither of them knows how and the Allen key gets jammed and breaks off when they try it.

“Oh bugger.” Serena huffs and wonders what to do now. “I’ll see if I can ring a plumber.” The room was getting colder by the second. It was a big house and it was old, and they were well into winter so it could be too cold to sleep in...

The plumber can’t come until Monday. Of course, he can’t. Serena suggests that they get plenty of blankets etc. to try to find a way to keep the blonde warm. She couldn’t even put her in Jason’s room for the time being, because he would be livid that someone else had slept in his bed. The sofa wasn’t anywhere near comfortable enough, given Bernie’s bad back. She plays the Big Macho Army Medic, insisting that she’ll be fine with some extra blankets, but Serena isn’t so sure.

They settle on said sofa with their takeaway and some wine, and try not to think about bedtime. It's easier between them than it had been lately, as they enjoy the food and each other’s company, chatting and laughing as if the last few weeks didn’t matter.

“You really have pulled me out of a sticky situation, Serena. Thank you.” Bernie chinks her glass against the brunette’s.

“Don’t mention it.” Maybe it was the soft lighting, and the wine, and the company, but Serena was warm and content for the first time in quite a while. This was all very cosy and intimate, as she watches the blonde beside her and knows that she’s head over heels. Then she remembers that Bernie has been seeing someone else. She needs to shake this off, but she doesn’t even know where to begin. Compounded by the fact that Bernie was here.

The blonde notices the change in her friend, can practically see Serena turn in on herself, as she goes completely quiet.

“Serena, something has been bothering you this last while.” It’s a statement, not a question. “Can’t you talk to me? Please.”

Serena knows she can’t. Doesn’t even know where she would start. “I’m just tired.” She was tired. Tired of holding her feelings in. Tired of hiding them from Bernie. Tired of fighting against this pull towards the other woman. But Bernie didn’t want her. “Maybe I’ll just head up to bed.”

Bernie knows she’s being shut out, and it hurts. She watches Serena clear away their dishes and start to lock up the house, sad that the brunette wouldn’t tell her what was clearly bothering her.

“Goodnight, Serena.” She resigns herself to never knowing, and excuses herself to her room for the night.

* * *

Neither of them can sleep that night. Serena is just about to turn out her bedside light and try not to think any more about the woman in the next room, when she hears the floorboards creak in the landing and notices a shadow move on the underside of her door. It couldn’t be Jason...

“Serena?” Bernie whispers through the closed door, rapping it lightly with her knuckles and hoping she wouldn’t be waking her. She’d seen that her light was still on from out in the hallway.

For a spilt second Serena contemplates pretending to be asleep, but realising how pathetically immature that is, she rolls her eyes at herself and gets up to open the door. She is greeted by the single most adorable thing she’s ever seen: Bernie Wolfe swaddled in blankets looking at her with those big, brown doe eyes.

“I opened the window for a sneaky fag and now it’s stuck. I did try the sofa but my back protested too much. I don’t suppose you have any more blankets.”

Serena notices then that the blonde’s teeth are chattering and she is ice cold to the touch. She heads to Bernie’s room to see if she’ll have any luck with the window but it won’t budge. Bernie couldn’t sleep in here, it was unbearably cold. “Come on.” She takes Bernie by the hand (which was still like ice) and leads them to her room. “Get in.” She indicates her bed.

Bernie stares at her wide eyed and open mouthed. “I... oh... I... um...” She tries to shuffle backwards to the door, but gets caught in all the blankets like some sort of comfy straightjacket.

“It’s the quickest way to warm you up.” Serena explains.

Too bloody right it was, Bernie thought. Sleeping in the same bed as Serena Campbell would probably make her spontaneously combust!

Serena brokers no arguments and gets in to her side of the bed, pulling down the other side of the duvet and nodding towards the mattress, waiting for the blonde to get in.

“I... Ok...” Bernie knew it was futile to protest and the bed did look warm and inviting. So did the woman in the bed for that matter. She extricates herself from her blanket cocoon and this is the first glimpse Serena gets of her ‘pyjamas’ and the sight makes her brain short-circuit to be perfectly honest. All Bernie was wearing was a thin vest top and very short shorts. She swallows thickly and tries to brace herself for all of Bernie Wolfe. In her bed.

As Bernie slips under the duvet beside her and accidentally brushes up against her, the skin on skin makes both women jolt, and Serena practically throws herself out of the bed again.

“I can’t do this.” She is breathing harshly and starts to pace, leaving Bernie to just watch confused and concerned.

“Can’t do what? I can go back to the other room... Or maybe you don’t want me staying here after all...” Bernie isn’t sure what she’s done to cause Serena to be in such a state. “I’m sorry.” Although she doesn’t quite know what to be sorry for.

“Bernie, I... you see the thing is...” Serena flounders, searching the blonde’s face, and knows she has to tell her. She can’t keep torturing herself like this. “I know you said that you were dating someone, so this is all on me. I’m not expecting anything from you. I just... I have to tell you... I mean, I need you to know that... I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried, I really have... and I thought that if I just wasn’t around you anymore that it would go away. And I just... I’m in love with you.” Serena turns her head waiting for the inevitable rejection, a tear rolling down her cheek which she swipes at with her hand. “I just wanted you to know that.”

Bernie climbs out of the bed, and makes her way over to the brunette. Taking Serena’s hands in her own, she rests her head against the side of Serena’s and says softly into her ear, “I’m very glad to hear that, because I love you too, Serena. But what’s this about me dating someone? When did I say that? I’m not dating anyone. It tends not to go very well when you’re in love with someone else.”

Serena looks at her then, brow furrowed in shock and confusion. That wasn’t the response she was expecting, definitely the one she was hoping for, but not expecting. “You love me?” She says rather lamely. “But you were talking to Raf and you said you had plans, a personal life –”

“I'm not seeing anyone.” The blonde brings their joined hands to her lips and kisses Serena’s knuckles softly.

Serena searches the blonde’s eyes, her skin tingling from where Bernie’s mouth had just been on the back of her hand. She releases their hold to reach out, gently tracing Bernie’s features with her fingertips, before tickling the tip of her forefinger along Bernie’s bottom lip. She smiles as the blonde shivers at the touch, but she wasn’t cold anymore. “Oh Bernie...” Serena could burst with pure joy.

“Serena...” The blonde cards her fingers through the hair at the nape of the other woman’s neck, before wrapping her hand around the back of Serena’s head and pulling her in for a searing kiss.

Neither of them could say how long they remain like that, exploring and probing and learning what it is was to kiss each other, before they have to break apart for air. They lean their foreheads against each other’s, breathing hard and grinning widely.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been wanting to do that. Honestly, ever since that night at Albies.” Serena admits still short of breath. They both know which night she means, because neither of them had thought of much else since.

“Really?” Bernie replies, also breathless, she can’t believe her luck.

Serena nods vehemently and nudges the blonde towards the bed. Bernie’s knees give way as their backs meet the edge of the mattress. They fall backwards onto the covers, with the brunette pressing herself along the length of the blonde, and Serena fixes Bernie with a wicked grin.

“I have been wanting to do other things too.” Serena snakes her fingertip along the blonde’s ridiculous clavicles and offers her a wicked grin, her meaning obvious.

“Do tell.” Bernie challenges as she begins to undo the buttons of Serena’s pyjama top, kissing her revealed skin as she goes, and moaning at the promised curves of Serena’s ample breasts as the fabric parts slightly. This had better not be a dream, she thinks, as she is finally about to get what she’s longed for all these months.

“I think it’s better if I show you.” Serena smiles against Bernie’s lips before kissing them again. It might have taken them a while, and a couple of misunderstandings to get here, but Serena fully intends to make up for lost time now that they have.


	3. Otherwise Engaged

“I’m engaged.” Serena declares as she enters the office that morning. She shows Bernie the ring, but she doesn’t look altogether happy if the blonde was any judge.

“That’s good!” Bernie wraps her in a congratulatory hug. “I’m so pleased for you.” It’s not totally untrue, if Serena was happy, she was happy. But Serena is a little off as she smiles, not as brightly as Bernie had seen her do on many other occasions previously. 

“Let’s have a look then.” She holds out her hand to let Serena place hers over it and show off the ring. “It’s very pretty.” It wasn’t. Very gaudy. Not at all Serena. It wouldn’t have been what she would choose for the brunette. But then she wasn’t engaged to Serena. Robbie was.

Serena shrugs. It wasn’t the ring she would have liked, but it was ok.

“So, did he get down on one knee?” Bernie steps back and drops Serena’s hand.

“At our age, you must be kidding. He’d probably never have been able to get back up!” Serena laughs, but it sounds hollow.

“Ha! Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Bernie tries to smile, but isn’t sure how successful the attempt is.

“It was a bit underwhelming; truth be told.” Serena is a bit sad as she thinks back to what should have been such a special moment.

“Oh... well... it’s good news for you both at least.” Bernie indicates the ward, as she heads off to start rounds. “Congratulations.” She glances back at Serena as she grabs for the door handle and leaves.

Now that she’s told Bernie, Serena feels deflated. She sits at her desk and inspects the ring on her left hand. She was doing the right thing, wasn’t she? Serena had to admit to herself that she wasn’t entirely sure. Did she love Robbie? That one she couldn’t answer either. She suspected that perhaps she should know that she was in love with the person she was going to marry. He was... What was he? She couldn’t help but think that he had proposed because it was the next step in their relationship, but not that he’d actually wanted to. Wanted her. And his treatment of Jason had bordered on plain rude more than once. She slides the ring off her finger and places it in her top drawer. She couldn’t wear it on the ward, or in theatre anyway.

* * *

Bernie books them a table at a nice little Italian restaurant in town for that evening, and the promise of drinks afterwards to celebrate Serena’s impending nuptials.

“Here’s to you & the future Mr. Serena Campbell.” She teases as they clink wineglasses.

“McKinnie.” Serena corrects her. No way she’d continue using Edward’s surname now, she should have changed it years ago.

“Everything sounds great.” Bernie enthuses as she views the menu. “Where’s your ring?” Her forehead creases at the distinct lack of Serena’s engagement ring.

“Oh shoot. I put it in my desk drawer for safekeeping and must have forgotten to put it back on.” Serena sips on her Shiraz and looks anywhere but at the other woman. It wasn’t exactly ‘forgotten’ so much as ‘didn’t want to.’

“Serena?” Bernie waits for the brunette to look at her before continuing. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing... just...” She plays with the stem of her glass, swirling the burgundy liquid and trying to look like a woman who was happy to be engaged. “Do you think Robbie loves me?” She sounds small and unsure.

‘He’d be a fool not to.” Bernie covers Serena’s hand with her own and squeezes encouragingly. “Besides, he wouldn’t have proposed otherwise. The important question is do you love him?” She watches the brunette to gauge her reaction, upset to see sadness and uncertainty on her friend’s face.

“I don’t...” Serena trails off, trying to blink away the threat of tears.

They are forced to let go and move back in their seats as a waiter comes to take their orders.

Serena seems determined to not continue their conversation, as she talks about anything but how she feels about Robbie.

“He wants us to get married as soon as possible. I’m having a little shindig of sorts. A hen night, I guess you could call it. In a few weeks, at Albies. Nothing fancy.” Serena pushes her food around her plate with her fork. “You –”

“I’ll be there. Of course I will.” Bernie smiles over at the other woman. She wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Good.” Serena gives the blonde a genuine smile then, as they tuck into their meal, and chat and laugh as they always did.

Bernie walks a slightly tipsy and unsteady Serena home after their dinner, the brunette had had most of the bottle to herself and was a bit worse for wear.

“I deserve love. Don’t I, Bernie?” Serena leans against the blonde, her hand slipped inside Bernie’s coat. Her fingers move between two buttons of the blonde’s shirt, enjoying the warmth of Bernie’s skin underneath her hand.

“You are loved, Serena.” Bernie smiles at her friend, trying to ignore that the brunette practically had her hand on her bra.

“Am I?” Serena looks up through her eyelashes at the blonde, and Bernie wants to murder Robbie for not showing her how amazing she was. How could he be such a moron that he wouldn’t appreciate this wonderful, beautiful, generous woman?

“I...” Bernie knows she can’t tell Serena that she loves her, not when she’s engaged to someone else. “I’m sure Robbie adores you.” She says instead.

Serena buries her face in the blonde’s neck, the scent and hold of the other woman making her feel safe and very much loved. Bernie could swear she feels the brunette’s lips on her skin in the briefest of kisses.

“What if I don’t want him to? What if I want someone else to?” 

“You don’t mean that.” Bernie feels her pulse start to skyrocket at the possible implications of Serena’s confession.

“Don’t I?” Serena brings their faces level again, and runs her fingertips along Bernie’s jawline. The blonde was undeniably beautiful, but that thought doesn’t startle Serena as much as she thought it might.

Bernie steps back, knowing they were headed into very dangerous territory. Serena would not be acting this way if the events of the past few days hadn’t overwhelmed her a bit. She would not take advantage of her friend when she’d been drinking and feeling insecure either. The brunette misses the warmth provided by the other woman keenly, and tries to will her with the weight of her stare to close the gap again. Bernie was resolute. She would not give in to her feelings for Serena. Not like this.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow. You’re going to have one hell of a headache.” She tries to make light of the situation, but fails miserably. “Goodnight, Serena.” And then she’s gone.

Though neither would admit to it if pressed, they both lie awake thinking about the other for quite some time that night, before a fitful night’s sleep involves dreams of each other.

* * *

The night of Serena’s hen is upon them before they know it. They hadn’t seen much of each other since that night at the restaurant. Bernie had taken a few weeks leave because she had accrued so much of it, and as it was the run up to Christmas, she thought she’d get her shopping done early, instead of her customary mad dash on Christmas Eve. Serena and Robbie were due to have their wedding in the New Year. Vegas apparently. I didn’t seem very Serena, but Bernie was just glad it meant she wouldn’t have to attend.

She is one of the last to arrive and can’t help noticing the lack of ceremony in the whole thing. There weren’t even any banners or decorations, just the usual Christmassy stuff like a tree and lights and mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Bernie makes a point not to stand under any of that, thank you very much. She also notes with great surprise that Raf and Fletch and various other men from the hospital were there. Bit unconventional for a Hen party, but ok...

Shuffling out of her coat, and unwinding her scarf from around her neck, she scans the room for the woman of the hour. She finds Serena in the centre of everything, and the sight of her makes her stop dead in her tracks. Serena is wearing a gorgeous dress in her favourite shade of Shiraz. Bernie knows without a shadow of a doubt that she is the most beautiful woman she has ever laid eyes on. She thinks better of heading straight over to Serena. A quick detour to the bar for a glass of whisky was in order to steady her nerves.

“Hello stranger.” Serena sashays up to her, catching her off-guard and she just manages to not spit her whisky everywhere or choke on it.

“Serena. Hi.” Bernie is a bright shade of scarlet, trying not to look at Serena’s cleavage in that dress.

“Good time off?” Serena enquires nonchalantly. She had missed the blonde terribly, and not just because it doubled her workload.

“Um. Not bad.” Bernie gulps down the last mouthful of her drink. “Oh.... before I forget...” She takes Serena by the hand and leads them to where she’d left her coat. She finds it a little difficult to fish out the small, perfectly wrapped (obviously not by her) box from her pocket, as Serena seems to want to keep hold of her hand. “Merry Christmas, Serena.” She offers the box to the brunette, who looks down at it in the palm of her hand, before looking back up at the woman who just gave it to her.

She opens it with a gasp. It was the necklace that she’d admired when she and Bernie had been shopping for Jason’s birthday. But that was months ago. Bernie must have snuck back to the jewellers and kept it all this time...

“Bernie... I... it’s beautiful... this is too much... I can’t accept this...”

“You can. And you will.” Bernie takes it from the box, and puts it on Serena’s neck. “There. Beautiful.” Bernie wishes she was talking about the necklace.

“I... it’s gorgeous... thank you...” Serena kisses her on the cheek and hugs her close. “But I don’t have your present with me.”

“Don’t be silly. I wouldn’t expect you to start handing out gifts at your own Hen night.” Bernie reassures her.

“Oh no, Bernie... This isn’t –”

“BERNIE!! You're back!!” Morven looks delighted to see the trauma surgeon, perhaps aided by the open bar policy. She leads the blonde off to get some more drinks and mingle with their colleagues.

“Alright, boss?” Fletch raises his glass to the blonde with a cheeky smile.

“Not bad, Fletch. So how did you wrangle an invite to Serena’s Hen?” Bernie takes the proffered whisky from Morven with a nod of thanks.

“Hen?” Fletch looks genuinely perplexed. “This is the annual Serena Campbell staff Christmas party. Happens every year. True, it is normally at Serena’s house, but since she dumped Robbie the Bobby and this place was already booked, we changed venue, as it were.”

“What?” Bernie is sure her hearing must be playing up.

“Yeah, kicked him to the curb... How long ago was that again, Raf? Maybe two weeks.”

Bernie has a sudden ringing in her ears and feels decidedly wobbly, but not from the booze. “Excuse me gentlemen, Morven...” She doesn’t get far, as she bumps into the woman herself.

“Bernie, are you ok? You’re very pale.” Serena looks worried and grabs on to the blonde’s forearms, as she looks like she might keel over.

“I... you... you’re not engaged? This isn’t your Hen party?”

“Well, no. And if someone hadn’t ignored my calls, she might have known that. Didn’t you get my messages?”

“I... uh... dropped my mobile. Hadn’t got round to buying a new one yet. Waiting for the January sales, you know? So, you and Robbie... What happened?”

“I thought about it when you asked me, and I realised that I’m not in love with him.” Because I’m in love with you, she thinks but doesn’t say.

“Ohhhhhhhh ho ho ho, boss. And boss. You do realise where your standing?” Fletch points up at the mistletoe over their heads, with a wink. “It is tradition.” He, and everyone else it seems, waits to see what the pair of them will do. The entire hospital knew the two women were head over heels for each other. They just hadn’t quite figured it out yet.

“I’m game, if you are.” Serena throws down the gauntlet with a quirk of her eyebrow. She was brimming with excitement at the prospect of kissing the other woman and her stomach fills with butterflies, when she notices Bernie squaring up to accept the challenge.

“I could be persuaded.” Bernie steps toe-to-toe with the brunette. She cups Serena’s face to draw her in. She had only intended for it to be a quick peck, to satisfy prying eyes. Brushing her lips against Serena’s in the softest kiss, she pulls back expecting that to be the end of it. The brunette seemed to have other ideas...

Serena laces her fingers in Bernie’s curls, grabbing the back of her head and dragging her in again. She crushes their mouths together in a bruising kiss. It takes Bernie a moment to react to what is happening, her arms slowly wrapping around Serena, and returning the kiss with all that she feels for the other woman.

The sound of whooping and wolf whistling makes them break apart, breathless and their mouths tingling from the force of their kiss.

“Sorry.” Serena steps out of the embrace, eyes down and unsure.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.” Bernie’s own courage surprises her.

“In that case...” Serena tugs on the collar of the blonde’s shirt and kisses her again.

“I thought you said you didn’t have a present for me.” Bernie grins at her own cheesiness, as they rest their foreheads together.

Serena laughs and Bernie joins in, they both feel so much lighter and happier than they had in months.

“Take me home, soldier. And you might even get to unwrap another.” Serena whispers into Bernie’s ear and gives her another quick kiss, before going to gather their coats and things. Bernie is rooted to the spot; she might need someone to pinch her to make sure this was real. “On the double, Major!” Serena stands by the door, waiting for her to drag her home and ravish her, the look in her eyes says as much.

“Yes, ma’am.” Bernie salutes and the pair of them head out into the night, holding hands and fizzing with excitement.


	4. Bodyguard (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one got long, sorry about that. Hope you enjoy. There will be a Part Two 😉

“My body does not need guarding.” Serena knows, the second it leaves her mouth, that she hasn't phrased that quite right, but she's too livid to care. Anyone who considers giggling soon thinks better of it; her face is like thunder. “How could you all have gone behind my back and done the one thing I had expressly said I didn’t want?!”

“Serena, be reasonable.” Her agent eventually interjects on the uncomfortable silence. “We still have no idea who is sending these, and they have been getting more and more threatening. This person has been taking photos of you at home for God’s sake. We all thought it wise to make sure you would be safe.” He glances round the table in search of support.

“She’s the best there is. Former bodyguard to various important diplomats. Anyone who’s anyone, she’s guarded. She’s ex SAS, five times decorated and the majority of her fees go to charity.” Her assistant tries to back him up.

“Oh well, you didn’t mention I was being protected by a saint! That makes all the difference then...” Serena slams her hand on to the table top, making everyone jump.

A cleared throat somewhere behind them alerts them to the fact they’re no longer alone in the room. A tall, toned blonde in a three-piece suit nods and strides towards the group.

“Berenice Wolfe. Personal protection officer...” She does the rounds, shaking hands with each in turn as they introduce themselves “...and part-time saint, it seems.” She adds that little titbit as she proffers her hand to the woman she’ll be protecting for the foreseeable, a spark of defiance in her brown eyes. 

Serena uses the hand she’d just shook the blonde’s with to rub the back of her neck. She has the good grace to look mortified that her little outburst had been overheard by the woman herself.

“I have been going over the particulars.” The blonde indicates a cream folder tucked under her arm. “I think my best plan is to shadow yourself, Ms McKinnie. Everywhere you go, I go. It looks by all accounts as if this stalker has some way of capturing images of you from the grounds of your property. I shall be staying here.” She opens the folder, revealing a blueprint of Serena’s home floorplan and points to Serena’s pool house. That will give me a good vantage point of most of the east side of the property...” She sweeps her finger over the area she means. “... judging from these photos, they all seem to be taken from that side of the house. Questions?” She looks at the handful of people in front of her, all staring up at her wide eyed. “No? Good. Now, if you’ll come with me, Ms McKinnie. I believe you have a luncheon appointment at La Belle Maison with one Sian Kors and one Fleur Fanshawe.”

Serena just nods mutely, as she blanches at the other woman’s words. She has a stalker... Her hand flies up to her throat, the atmosphere inside the room suddenly stifling and airless.

“A moment...” Berenice guides Serena away from the table, to afford them some privacy and offer her some water to drink. She notes that the brunette can barely hold the glass because her hands are shaking so much. “Ms McKinnie, are you alright?” The blonde’s eyes now hold nothing but concern for her charge. “Look at me.” She grips the brunette’s upper arms lightly, to get her to meet her eye, giving her something other than fear to focus on. “I am very good at what I do. I’ve never let anyone in my care come to any harm. I’m not about to start now. I need your cooperation, but I will do all the worrying for both of us, ok? You are perfectly safe.”

Serena feels the blonde’s pep talk bolster her, she believed that the other woman meant every word.

“Oh, and I will actually be staying in the spare room right next to your bedroom. That way I’ll be as close as I can be if things should escalate. And the photos are being taken from the other side of the grounds. Just between us. I’ve got this.” She stands taller, buttoning her suit jacket back up. “Now...” She says louder so that the room can hear “...let’s get you to your lunch date, ma’am.” She walks towards the door. “I’ll take the very best care of her, ladies and gentlemen.” She promises and leads Serena out to the brunette’s waiting car. “You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten something.” The blonde places a reassuring hand on the small of Serena’s back and smiles, opening the car door to let her inside. Then she quickly runs round to the other side of the car and jumps in beside Serena.

“Thank you. For being so kind. Especially since I was such a bitch in there.” Serena tilts her head towards the building they’d just vacated.

“It’s quite alright, ma’am. I know it can’t be easy letting a stranger poke around in your life, and you’ve obviously had all this stress to add to the mix.” Berenice holds up the folder still in her hands.

“Serena.” She glances over to the woman beside her, who scrunches her face in confusion. “I mean, please call me Serena. I feel like my mother when someone calls me ‘ma’am.’”

“Serena.” The blonde concedes. “And most people call me Bernie.”

“How does one come to be in this line of work, Bernie?” She glances over to her companion.

“I... um... was in the army. Family tradition. Then I got injured. Not badly, but badly enough to be honourably discharged. I fell into this job, mostly because I have the skills to be bloody good at it, and the money helps with... well... it helps.” Bernie wasn’t looking at Serena, she was watching the world go by through the window. Always on high alert.

“Will you be joining us for lunch?” Serena asks as she pulls the door release handle to get out of the car. Bernie whizzes round to offer her hand, helping the brunette on to the pavement. “And they say chivalry is dead.” Serena grins at the blonde.

“I’ll be watching from another table.” Bernie confirms.

Serena laughs at that. “You’ve never been to La Belle Maison, I take it?” Bernie shakes her head. “It took us 3 months to get these reservations. I very much doubt there will be another table.”

“I have my ways.” Bernie taps the side of her nose with her pointer finger. Walking up to the front-of-house gentleman, she flashes him one of her business cards.

“Ah, Ms Wolfe. Yes, we have your table ready. If you’ll follow me please.”

“Ms McKinnie is here for her table also. Are the other ladies here yet?” Bernie tips the gentleman and pats his shoulder in thanks.

“Yes, your guests are waiting for you, Ms McKinnie. If you’ll both come this way please.”

“Thank you, Henri. You have been most helpful.” Bernie smiles, and holds out her arm in front of her, to allow Serena to go ahead of her.

“Ooh-ee, ‘Rena!!” Sian waves at her from the table in the corner. It is an enclosed booth, not the one she’d requested by the window.

As if reading her mind, the blonde whispers to her as they move towards the booth. “My doing, I’m afraid. Less chance of being photographed, and gives me a much better view to watch both you and the street outside.” Bernie leaves her to it and sits at the next table along. “Just pretend I’m not here.” She smiles at the three women and lets them get on with their lunch.

“Oh my! Now, who is that tall drink of water?” Fleur says a little too loudly, fanning herself with her menu.

“Shhhhh!" Serena puts her hand over her face, mortified.

“Hello there. Fleur Fanshawe.” She stands and offers her hand to the blonde. “But you can call me your next girlfriend.” Fleur bats her eyelashes coquettishly.

“Jesus, Fleur will you just sit down.” Serena wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. “We’re supposed to be drawing less attention, not more.”

Fleur pouts and goes back to take her seat. “Call me, you gorgeous thing.” She does a signal for phone with her thumb and pinkie finger, before winking at Bernie.

The blonde had taken a huge gulp of water, trying to cool herself down, as she was blushing madly at the assertiveness of the petite woman. She promptly spits it back out when Fleur insists she call her. Choking and sputtering, she rather ungracefully wipes at her chin and her clothes with a napkin. 

Defusing a bomb in under 20 seconds in a room full of civilians; that she could cope with. Being flirted with by a woman was another story. “Excuse me, ladies.” She says a bit hoarsely from all the choking. Swiping at the wet patch now on her front. “I’ll just go... uh...” She points to the restrooms, and makes sure to keep her gaze firmly off Fleur as she rushes off.

“Was that really necessary?” Serena could die of embarrassment.

“Have you seen her?” Fleur looks at the other brunette like she’s crazy. “I’m only human, Serena. Unless you have her earmarked –”

“No!” Serena looks skyward, trying to summon the strength to deal with her friend’s totally inappropriate behaviour. “She’s my bodyguard. Off limits.” Serena points an accusatory finger at her friend.

“She can guard my body any time she likes.” Fleur slowly sips her wine, looking towards the restrooms where the blonde had scuttled off to.

Bernie stands like some idiot under the hand dryer, trying to get her suit and shirt dry. “Very professional, Wolfe.” She puffs out a frustrated sigh at herself. “Excellent start.” She heads back out to the table, and that’s when she spots someone outside on the street with a camera pointed right at Serena.

She springs into action, charging towards the door and shouting back at the brunette and her friends to stay where they are. Once outside, she glances both ways and spots whoever it is running away. Taking off like a sprinter at the starting blocks, the blonde is soon hot on the heels of her target. Glancing over their shoulder to see how close Bernie is, the person doesn’t see the mother and pram step out from a side street, and they trip over and land with a ‘thump’ on the footpath, winding themselves in the process.

“Gotcha.” Bernie practically launches herself on top of the person, grabbing hold as the slippery sod tries to struggle free. Bernie can’t see who it is because they had a woolly hat and a huge scarf wrapped around their head and face. She has a fair grip on the camera, but the person kicks out when she tries to unmask them. It was just hard enough for the blonde to have to let go, and then the person starts to run again.

Bernie stands, barely even out of breath. “The hard way it is.” She pushes off and takes chase once more. Rounding the corner in the direction the assailant had gone, she scans the area and spots them before charging towards them. She manages to catch up and pulls the person back by the strap of the camera over their shoulder. Unfortunately for her, the strap has a front release, and she is left holding only the camera, as the person takes off again. She just about rounds on them in time to see them jump into a car with the windows blacked out, and be sped off by whoever was driving.

“Fuck!” Bernie could kick herself for letting them escape. She heads back to the restaurant at a fair pace, just in case they decide to circle back for Serena. Once she gets there, she shakes her head at the three women waiting to see the outcome. “I’m so sorry, Serena. Do you want the good news or the bad news?”

“Good, I guess.” Serena is filled with dread.

“I got this off them. And a licence plate number of the getaway car.” She holds up the camera. “Might tell us something.”

“And the bad news?” Serena really doesn’t want to know.

“I didn’t get a look at the person. And they weren’t driving. You have two stalkers. They’re working together.”

Serena feels her legs give out and the blonde reaches out to catch her.

“Easy... Serena? Are you ok?” Bernie’s eyes flash with concern.

“I... yes... I’m ok... I think.” Bernie doesn’t immediately let go, and Serena gets a hands-on example of just how strong and toned she is under that suit. Hardly the time for those kinds of thought Serena, she internally chastises herself. She swallows and steps out of the other woman’s arms.

“I think we should get you out of here. Just in case they come back.” Bernie was all business as usual, and Serena is a bit sad that she obviously hadn’t had a similar effect on the blonde. She was just being ridiculous now...

“Serena, do you trust your driver?” Bernie looks at her to gauge her reaction, before listening to her answer.

“George? He’s been my driver my whole life. Worked for my parents too.” Serena contemplates the idea that everyone she thought she knew could be responsible, and feels decidedly sick. “He’s old. Harmless.”

“Ok... but who else knew about your lunch today?” Bernie puts it to her.

“Well, everyone. I always give them all...” Serena trails off as she realises what she’s done. “...my weekly schedule.” Serena covers her face; she couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been.

“I need a list of names. Everyone who has this schedule. Excluding you lovely ladies. I vetted you already, and you were here the whole time, and just as shocked by this situation, judging from the look on your faces.”

“You big flirt. Call me ‘lovely’ again.” Fleur seems to bounce back quickly.

“I’m very flattered Ms Fanshawe, but I’m –”

“Taken. I knew it.” Fleur frowns, just her luck!

“No. I was going to say that I’m working. I don’t date clients. Or their friends. It was nice to meet you, but if you’ll excuse us. Serena...” Bernie signals that it’s time to leave.

“Will we be taking my car?” Serena looks frightened, who could she trust if she didn’t know who was doing this to her?

“I have a better idea. Call George and tell him to meet us here. I’ll arrange for a taxi to take us where we’re going. Don’t worry, we won’t be followed.”

“Alright.” Serena does as she’s asked.

“George, my good fellow...” Bernie leans into the open driver’s side window. “...how much do you make in a week?”

The older gentleman looks puzzled and glances over to his employer. “Ma’am?”

“It’s ok, George. You can tell her. It won’t go any further.” Serena puts his mind at ease.

He tells Bernie his salary.

“How about I give you enough for...” Bernie brings a chequebook and pen out of her pocket, clicking the pen top to get ready to write. “...3 weeks paid leave?” Bernie scribbles the details on the cheque, tearing it from the book and handing it over to George.

“Ms Serena?” George is stunned. “Won’t you need me to drive you in all that time?”

“She’ll be fine, George.” Bernie squeezes his shoulder kindly. She very much doubted the old man had anything to do with all this. It would simply make it easier to keep Serena’s movements on a need-to-know basis until the matter was resolved.

“Yes, George. You deserve a break. Go spend some time with Anna and those beautiful grandbabies of yours. I’ll see you when you come back.” Serena leans in and gives the old man a quick kiss on the cheek. She waves him off as he drives away. “You don’t really suspect him, surely? He's more like family than staff.” Serena asks the other woman.

“No, I just want your whereabouts to be more difficult to track. From this moment you send no one your schedule. Rearrange what can be, and give me the details of the things you really have to attend. Give me your mobile phone.” Bernie holds out her hand, waiting for the brunette to give it to her. She presses a few buttons and gives it back. “I’ve disabled the GPS. They won’t be able to use it to find you now. Take this one too.” Bernie gives her a second phone. “It’s not registered, so it’s untraceable. If you need me, all you have to do is press the 0 and the call button, and it will send me a signal. My number is pre-programmed in there too. Use either of those to reach me, any time night or day. Ah, our car is here.” Bernie steers her towards the taxi.

“The usual place please, Fred.” Bernie tips the driver and they set off.

“Where are we going?” Serena leans in and whispers to the blonde.

“You’re coming home with me.” Bernie flushes at the faux pas of her words.

Serena seems to suffer a similar effect as she goes bright red.

“I mean, we have to go to my place to pick up a few things.” Bernie won’t look at the brunette, her face still burning with shame.

“Oh boy, Ms Wolfe. Wait till I tell my wife who was in my cab today. The Serena McKinnie.” Fred smiles into the rear-view mirror.

“Fred...” Bernie exchanges a loaded glance with the driver.

“I know, Ms. I was just joking. Discretion is my middle name.”

“Good man.” Bernie nods her appreciation.

* * *

Serena isn’t sure where she thought someone like Bernie might live, but this certainly isn’t what she’d pictured. “Wow... this place is... beautiful.” She walks around from room to room, each one more stunning and surprising than the last.

“It belonged to my parents. I inherited it when they...” Bernie shrugs, it was obvious when one would inherit something. “I’ve renovated it myself over the years.”

“You did all this?!” Serena is stunned.

“Yep.” Bernie is moving around, putting everything she needs into a large holdall. Opening and shutting drawers, she meticulously packs the bag. “That charity ball. Friday evening. 9pm.” Bernie looks up from her packing. “Will it be black tie?”

Serena had only sent the schedule to the blonde a few moments ago, and she seemed to have memorised it already. “I... yes. It is.”

Bernie opens her wardrobe and fishes out something that’s inside a suit bag. “Have to look the part. Prepare for every eventuality.”

Serena can’t help but wonder what was in that suit bag.

“Those people at the meeting this morning. Tell me about them.” Bernie requests while going to her gun safe and taking out her weapon. She releases the magazine, catching it with the other hand, then she checks there is ammo in it and packs a few spares. She double checks to ensure that the safety in on, placing it in the holster underneath her suit jacket. She takes a smaller gun out, follows the same process and then places it in a holster wrapped around her calf near her ankle.

“You can’t think that any of them...” Serena watches the woman handle the weapons, half petrified, half impressed.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, but most of these kinds of cases are perpetrated by someone the victim knows.”

“I’m not a victim.” Serena places her hands on her hips, insulted by the suggestion.

“Fair enough. Poor choice of words. I apologise.” Bernie holds up her hands in a gesture of surrender. “I have permits for the guns, and never use them unless I really have to.” She adds, sensing the brunette’s uneasiness.

“Have you ever had to –” Serena doesn’t finish the question; she’d probably rather not know.

“Once.” Bernie levels her eyes on the brunette. “Right, I think we’re all set.” She chooses not to elaborate. “We’ll use my car from now on.” She easily lifts what must be an extremely heavy bag, and Serena is left to wonder again at the woman’s strength. That thing must almost weigh as much as her. Serena’s thoughts wander to the blonde being able to lift her... Not an unpleasant daydream as far as they go. She doesn’t notice the blonde stop in the doorway and knocks straight into her.

“Sorry.” Serena blushes, hoping one of Bernie’s many skills isn’t mindreading.

“Did you hear that?’” Bernie cocks her head towards the sound.

Truth be told, all Serena had heard was the blood rushing in her ears.

Bernie sets down her bag, signals to the brunette to keep quiet and stay put. Then she un-holsters her gun and silently seeks out the source of the noise. She begins tiptoeing downstairs, because she thinks the sound had come from the backdoor. Staying out of sight, she reaches her arm out to unlock and open the door. Once it’s open, she trains her weapon in front of her and heads outside. There is an envelope sitting on the step, but rather than reach down for it, she does a perimeter check first. 

“It’s ok, Serena! They’re gone.” She comes back inside holding the envelope by pinching it with a spare latex glove, just as the other woman comes into the kitchen following the sound of the blonde’s voice. The woman’s pockets must be like Mary Poppins’ bag, Serena thinks. Serena had brought the blonde’s bag with her; not entirely sure she hasn’t done her back in lifting the bloody thing. “Stay there, until I’m sure it’s safe to open.” She performs all manner of checks, and then slides it over the worktop to the brunette.

Serena scrunches her face in confusion.

“It has your name on it.” Bernie clarifies, nodding down at the envelope.

Serena recognises the stationery then, it’s the same as all the other letters she’s received. “Oh God. That means they know we’re here. Bernie, they know where you live! I’m so sorry, I’ve brought them to your door –” Serena looks like she might cry.

“It comes with the job. You don’t need to be sorry. I’m just glad I was here.” She doesn’t normally do this, but something about the brunette makes her move before she’s thought about it. The next thing Serena knows, she's bundled up in Bernie’s arms and then the tears start to flow. “Hey. It’s going to be ok. I will find out who’s doing this.”

“I’m scared. There’s nowhere they can’t get to me.” Serena says between sobs.

“Shhh shhh shhh, it’s fine. Serena, I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” She holds on tighter to the other woman, who is shaking in her arms. “Let’s get you home.” Bernie pulls away and offers the brunette a small smile, as Serena seems a good bit calmer.

“Is it safe to go home?” Serena sounds unsure.

“It is now.” Bernie holds out her hand for the other woman, offering her something steady to ground her. She tries not to think about how there was no way on earth she’d have done this with any other client. “Bring that.” She asks Serena to pick up the envelope. “I can easily exclude your fingerprints.” She explains. “We’ll open it together, once I have you home safe.”

They hold hands all the way to the car, and Serena is genuinely bereft when she has to let go, so that Bernie can load up the car.

* * * 

Bernie is nothing if not thorough, as she sweeps every room in Serena’s house to make sure it’s safe. Then she does the same with the pool house and the grounds. She closes all the blinds in the pool house and leaves a few lights on, arranging things to make it seem as if she is staying in it. Serena never leaves her, although she is always shielded by the blonde’s body in front of her. It’s hard not to be impressed by how good she clearly is at what she does.

“Let me make us something to eat.” Serena offers, once they've checked everywhere. It seemed like years since lunch, not that she’d gotten to eat most of it.

“No personal chef?” Bernie says teasingly, smiling at the brunette.

“No. My parents left me all this, true, but they wanted me to be independent, capable. They worked for every penny, and they taught me to be the same. For example, I can drive, but George has been with us forever. I pay him as much to keep him busy, as to actually drive me anywhere. He loves the job and his family wouldn’t be able to support themselves without his salary. Even when he does eventually retire, I’ll see them right.” Serena talks as she chops; suggests they have some leftover homemade quiche and a salad.

“Sounds great.” Bernie notices all of a sudden how hungry she was. She is also touched by the brunette’s kindness and generosity for her driver. “While we eat, you can tell me about...” She flicks out the photos of everyone who’d been at the meeting that morning one at a time.

“I will.” Serena nods solemnly, afraid to admit that the blonde was probably right: she knew the people who were doing this to her.

She plates everything up, and Bernie helps to carry everything in to the sitting room. Once they are settled on opposite ends of the couch, Serena pours herself a rather large glass of wine. “Don’t judge me. It’s been one hell of a day.” She tilts the bottle in Bernie’s direction, silently asking if she’d like some.

“Oh. No, no thank you. None for me. Not while I’m working. The orange juice is fine.” Bernie loads her fork and stuffs it into her mouth. “Aw, urgnnnn... ris is dericious.” She mumbles around the mouthful. “You made this?” When Serena nods, she gives her an approving lift of her glass. “I’m going to have to do extra laps of that pool of yours, otherwise I’m going to be severely out of shape if the food is this good.” She smiles and scoops up another forkful.

“Oh, I very much doubt that. You’re in excellent shape.” Serena gives her an appreciative once-over, raising her own glass to her lips and quirking an eyebrow at the other woman. “Ummmm... but you’re more than welcome to use the pool. And there’s a gym in the basement.” She rather enjoys the images conjured of a sweaty, panting Bernie Wolfe, clad in skin tight lycra perhaps.

“That would be great, thank you.” The blonde’s words startle her out of her thoughts. “I enjoyed that.” Bernie sets her empty plate and cutlery on the nearby coffee table, draining her glass, she lifts her dishes and relieves Serena of hers, then heads off to the kitchen to wash up. She isn’t gone very long, but Serena just knows that everything will be spick and span and in it’s rightful place if she cared to look. Bernie even tops up her glass as she passes.

“I could get used to this.” Serena says without thinking. “You’re the perfect house guest.” She tries to cover it, but doesn’t know if she’s succeeded. “So...?” She points to the photos, desperate to change the subject. “That one, is my literary agent. And ex-husband, Eddie Campbell.”

“Any ill-will from the divorce?” Bernie presses looking for motives.

“I should bloody hope not! He took up with his secretary 5 years ago. Even now I’m not sure the girl’s experienced puberty yet.” They both laugh at that.

“I’ll keep him in the maybe pile.” Bernie knows that spouses and ex-spouses are always top priority on suspect list.

“That one...” Serena indicates the next photo “...is my assistant Leah Faulkner. Been with me for about 18 months now. I don’t think it could be her, she’s the one who hired you.”

“You’d be surprised, the lengths some will go to in order to divert suspicion.” Bernie would look into this Leah regardless.

“And finally, we have Robbie Metcalf. Head of security. And doing an appalling job it would appear, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Probably going to fire him now.”

“And how would that go, do you think?”

“He’s all hot air and that’s mostly between his ears. It doesn’t strike me that he would have the backbone or the brains for something like this. Old school mate of Eddie’s. Never noticed until this moment, he looks just like a Maris Piper potato!” Serena dissolves into a fit of giggles then, made worse by the blonde’s own unusual laugh. “Oh, I am sorry. This is meant to be serious business. But I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.” She clutches on to the blonde’s shirt – when did she move that close? – still trying to catch her breath.

“Any disgruntled employees or ex-employees?” Bernie tries to steer them back to the matter at hand.

“Apart from these 3, there’s only ever been the gardener and a cleaning lady, who both come on separate days every few weeks.”

“Right, I think that’s enough to go on for now. I’ve had a look at the camera, they didn’t manage to take any photos before I chased them. It's a fairly standard make and model, so no joy figuring out who bought it or where. They wore gloves, so there won’t be any fingerprints besides mine. I’ll send it to an old bubby in the local police force just to be sure. Nothing from him on the licence plate either, I’m afraid. It’s registered to a shell company, no records of it ever existing. Which means I guess we can add business fraud to the list of offences...” Serena deflates as she realises that basically they have nothing. “I’m going to find the people responsible. They have to be held accountable. I won’t rest until they are.” That seems to settle the brunette, she was sure this woman really would do everything in her power to help her.

“Tell me about yourself, Bernie Wolfe.” Serena sits back on the couch, tucking her feet under her and cradling her wineglass, her complete attention on the other woman.

“What do you want to know?” Bernie seems suddenly shy.

Everything, Serena thinks but doesn’t say. The blonde was fascinating and gorgeous. “Why would you give so much of your fee to charity?”

“Haven’t you heard? I’m a saint.” Bernie raises both of her eyebrows in playful challenge.

“Ha. Guess I deserved that.” Serena puts her glass down at her feet. “If you don’t want to tell me...”

“It’s a promise I made to a friend. We worked together and he was killed in a roadside bomb. His daughter has cystic fibrosis. She needs a lung transplant or she’ll die. He was out there doing personal protection when he was hit, trying to earn some extra money to pay for the operation privately. I was on detail with him, but our vehicle was outside the blast radius. I did everything I could to try to save him...” Bernie swallows the emotion stuck in her throat at the memory. “So, you see, some of the money will help towards saving her, and some is her college fund. The rest goes to various foundations. There’s one that specialises in CF research, so that one day this might never happen to someone else’s child. I take what I can live on, and enough to cover expenses. I don’t need the rest.”

Serena watches the blonde tell her story, tears welling in her own eyes. “You are quite something, Bernie Wolfe.”

“Don’t you mean, Saint Bernie?” The blonde tries to lighten the mood. “I suppose we should open this now.” Bernie points to the envelope, containing the newest letter from whoever was stalking the brunette.

“I... yes... alright.” Serena opens the envelope, first pulling out more pictures of her. In the pool. Only this time there is a target on her head. And the letter isn’t a letter. It’s a warning. Apparently, her time is almost up. She drops the photos and the letter in shock, standing and going over to the fireplace. “I don’t want to see any more.”

Bernie comes up behind her, the brunette is trembling. Not too surprising. “Serena...” The brunette spins to face the other woman and lets Bernie wrap her arms around her. For the second time today. She wonders vaguely if she could just stay right here until all this was over. She can’t imagine there’s anywhere safer.

“Do you do this for all your clients? Serena lifts her head from Bernie’s chest to stare into her eyes.

“I don’t do this for any of my clients.” The blonde admits. For the first time in her whole career Bernie starts to worry that she might get too close to this client. Serena misses her instantly when she steps away sharply. “I think we should get some rest. It’s been a long day.” Objectivity was key if she was to do her job properly.

Serena yawns, as if on cue. “I’ll show you to your room. Although you already know the entire house, possibly better than I do.” She tries not to let show how much she had enjoyed being in Bernie’s arms just now.

“Lead the way.” Bernie lets her go upstairs first and does not watch the hypnotic sway of her walk. Well, maybe just a little bit.

“Bernie?” Serena pauses at the doorway to the spare room. “Would you mind staying with me tonight? I’m frightened. I don’t want to be on my own. Please.”

Bernie doubts there is anyone alive who could turn this woman down. “I’ll change in my room, bring some things with me. I can sleep on the floor.” She goes into her room, changing into the vest top and shorts she always slept in. She quickly brushes her teeth and gathers what she needs, before rapping on Serena's door to check that it’s ok to come in.

She has brought the mattress from her bed to lie on. Her old injury wouldn’t thank her in the morning otherwise. She settles herself while Serena brushes her teeth, and is already lying right next to the bed when Serena comes back out.

“I’m sorry I’m so much trouble.” Serena gets into the bed, lying near the edge, next to where Bernie was so that she could see the blonde.

“I’ve slept in worse places.”

“That might be a story for tomorrow.” Serena smiles and reaches out to switch off her bedside lamp. “Goodnight, Bernie.” She grabs the blonde’s hand and lets her arm dangle over the end of her mattress so she can hold on to Bernie.

“Goodnight, Serena.” Bernie keeps hold of Serena’s hand until she is sure the brunette is asleep, and then drifts off herself.


	5. Bodyguard (Part Two)

Serena wakes with a start the following morning. Her arm is still hanging off the side of the bed, but her hand is empty. As she opens her eyes further, she can see it’s because Bernie isn’t there. However, her makeshift bed is immaculately made. No surprises there. The brunette smiles, hoping that means she’ll be sleeping there again tonight. Then she slides off the bed, pulling on her dressing gown, and stepping into her slippers, she goes in search of the blonde.

She knocks on the spare room door, before she peeks in to find that Bernie isn’t there either. After that, she takes a quick shower, brushes her teeth and gets dressed in a pair of comfortable trousers and a v-neck jumper and shirt combo. She exchanges her slippers for sensible black shoes, and heads downstairs to find Bernie.

She doesn’t find the blonde anywhere on the ground floor either, but thinks she might know where she is. She takes a deep breath to try to prepare herself for what comes next, as she descends the stairs to the basement.

Just as she’d suspected, Bernie was doing some sort of workout. Wearing only a sports bra top and tight lycra shorts. The quick pace of her feet thumping on the treadmill, perfectly echoes the drumming of Serena’s heartbeat as she watches her. “My God, she’s fit.” Serena whispers to herself as she notes the taut, toned muscles, well, everywhere really. She takes particular delight in checking out the blonde’s shapely backside in those sinful shorts.

Somehow sensing she now had an audience; the blonde looks over her shoulder to see Serena watching her. She slows the pace of the treadmill to a slow walk for a few beats, before coming to a stop. Hopping off the machine, she wipes her face and arms with the towel she brought down with her, then loops it around her neck. “Serena. Hi.” She is breathless from her efforts and the huskiness of her voice does things to the brunette that it probably shouldn’t. “I hope you don’t mind....” She looks a little shy, like she’s not sure if she’s taken liberties.

Serena traces a single bead of sweat that the blonde had missed, as it makes its way down the blonde’s throat, on to her chest and then down between her breasts. Never in her life did she picture herself being jealous of a bead of sweat. She forces herself to look up to Bernie’s face. “No. Not at all.” Her voice sounds strained, as she fights an unexpected urge to fling herself at the other woman.

“I’m almost done. I was just going to do a few reps with the weights.” She points to the rack in the corner.

“Do you need a spotter?” Serena never came down here, it was her brother’s gym when he’d lived at home. She’d heard the expression on TV once, no idea what it meant, but she’d give her right arm to stay down here with Bernie.

“Those are for different weights.” Bernie heads off to pick up the weights she needs. “I fancy a swim after this, if you’d like to join me.”

“You’re inviting me to swim in my own pool?” Serena smiles as Bernie nods, blushing adorably.

* * *

Bernie has already been doing laps when Serena comes out to the pool area. Spotting the other woman, the blonde bobs along the surface of the water, and her gaze moves slowly from the brunette’s feet all the way up to her face. Serena is stunning fully clothed, but in the figure highlighting one-piece she looks divine. Then Serena lowers herself into the pool, oblivious to the blonde tracking her every move.

“You ever seen the film Dirty Dancing?” Bernie enquires.

Serena nods.

“You know the lift they do in the water...?” Bernie has a playful glint in her eye, she was obviously teasing. “I’ll do my best not to drop you.”

“Not a chance, Wolfe.” Serena warns. It’s not the first time she’d wondered if Bernie could lift her.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” 

Serena floats closer, pretending to be interested in trying the lift. Then she splashes the blonde at the last second with a giggle.

“How very dare you! I’ll get you back for that, McKinnie.”

Serena squeals with delight as Bernie splashes her right back. Bernie knows she shouldn’t be having this much fun on Serena’s dime, but the brunette is too much to resist. She’d never felt such a strong pull towards anyone before.

Serena watches the blonde assessing her next move, and she honestly can’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed herself this much, as they splash and laugh and dunk each other under the water.

As Serena breaks the surface again, she wraps her arms around Bernie’s neck, and the blonde holds her around the waist. They suddenly realise with a jolt that their bodies are flush together, and it feels good. Really good. Something reckless inside Serena tells her she wants to kiss Bernie. She can’t recall ever wanting to kiss anyone this much. As she leans in to do just that, she smiles at the fact that the blonde wasn’t pulling away. However, she never gets the kiss. 

A noise from somewhere off to the side catches Bernie’s attention, and she sees the silhouette of someone moving in the bushes at the edge of the grounds.

“Get inside. Lock everything behind you. Don’t open the door for anyone but me. If I mention the word ‘pizza’, it means I’m not alone. Don’t let me in, and call the police.” She instructs Serena, and pushes her up out of the water. She makes sure the brunette gets into the house, as she grabs her gun, which she'd hidden under her towel by the pool.

She keeps her weapon trained and ready, as she moves to where she’d seen movement. There are shoe impressions in the soil, and evidence that someone had broken the plants running away. She searches every inch of the gardens, but finds no one. She’d been too distracted by Serena to do her job. She is angry with herself for being so careless, as she heads back to the house. “Serena? I’m here. They’re gone.”

Serena lets her in. “You were going to stay out there with those maniacs, rather than let them near me.” She is shaking, mostly because she is still wearing just her swimsuit, and was still soaking wet. But also, because she couldn’t bear for Bernie to put herself at risk like that. For her.

“Here. You’re freezing.” Bernie wraps her towel around the brunette, rubbing her upper arms to try to get her warm. 

“Why would you do that?” Serena knows she shouldn’t be this angry and upset, but she is. “Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? ANSWER ME!!”

“It’s my job, Serena. This...” she indicates everything around them “...all this. It’s just a job.”

Her words cut Serena to the core. That’s all she was. A job. “Fine.” Serena decides in that moment to close her heart to the other woman. She heads upstairs to shower and put some clothes on, when Bernie tries to follow her. “Don’t. Just leave me alone, Bernie.”

* * *

They eat dinner in silence, stealing glances at each other when the other isn’t looking.

“That was amazing. Thank you.” Bernie tries to extend the olive branch.

“Have to keep your strength up, to do your job.” Serena bites out the last word, chucking the dishes in the sink with a clatter that makes the blonde shudder. “If you’ll excuse me. Your job is going into the lounge to watch TV.” Serena doesn’t even look at Bernie as she says it. As she moves into the other room, Bernie sees a laser pointer flicker and settle on Serena’s back.

“SERENA GET DOWN!!” She barrels towards the other woman, shoving them both to the ground. Bernie covers Serena with her body, shielding her from all the broken glass. She stays low, heading outside to chase down the shooter. She hears the screech of tyres and gets there in time to watch them drive away. Different car than at the restaurant, and only the driver inside this time. “Mother fucker.” She mumbles under her breath.

“They put a brick through my window.” Serena sits up trying not to cut herself on the glass.

“Serena. We have to get out of here. Now. That wasn’t a brick.” She points behind Serena to a spot on the wall she’s leaning against. That’s when Serena sees it. A bullet hole. “Go! Pack a bag. Only what you need.”

Serena doesn’t move, she’s frozen there staring at the hole. It had missed her by very little. If Bernie hadn’t... “You saved me.”

“Serena. We need to move. They might come back. Let’s go.” She extends her hand to help Serena up. “We can come back for anything else later.”

They pack at lightning speed, taking only essentials. Bernie keeps Serena behind her, and away from any more windows, until they can get to safety. When they get to Bernie’s car, there is another envelope waiting for them, under one of the windscreen wipers. “We'll take it with us. Best not to risk opening it out here in the open.”

“Are we going to your house?” Serena is pale and cold. Bernie knows she’s in danger of going into shock.

“They can find us there.” Bernie reminds her.

“I’m sorry –”

“No. Don’t say sorry. You never have to be sorry. They’re the ones doing this, Serena...” Bernie keeps stealing quick glances at Serena as she drives, to check she’s not hurt. “I’ve booked us a hotel. The one where the charity ball is being held, so we don’t have to be outside or move around as much. It will be more difficult to get to you there, until we can figure out who this is and how to stop them.”

Bernie parks her car underground, in the hotel’s secured car park. Carrying their bags to the lobby and checking them in, Bernie pays the reception clerk extra money to move them to a different room than the one on the booking, and to make sure no one is given either room number. Then Bernie walks Serena up to their room. “I hope you don’t mind; I’ll be staying in the room with you. We’ll order from room service or I will go get us food. You do not open this door for anyone but me. Same rules as before apply if I mention ‘pizza’, ok?” 

“Let’s get this over with.” Serena lifts the envelope they’d found on Bernie’s windscreen. She opens it quickly, like ripping off a plaster, and takes out the contents. She reads the note first as it’s top of the pile: ‘Having fun, are we? Tick tock, Serena.’ Moving on to the photos, she sees that they are of her and Bernie in the pool earlier that day. They look happy, carefree, just enjoying being with each other. There are others too of them leaning in, just about to kiss. 

The final one is capturing one of those moments where Serena is looking at the blonde as if she was the centre of the universe, as they splash and laugh. But Bernie’s face is scratched out, as if the person who shot it, had taken the sharp end of a pair of scissors and tried to eviscerate her from the picture. Then they’d used those same scissors to carve a rudimentary heart around Serena’s face.

Bernie can see that Serena is shaken up. Understandably so. “Hey, why don’t you change into your pyjamas? We need to get you warm.” Bernie changes into her own while she waits for Serena. Then they switch places so the blonde can brush her teeth.

Serena is under the covers when Bernie comes back. “You saved my life tonight. And now I’ve put yours in danger.” She says plainly as she watches the blonde start to make a bed for herself on the floor. Tears spill over her bottom lids and roll down her cheeks. “Hold me... Bernie... please...” 

The blonde doesn’t hesitate, slipping it beside Serena, she pulls her to her and lets her cry. She draws soothing circles on the brunette’s back with her fingertips, letting Serena lay on her chest, not caring that her tears are soaking her t-shirt. “You’re safe now. I’m here. They’ll have to go through me if they want to get to you. And you don’t need to worry about me getting hurt. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kind of do this for a living.” Serena huffs out a tiny laugh at that, as Bernie’s hand runs up the brunette’s back, then her fingers are carding through Serena’s hair, an action which seems to calm the brunette. 

They spend the whole night wrapped around one another, and given the circumstances, it’s a peaceful night’s sleep.

* * *

“Fred, I really wish you wouldn’t waste both our times by lying to me.” Bernie flashes an accusatory glare at the taxi driver, as they sit parked a few streets away from the hotel. She had left Serena to sleep, the brunette needed to rest. “You are the only other person who knew who was in your cab yesterday and where you took us to. So, let’s try this one more time. Who did you tell?”

“Ms Wolfe, I didn’t know that he didn’t know...” Fred blanches, he had put both ladies in danger.

“He? Who’s he? Are you sure it was a man?” Bernie presses for as much information as she can get.

“I don’t know, Ms Wolfe. We only spoke on the phone. They could have been using those little voice changing tricks you see in the movies... He said that he had to reach you urgently. That he knew all about you and how you were guarding Ms McKinnie. That I could be saving her life if I told him where I’d taken you.” Fred explains. “He even called my other phone, that only you call me on. I thought he was on the up and up. I swear, if I’d thought he would want to hurt either of you, I never would have...”

“I know, Fred.” Bernie did know he was a good man, who wouldn’t knowingly put anyone in harm’s way. “Here. This is your phone for my calls from now on. Don’t ever give anyone information again, or I will hunt you down myself.”

“I won’t.” Fred shakes his head vigorously.

Now all Bernie had to do was to figure out how they’d gotten Fred’s private line number in the first place...

* * *

Serena was excited. Tonight was the night of the charity ball, and she was finally going to see what was in that suit bag of Bernie’s. The blond was in the bathroom of their hotel room getting herself ready for the function. 

“Serena, could you pull the zip up the rest of the way please?” Bernie was grappling behind herself, trying to tug the zip to the top. She could hit a moving target from 100m away, but she couldn’t fasten her own dress.

Serena’s jaw goes slack, she’d pick it up off the floor later. For now, she was too busy checking out what Bernie was wearing. She doesn’t know why she’d thought the blonde would be wearing a suit. That in itself would have been sexy as all hell, but Bernie is actually wearing a dress. A beautiful dress, that makes her look breath-taking. It is a deep green colour, strapless, with a chiffon overlay. Tiny beads in a similar green cover the waist area. She is in gorgeous strappy, silver shoes, and her hair is swept off her face in a clip in the shape of a butterfly, also in silver. She is wearing just enough makeup and no jewellery, meaning that Serena can see so much of her skin that she feels lightheaded. Collarbones like that should be illegal, she thinks absentmindedly.

“Serena?” Bernie’s voice burst the bubble; she is staring at the brunette with furrowed brows.

“You look nice.” Serena wants to bite off her own tongue. Nice? Really? What are we? 5 years old? “I mean, you look beautiful, Bernie.” She steps over to her companion and pulls the zip the rest of the way for her.

“Thanks.” Bernie tries not to let her knees buckle when Serena’s hands come up to rest on her bare shoulders. She can feel the warmth radiating off the woman behind her. She balls her fists and closes her eyes in an effort to not turn and kiss her senseless.

Serena feels the blonde tense, and quickly moves her hands away. “My turn.” She grabs her dress and her makeup bag, heading into the now empty bathroom. Her head falls back against the closed door, as she leans there for a few moments trying to get her breathing under control.

Fluffing her hair in the mirror, and running a fingertip around the edges of her mouth, to make sure her lipstick is in place, Serena breathes deeply. With one final glance at her reflection, to appraise whether her appearance will be well received by the woman on the other side of the door, she unlocks it and pulls down the handle.

Her timing couldn’t have been worse (or better, depending on how she chose to look at it. And oh boy, is she choosing to look at it!) as she is greeted with the sight of Bernie securing her smaller gun. Her dress skirt was lifted up. Her gun is held in place with a lace garter. On her exposed thigh. Jesus... Serena knows that she shouldn’t be watching, staring with her mouth open more like, but she can’t tear her eyes off of Bernie’s thigh. And the garter. And Serena thinks her brain may be fried. A tiny noise must escape her, because Bernie looks up then. Quickly releasing her skirt, she straightens out her dress and takes in Serena’s attire.

The brunette is wearing a black halter neck dress, with sequins along the neckline. It is also mostly chiffon and fastens at the back of Serena’s neck. Given that Bernie can see the pale, soft and inviting expanse of skin on Serena’s back, it means that she knows the brunette can’t be wearing a bra. A soft moan slips out at that thought. She was not going to survive this night. Cause of death: Serena McKinnie’s cleavage, she’s sure the autopsy report will read.

“I know you’re working tonight...” Serena begins, something about the way Bernie is looking at her is making her feel desired, brave “...but I never did find a plus one for this thing. Will you have dinner with me? A girl has to eat.”

“I... yes... I’d like that.” Bernie grabs her clutch bag and hands Serena hers. “Shall we?” She opens the door to the corridor, doing a quick assessment of the area, before letting Serena step out. “You look absolutely stunning, Serena.” She guides the brunette into the lift, her hand on Serena’s back. The warmth of her touch makes Serena wish they could just go back to the room, and dispense with all the pretence that she isn’t incredibly drawn to the blonde. Her body is practically humming with desire. It would take very little to convince her to push Bernie up against the wall of the lift and find out what kissing her would be like.

* * *

Dinner is delicious. Not as delicious as the woman beside her, but Serena is enjoying Bernie’s company, and so what if she’s fantasising that they were on a real date?

“Bernie Wolfe, as I live and breathe!” A tall, slim brunette notices Bernie as she passes their table on the way to the bar.

“Alex.” Bernie stands to shake hands, but this Alex has other ideas. She pulls the blonde into an awkward hug, kissing her softly on the cheek. Serena bores holes in the back of the other brunette’s skull with her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Alex notices Serena then, with a bright smile.

“Working.” Bernie doesn’t say any more, making Serena feel sad that they weren’t really on a date.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Alex nods at Serena.

“Oh... um... Alex Dawson, this is Ser –”

“Serena McKinnie.” Alex finishes for her. “I know who you are. I’ve read all of your novels. Big fan. Any plans for a new one?” She shakes Serena’s hand enthusiastically.

“You are kind. I’ve been concentrating on my charitable causes. No writing plans at the moment. Although, don’t tell my agent I said that. He’s chopping at the bit for his commission.” Serena glances at Bernie with a ‘who is she?’ expression.

“Serena, this is Alex Dawson. We used to... date.” Bernie says the last word quietly, not really wanting the entire table to hear about her private life. Serena hears it though. So, Bernie was interested in women. Tall, slim, younger women... No hope for her then.

“I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted.” Serena glances back at the pair, who are chatting amiably and fights not to cry.

“Serena, I need a word.” Robbie makes her jump, coming up behind her at the bar unannounced.

“Christ, Robbie. You almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?”

“Security.” He says as if it’s obvious.

“Remembered that you work for me. How very good of you.” Serena drains her Shiraz and signals to the barman that she wants another. “What is it?”

“Can we talk in private? I think I’ve figured out who’s been sending all those letters.”

Serena highly doubted that, but she humours him and lets him lead her into a side room. “Well... go on then... surprise me with your infinite wisdom.” She folds her arms across her chest, waiting for him to speak.

But he doesn’t. What he does do is clamp his hand over her mouth to silence her, and push her against the wall behind them. She hits the wall with enough force to disorientate her and make her head throb with pain. 

She tries to call out, tries to shout Bernie’s name, but he’s a lot stronger than her. She claws at his hand, trying to get free so that she can scream for help.

“You’re such a tease.” His breath is hot and unpleasant against her ear. “I know you want this as much as I do. I’ve seen the way you look at me. You can’t help yourself. So, now I’m going to give you what you’ve been asking for.” His other hand moves down to her chest, roaming inside her dress. Serena shakes her head ‘no', and tries to fend him off. His hand is rough and sweaty and it hurts. He grunts in her ear, as his hand moves further down and rips at her dress, a hungry, unstoppable frenzy in his eyes.

“Serena? Are you alright in there?” Bernie had spotted the man lead the brunette into the room and close the door behind them. She hadn’t even bothered to excuse herself to Alex, her instincts telling her something was wrong.

Serena’s eyes go wide, as her muffled cries grow desperate, trying to alert Bernie to her plight.

“If you breathe a word, I’ll have her as well, when I’m finished with you.” Robbie threatens. “Do we understand each other?” Serena nods, tears streaking her face and fear coursing through her veins. “Play along.” He warns as he calls for the blonde to come in.

“Serena? What’s going on?” Bernie finds the pair in some sort of heated embrace. She’d clearly interrupted something. Jealously churns in her stomach.

“We just wanted a little privacy.” Robbie's tone drips with pure sleaze.

“Is that right, Serena? Is that what you want? You two are...” Her finger wags between them. “I see.” Bernie starts to step back outside.

Serena tries to implore the blonde with her eyes to see what was really happening. That’s when Bernie notices the tear up the front of Serena’s dress. That’s when she sees the redness around the brunette’s eyes.

“Get your hands off her, you piece of shit.” Bernie practically spits out the words. Robbie makes the mistake of taking a swing, a rather clumsy one at that. Bernie ducks it easily, landing a blow to the side of the man’s ribcage, as she stands back up to full height. The punch doubles Robbie over, letting Bernie interlock her hands into one big fist, with one hit to the space between his shoulder blades Robbie hits the floor. Hard. The blonde pulls out her gun, pointing in at the back of his head, and pressing the heel of her shoe into his back to make sure he stays down.

“You crazy bitch! I think you broke my ribs.” Robbie squeals as Bernie pushes her heel harder into his flesh.

“I sincerely hope so. If you ever so much as say Serena’s name again, think about her even, I will snap you in half.” Bernie keeps the business end of her weapon trained on him with one hand, as she uses the other hand to dial ‘999’ and report an attempted sexual assault. “I'll be sure to wave at you in court when I’m testifying against you for this, and you’d better pray they keep you in prison. Because if not, I will become your worst nightmare. Get up.” Bernie lets him stand, but keeps her gun on him until the police arrive. Then she goes to Serena. “Are you hurt? You’re bleeding.” Bernie wants to phone an ambulance, but Serena puts her hand over hers to stop her making the call.

“I’m fine.” Serena touches the back of her head with a wince, and her fingertips come away covered in blood. She also has a corker of a lump from where her head had struck the wall. “I think I just split the skin a little.”

Bernie gently inspects the wound. It’s mostly superficial, probably wouldn’t need stitches. “Come on. I can clean that up for you. We’ll ice that bump to ease the swelling.” Bernie scoops Serena up in her arms and carries her all the way to their room.

“I knew you could lift me.” Serena rests her face in the crook of Bernie’s neck, breathing her in.

* * *

Bernie can’t believe she hadn’t seen it sooner, as she looks at all the letters the stalkers had sent. The ones up until the day at her house had been about money. Trying to extort some of Serena’s fortune out of her no doubt. These new ones are more personal. This other person doesn’t want Serena’s money. They want Serena. And they most certainly don’t want anyone else to have her. Her phone rings and she whips it out of her inside suit jacket pocket. It was her friend from the police force.

“Yeah, Mack. What’s up?”

“Bern. I did some more digging. You’ll never guess who the owner of the shell company that the car is registered to is.”

“Tell me.”

“Edward Campbell.”

“Sonofa.... Bring him in. I’ll be right there. We need to find out who he’s working with.”

“He’s already been here. Gave up his buddy, Robert Metcalf. Sang like a canary. We’ve released him temporarily to see if he leads us to anyone else. I’m hoping it was just the two of them.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” Bernie supposes that fits: Eddie wants the money and from his performance at the ball a few weeks ago, it was obvious what Robbie had been after. “Serena, we’ve got them.”

Serena knows what she means instantly. “Who was it?”

“Eddie and Robbie.” Bernie gives her the short version. “I have an errand to run. But it’s over. You can go home soon.”

Serena knows she should be relieved, and she is, but after today she probably won’t ever see Bernie again.

“Wait here for me until I get back. I shouldn’t be more than an hour. Then I’ll drive you home.” Bernie tries to be happy that Serena was safe now. And of course she is glad, overjoyed, that the brunette was no longer in danger, but that meant the job was over. That meant no more Serena. “I’ll see you soon.” Bernie squeezes Serena’s hand with her own, and heads downstairs to her car.

* * *

“Hello, Eddie.” Bernie corners him at his apartment. She couldn’t believe the two men had managed to pull this off, truth be told. “A little birdie told me you’ve been brushing up on your stalking skills.” Bernie grabs him by the scruff of the neck and shoves him back inside.

“I was married to that bitch for 15 years; I was due more than she gave me. We were only going to send the letters for a few more days to scare her and then demand the money.”

Bernie’s temper flairs, how dare he speak about Serena that way.

“Scare her?!” Bernie pushes him down on to his sofa. “You almost put a bullet in her!”

“What?” All the colour drains from his face. “No.... no... Serena was never meant to get hurt. That was what we agreed. I never took a shot at her.”

“It was Robbie then?”

“No. I don’t know what you’re talking about. When was this?”

Bernie tells him the date.

“I wasn’t even in town that day, I had a meeting with a new author, it took most of the day.”

Bernie rifles through the files she’d brought with her. “So, you didn’t take this picture?” She places one of her and Serena in the pool in front of the man. He shakes his head. “Or this one?” Bernie throws down another. She has to admit he’s doing a good job of acting like he’s never seen them before. “What about this one?” She flicks the one of her face scratched out down. He shakes his head again, and Bernie is nearing the end of her tether. Maybe she should beat it out of him, she’d certainly enjoy trying. “It was Robbie then?”

“Robbie couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. That’s why we hired him; knew he’d be useless. He’s not in on this. The police jumped to their own conclusions. So eager to tie in all up with a bow, because saving a celebrity looks good in the papers.”

“I suppose you’re going to say you weren’t at my house the night before these were taken to drop off this either?” Bernie shows him the photos of Serena with a target over her face and the note warning her that her time was up.

“NO. I didn’t do this. I’ve never seen any of these before.” He was frantic now. “The ones about money and how Serena was gonna pay. That was all it was about.”

“Who are you working with? TELL ME!!” Bernie takes some pleasure from the panic on his face.

“She said we were going to split the money. She said we were only going to scare Serena into coughing up what we were owed.”

“She?” Bernie feels like the ground beneath her feet was suddenly made of quicksand.

* * *

“Leah. Come on in.” Serena greets her with a smile, which falls a little when she sees the young woman is alone. “I thought you said Bernie was coming with you. That I was to meet you both here at the house.”

“Yeah, she called me to say she was on her way.” Leah reassures her.

“Ok... do you want something to drink?” Serena opens the fridge to offer her some water or juice.

“No, I’m fine thanks. You must be glad that all this business is done, huh?”

Serena spins to find the girl a lot closer than she’d expected, making her jump. “Sorry, still a little nervy, you know? I was just going to make something to eat if you...” Serena stops as she notices the young woman’s locket. It was not Leah’s at all. It had been Serena’s mother’s before she’d left it to Serena. One of a kind, she’d recognise it anywhere. She would bet her last penny that it was no longer locked in her jewellery box upstairs, because it was somehow hanging on Leah’s neck. Serena tries to feign not having seen the locket, tries to school her features to not show the fear beginning to bubble inside her.

The house phone rings and they both turn to look at it.

“I’ll just get that.” Serena heads over to the phone. “Hello.” Serena prays to the Gods that it’s someone who can help her on the line.

“Serena. Get out of there. Or find somewhere to hide until I get to you, I’m almost there. Robbie wasn’t the one working with Eddie. Leah –”

The phone is ripped from her grasp and thrown to the floor, pieces of it flying everywhere.

“Let me guess. It was the blonde superhero.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m the one who lured you here, Serena. No one else knows where you are. Bernie must have figured it out. Or maybe she’s the only one looking for you.” Leah rather enjoys that thought, she has Serena here all alone, and she might even get her own back on that interfering bodyguard while she’s at it. “How could you do this to me? I would have given you everything, and this is how you repay me. By shacking up with the bodyguard that I hired.”

“SERENA!!” Bernie pummels the front door with the side of her fist. Please don’t let me be too late, she thinks.

Serena is stopped from calling out by Leah, who pulls a gun from nowhere and points it at the brunette.

“Not a sound or I’ll put a bullet between her eyes.” Leah threatens.

Bernie steps back from the door to give herself a push off point. Shoulder first, she throws herself at the wood, trying to break the door down. It gives a little, accompanied by the sound of splintering wood. One more run at it has the thing open, and she brings up her gun, ready in case Leah was already here. She notes with alarm the pieces of smashed up phone parts scattered across the floor. Leah was here alright. Something skirting along the edges of her vision makes her turn, but not fast enough, as Leah jumps out from the shadows and hits her on the head with something heavy. The last thing she remembers is Serena screaming her name before the world goes black.

* * *

“Wakey wakey.” The voice tries to pull Bernie up from the depths of unconsciousness. “Wake up!” Bernie feels a sharp pain in her jaw as Leah slaps her hard across the face, jolting her awake. “That’s better.” Leah looks pleased with herself. Bernie would soon wipe that smug expression off her face. 

Bernie tries to stand, but doesn’t get very far, brought back down with a sharp pull on her wrists. Her hands are bound with duct tape behind her. They were outside by the pool; she was tied to one of the metal hand railings used for stepping in and out of the water. She gives it a few more attempts, trying to struggle free.

“I’ve studied your career with great interest. You really did seem to be the best, the perfect cover, seeing as I was the one who chose you. A stroke of genius on my part, don’t you think? In the end, I’m almost sorry to say, you went down rather easily.”

“Cut off these binds, and I’ll not disappoint you twice.”

“Oooh, someone’s got fire in their belly, eh?”

“Where’s Serena? If you’ve hurt her, I swear I’ll –”

Leah tuts at the blonde. “You’re in no position to be making threats. And I would never hurt Serena. I love her.”

Bernie sneers at that, earning a rough pull of her hair, as Leah grabs a fistful and yanks as hard as she can.

“Come join us, Serena. Your knight in shining armour is here to rescue you.”

Bernie’s eyes dart up to the brunette. She wasn’t physically restrained, but she was terrified. Searching the ground around her, Bernie looks for something, anything, that might cut through the duct tape.

Serena sees the blonde crumbled on the ground, her head wound is bleeding and she was tied up. She rushes over and kneels beside the blonde. Gently assessing the wound, she pulls her hand away when Bernie winces in pain. Throwing her arms around Bernie’s neck she holds her close, rocking them back and forth.

“Get over here, Serena. NOW!” Leah snaps as she sees red, the bond obvious between the two women.

Before she stands up, Serena slips something in to the palm of Bernie’s hand, closing the blonde’s fingers around it. She gives the blonde a pointed look as she moves back over to Leah. She wishes she could have gotten something sharper, but it was the best she could do. She’d only had time to secretly lift what she could find, it had to be something she could conceal easily, as Leah struck Bernie and proceeded to tie her up. It was the biggest plastic piece of the broken phone she could see on the floor. She just prayed it would be big and sharp enough to cut Bernie loose.

“I remember the first time I saw you.” Leah moves her hand to cup the brunette’s face, but Serena flinches away from her touch. “One of your book signings. I knew I loved you the first moment I saw you in the flesh. I told myself that you felt it too, all those replies to my fan letters and the signed photos. Always signed ‘love’ Serena. I knew you knew who I was, but you couldn’t let on because we were in public. Then the assistant job came up and I knew it was your way of making it so that we could spend more time together.”

This girl was certifiable.

“You don’t love her. You paid someone to shoot her for God’s sake.” Bernie is surreptitiously using the plastic on her binds now. It was small and not particularly sharp, but if she had a little time, she might be able to free herself.

“It was only to wound you, Serena. That way I could be the one to nurse you back to health. To make you see that you loved me. To make you forget HER.” Leah points her gun at Bernie. “We were going to be together until SHE ruined it. All these months you never once looked at me the way you look at her.” Leah cocks the gun, ready to shoot her rival.

“No!” Serena reaches up, covering Leah’s hand on the gun, moving it back to the younger woman's side. Away from Bernie. “You’re right. I’ve been foolish and blind. I see now that everything you did was out of love.” Serena isn’t sure what Bernie’s plan is, but she knows the blonde will undoubtedly have one. She just needs to buy her some time. “Let me make it up to you. Let’s go inside, we can talk things through.” Leah thinks all her Christmases and birthdays have come at once, until she notices Bernie move to stand up, and slowly move her gun to point it at Leah, in the reflection on the water.

“LIAR!!” Leah pushes Serena off her feet, furious at the deceit. She turns her gun back to Bernie, making the older woman freeze and hold up her hands. “Get over there.” Leah pushes Bernie in the direction of the brunette, so that she can see both her and Serena at the same time. Her gun swaying between the two women.

Bernie helps Serena to her feet. “Are you hurt?” The brunette shakes her head.

“Put your gun on the ground.” Leah says it to Bernie, but keeps her gun on Serena to convince her to do as she’s told. “And your other gun.” Bernie tries to bluff that she doesn’t have one. Leah grabs Serena, placing the butt of the gun to the brunette’s temple. “Do it or I’ll kill her.” Bernie doesn’t think Leah would actually hurt Serena, but she wouldn’t take that chance. Serena is shaking and crying, pleading with Leah not to hurt her. Pleading with Bernie just to give Leah what she wants. “Very good, Ms Wolfe. Serena is mine. I won’t let you take her away from me, even if I have to kill you to stop you. Now, any last words before I do this?” Leah points the gun at Bernie, from this distant she can’t miss.

“Yeah. Serena? When this is over, you owe me a pizza.” She winks at the brunette, willing her to remember: run, lock the door, hide, call the police. Serena seems to understand what’s happening, as she nods imperceptibly at the blonde. She glances down to see Bernie showing 3 fingers hidden down by her side. Then two. Then one.

Then everything seems to happen all at once. Bernie throws herself at Leah, rugby tackling her into the pool. There is a crack like thunder as the gun goes off, thankfully Leah's aim is thrown way off by the blonde slamming into her. Once in the pool, they struggle for the gun, laden by the heaviness of their limbs in the water and their soaked clothing.

Serena knows she has to do something; she won’t just run and hide while Bernie could be drowned or shot. She frantically tries to think of something. Anything. Then she sees Bernie’s gun on the ground. That would do it. She picks the thing up, willing her hands to stop shaking. “Get away from her!” Leah turns to see Serena aiming at her.

“Oh please, Serena. Put it down before you hurt yourself. We both know you don’t know how to use that.” Leah smirks as Serena pulls the trigger and nothing happens. She tries a couple more times, desperate to make the stupid thing work.

“But I do.” Bernie brings Leah’s attention back to her, hitting her square in the face with the gun she’d reached on the pool floor. She points it at Leah, deeply satisfied by the blood gushing from her nose where Bernie had struck her, while Serena calls the police.

* * *

Bernie sits on the stretcher in the ambulance. They have her wrapped in a blanket and are making a fuss about her head.

“I’m fine. It’s fine.” She shrugs them off. All she wants to know is where Serena is, if she’s alright. The police had separated them for their initial questions, and she needed to know that Serena was safe and well.

Stepping down from the ambulance, her eyes scour the area looking for the brunette. When she spots her, she throws off the blanket, letting it drop to the ground. “Serena...” Her legs propel her forward, until she finds herself running. “Serena.”

The brunette hears her name, as she stands wrapped in her own blanket, dazed and shaken. “Bernie...” Serena breathes out the name as she runs to meet her. They cling to each other, as the events of the day, and the last few weeks start to sink in.

“Don’t you ever do anything that foolhardy again.” Serena pushes her away, furious that Bernie had taken such a risk. “If I’d lost you...” Serena’s voice trails off, it doesn’t bear thinking about.

“Serena, it’s my job.” Bernie words pierce the brunette’s heart. “I don’t -”

“Date clients. Yes, I remember.” Serena’s devastation is written all over her face. “Your job is over now. Goodbye, Bernie.”

* * *

“Hey, munchkin!” Bernie flings her arms out as she gets down on one knee to greet the little girl.

“Auntie Bernie!” She practically throws herself into her godmother’s arms.

“When did you get so big?” Bernie smushes the girl to her.

“I’m nearly 9.” The girl puts her hand on her hip, looking at the woman with a sass far beyond her age.

“Oh no, Mia! It’s not your birthday today?” Bernie knew it wasn’t until the following day, but she had to work.

When Mia shakes her head, Bernie brings the gift she’d been hiding behind her out. “That is a shame, because I brought this all this way for a birthday girl. Do you know any?”

“ME!” Mia screeches with excitement and puts her hand up, bouncing up and down with glee. “Thank you, Auntie Bernie.” She stands on her tiptoes, arms around the blonde’s neck and pecking her on the cheek. She dashes off to put her present with all the others and play with her baby brother.

“How’s she doing?” Bernie asks Mia’s mum once she’s out of earshot.

“The doctors say she’s coming along nicely. They are really pleased with how the transplant went. No signs of infection and her body doesn’t seem to be rejecting the lungs. It’s amazing to see her laugh and run and play like every other kid, she’s so full of energy. I only wish Tom was here to see her.” The mum covers Bernie’s hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Thank you for raising the money for her transplant, we couldn’t have done it without you, Bern.”

Bernie looks confused. “I raised as much as I could, Emily, but I hadn’t reached enough to pay for the operation. Not even close.”

“Where did the rest come from then?” It’s Emily’s turn to look puzzled.

Bernie listens to Emily’s side of the conversation with the hospital billing department, it was a mystery that needed solving, so Bernie could thank their good Samaritan. “Well?” Bernie hardly gives the other woman time to hang up.

“No joy. The person wished to remain anonymous. Secret benefactor, they said.”

“Secret, my arse.” Bernie knows she can get round that one, no problem. “I’ll find them.” She vows.

* * *

“How many more of these do I have to sign?” Serena says quietly out of the corner of her mouth. She was a little nervous about book signings now.

“Oh, I’d say maybe just one more copy should do it.” Sian eyes shine at the sight of the next person in line, her lips quirk into a tiny smile. Serena hasn’t seen who it is yet. “I think I’m just going to go be somewhere else, love.” She kisses Serena’s cheek. “I would say be good, but I really hope you won’t be.” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she swaggers off.

“Sian, where are you going?” Serena hisses at her friend’s back. “Maybe I should have just stuck with the stalker literary agent who was trying to fleece me. At least Eddie had done some work...” She laughs and shakes her head. Sliding the next book on the pile towards herself, she opens the cover, pen poised. “Who shall I make this out to?”

“Bernie.”

Serena’s head shoots up, at the sound of the last voice in the world she’d expected to hear. “Bernie, what are you doing here?

“How much does one make from a book like this?” Bernie seems interested.

“I’d hardly say that was any of your business.” Serena bristles at the other woman’s nosiness. “But if you must know, I get by.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard. In fact, I have it on good authority that you waived you six figure advance, and aren’t taking a penny from the book sales. That it all went to St Bartholomew's cardio-thoracic department. Specifically, to a little girl called Mia. She’s 9 years old, and she had a lung transplant 6 months ago. A transplant that saved her life.”

“Is that so? Huh. I’ll have to ask my accountant, see who authorised that.”

“You did. I checked.” Bernie fires back. “Why would you do that?” 

“It was the right thing to do.” Is all Serena says; it’s not untrue. But she also did it because she’s in love with Bernie, and she had heard first-hand how much the blonde cared for the little girl. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m done for today.”

“Serena...” Bernie grabs her by the upper arm to keep her from leaving.

The brunette looks at Bernie’s hand around her arm and glares at the blonde with a look that clearly says ‘get your hand off me.’ “You’ve got what you came for. It was me; I paid the remainder of the money for Mia’s operation. Now, if you don’t mind, I have dinner plans.” She tugs her arm free, gathers her things and starts looking for Sian.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Bernie could kick herself. She was too late.

“Who said it was a guy?” Serena doesn’t have plans, but she wants Bernie to perhaps feel some of the hurt she had. Childish, maybe, but here they are...

“You’re only half right.” Bernie stops her in her tracks. “That’s not all I came for.” She might as well play all her cards, and hope it pays off.

“What else is there?” Serena holds out her arms, her hands are palms upwards, as she shrugs.

“This.” Bernie steps into Serena’s personal space, so close it makes the brunette gasp. Cradling the side of Serena’s head with one hand, she presses her lips to the brunette’s, pulling back only a few millimetres, then she plants another soft, quick kiss to Serena’s mouth, before moving to step away.

Serena doesn’t let her, grabbing her upper arms, she brings Bernie back in, kissing her with abandon. All these months, she’d been wanting to do this, and now she is. That thought makes her moan into Bernie’s mouth, sinking even further into the kiss, if that was even possible.

“Serena...” Bernie’s voice is full of wonder. Like she can’t believe Serena’s really here, really kissing her right back.

“If this is the part where you tell me again that you don’t date clients...” Serena’s guard goes back up, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I don’t...” Bernie sees Serena’s face fall, and she can’t have that, so she kisses her again. When she pulls back, the brunette’s eyes silently pose the question. “But then again you’re not my client anymore, Serena.”

Serena thinks she might burst with pure joy, as she throws herself back into Bernie’s arms and kisses her with renewed vigour.


	6. I Dreamed Us Into Being

_Serena’s body is well and truly sated of its hunger for the blonde beside her. For now, at least. They exchange lazy kisses, and softly touch each other, not to initiate anything, but just because they can. Bernie had coaxed sounds from Serena she had never heard herself make before. She had caused sensations with her hands, her mouth, her body, that the brunette never knew existed. They had made love for so long; Serena isn’t even sure she knows what day it is._

  
_When the blonde had lain her down on the bed naked and placed her hands above her head on the pillow, telling her to keep them there, Serena had felt like she might come right then, just from the way Bernie was looking at her._  
_Nothing could have prepared her for what Bernie had in store for her. Her body had practically sung underneath the blonde’s. And when Bernie's fingers had worked their way into her for the first time, Serena had thought she might pass out from the pleasure. Then the blonde had put her weight behind her hand, pushing her hips back and forth. The movement causing her fingers to press inside of Serena, pushing her higher and higher._

  
_Serena had cried out at the loss when Bernie had removed her hand. That was until the blonde had decided instead to use her mouth to bring about Serena’s undoing. She had worked Serena up and up and up, until the brunette had shattered into a thousand pieces. Bernie’s name on her lips, her fingers threaded through blonde curls, Serena had never known release like it._

  
_For her part, Serena had learned quickly what Bernie liked, how she wanted to be touched. It was new, and it was incredible. She doubts she will ever tire of doing this with Bernie. Being the cause of her breath hitching, or those creases of pleasure around her eyes and mouth, or how she would plead with Serena not to stop. Serena would gladly spend the rest of her life finding new places and ways to touch or kiss her, if it meant that she could get those reactions and more._

  
_“You are so beautiful.” Bernie is above Serena now, straddling the brunette’s hips. Looking down at her as she strokes her fingertips down Serena’s cheek, she bends down to kiss her softly. “I love you.” She doesn’t take her eyes off Serena as she whispers it, their faces almost touching. Then Serena groans as the blonde’s hand seeks her out once more, barely able to believe she was desperate for her again already. “Oh God... Bernie!!”_

  
Serena wakes with a gasp, covered in a light swear and her hand is inside her pyjama bottoms. She is panting, and there is a throbbing between her legs that she’s not experienced since, well, the last time she’d had the dream. Or some variation thereof. She flops back on to her pillow, her hand covering her eyes, as her heart almost beats out of her chest. It was just another dream. A very vivid dream, but a dream none the less. About her co-lead and closest friend. Who just happened to be attracted to women. Who just happened to be a woman. But Serena had never considered herself to have Sapphic tendencies.

  
She’s too far gone to get back to sleep unless she does something about the situation in her underwear. So, she dips her fingers back inside her waistband to take care of the matter at hand. When she comes, gloriously it has to be said, she imagines dark eyes and a halo of curls between her thighs. As she calls out the name of a certain blonde trauma surgeon, she thinks it might just be time to re-evaluate her stance.

  
* * *

  
The dreams in and of themselves had been quite the awakening, but it wasn’t just the more steamy parts that have Serena in a flap. The part that stays with her this time is the way Bernie had looked at. The way she had said that she loved Serena, plays in the brunette’s head over and over. She can’t get it out of her mind that she might just be falling for her best friend.

  
“Ms Campbell?” Bernie is looking at her now, concerned that the brunette appears to have zoned out completely. Serena’s attention snaps back to the room, thankful that at least her blushes are hidden by the surgical mask. “If you could, clamp off the artery and we’ll try bypass again.”

  
“Right. Yes. Of course. Clamp please.” She holds out her gloved hand for the implement to be given to her by the theatre nurse. She needed to get her rampant thoughts under control, they were in the middle of surgery for God’s sake.

  
They manage to get through the procedure unscathed, and without having to amputate the leg. Serena rushes off to the scrub room once her part is done, flicking her gloves off with a frustrated snap. She takes off her mask and gown, throwing them into the bin, and removes her surgical cap. She leans with her hands on the edges of the sink, trying to get a grip on herself and cool down. She runs the cold water and lets the stream hit the insides of her wrists. She then cups her hands to throw some of the water over her face, mortified that she can’t seem to stop her mind from wandering to Bernie.

  
As if thinking about the blonde had made her materialise, Serena startles when Bernie rubs her hand on the brunette’s back in a soothing motion. “Serena, what’s wrong?” She’d never seen the brunette so out of sorts. “The op was a success; he’s going to be fine.”

  
“It isn’t that.” Serena admits without thinking.

  
“What then?” Bernie studies her in the mirror, nothing but care and affection for Serena on her face.

  
“It doesn’t matter.” Serena tries to smile at Bernie’s reflection, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

  
“It clearly does.” Bernie folds her arms and waits for an explanation.

  
“Please don’t ask me.” Serena blinks, trying to stave off tears. She has to go...

  
“Serena, hang on. Serena...” Bernie wants to go after her, but the nurse needs her signature on a chart.

  
* * *

  
“Albies?” Bernie asks when Serena finally makes an appearance in their office at the end of shift. She isn’t sure where she’s been hiding all day, but she definitely has been. “I’m buying the first round.” Bernie puts her coat on with a smile and waits for the brunette.

  
“Maybe another night.” Serena couldn’t do this. Just the two of them at a table on their own, which is what normally happens if they head to Albies. Alcohol plus unresolved feelings would not be a good mix.

  
“Serena...” Bernie plonks herself down on the sofa. “...what’s going on? You never turn down free Shiraz.” Bernie tries to lighten the mood.

  
“I just.... I don’t feel like it this evening. Headache. I just want to go home.” Serena tries to put the blonde off.

  
“How about I drive you home if you’re not feeling well? We could grab a takeaway and –”

  
“Bernie, we don’t need to spend every moment together.” Serena puts her coat over her arm, picks up her bag and legs in out of the office. The slamming of the door behind her makes the blonde jump. Serena can’t believe she’s just done that. Not when Bernie has been nothing but kind and supportive to her all these months. Shame burns in her gut, and the tears flow freely once she gets in to her car.

  
* * *

  
Bernie won’t stop looking at her like a kicked puppy, but she doesn’t say anything to Serena after that night in the office. She can’t work out what she’s done wrong, but it must be her fault. Maybe they had been spending too much time together, and Serena was feeling suffocated. Their timings are all off in theatre too, like they’re both dancing to different music now.

  
“Alright, Major?” Fletch brings her the scan results she’d requested. “You coming for a knees-up in Albies later?”

  
“Not tonight, Fletch.” She flicks the images across the screen one by one to assess what she’s looking at. “Looks like a pseudo-aneurism of the splenic artery. Prep for theatre please, Nurse Fletcher.” Bernie hands back the iPad and stands to follow him out.

  
“Oh, is tonight the big date then?” Fletcher grins at the blonde as he holds the door open for her. Neither notice Serena’s head shoot up at that. _What was all this about Bernie going on a date?_

  
“Hm.” Is all Bernie says. No need to send the rumour mill into overdrive. She doesn’t quite know why she’d told him in the first place. Probably because ordinarily, she would have told Serena. But since things had been so frosty between them, she thought it best just to give the brunette some space.

  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone?” Serena’s jealousy gets the better of her when the blonde comes back from surgery.

  
“It's early days and you didn’t ask. In fact, you’ve hardly spoken to me in weeks.” Bernie’s hurt is obvious, and Serena at least has the humility to look deeply ashamed of her actions. “Besides, now we won’t need to spend every moment together. Problem solved.” Serena’s own words thrown back at her stings, but it’s no less than she deserves.

  
“Bernie, I...” Serena starts to apologise, but the blonde is already leaving.

  
* * *

  
“Can I help you?” Serena looks up to see a woman she does not recognise at her office door. She’s a little younger than her, green eyes, red hair, looks lost...

  
“Oh... yes... I’m sorry... maybe I’m in the wrong place... Bernie said to meet her here. We’re having dinner tonight.” She stretches out her hand to Serena. “I’m Claire. Is this Bernie’s office?”

  
“Yes.” Serena shakes her hand, but doesn’t say anything more.

  
“Is it ok if I wait for her?” The other woman points to the sofa.

  
“Would it stop you if I said ‘no'?” Serena tries to be civil, but jealousy gets the better of her. Maybe it would be better if this Claire waited on her own. “Perhaps I’ll just go see what’s keeping her.”

  
“Oh, well, actually.... while I have you here... you don’t know which one is Serena, do you?”

  
“Why do you ask?” Serena’s curiosity piques at that.

  
“It’s silly... probably nothing... but Bernie talks about this ‘Serena’ A LOT. She’s all ‘Serena this’ and ‘Serena that’. I just wanted to know who my competition was. It seems to me almost as if Bernie might have feelings for this ‘Serena’.”

  
Serena listens flabbergasted. “No... I... no, I don’t really think... I mean we’re.... THEY ... THEY are just very good friends.” Weren’t they? “Would you excuse me for just a minute?” She has to stop herself from running all the way to the locker room to find Bernie.

  
“Jesus! Serena, you made me jump.” Bernie holds her scrub top to her chest. Serena had barged in while she was changing, and scared her half to death.

  
“Claire’s here. She’s waiting in the office.” Serena steps closer, her eyes drawing the blonde’s outline as Bernie turns her back to her and slips on her shirt.

  
“Great. Thanks for letting me know. I won’t be a sec.” Bernie fully expects Serena to go back to the office then, leaving her to finish up in peace. She is startled then when she turns back around to find Serena practically pinning her to her locker. “Serena?” Bernie isn’t sure what’s happening. She can’t quite get a read on the expression the brunette is wearing. “I should...” She points to the door. “Like you said, Claire’s waiting.”

  
“No, she isn’t.” They both turn to the door at the sound of Claire’s voice. “You’re Serena?” She takes in the two women in front of her, the way they are almost touching from head to toe, the way they are looking at each other. It was so obvious that there was more than friendship between them.

  
“I... yes, I am Serena.” Serena looks down at her shoes, suddenly finding them utterly fascinating. “I’ll just leave you two to your date.” She doesn’t look at either woman as she rushes back to the office.

  
“I think we both know that we’re not going on that date.” Claire fixes her with a knowing look when Bernie’s eyes spring up to hers. “Go. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Before it’s too late.”

  
“I can’t... she’s my best friend... she’s straight...” Bernie knows this won’t end well. “She doesn’t think of me that way.” It makes Bernie unbelievably sad to say it out loud, but it’s true.

  
“I think you might be pleasantly surprised. I saw how she looks at you.”

  
“You really think so?” Bernie feels her spirits raise as Claire nods. She hugs Claire and pecks her on the cheek. “Thank you. I’m sorry if I led you on –”

  
“You never stopped talking about the bloody woman, I think I knew before either of you did! No wonder I never got so much as a goodnight kiss.” Claire is laughing as she says it, so Bernie knows there’s no ill feeling. “Hurry up!” She pushes Bernie in the direction of the office.

  
But Serena isn’t in the office when she gets there.

  
* * *

  
Serena has the whole evening to herself: Jason is staying with Alan, and her Shiraz is breathing in the kitchen. It would seem that she’s going to spend tonight stewing over how the woman she loves is on a date with someone who isn’t her. Bloody fantastic, she thinks.

  
The doorbell pulls her momentarily out of her misery, that’s funny she's not expecting anyone. She swings the door open to be greeted by the object of her affections standing on her doorstep. She had not been anticipating that.

  
“Bernie? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” Serena was really confused by the blonde’s presence.

  
“Could I...?" Bernie points to the living room. The warm living room. It was absolutely freezing out here on the doorstep.

  
“Oh, of course. Where are my manners? Come in. Come in.” Serena ushers her inside, closing the door to keep the heat in. She takes Bernie’s coat to hang it up for her, and lets her leave her boots in the usual spot in the hall, under the stairs. “Do you want a drink?” Serena calls over her shoulder as she heads to the kitchen.

  
“Serena, we need to talk.” Bernie stops her dead.

  
“Alright... what do we need to talk about exactly? Is something wrong?” Serena feels panic start to rise inside her.

  
“It’s about why I didn’t go on my date tonight.” Bernie says pointedly.

  
“What does that have to do with me? With us?” Serena’s voice has gone up a few octaves. She isn’t sure whether or not she’ll like where this is going.

  
“I think you know.”

  
“I...” Serena is speechless, she doesn’t know if Bernie has read her mind. She’s somehow worked out that Serena has feelings for her. But how? “I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to find out. I don’t want your date being ruined because of me and my silly, unrequited feelings...”

  
“They’re not.” Bernie interrupts her.

  
“What aren’t?” Serena isn’t following. 

  
“Silly. Your feelings aren’t silly.” Bernie had been looking at the floor, but her head moves so that she is staring straight at Serena. “They’re not unrequited either.”

  
“They aren’t?” Serena surely can’t have heard that right. But she smiles when Bernie shakes her head. “Really?” Serena can barely allow herself to hope it’s true.

  
Bernie steps up to the brunette and grasps each of Serena’s hands in one of hers. “I thought maybe you had realised that I had feelings for you, and that was why you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore.”

  
“No... I... what I said that night was thoughtless and cruel. I’d just started to figure out that I wanted to be more than friends, and I guess I didn’t handle that as well as I could have. And then you were with someone else... I’ve made a right pig’s ear of everything.” Serena casts her eyes downward, she knows she’s behaved appallingly.

  
Bernie places two fingers under the brunette’s chin, tilting Serena’s head up gently until they are looking at one another again. “Can I kiss you?”

  
Serena nods wordlessly and drags the blonde in, kissing her with force. All the feelings that had been stirring in her all this time bubble to the surface. Bernie is an excellent kisser and Serena is in heaven. She moans into Bernie’s mouth as the blonde’s hands glide down her back from her hair, and then settle splayed on her hips. She breaks the kiss with a gasp when Bernie’s fingers find the warm skin under her camisole.

  
“Sorry. Too much.” Bernie fists her hands by her side and steps away, trying not to pounce on the other woman. Now that she was actually getting what she’d craved all this time, she just wants all of Serena. “I didn’t mean... it’s too fast... Is it? It is, isn’t it? I should go...” Bernie almost trips over herself and her words trying to escape. How could she have messed this up so quickly? Even by her standards this was quite a record.

  
“Bernie, wait.” Serena’s command makes her freeze. “I’ve been thinking about this, you, for weeks now, longer probably, and I don’t want you to go. Stay. Please.”

  
“Are you sure that you want this?” Bernie takes a step towards the brunette. “We can take things as slowly as you need to. There’s no pressure from me to... to... do... anything.” The blonde rolls her eyes at herself. Very well put, she thinks. Not.

  
“Honestly, I think I might die if you don’t touch me soon.” Serena had never yearned for someone like this before.

  
“We can’t have that, can we?” Bernie’s courage spikes at the brunette’s confession. She strides back over to Serena, who is only too willing to submit to the blonde’s mouth once again on her own. She revels in the way the brunette’s body arches into her hands, silently pleading for closer contact. By now she has pushed Serena’s blouse off her shoulders, leaving it in a heap on the floor. Just as she’s tugging up the hem of the camisole underneath, a thought hits her. “Jason?” She hates having to tear her lips away from Serena’s, but she really doesn’t want this to go further if the young man might disturb them at any moment.

  
“Not here. Back tomorrow.” Serena barely wastes time on the words, as she kisses the blonde fiercely, her talented fingers making light work of the buttons of Bernie’s shirt.

  
“Ooomfph.” A muffled acknowledgement is all she gets from the blonde, as Bernie has better things to do with her mouth right now. She hardly even pulls away when she lifts the camisole over Serena’s head, disposing of it in the general area of the rest of their discarded clothes.

  
Now they are both topless, save their underwear. They stare wildly at each other for a few fevered heartbeats, trying to take in the fact that they were really doing this.

  
Serena grasps Bernie’s closest hand in her own, and practically drags her towards the stairs. She pauses on the bottom stair to turn to the blonde, asking with her eyes if this is ok. She wants Bernie Wolfe in her bedroom. In her bed. When the blonde nods and presses a light kiss to the side of her neck, Serena tugs on her hand and leads them upstairs.

  
They have barely closed the door behind them, when Bernie presses Serena up against it, and continues her onslaught of the brunette’s mouth. As her hands wrap around Serena, her dexterous, warm fingers tickle across the brunette’s bare waist and back. She smiles on to the skin of Serena’s throat, as the brunette’s head flops back onto the door with a gentle thump, and Serena’s hands thread into her hair, holding her against her.

  
“Christ, you’re good at that.” Serena is beyond keyed up by this point, the blonde’s hot mouth doing wonderful things to her neck.

  
Bernie chuckles and tears her lips away, much to Serena’s displeasure. “Are you ok with this?” She checks in with Serena, her hands trembling just a bit as she undoes the button of the brunette’s trousers.

  
“Touch me.... oh God... please, Bernie.” Serena isn’t above begging apparently.

  
Bernie takes that as her cue, unzipping Serena’s trousers and letting them pool at her feet. Her brain misfires a little when she sees Serena’s matching set of the sexiest lingerie she thinks she ever laid eyes on. It makes her blush to think of her own plain cotton set.

  
Serena mistakes her hesitation for a change of heart, maybe she was a bit fuller of figure than Bernie was used to, she had seen Alex Dawson. “We can stop if you want –” She tries to bend down slightly to fetch her trousers, but Bernie holds firm.

  
“Serena, you’re absolutely bloody gorgeous. Why would I want to stop?” Bernie kisses her softly. “Unless you want to?” She looks up through her lashes as her fingertips trail fire down Serena’s body, ready to breach her last barrier. “Can I?” She needs to be sure this is what Serena wants.

  
“Yes, please. Yes.” Serena knows already that she won’t last long. All this time and all the dreams have made her more than ready. “I don’t think I can hold on much longer.” She pleads with her eyes for the blonde to release her. Soon.

  
“That’s ok.” Bernie thinks it’s more than ok; she thinks it’s fucking incredible that she is reducing Serena to putty in her hands. “We have time. Let me just take the edge off for you and then we’ll go again.” Her words alone almost make Serena let go. Bernie sees her pupils dilated even further and her eyes grow impossibly dark.

  
“Fuck.” Serena’s eyes slam shut, the thought of Bernie touching, pleasuring her, over and over again is almost too much.

  
Bernie captures her lips once more, now that she gets to kiss Serena, she never wants to stop. Her hand works its way inside Serena’s underwear, the wetness she finds there takes her breath away. “Jesus, Serena... you’re soaked.” Her voice is full of awe and wonder. Had she done this to the brunette?

  
As if sensing her thoughts Serena replies. “It’s you. It’s all for you. Please, don’t tease me.” The brunette knows she can’t take much more, grinding herself down on Bernie’s hand, desperate for her to touch her. “Bernie... I need...” Serena’s brain isn’t working, there are so many options, she’s no longer sure what she needs.

  
“It's alright. Serena, I’m not going to make you wait. Not this time.” She winks cheekily and pecks Serena on the lips. Time to put her out of her misery.

  
“Jesus! Fuck! Christ!” Serena babbles obscenities once Bernie finally touches her. “Yes! Oh yes!” She grabs hold of the blonde’s shoulder, for leverage and because she doesn’t trust her legs to hold her up, her nails dig deliciously into Bernie’s skin. She really is on the edge already. “Gawwww.... Bernie.... I’m... close.... so... close.” She practically whines in between pants when she feels the beginnings of her orgasm, which start between her legs and pulse out all over her body. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” She shudders in the blonde’s strong embrace, her face twisted in ecstasy. Bernie knows she’s never seen anything more beautiful. “Bernie.” She gasps out the name, her legs giving out, she crumples into Bernie’s arms. Breathy harshly through her nose, she twitches with aftershocks.

  
Bernie lifts her and carries her over to the bed, divesting them both of the rest of their clothes, she slowly lowers herself on top of Serena. She looks decidedly smug when she sees the brunette still reeling from her orgasm.

  
“There’s no need to look so pleased with yourself.” Serena teases.

  
“I just can’t believe we’re here.” Bernie hopes to God she never wakes up if this is a dream. “I love you.” She says it before kissing Serena gently. “Oh God, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s too soon. I’m sorry, I’m terrible at this, aren’t I?” She looks petrified that she’s wrecked the moment.

  
“I love you too. I think I have been falling in love with you, bit by bit, since the moment I met you.” She reaches up to cup the blonde’s cheek. “Come here, you.” Serena crushes their mouths together, her body starting to crave the blonde again.

  
Bernie knows from the way Serena is kissing her that she’s worked up again. This time she wants to taste her, and spend some time on her perfect breasts. Those loose-fitting blouses and slacks she wore at the hospital hid all of her amazing curves. Bernie feels like it must be Christmas morning and Serena is her gift. She takes her time on every inch of Serena she has at her disposal, relishing the brunette’s more than enthusiastic responses. 

  
“Bernie... oh yes... oh...” Serena looks down at the blonde between her legs, enthralled with watching her efforts. This is so much better than all her dreams combined, because Bernie is real and she’s here. And Serena loves her. That thought alone pushes her over the edge. “Bernie... I love you... oh God, I love you...” Serena feels like she’s flying, nothing in her mind at all except how incredible every part of her body feels. The blonde works her up to two more softer, but no less intense, orgasms with that skilled tongue of hers, until Serena has to pull away. She is too sensitive now for any more, but they will definitely be revisiting the way Bernie’s mouth had driven her to the brink and beyond, several times again. Once she can feel her limbs again perhaps. Was it normal for one’s legs not to work after so many mind-blowing orgasms?

  
“Was that ok?” Bernie nuzzles at the brunette’s neck, kissing it softly and holding her until the aftershocks subside.

  
“It was very ok. Amazing actually. You are amazing. Once I regain the use of my extremities, I will be more than happy to respond in kind.” Serena has never felt this delightfully spent before. “I love you, Bernie.” She curls herself around the blonde, relishing the intimacy and closeness.

  
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.” Bernie is gently stroking the brunette’s skin with her fingertips; she can’t quite believe she gets to do this now. “I love you too.” She drops a quick kiss to Serena’s bare shoulder.

  
“Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want you to go home.”

  
“Have you had dinner yet?” Bernie poses the question and Serena shakes her head. “Me neither. I tell you what. How about I nip home for an overnight bag, I’ll pick up a takeaway and come straight back? You can stay right here.” Bernie kisses the tip of Serena’s nose, before slipping out of the bed to get dressed.

  
“That’s quite the view.” Serena says with a cheeky smile, eyes firmly on Bernie’s backside as she picks up her clothes off the floor. “Hurry back. I’ll be waiting.” Serena knows she has never been happier.

  
* * *

  
When Bernie gets back, she finds that Serena has had a quick shower and has slipped into her pyjamas. She had gotten a bit chilly in bed without her Bernie-shaped hot water bottle. She looks up fondly at Bernie from the bed when the blonde comes in to the bedroom, with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder and a try full of food and Shiraz. 

  
Bernie swiftly changes into her own tank top and shorts that she used as pyjamas, before settling in beside the brunette.

  
They relax, with the TV on low in the background, as they eat and kiss and just enjoy being together at last. Serena can’t believe that only a few short hours ago, she was resigning herself to seeing Bernie with another woman.

  
Once they’ve eaten, Bernie climbs out of bed to take the dishes downstairs. “Leave those. I’ll wash up tomorrow.” Serena points to the chest of drawers by the door and the blonde slides the tray on top. “I want you back in my bed, Major.” 

  
Serena fixes her with a heated stare that makes Bernie’s throat stop working. Thankfully her legs are still functioning, as she more or less flings herself back in beside the brunette. “That’s much better.” Serena reaches out for her and Bernie meets her in the middle of the bed, their mouths like opposite poles of two magnets, as they share a deep, languid kiss.

  
When Serena's hand snakes its way under the blonde’s tank top, Bernie thinks she might catch fire when she feels Serena’s fingers on the underside of her breast.

  
“I’ve never... um... with a woman before.” Serena doesn’t sound unsure, more just an observation. She cups the other woman’s breast with her hand, squeezing gently, getting accustomed to the weight in her hand. She particularly enjoys the hiss that Bernie lets out as she softly pinches her nipple over and over with her thumb and forefinger.

  
“You’re doing.... fffffffine.” Bernie stutters out when Serena decides to use her mouth instead. “Oh God. Ssss.... Serena, oh that’s good!” She moans and squirms under the brunette’s ministrations.

  
“Take this off. Take everything off.” Serena releases her nipple with a ‘pop’ to lift the blonde’s tank top off and pull her shorts down. Then she takes her own pyjamas off and, there’s no other word for it, she climbs on top of Bernie. Evidence of her own arousal wet and warm on Bernie’s stomach, makes the blonde groan as she pulls them flush and kisses Serena senseless. “You’re gorgeous.” The brunette smiles as she says it, her hands exploring the body underneath her.

  
“Serena...” She gasps out the name as the brunette finds an especially sensitive spot on her side. She didn’t even know that part of her body could be considered an erogenous zone.

  
“What, darling?” Serena’s face is so soft and open that Bernie thinks she might cry at the term of endearment.

  
“Are you sure that you want to... to...” Bernie would sell her soul to the devil himself to have Serena touch her, but only on Serena’s terms. “I mean.... you don’t have to....um...” She’s at a loss for words. Not helped by the fact that now Serena’s hands are once again on her chest. “Yes, oh Serena, yessssss!”

  
“Make no mistake. I’m going to have my way with you, Ms Wolfe.” The glint in Serena’s eyes is positively sinful. “I’ve been imagining this. Having you here. With me.”

  
“You have?”

  
“Most definitely.” Serena kisses a path from Bernie’s chest back up to her ear. “I have to confess; I’ve wondered what it would be like to taste you.” 

  
Bernie shivers at just the thought. Serena’s mouth between her thighs sounds heavenly. “Jesus Christ, Serena. That is the hottest thing I think I’ve ever heard.” She laughs at her own eagerness, which swiftly turns into a moan of pleasure, as the brunette begins kissing her way back down Bernie’s body. “Oh Serena, that feels... ugh...” Bernie loses the power of speech as Serena uses her hands and her mouth on her breasts. She could come just from this, she knows she could, but what she really wants, what she needs, is for Serena to move lower and bloody well touch her. Immediately. “I can’t... Serena.... please... I’m....” Bernie feels ridiculously close to coming now, and she knows she won’t be able to hang on, especially if Serena keeps sucking and tugging on her nipples like that. “If you don’t stop I’m gonna...”

  
Serena takes pity on her. There’s no way she wants the first time she makes Bernie unravel to happen without even having touched her. “It’s ok, love. I’m going to make you feel so good.” Serena promises against the skin of Bernie’s torso as she kisses downwards and downwards. Bernie’s hips jump off the bed when Serena strokes one finger over her swollen clit.

  
“Shit! Serena.... please... I can’t...” Bernie needs the brunette to touch her. She can’t even see straight, she’s so wound up. And then finally. Finally. Serena’s mouth in on her and she can’t bring herself to care how close to letting go she is already. “Yes. There. Oh there. Serena, that is perfect.” And it was. Bernie’s fists clench as she starts to feel her orgasm build. Her hand seems to thread through Serena’s hair of its own accord, holding the brunette where she needs her. “I’m going to come.” Bernie cries out seconds before her body arches and she’s seeing stars.

  
When she come back to herself, Serena is holding her close and nuzzling her neck.

“Alright?” Serena is smiling at her like she is water in the desert.

  
“More than. That was one of the best experiences of my life.” Bernie’s eyes are a little misty with unshed tears. “I love you.” She lets Serena kiss her softly and then they settle in each other’s arms.

  
“I love you too, Bernie.” Serena’s head rests on the blonde’s chest, and it is her steady heartbeat that lulls the brunette to sleep.


	7. We've Got To Stop Meeting Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They haven't met yet, but they keep seeing each other everywhere....

“Oh, bloody hell!” Serena’s coffee has been rather unceremoniously knocked down the front of her blouse, and some of the hot liquid has also spilled on to the back of her hand. She surveys the damage, whilst shaking her hand to remove it before it scalds her.

  
“Oh my God! I am so sorry.” A blonde about her age had bumped into her. She reaches across the counter to lift a wad of napkins and begins patting Serena dry. “It looks like it might stain, I’m afraid. You can send me the dry-cleaning bill; I work at the hospital. Keller ward.”

But Serena doesn’t hear the other woman’s words, because the blonde is effectively rubbing her boobs with the napkins. In fact, she’s reasonably sure that everyone in the queue can now see her erect nipples through her soaked blouse. The blonde suddenly seems to realise this herself, as her hand shoots away like she’s been electrocuted. “Oh... I... I should probably let you take care of yourself... take care of _it_ yourself. I mean.... I really am sorry.” The blonde looks anywhere but at Serena’s chest, her face burning with embarrassment.

  
Serena has a mind to be very cross, but the blonde is already looking so remorseful and her blushes are adorable given their age. “Don’t make a habit of it.”

  
“Wasn’t planning to. How about I buy you a fresh cup for your troubles? Throw in a pain au chocolat?” She’s next in line anyway.

  
“You do know the way to a girl's heart.” Serena grins with a cheeky wink at her would be assailant, making the blonde blush even more.

  
‘BERNIE WOLFE TO KELLER. BERNIE WOLFE TO KELLER WARD, PLEASE. URGENT.’ The internal pager system halts the blonde’s order.

  
“Dammit. That’s me. I have to run.” And she does. Serena rather enjoys watching her. Was a woman of their age supposed to have a rear-end like that? “I’ll make it up to you.” She calls a little breathlessly over her shoulder at Serena.

  
_Now there’s an offer..._ Serena shakes her head to expel such thoughts. She’d never been more than friends with a woman before in her life.

  
True to her word, Serena finds a fresh coffee and the pastry sitting on her desk when she has a break after surgery later that day. There’s also a business card for a dry-cleaners in town. A little handwritten note on the back even says ‘They know to expect you. I’ll take care of the bill. Maybe we’ll ‘bump’ into each other again soon. Bernie Wolfe.’

  
Serena can’t stop herself from smiling. She tucks the business card into her purse, and spends the rest of the day grinning just thinking about this Bernie Wolfe. If Serena didn’t know better, she’d think she might just have a little crush...

  
* * *

  
The next time they do see each other is only a few days later. Bernie is sitting on a bench in the grounds, when Serena spots her and heads over.

  
“Penny for them.” Serena comes up behind the blonde to whisper in her ear. The blonde was deep in thought and doesn’t see the brunette approach, she almost jumps so high she falls off the bench.

  
“Fu....udge nuggets.” Bernie catches herself just before she swears. “Could you wear louder shoes next time please?” She puts her hand over her chest, willing her heart to calm down.

  
“Sorry.” Serena offers a conciliatory smile, and sits next to the blonde. “Rough day?” She glances over to the woman next to her. The blonde did rather look like she had the world on her shoulders.

  
“You could say that.” Bernie purses her lips, it doesn’t appear like she’s going to say any more, until she starts to speak again. “Saved a patient. Lost a lover.” She buries her face in her hands, a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks. This is pathetic, she knows it is. Army Majors do not sit on hospital benches sobbing over breakups. She only cries harder when the brunette puts her arm around her.

  
“Whoever he is, he’s a bloody fool.” Serena squeezes the blonde to her; she has no idea why she’s hugging this complete stranger in the hospital carpark.

  
“She.” Bernie looks up at her, tears spilling over her lower eyelids, before wiping at her nose with the sleeve of her hoody.

  
Serena offers her a small smile. “Well, she’s a bloody fool then.” She swipes at the blonde’s tears with her thumb.

  
“Thank you.” Bernie tries to compose herself; she’d be the talk of the entire staff tomorrow otherwise. “Please don’t tell anyone that I’m –” _A lesbian_. She silently adds. “I haven’t told anyone else.”

  
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Serena vows. 

  
Then the brunette spots Dr Copeland walking towards them, obviously looking for the other consultant. “Dr Copeland....” She stands between Bernie and the junior doctor, so that he can’t see the state of the blonde. A buffer that the blonde is only too grateful for. “...run along and tell Mr Levy that Ms Wolfe is helping me on AAU for the rest of today.” When the younger doctor looks like he might argue, might step around Serena to see Ms Wolfe for himself, she fixes him with her iciest stare. “Now, Dr Copeland.” She folds her arms and waits for him to scurry off with his tail between his legs. “Where are you going?” Serena turns on the blonde who stands to go back inside.

  
“AAU. Helping you.” Bernie says it like Serena has gone mad.

  
“Piffle! I finished my shift 30 minutes ago. Pub?” Serena links arms with the blonde.

  
Bernie steps out of the embrace, shaking her head and making her untethered curls bounce around her face. “Rain check maybe. I should get back to work. Thank you for the offer. I really appreciate it." She squeezes Serena’s forearm in thanks before rushing back inside the hospital.

  
* * *

  
“Serena Campbell, have we met?” She offers her hand to the blonde, who's squirming on the side-lines. Bernie really hated dressing up and towing the corporate line.

  
“Bernie Wolfe. Once or twice.” Bernie plays along, shaking her hand with a bright smile, and then they are just staring at each, hands still clasped between them.

  
“Not really your thing?” Serena nods at the function room full of medical professionals, and reluctantly releases her grip on the blonde.

  
“Is it that obvious?” Bernie turns her head, trying not to blush.

  
“If it’s any consolation, you look beautiful.” Serena surprises them both with that.

  
Bernie’s head snaps back round to the brunette, her eyes wide. “Um.... I... thanks... you do too of course. You always do.” Bernie bites her bottom lip, not sure where she’d found the courage to say that.

  
“You’re too kind.” Serena’s warm breath puffs onto Bernie’s ear as she leans in to whisper to her. Bernie feels dizzy as she gets a lungful of the brunette’s perfume. “Would you like –”

  
“Serena, come dance with me.” The man who had accompanied the brunette to the event pulls her attention away. Bernie couldn’t say she recognised him from the hospital.

  
“Sorry for leaving you on your own.” Serena really doesn’t want to go. She wants to keep talking to Bernie.

  
“Don’t worry about me. Your date is waiting.” Bernie reassures her that she’s fine.

  
“Oh, no he’s not my –” Serena is prevented from saying more as the man in question basically drags her to the dance floor. “Robbie, what are you doing?” Serena was seething, furious that she’d been taken away from Bernie to dance with her ex. She had already invited him before she’d dumped him, and he knew the ground rules: this was not a date.

  
“C’mon, Serena....” He drawls in her ear; he’d clearly been availing himself of the free bar. “... stop playing hard to get. You know you miss me, why else would I be here?”

  
“No, Robbie. You’re here because it was already all arranged. Get your hands off me.” She tries to wiggle out of his arms, he was starting to hurt her with how tightly he was grabbing onto her.

  
Bernie senses that something isn’t right. The brunette’s body language was all wrong if that man really was her date. Serena seems to be struggling to get him off her. She doesn’t even think before striding straight for him. “Oi, you!” She startles the man, who looks a little bit petrified of the imposing blonde who has him locked in her sights. “Yeah, you.” She steps between him and the brunette, poking his chest, hard, to emphasise that she means him. “Get away from Serena.”

  
“This is none of your business.” He tries to feign more bravado than he feels, but he’s pretty sure the blonde could take him in a heartbeat.

  
“Serena is my business.” Bernie puffs out her chest and crowds the man even further. “She’s my friend and you’re bothering her. Now, buzz off.” Bernie narrows her eyes, daring him to push his luck.

  
Serena just watches utterly speechless. She might even lick her lips, and moan at how forcibly the blonde is defending her honour. She admittedly feels an unwarranted sense of disappointment when Bernie refers to her as a ‘friend’, but no point dwelling on that.

  
“Go on. Before I throw you out myself.” Bernie warns and Serena feels faint at the thought of Bernie strong arming the man from the building. She keeps her gaze fixed on Robbie’s departing back until she’s satisfied that he’s definitely gone. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Bernie’s temper flairs as she inspects the slight bruising on the brunette’s wrist where Robbie had held fast. “I’ll bloody kill him!” Bernie stomps off in search of the little prick.

  
“Bernie. No. Wait. It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t waste your energy on him. He isn’t worth it.” Serena steps in front of the blonde and grips her upper arms lightly to keep her in the room. “How about you use your energy to dance with me instead?” Serena’s lips quirk into a hint of a smile and she runs her fingertips down Bernie’s arms to interlock their hands.

  
The red mist abates as quickly as it had descended when Bernie hears Serena ask her to dance, and she feels the brunette’s hand in hers. Her eyes move from the door to the brunette, as she smiles and nods, letting Serena lead them back to the dance floor.

  
“Maybe we shouldn’t. It might not be appropriate. They might think that we’re....” Bernie sees all the other faces watching them.

  
“Let them think what they like.” Serena drapes her arms over Bernie’s shoulders and pulls her closer, resting her chin on Bernie’s shoulder. She relaxes once she feels Bernie arms around her waist. “Would it be so bad if they did think we were?” Serena lifts her forefinger to run it along Bernie’s jaw, pulling back to look at the woman in her arms. Their noses almost touch as she considers whether to kiss Bernie or not. She knows she wants to, just perhaps not here. Somewhere more private where they can explore at their leisure.

  
“I know how much you hate the rumour mill. And object to workplace romances.” Bernie removes herself from Serena’s arms, as the brunette blinks rapidly, doing her best not to cry. “You’re not even attracted to women, Serena.” Bernie won’t look at her, as she grabs her coat and her bag. Some fresh air would banish the treacherous thoughts swirling in her brain.

  
“I’m attracted to one in particular.” Serena whispers sadly, as all she can do is watch Bernie leave.

  
* * *

  
Bernie avoids her for as long as she can after that night. Of course, the cosmos has other plans, when Hanssen tells her she’s being seconded to AAU. _Bloody brilliant_. Although her expertise are probably better suited to Serena’s ward, where she could be of some use.

  
“The cavalry has arrived.” She quips as she leans on the doorframe of Serena’s office, trying to keep things jovial.

  
“My hero.” Serena’s tone oozes scorn and sarcasm.

  
“Anyway.... where do you need me?” Bernie ploughs on.

  
“Let’s get one thing straight. I do not _need_ anything from you.” Serena is rather violently tapping on her keyboard as she speaks and Bernie has to feel sorry for it.

  
“Serena, I’m not here to take over. I’m certainly not suggesting you aren’t capable of running your own ward. Henrik simply asked me to help out, but if it’s an issue my being here...” Bernie holds up her hands in mock surrender and turns to leave.

  
Serena would never hear the end of it from their CEO if she didn’t let Bernie lend a hand. “Fine. You can start with rounds.” She lifts the pile of charts off her desk and dumps them into Bernie’s arms.

  
“Rounds. Right. That I can do.” Bernie gives her a small, closed mouth smile and heads off to work.

  
* * *

  
“Thanks for today.” Serena offers quietly when they are both back in the office. She has to admit, Bernie had been a godsend. They worked together perfectly in theatre and she always enjoyed having the blonde around.

  
“No problem.” Bernie is looking right at her and Serena can practically feel her eyes on her. “A few of the staff invited me to Albies. If you’re interested?”

  
“Yes, I think that would be nice.” Serena accepts the olive branch.

  
“Friends again?” Bernie extends her hand as a peace offering.

  
“Friends again.” Serena nods and shakes the blonde’s hand. She can’t help the heavy feeling in her heart, when she thinks that’s all they’ll ever be now.

  
* * *

  
Bernie sees her mistake when they’re all settled at the bar. She’s had a bit too much to drink and Serena is a bit too irresistible. She should go home, but she just doesn’t want to.

  
“Well, Major. I think someone’s having a good time.” Serena rests her hand on Bernie’s knee, before sliding it subtly higher and making Bernie’s skin pimple with goosebumps. The only thing she’s drunk on is the brunette. Her last thread of restraint is well and truly frayed by the tactile vascular surgeon.

  
“I think I might be slightly tipsy.” Bernie turns to admit, closer to Serena’s face than she’d intended. God, she could just reach out and run her thumb over Serena’s bottom lip, before kissing her to end her internal debate about what she tastes like.

  
“You don’t say.” Serena chuckles and tucks Bernie’s curls behind her ear. She knows she’s not alone in this when she hears Bernie’s breath hitch at the intimate act.

  
“Serena, I...” Serena’s mouth is so close that if she dipped her tongue out to wet her lips, she’d be able to touch Serena’s mouth with her tongue.

  
Serena’s eyes flicker down to Bernie’s lips, staying there for a moment and moving back up to her eyes again. “Bernie, I would very much like you to walk me home.” The blonde isn’t sure if Serena is saying what she thinks she’s saying.

  
The blonde is just about to answer when Morven drags Serena up for a dance. “No, Ms Campbell you can’t go yet!!” Serena looks back at Bernie, an apology in her eyes, as the younger doctor leads her to join a conga line.

  
The interruption sobers Bernie as sharply as being slapped. She had almost been about to... She groans and holds her head in her hand.

  
When Serena comes back around at the head of the conga line, she can’t find Bernie anywhere. Her spirits dampen when she realises the blonde must have gone home.

  
* * *

  
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Serena accuses the blonde when she next sees her at Pulses. She was meant to be helping out again on AAU, but she’d been MIA all morning.

  
“No, Serena... I’ve been...” Bernie stumbles over her excuses.

  
“I’m afraid that’s my fault.” Serena looks up as a slim brunette, who looks like she’s mid 40s, sits opposite Bernie with two coffees in her hands. “Alex Dawson. Bernie’s girlfriend.”

  
“Alex!” Bernie had not agreed to getting back together. She had been about to explain that things were definitely over when Serena had turned up.

  
“Girlfriend?” Serena says the word like she’s never heard it before, like she doesn’t understand its meaning. She gazes between the two women, her heart shattering underneath her ribs. “Right. Well, if you’ll excuse me...” Serena hears the blonde call out to her, but it sounds faraway like she’s underwater. Her legs feel like they’re trying to wade in deep water too it seems. She needs to get as far away from the pair as she can, before anyone sees her crying.

  
* * *

  
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bernie tries to explain when she finds Serena. Had she been crying?

  
“It’s nothing to do with me.” Serena wants to leave the office again, but Bernie is blocking the doorway.

  
“Actually, it has everything to do with you.” Bernie says shyly.

  
“What?” Serena is taken aback by that comment.

  
“I told her it was over. Has been ever since I’d started falling for someone else.” Bernie wills Serena to understand her meaning. She closes the door behind her, locking it and pulling all the blinds closed. Serena watches her dumbstruck. _Was Bernie saying that she...?_

  
She stands slowly, a little unsteadily, from her desk chair. Nervously, she looks down at her own hands, worrying at her fingers and praying that she’s read this correctly. “Is it me?” She says and rolls her eyes at how that sounds.

  
Bernie is on her in seconds, wrapping her arms around her middle and resting their foreheads together. “No.” She answers seriously, shaking her head, and Serena’s heart falls into her stomach. Then she sees that Bernie’s smiling, teasing. “Yes! Yes. Yes. Y –” The rest of the word is swallowed by Serena covering her mouth with her own and kissing her until someone needs them back on the ward.


	8. I Am Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a wee mix of canon and my own ideas for how they first meet. Part one of two. 😊

“Would you mind if I –” Serena looks up from her book to see a blonde woman eyeing up the spare seat at her table. “Unless you’re waiting for someone? I was rather hoping to take a load off, and this is the only seat left. I didn’t mean to disturb you, I’m sorry.” Without waiting for a reply, she tries to reverse out the way she came, but the cafe is packed tight.

Between the tray she’s balancing on one palm, and walking with what Serena now sees is a crutch, she keeps getting stuck and swiping the other customers with her items. “I’m terribly sorry.” “Do excuse me.” “I beg your pardon.” She’s getting more and more flustered and embarrassed, as she fights with the crutch leg now trapped between two chairs.

  
“Here, let me help you.” Serena takes the tray and places it at her table, and then frees the blonde’s crutch for her. “You’re welcome to join me if you like.” Serena nods over to the still free seat at her table with a kind smile.

  
“Thank you.” The blonde sighs in relief. “I’m used to doling out these things...” She indicates her crutch. “...not using them myself.” She falls heavily into the offered chair, the feet of which screech a little on the tiled floor from the force. The effort has clearly tired her out, as her face is red and her breathing a bit harsh, there are even a few beads of sweat clinging to her forehead, which she dabs at with a napkin.

  
Serena's gaze slowly returns to her book, so she doesn’t see the blonde put her earphones in as she comments. “Looks like you’ve been in the wars.”

  
The blonde sees the brunette’s lips move; she must be talking to her. “SORRY, WHAT?” She says very loudly, forgetting her earphones. When Serena points to her crutch. “OH THAT...” She sees Serena signal that her earphones are still in, and then she removes them, before saying more quietly. “Oh that. Yeah, went and got myself blown up, didn’t I?” The blonde shrugs as if it’s an everyday occurrence.

  
“You really have been in the wars then.” Serena observes, eyes wide with shock.

  
“Former RAMC, truck I was in hit an IED. They flew me in to the hospital over the road.” She points to the very hospital the brunette works in. “Apparently, I crashed in the middle of my two simultaneous operations – my idea. Lucky to be here. So they tell me.”

  
“I'm a vascular surgeon at Holby. Serena Campbell.” She holds out her hand for the blonde to shake.

  
“Berenice Wolfe. Trauma surgeon. At least I will be once my physio is done with.” She shakes Serena’s hand warmly.

  
“Berenice Wolfe?” Serena’s ears prick up at that.

  
“That’s right.” The blonde takes a sip of her coffee.

  
“You’re Berenice Wolfe?” Serena sounds like a broken record.

  
“Last time I checked.” Bernie eyes her warily over the top of her coffee cup, like she might be slightly hard of hearing. Or mental.

  
Serena flicks to the author photo in the book she’s been studying. She glances between it and the woman in front of her. _Yep, it was definitely her alright_. “You wrote this?” She hands her book over and the blonde takes it, studying the cover of her own text.

  
“Yep. Guilty.” Bernie hands it back to the brunette. “Hardly light reading. _The applications of field triage trauma techniques in the NHS_. Writing it had been keeping me sane during my imposed convalescence.”

  
“I have found it fascinating.” Serena had nothing but professional admiration for the trauma surgeon, she was arguably one of the best in the country.

  
“If you’d like to discuss any of it some time, I’ll be here, same day and time, every week for physio, for the foreseeable. Speaking of which...” She quickly checks her watch. “...I’d better get going, before Nurse Ratched has my head.” Bernie shakes the brunette’s hand again. “It was nice to meet you, Serena.”

  
“You too, Berenice.” Serena smiles and returns the handshake.

  
“Bernie. Please.” The blonde nods her goodbyes. “If you read it when you're have trouble sleeping, it should send you right off.” She indicates the book in Serena’s other hand with a chuckle.

  
“You sell yourself short, Bernie.” Serena grins as she watches the blonde shuffle out of the cafe and across the street to the hospital.

  
* * *

  
One week later, Serena spots Bernie in the same seat as their previous meeting. She places her hand on Bernie’s shoulder, as she leans down to whisper hello, and settles opposite the blonde.

  
“I don’t agree with your assessment that current NHS triage techniques are archaic and inefficient.” She challenges, as she slides the extra pastry that she’d bought at the counter just in case, towards Bernie.

  
“Is that so?” Bernie fixes the brunette with a defiant stare; higher ranking officers had cowered at the Major’s authority when she thought her approach was being questioned. However, Serena seems to hold her own, as they chat like they’d known each other for years.

  
“Oh damn, look at the time!” Serena realises she’s kept them both hideously late by talking so much. “I have to get back to work.”

  
“I'll walk you over. If I won’t be too slow? Hold you up?” Bernie curses her injury, it’s not the first time this week she’s found herself frustrated by her lack of progress.

  
“A military escort, how could I refuse?” Serena links elbows with the blonde, as they carefully make their way over to the front entrance. “Here we are then.” She calls the lift, to allow Bernie to head up to the physiotherapy department, and she lingers, not really wanting to go back to her ward just yet. She might assess the reasons for that later. “I’ll see you next week?” She inquires when the blonde steps into the empty lift, and presses the button for her floor.

  
“I’ll be there.” Bernie salutes as the doors close, making Serena giggle and wave like a lovesick teenage girl. Serena lifts her eyes towards the heavens at how juvenile she’s being. She sincerely hopes no one had seen the inimitable Serena Campbell swooning over a pair of dark eyes and a bird’s nest of blonde curls. She tells herself she’s just glad to have met an intellectual equal, and possibly even a friend.

  
* * *

  
“I spoke to our CEO about your singular talents.” Serena chirps as she sits down, in their usual spot at the table near the back. She was so excited to tell Bernie how she’d convinced Henrik to agree to opening a trauma unit out of AAU. Her face falls when she sees Bernie’s expression and body language. “What’s wrong?” She covers the blonde’s hands with one of hers.

  
“Oh nothing. It’s nothing. Really.” Bernie slips her hands free of Serena’s.

  
“Bernie?” Serena tries to coax her to talk to her.

  
“Honestly Serena, don’t even worry about it. We’ve only known each other a few weeks. You don’t need to burden yourself with my fuck ups.” She bites her bottom lip to hold back tears.

  
“Talk to me. Please.” Serena implores the blonde to trust her.

  
“My ex-husband just phoned. My kids haven’t spoken to me since the divorce. I thought maybe now I'm staying here, and had been hurt in the field, that they might... want to see me. He says not.” Bernie looks so small and sad and lost; Serena wants to fling her arms around her and never let go.

  
“I’m sure they’ll come around.” She says instead.

  
“I doubt that. The divorce was my fault. I had an affair. With a woman.” Bernie picks at an imaginary stain on her trousers, not able to meet the brunette’s eye. “You don’t need to hear all this. I’m going to be late for physio.” Bernie pushes herself to stand and rushes off as quickly as her legs will let her.

Serena never does get to tell her the good news.

  
* * *

  
The following week Serena isn’t waiting at the cafe, and Bernie thinks it’s probably because of her previous performance. She’s frightened away the only friend she has. _Sounds about righ_ t. Her coffee is difficult to swallow past the lump in her throat, as she contemplates if there might be a way to apologise to the brunette for her behaviour.

  
It isn’t until she crosses the street to head up to the main entrance of the hospital, that she finds out why the brunette hadn’t appeared to their weekly gathering. She’s standing with her back to Bernie, seems to have her arms folded, and is having a quite heated conversation with some potato-headed man.

  
“For Christ sake, Robbie. He’s my nephew. I won’t kick him out on the street. Not for you, not for anyone.” Serena struggles to keep her temper.

  
“Serena, he is not living with us. He’s a grown man.”

  
“He’s family, and yes he needs a bit more support because of the Asperger’s. I love him, and I will not turn my back on him. Jason stays with me.” Serena puts her foot down.

  
“Well, then you have to make a choice. Him or me.” This Robbie thinks he has her hands tied now, the smug git.

  
“Him.” Serena barely lets him finish the sentence. If this was his ultimatum, then there was no contest.

  
“What?” Robbie was not expecting that answer.

  
“You heard me. Him.” Serena moves to walk away, but Robbie grabs hold of her upper arms and Bernie wants to wring his bloody neck. “Let go of me. It’s over. Robbie, you’re hurting me.” Serena tries not to scream in his face as she wrenches herself free.

  
He considers arguing, but her eyes are like slits now, as she glares at him. Instead, he stomps off like a petulant child in Bernie’s direction. The blonde sticks her crutch out at the last second, sending him flying. She is very satisfied with her handy work when he ends up in a heap on the ground.

  
“Oh my God. I’m sorry.” She isn’t. “How clumsy of me.” She steps towards him, ostensibly to help him up, and crushes one of his hands under her crutch.

  
“AWWWWW!” Bernie feigns remorse, as her eyes shine with mirth at his predicament.

  
“Oops. I seem to be making it worse, don’t I?” Bernie releases his hand and allows him to scramble to his feet.

  
Serena is watching the whole thing, delighted. She has a sneaking suspicion that the blonde knew exactly what she was doing.

  
“Lovely to meet you! We must do this again some time!” Bernie calls after him as skulks off. He glances back fearfully at the blonde, before speeding up.

  
“You did that on purpose.” Serena tries not to laugh.

  
“Me?” Bernie pretends to be offended. “Never!”

  
“Thank you.” Serena kisses her on the cheek, and then she grabs Bernie’s chin as she has to rub her lipstick mark off with her thumb, and Bernie tries to hide her blushes.

  
“You’re very welcome.” Bernie’s eyes are soft and warm as she offers the brunette a lopsided smile. “I know it’s a cliché, but you deserve better, Serena.” Bernie turns her head to look in the direction Robbie had gone, then back round to look straight at the brunette again. She leaves Serena missing her eyes on her, when she has to tear herself away to go for physio.

  
* * *

  
They do not see each other again for a few weeks. Serena’s schedule on AAU is hectic at the best of times, but this last while it has been ridiculous. Even if she does make it to the cafe to meet Bernie, she is disappointed not to find her there. Serena had never taken her number or anything, so she has no way of contacting her. She just has to hope that the blonde was okay.

  
“I hear you’re my sponsor.” Serena looks up to find the blonde at her office door, she notes that she is wearing scrubs and is without her crutch.

  
“Bernie!” Serena beams as she stands to envelop her in a long hug. “I’ve missed you.” She allows the confession, only realising the extent to which she had missed the blonde, when she had seen her again just now.

  
Bernie ducks her head, embarrassed by the brunette’s admission. Serena thinks she looks gorgeous, the apples of her cheeks tinged slightly pink. “It’s good to see you, Serena.”

  
“What’s all this about being your sponsor?” Serena bats her eyelashes at the blonde, her joy that Bernie was here brimming over.

  
“The trauma unit.” Bernie explains that Mr Hanssen had agreed to take her on as lead trauma consultant. She would help Serena on AAU as co-lead, as well as heading up trauma, once the unit officially opened. “I hear you put in a good word for me.”

  
“You’re the best there is. It was hardly a difficult sell.” Serena delights in the even darker shade of pink colouring the blonde’s face at that. If she cared to put a label on it, she’d swear she was flirting with Bernie.

  
“Right! Put me to work then.” Bernie rubs her hands together, ready for action, and thrilled to be fully mobile and back to what she loved doing.

  
* * *

  
Serena had read and heard so much about Bernie Wolfe’s expertise, she thought she’d be prepared for the woman herself. How wrong she was! The blonde was easily the most fantastic, fearless doctor in the entire hospital. The trauma unit was a roaring success, and she was the only person the brunette could ever have imagined sharing her ward with. Serena is even starting to feel like she would share a whole lot more with Bernie Wolfe, if she’d let her...

  
“You kept that quiet.” Serena fishes a small card-shaped envelope from her desk drawer, and walks round to give it to the blonde. When Bernie turns it over in her hands looking adorably confused, Serena clarifies. “It’s your birthday. Why didn’t you say anything? Happy Birthday, Bernie!!” The blonde is pulled into another one of Serena’s fierce hugs, and gets a much longer than is probably consider friendly kiss on the cheek from the brunette. “I have to confess that I did get you a couple of gifts, but they were a little too big to wrap I’m afraid.”

  
“Wha –”

  
“Mum.”

  
“Hi Mum.”

  
“Charlotte? Cameron? What are you doing here?” Bernie stands frozen in shock for a few moments, before barrelling at her babies and hugging them close.

  
“I'm just going to give you all some time alone.” Serena heads to the office door. “You won’t be interrupted; I’ll make sure of it.” She winks at Bernie, before closing the door behind her.

  
“Serena called us. She told us what happened. Dad didn’t tell us, Mum. If we’d known you were hurt... I’m so sorry we haven’t been in touch. Dad said you’d started a new life with Alex, that you didn’t want to see us.” Charlotte fills in the blanks.

  
“No. No. No. Never. I would never, ever, want to stop seeing you both. I love you both more than anything in the entire world.” She holds her hands up to their cheeks and strokes their faces. She could hardly believe they were here. “Oh, it’s so good to see you!” She squeezes them tight again.

  
“Alex?” Cam asks once his mum lets go.

  
“We... um... didn’t work out. But it’s ok, I’m happy here. With the job and... everything.” She smiles at her children; she had missed them terribly.

  
“We booked a meal for tonight because it’s your birthday. Our treat. We only reserved a table for three, but we could change it to four people. You can invite Serena, since you two are...” Charlotte’s expression conveys the rest of her meaning.

  
“Since we two are what?” Charlotte rolls her eyes, knowing her mum can be a bit oblivious in matters of the heart.

  
“Oh c’mon, Mum. You clearly have a thing going on. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Gross, I cannot believe I just said that about my own mother...” Cam shudders as he spells it out for the clueless trauma surgeon.

  
Bernie laughs at that, but it sounds forced. “No. No. Nooooooo. You’ve got the wrong idea. Serena and I, we just work together.” When both kids raise their eyebrows, she continues. “Well, I mean we are friends too of course. Nothing more.” Bernie waves off the notion.

  
They all turn to look at the door when someone knocks.

  
Serena peeks her head around the door. “Sorry, I know I promised not to –”

  
“Ah. Here. Now. See. Serena, you can tell them.” Bernie ignores her two kids shaking their heads vehemently at her. “My two were under the false impression that we were dating.” Then Bernie adds rather pointlessly “Each other.”

  
Serena’s put-on laugh only echoes the blonde’s from moments ago. They were fooling no one. “Of course not. We’re colleagues. And... and friends obviously.” Serena wishes she could shake the woman, throw herself at her feet, and plead with her to take Serena any way she’ll have her.

  
The two young people look knowingly at each other, the exact same plan forming in both their minds. “Well then, as mum’s _friend_ , we would like to invite you to have dinner with us tonight for her birthday.” Charlotte smiles and waits for the brunette’s response.

  
“I’d love to.” Serena almost chokes, as she spits out the words through gritted teeth. This was going to be disastrous.

  
* * *

  
Serena makes an effort to look good, but she doesn’t want it to seem like she’s made an effort to look good. And by God that is a difficult feat to accomplish. She settles on a black cocktail dress; lace overlay and a black ribbon sash around the middle, to accentuate her waist. She couples it with kitten heels and a pashmina, both in a deep raspberry colour to match her lipstick. As she puts on her jewellery, and makes sure not a hair is out of place, she resolves to make Bernie Wolfe rue the day she’d friend-zoned her. With a final spritz of perfume, she picks up her clutch bag and heads outside to her waiting taxi.

  
“Oh my Christ.” Bernie stands to greet the brunette, when Cam and Lottie tell her Serena has just walked in. She has to clutch onto the top of the back of her chair to keep herself upright, while she tracks Serena’s every move towards them. Surely everyone in the restaurant can hear her heart racing. She unconsciously licks her lips, as she drinks in the brunette’s approaching form.

  
“Still just friends, eh?” She barely registers Cam's remark, because all there is is Serena. It’s like the brunette is moving in slow-motion, and the rest of the world is just a blur.

  
Serena knows she’s having the desired effect, as she adds a little extra sway to her hips on the walk over to the table. Bernie is positively ogling her, with her mouth slightly open and a glazed, hungry look in her eye. And not because of the promise of food either. Serena recognises the heat in her friend’s eyes for what it is: arousal.

  
“Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone. I hope I was worth it.” Serena whispers that last part only to Bernie, as she embraces her and kisses her hello on the cheek.

  
“You definitely are.” It slips out uncensored, as Bernie keeps her arms around Serena’s waist, holding her in place long after the hug was finished. “You look really beautiful, Serena.” Bernie’s thumbs run over the lace of Serena’s dress, just at her hips, and the brunette feels it as keenly as if there were no barrier between her skin and Bernie’s at all.

  
Two cleared throats from Bernie’s children breaks them apart, both with dipped heads and roaring cheeks, as they sit down with the youngsters, and try not to catch each other’s eye.

  
“You look very fetching.” Serena admits after an awkward silence hangs over the pair. Bernie had opted for a black, short-sleeved jumpsuit with a sequined waist and a V-shaped neckline, which did wonders for her toned frame. “Happy Birthday, Bernie.” Serena leans over to kiss her again on the cheek, her touch lingers as she strokes the side of the blonde’s face. 

  
Cam and Lottie just stare at them with a slight shake of their heads. How could two such brilliant women be so completely blind to what was happening between them?

  
“Thank you, Serena.” Bernie captures the brunette’s hand in hers as Serena moves it off the blonde’s face, holding it tight and running her thumb over Serena’s knuckles. The spell is only broken by a waiter bringing them all menus.

  
The rest of the meal passes in companionable chit-chat. The kids tell Serena about what they are doing: Cam was in med school, and Lottie was studying law. Bernie could not be prouder of them, as she listens with a soft look of unconditional love on her face. Serena had worried that she was going behind the blonde’s back by reaching out to her kids. She had also feared that they mightn't want to see Bernie, but watching the three of them now, she is so glad that she’d at least tried. Bernie deserved the world, and if she could give her even a tiny piece, she was content.

  
“Oh my God. Bernie, you have to try this.” Serena scoops up a spoonful of her sticky toffee pudding dessert and feeds it to the blonde.

  
Bernie’s brain finds there are too many things going on at once for her to process. Serena is feeding her from her own spoon, and has her free hand until her chin to hold her there. Bernie moans, but not because of the dessert. “Um... yeah... that’s... um.... yeah.” She says rather inarticulately, and inwardly curses herself and her furious blushes. _Calm. The. Fuck. Down_ , she thinks to herself. She’s suddenly all too aware of the undercurrent of feelings that now comes with every action between them, and it’s slowly killing her.

  
“Right, I think we’ll be off.” Lottie’s voice forces them to look at something other than each other. “We’ve got the bill, mum.”

  
“Oh, no I’ll get this. Having you both here has been my present.” Bernie starts to rummage in her bag for her purse.

  
“Mum, we’ve got it. Really.” Cam assures her. “Walk us out?” He smiles at his mother; he really was glad they’d managed to work everything out.

  
“I’ll be right back.” Bernie squeezes Serena’s shoulder, as she stands up to accompany her children to the door.

  
“Thank you both for such a lovely meal.” Serena smiles, and lets them hug her goodbye.

  
“Look after her for us.” Lottie whispers to just the brunette, and smiles as Serena’s nod her understanding.

  
“Thank you both for today, it’s been wonderful to see you.” Bernie squeezes them tight in turn. “I love you both, more than you know.”

  
“Love you too, mum.” Cam smiles. “Enjoy the rest of your birthday.” He says with a cheeky wink.

  
“Yes, love you mum. Don’t let this one get away. Serena’s great.” Lottie echoes her brother’s sentiment.

  
“She is, isn’t she?” Bernie glances back at the table, and beams when she catches Serena watching them. If she thinks about it, she’s probably been falling for the brunette far longer than she’d cared to admit.

  
“I’m so glad they came.” Serena grins, as she watches Bernie take her seat next to her again.

  
“It’s because of you.” She holds Serena’s gaze; hopes she can see how much this means to her. “This is the best birthday I think I’ve ever had. I don’t know how to thank you, Serena.” Bernie’s eyes are a little wet from all the emotions swirling inside her. What she wants to do is thank Serena by kissing her. She bridges the tiny space between them, to do what she now sees she’s wanted for some time. They are so close to kissing that Bernie can feel Serena’s warm breath on her lips, but she’s prevented from fully closing the gap by a hand on her shoulder.

  
Blinking rapidly to chase away the haze of desire, she looks up to see just who had so rudely interrupted her, before she could kiss Serena Campbell to within an inch of her life. “Alex? What are you –”

  
“Happy Birthday, stranger.” The other woman drags Bernie to her feet, grabs her face in both hands and kisses her resolutely.

  
The instant Alex’s lips meet hers; Bernie knows this is wrong. She doesn’t want to kiss Alex; she wants to kiss Serena. The younger woman hardly even gets the chance to kiss her at all, before Bernie has instantly pushed her away. “No, Alex.” She wipes at her mouth, trying to remove all traces of the kiss she’d never asked for. It’s then she realises that Serena has gone. She sees the older brunette rushing out the door. “Shit.” Bernie legs it after her. “Serena! Serena, wait! I didn’t –” When she gets outside however, the brunette has vanished.

  
Serena had all but run to the taxi rank around the corner, tears streaking her face, and a hand over her mouth trying to muffle her sobs.


	9. And You Are Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of two. Canon can just go f**k itself!! 😉😁

Serena won’t speak to her, has barely even looked at her, for weeks after her birthday. Bernie had tried to explain that she hadn’t known Alex would show up, much less try and kiss her. She tries to explain that she didn’t want to be with Alex, but Serena isn’t interested in hearing any of it. And so, Bernie has to accept that she’s ruined her chance before she’s even had one...

  
Bernie had given up smoking a while ago, but the habit of heading out to the grounds had stayed with her. A bit of fresh air was needed if she was to spend her days so close to Serena, but so very far away in all the ways that counted. She is leaning up against the wall, with one leg bent at the knee, her foot flat to the brick, when she sees Jason running out into the road. He seems to be agitated, and hasn’t noticed the car speeding towards him.

  
“JASON!” Bernie sprints out into the road, pushing the young man out of the path of the car. She isn’t quick enough to get herself out of danger however, and she ends up on the bonnet of the car, hitting her head on the windscreen with a dull crack. The momentum has her falling back onto the road in front of the car, sprawled on the ground, with a searing pain in her side. She clutches at her ribs, sure that she quite possibly has, at least, fractured one or two. Her head is throbbing, and there is blood dripping into her eyes.

  
“BERNIE!!” Serena had seen the whole thing, as she had gone after Jason, trying to calm him. “Oh my God, Bernie!!” Serena kneels to check her over. “I need some help here please!! Get a gurney!!” She screams at the nurses who rush to help.

  
“Jason?” Bernie’s only concern is for the young man, and Serena loves her even more in that moment.

  
“He’s fine.” Serena cups her hand to Bernie’s cheek, and fights not to cry at this amazing, brave woman who always put everyone else’s needs above her own.

  
“That’s good.” Bernie smiles, relieved, and that is the last thing she remembers before she loses consciousness.

  
* * *

  
“It looks worse than it is.” Serena reassures, when she sees the blonde’s children’s terrified faces at the sight of their mother lying in the hospital bed. “She’s bruised a few ribs, and we had to stitch a pretty nasty head wound. Her old cervical injury has been exacerbated a little, but there should be no lasting damage."

  
“When will she wake up?” Lottie sits beside Bernie to hold her hand.

  
“There was a little swelling around the head injury, but it’s nothing to be alarmed over. Once that eases, in the next few hours, she’ll wake up.” Serena promises.

  
“What happened?” Cam sits on the other side of the bed.

  
“She was hit by a car... saving... Jason...” Serena covers her mouth with her hand, and gasps in a few short breaths. She hadn’t stopped to think about how Bernie had put herself at risk for her nephew. How easily she could have lost one or both of them today.

  
“Hey, it’s alright. Like you said, she’s going to be fine. Is Jason alright?” Lottie stands to hug the older woman.

  
“Yes, he has only a few small abrasions, he scraped his hands and knees a little when he fell, from Bernie pushing him to the side of the road. This is all my fault. I tried to change his routine without warning, I should know better –” Serena only cries harder at that.

  
“No, Serena. This was an accident. And I know, if mum was awake, she’d say better her than Jason.” Cam knows the blonde would sacrifice just about anything to save a life. He’s just relieved it hadn’t cost her her own.

  
“Oh God. Alex. I forgot to call her.” Serena puts her hand over her eyes, in all the chaos she hadn’t thought to inform the other woman.

  
“What? Why would Alex need to know?” Lottie holds Serena at arm’s length, looking at her like maybe she was the one with the head injury.

  
“You two are listed as next of kin, but if she’s your mum’s partner then –” 

  
“Mum’s _what_?” First Cam had heard of it, apparently.

  
Serena looks between the two faces; she’s sure she must be missing something, as they both start to laugh. “Will one of you tell me what the hell is going on?” Serena was in no mood for this.

  
“Sorry. Sorry, Serena.” Lottie tries to get her breath back. “Alex isn’t mum’s anything. Didn’t she tell you?” Judging by the look on the brunette’s face, Lottie has to assume that her mum did not. “Um... well... Mum told us what happened at her birthday dinner. She had no idea Alex would be there, even less that she wanted to reconcile. They hadn’t seen each other in months. Mum said no.”

  
Serena listens, stunned. “What?”

  
“Yep.” Cam confirm his sister’s version. “She said she went after you that night, but you’d already gone. She really didn’t say anything?” Even he knows his mother isn’t quite that uncommunicative.

  
Serena casts her mind back to all the times Bernie had tried to tell her something recently. _Oh bollocks_. “I think I’ve messed up.” She casts her eyes between Bernie’s kids, who are nodding emphatically at her.

  
* * *

  
Bernie wakes with a jump, grabbing at the wrist of whoever had touched her. A hang over from her army reflexes probably. She is faced with Serena, who is looking down at her, with a soft smile gracing her lips.

  
“Serena? What –” It all comes flooding back to her. “Jason! Where’s Jason? Is he alright?” Bernie tries to sit up, to go searching for him. The pain in her side makes her think twice, and she gets a bit woozy from the head wound. “Shouldn’t have moved.” She scrunches her face in agony.

  
“Rest. Jason is perfectly fine.” Serena brushes the blonde’s curls off her forehead, and Bernie learns first-hand how someone’s touch can be a very effective painkiller.

  
“Hm, that feels nice.” She relaxes again under the brunette’s touch.

  
“You saved Jason.” Serena looks at her with wonder.

  
“Anyone would do the same. I was just the fastest one.” Bernie smiles and closes her eyes; Serena’s strokes were making her sleepy. She yawns, and is almost drifting off, when a thought strikes her. “How long was I out?”

  
“Only a couple of hours. Cam and Lottie came by, I told them I’d call if anything changed.” Serena hushes her, she needed to rest.

  
“Were you here all that time?” Bernie looks apologetic as Serena nods. “I’m keeping you from the ward. From going home with Jason.”

  
“Jason is staying with Alan, he had it all arranged, before I put a spanner in the works. That’s why he was so upset that he –” Serena feels emotional again, but tries to shake it off. “And the ward can wait. I’m exactly where I should be.” She bends to kiss Bernie’s forehead. “Thank you for saving Jason.”

  
“Had to. He’s important to you. You’re important to me.” Bernie shrugs as if it’s obvious, before drifting back to sleep.

  
* * *

  
Once Bernie is fit and well, and back to work again, Serena wants to tell her that she has feelings for her that aren't strictly friendly, but she can’t seem to find the words.

  
“You free for lunch?” Bernie smiles over her computer at the brunette, one day in the office.

  
“Not today.” Serena isn’t sure how to act around the blonde anymore. She wanted to spend time with her like they always had, but things had been different for her, now that she might just be falling in love with Bernie.

  
“Everything ok?” Bernie had noticed something was off with Serena, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  
“Yes.” Serena lies, her smile tight and unnatural.

  
“Serena?” Bernie raises an eyebrow; she wasn’t fooling anyone. “Talk to me. Please.”

  
_Trust her to use my own words against me_ , Serena thinks.

  
“I can’t do lunch, but why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Jason’s away, so otherwise I’ll be all on my lonesome.” Serena needs this all out in the open, so that she knows where she stands.

  
“Alright.” Bernie smiles, gladly accepting the offer. “Then you can tell me what’s bothering you.” Bernie waggles her finger at the brunette, before heading out to answer the red phone.

  
Serena is skittish for the rest of the shift; she flinches when Bernie touches her, and she scurries out of any room the blonde enters. Bernie thinks she might know what was worrying Serena: _she’s figured out that you have feelings for her, and now she can’t even look at you_. Bernie isn’t sure she wants to go to Serena’s for dinner anymore, but she had already said she would.

  
Serena was dying a slow, agonising death. _Had Bernie always touched her this much? Had she always looked at her that way?_ She was avoiding her, simply to prevent herself from throwing herself into the blonde’s arms, and kissing her until neither of them could breathe. That would have to wait, at least until she had talked to the woman first.

  
* * *

  
Bernie is right on time, as she glances down at her watch, and moves anxiously from foot to foot on Serena’s doorstep. She sucks in a few steadying breaths, which do absolutely nothing to settle her. _Let’s get this over with_. She pushes Serena’s doorbell, and tries to fortify herself for the inevitable.

  
“Bernie!” Serena looked pleased to see her at least, maybe she’d get through this after all. “Come in.” The brunette cocks her head towards the interior. “Don’t you look spiffy!” _Spiffy?! Jesus Christ, Serena what are you going on about?!_ The brunette internally berates herself. The blonde was wearing her signature sinfully tight black skinny jeans, and black boots, coupled with a charcoal blouse and a dark green blazer.

  
“Uh... thanks...” Bernie watches a myriad of emotions cross Serena’s face, and wonders if she’s alright. “I brought this.” She holds out a bottle of Shiraz to the brunette.

  
“Oh how lovely!” _Why was Serena talking so loudly?_

  
“You look... um... spiffy, was it, too?” Bernie is teasing her, and Serena relaxes a little as she chuckles with the blonde.

  
_It’s all going to be fine. It’s Bernie. Just my Bernie_ , Serena tries to centre herself, to keep her emotions in check.

  
Bernie follows Serena into the kitchen, and watches her pour them two glasses of the wine she’d just given her. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

  
Serena spins to give the blonde her glass, not realising that Bernie had moved closer. _Much_ closer. The sudden proximity startles her, and the glass slips from her grasp. It takes a few moments for Serena to even register that she’d drop it, as she’s too busy staring at the blonde, and trying to regulate her heart rate and breathing.

  
“Let me get that for you.” Bernie knows where everything is, so she swiftly dries up the wine with kitchen roll, and uses the dustpan and brush to sweep up the broken pieces of glass.

  
All Serena can do is stare wide-eyed at the blonde on her knees in front of her, her face basically level with Serena’s... 

  
_While you're down there..._ She thinks, and then moans out, as she leans back, gripping the edges of her worktop so tightly that her knuckles ache. Now all she can think of is Bernie using her mouth to bring her hurtling towards an earthshattering orgasm, and she squeezes her eyes (and her thighs) tight shut trying to get a hold of herself.

  
“Serena?” Bernie places everything in the bin by the door. Then she is studying her, concern etched on every line on her face. “Are you ok?”

  
Serena reluctantly opens her eyes, and Bernie gasps when she sees that they are black as coal, there’s no denying the cause.

  
The last of Serena’s restraint dissolves entirely, as she grabs the lapel of the blonde’s blazer and drags her in. She kisses her with such force, that Bernie staggers backwards a step, and it takes her a minute to start reciprocating. But then she does, and Serena is lifted the few centimetres on to the counter top, Bernie’s mouth still on hers.

  
“Oh, Bernie. I’ve wanted this for so long.” Serena breathes out the admission on a sigh, as the blonde’s mouth remains torturously close.

  
Bernie’s eyes flit up to Serena’s, checking that she really has permission to do this. Her answer comes in the form of Serena kissing her again, and almost ripping her blazer from her body. 

  
Then Serena is unbuttoning the blonde’s blouse, and Bernie’s head spins. She has so much more of Serena than she’d ever dared hope for, and she doesn’t know what to do next. 

  
She feels her stomach clench with arousal, when Serena’s lips move to the skin underneath the buttons she’d just undone. And then a groan escapes her when Serena stops, as the brunette leans up to look at her again. If she’s going to keep looking at her like that, Bernie might just tear off all of Serena’s clothes, and have her right here.

  
She settles instead for pulling Serena’s top off over her head, and pushing her bra out of the way, her mouth latching on to Serena’s waiting nipple.

  
“Oh God. Bernie. Yes. More.” The blonde smiles, and tugs on the nipple with her teeth. _Serena was a talker during sex then._ “Again. Please. Do that again.” Serena knows she’s begging, but she’s never felt this good before. Her eyes are blazing, and she looks gorgeous in her current state. “Take me to bed. Now. I want our first time to be in my bed. We can revisit the kitchen later.” Serena slides off the counter, and rearranges herself.

  
Bernie reels at the thought that there would be other times after this. Lifting the brunette, she encourages her to wrap her legs around her waist, and they kiss all the way upstairs. “Which one?” Bernie asks around Serena’s mouth.

  
Serena waves her hand behind her to the first door on the right, she’s not giving up Bernie’s lips for anything. She has to though, when Bernie lays her on the bed and starts stripping her. Serena is desperate for Bernie to touch her, as the final item of her clothing is removed, but she has to wait as she watches Bernie undress first.

  
“You’re gorgeous.” She sits up to lace her fingers with Bernie’s, and gently bring her down on top of her. At the first press of their bodies together, Serena knows she wants this, arguably more than she’s ever wanted anything.

  
“You are so beautiful.” Bernie traces Serena’s jaw with the very tips of her fingers, and bends down to join their mouths again.

  
“Bernie. Wait.” Serena places a hand on the blonde’s chest, to pause things for a moment.

  
Bernie thinks Serena has changed her mind, and she looks devastated, as she starts to climb off the woman underneath her. “I thought you wanted...” She turns her head, she can no longer look at Serena, as she says quietly, “I’ll go.”

  
“No! I don’t want to stop. It’s not that. I just...” Serena pulls her back down to lie beside her. “...I need to tell you something.” She has to clear the air, so that there can be no misunderstanding of how much she wants Bernie.

  
“Ok. What is it?” Bernie takes Serena’s hand, and kisses the back softly.

  
“I’m sorry that I’ve been acting so strangely lately. It’s just new to me, to have feelings for a woman. I was a little bit terrified, to be honest. But I want this. You, I mean. I want to try, because I can’t imagine not having you in my life. I know I got the Alex situation all wrong – Cam and Lottie filled me in – and I pushed you away, instead of just talking to you. I was so upset when I thought that you and she were... it made me realise that I wanted to be more than friends with you.”

  
“I didn’t know Alex was going to show up on my birthday. I don’t want you to think that I planned it... I would never want to hurt or humiliate you like that. She wanted to try again, but I just couldn’t, because of how I knew I felt about you. I tried to go after you. I’d so wanted to kiss you that night.”

  
“We’re here now. That’s all that matters.” Serena reaches for her again, revelling in how perfectly their bodies slot together, as they hold each other close. She knows she’ll never tire of kissing Bernie; it was beyond fabulous. But she can’t help thinking back to earlier daydream, and where else Bernie could put her gorgeous mouth.

  
As if reading her thoughts, Bernie gently pushes her to lie on her back, and begins trailing her lips over other parts of Serena. She is captivated by Serena breasts, enjoying gently caressing and kissing, before using her hands, and her mouth, to softly pinch and nip and tug. She is rewarded with a string of encouragements from the brunette.

  
“Oh yes. Bernie. Oh fuck. That’s... oh...” Serena feels like she’s tingling all over, every nerve ending in her entire body hypersensitive to each of the blonde’s actions. “I –” She bites her lip, and quickly closes her eyes, not sure if she will offend the other woman by asking for what she really wants.

  
“Serena, look at me.” Bernie kneels over the brunette so that she can see her. Once Serena opens her eyes again, the blonde continues. “If you want to tell me how to touch you, then you absolutely can. Don’t censor yourself on my account. I love hearing you. Ok?” Her words soothe the brunette. It was as if she could sense Serena’s thoughts somehow. “You can ask me for anything.” Bernie knows she would give it to her.

  
“I want... I...” Serena flails slightly, until she sees the sincerity in the blonde’s eyes, giving her the courage to speak. “Your mouth. On me. Please.” 

  
Bernie smiles and kisses her. “That can be arranged. I’d love nothing more than to taste you.” She noses into Serena’s neck, and whispers to her. Serena moans at the images conjured in her brain. “Keep talking to me, if you want to.” Bernie pecks her gently on the mouth, and then sets her sights a tad lower.

  
Serena rests her cheek on her own shoulder, she wants to see Bernie, to be able to watch her give Serena what she’d practically begged for. And she was more than willing to give Bernie what she’d asked for. _Keeping talking to me._

  
“Bernie, oh...” She falters a bit as the first swipe of the blonde’s tongue robs her of speech. “Fuck! I... yes...” She scissors both hands through Bernie’s hair, holding on for dear life, as the blonde kisses and licks and sucks her towards oblivion. “You’re... uh... you’re bloody good at this...” Serena huffs out a small laugh. “I want... you to... oh God...” Serena can’t believe she’s about to say this, and if it was anyone else, she knows she would never dream of it. “Bernie, I want you to fuck me with your tongue. Please.” She shocks herself, she can’t ever remember being so vocal, so brazen.

  
Bernie gives her hip a reassuring squeeze, to let her know she’s heard her, and to let her know it’s sexy beyond all belief and reason to hear Serena be so sure of how she wants Bernie to take her. “Your wish is my command.” She smiles, and makes sure to hold eye contact with Serena, as her mouth moves to grant her request.

  
Serena’s toes immediately start to curl and she cries out, louder than she’s ever been, when Bernie’s tongue traces around her entrance, before dipping inside. “OHHHHHHHH, oh my God. Bernie. Yes. Oh yes. Please. Yes.” Serena is beside herself with how _amazing_ Bernie is at this. Her hips rise and fall in time with the blonde’s efforts, so she is effectively riding Bernie’s tongue. Her eyes lose focus, and a white light flashes across her vision, as she gets closer and closer to her orgasm. “More. Harder. Please. Bernie.” Serena is painfully close, but not quite there yet. “My clit. Pleeeeease.” She knows what she needs to finish her off.

  
Bernie has figured out what Serena needs, even before the brunette knows. Her mouth clamps around the brunette’s clit before Serena gets the whole request out. She sucks on it intermittently, and traces unpredictable patterns with her tongue. She can tell that Serena is almost there, by the way her thighs clench and relax around Bernie’s head, and how she is trembling all over. Bernie is totally in awe of how she is responsible for reducing the brunette to a quivering wreck.

  
“Yes... that’s... oh yes... Bernie... don’t stop... I’m...” She never gets the chance to tell Bernie that she’s about to come, all she can do is surrender herself to it. Her body arches off the bed like a bow, her hands fist in the sheets, and pure, undiluted pleasure rushes in her veins. “Bernie...that was...” Apparently, Bernie isn’t finished with her though, as she works Serena back up once more. “Oh, I’m coming again... Bernie...” Serena keeps her eyes trained on the blonde between her legs, as she loses herself in the sensation. “You are amazing.” Serena flops down on to the bed, her arm over her eyes, trying to breathe again. “Come back up here.” She reaches out her free hand, and pulls the blonde up beside her. “I’ve wanted you for so long.” Serena curls herself in to the blonde, as a wave of emotion threatens to drown her. “I should have told you.”

  
“You have now.” Bernie holds her as close as she can, drawing soothing shapes with her fingertips on Serena’s bare waist. “I’ve wanted you too, Serena. More than you know.” She kisses Serena’s forehead softly and runs her fingers through the brunette’s hair.

  
“I think I know now, after that performance.” Serena pushes herself up on her elbow to look down at the blonde’s gorgeous face. She smiles as she moves in to kiss Bernie passionately, ready to make her forget everything but Serena’s name. “How do you want me to...?” She asks the rest with her eyes.

  
Bernie kisses her and then takes the brunette’s hand in her own, slowly guiding it down her body, and in between her legs. Her eyes slam shut and her body arches into the brunette’s fingers when Serena touches her.

“Serena...” Her hand stays over the brunette’s, gently showing her what she wants, before moving away to let Serena continue. “Oh God... that’s perfect... Serena... please... I won’t last long...” Bernie hides her face in the crook of Serena’s neck, breathing her in as she gives herself over to the other woman.

  
Serena is left speechless, as the normally reticent trauma consultant makes all manner of delicious noises to convey her enjoyment, and whispers pleas and words of love. “You’re so wet.” Serena can’t quite believe that she had caused the blonde to be this ready.

  
“I know. This is what you do to me, Serena.” Bernie is so close now; she thinks she might pass out from the pleasure. She gently tugs on the brunette’s hair to signal that she wants to kiss her, as Serena works her up, until she is teetering on the precipice of what she knows will probably be one of the most fantastic orgasms of her life. “Serena.... I’m so close... I need you. Please.” Her breathing is ragged and every part of her body is pulled taut as she begins to tremble under the brunette’s touches. Serena covers one firm nipple with her mouth, teeth pulling at it softly, and sucking it as she feels Bernie start to flutter against her hand. The blonde’s fingers close around the back of Serena’s head to hold her there and she finally lets go. “Oh yes, Serena!!” Bernie gasps in a breath as she falls over the edge, her mouth opens in a perfect ‘o’ shape as she closes her eyes, and feels all the tension leave her as quickly as it had come. “Serena...” She struggles with herself as she tries not to cry, a strangled sob slipping out.

  
“Bernie? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Serena holds her face in her hands, nothing but soft concern in her eyes, as the blonde shakes her head. She wasn’t hurt, just completely overwhelmed.

  
“That was incredible. I’ve never... it’s never felt like that before.” Bernie pulls Serena on top of her to kiss her soundly. 

  
They stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time, just holding each other and kissing at their leisure, Serena straddling the blonde and Bernie’s hands on her hips, gripping her gently.

  
At some point, their kisses become more urgent and they make love all over again. Once they are sated and spent, lying side by side, facing each other and clinging to one another, bodies a little slick with perspiration, Bernie has to get something off her chest.

  
“This is not how I envisaged tonight going.” She smiles, deliriously happy that they’d ended up here. “There was something I needed to tell you, before we...” She raises her eyebrows with a heated stare to finish the thought.

  
“What was it?” Serena cups the blonde’s face in both hands, kissing her tenderly.

  
“I was summoned to Hanssen's office at the end of my shift this evening. He offered me a secondment. It’s in the Ukraine. Kiev. For 8 weeks. Setting up a new, state of the art trauma unit.” Bernie explains, as Serena’s face twists in agony, a stricken look clouds her features.

  
“Did you accept?” She doesn’t want to hear the answer, but she has to know. A single tear escapes and slides slowly down her cheeks, Bernie wipes at it softly with her thumb.

  
“You... we... hadn’t been getting along very well since my birthday. I thought maybe we were coming back on track since I got hit by the car... and then earlier today you seem to start every time I touched you, and you kept running off every time I entered a room. I thought maybe you’d figured out that I had feelings for you, and you didn’t know how to let me down gently. I thought it might be for the best if I wasn’t here for a while. But when it came to it –”

  
“I don’t want you to go.”

  
“I turned it down.”

  
They both speak at once, and then grin like giddy fools.

  
“You don’t?”

  
“You did?”

  
When Bernie nods that indeed she did tell Hanssen that she couldn’t leave, she hopes she hasn’t been presumptuous in assuming that what happened between them tonight would lead to more.

  
“Is it ok that I did? I couldn’t imagine not seeing you for that long. And it's not because I was expecting anything to happen, if you just wanted to be friends then I’d be willing to –” She doesn’t finish the sentence, as Serena swallows the words in a searing kiss.

  
“I don’t know about you, but I definitely don’t do what we just did with my friends. And I would very much like for it to happen again.” Serena tickles her fingertips down Bernie’s body, signalling that she’d very much like for it to happen again now. As her hand finds the apex of the blonde’s thighs, she notes with some satisfaction that Bernie appears to very much want the same thing.


	10. Made For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another little thing I've written. Hope you like it...

“Will you be my maid of honour?” Serena puts it to her best friend, Bernie Wolfe.

  
The other woman feels the world tilt on its axis. She feels like she’s hanging upside down, or like all the blood in her body drains, and it leaves her feeling horribly faint. Serena wanted her to be her maid of honour. Serena, her best friend, wanted her to be her maid of honour. Serena, who she’d been in love with since practically the first day they'd met, wanted her to be her maid of honour. 

  
Bernie feels bile rise into her throat, as she begs the universe to not let her throw up right now. She clutches the nearest thing, her office chair, and is sure she’s having a heart attack. Or at the very least another one of her panic attacks, as she cannot seem to get air to move in and out of her lungs. _Please stay conscious. Please stay conscious_. It becomes her mantra, as she sits heavily in the chair, her legs no longer seem to be working.

  
“Bernie? Are you alright?” Serena sounds like she’s miles away, but apparently, she’s right in front of her, with Bernie’s face in both hands, willing the blonde to breathe. She counts out the seconds for Bernie, and mimics the breathing pattern she wants the blonde to adopt in order to keep her calm. “You’re ok. It’s just us. You’re safe. I’m here. We’re just at work and everything is ok.”

  
Bernie makes a noise that’s half sob, half wretch at that. _Everything was definitely not ok._ She hadn’t even known that things were that serious with Serena’s boyfriend. _Her fiancé now_. That sets Bernie off again, gulping and gasping, certain she was dying. 

  
“Look at me.” Serena commands, and she smiles when Bernie does as she’s told. “You’re safe. You are not going to die. Just breathe.” She pulls the blonde up out of her chair, and wraps her arms around her. This usually made Bernie feel better, and she’s relieved to note the blonde’s breathing start to normalise, as Bernie moves her arms to reciprocate the embrace. “Another panic attack, huh? What triggered this one?” She leans back a little to look at Bernie.

  
“Dunno.” Bernie lies, she could hardly tell Serena, could she? She steps out of the hold, being in Serena’s arms calmed her to a point, but it also made her long for her in ways that made her heart psychically ache. “Should get back to work.” Bernie indicates the ward waiting on the other side of the office door.

  
“You didn’t answer me.” Serena makes her freeze, hand poised on the handle. “Will you be my maid of honour?”

  
“Doesn’t the maid of honour have to be married or something?” Bernie needs an excuse, _any excuse_ , to get out of this.

  
“Traditionally, I suppose so. But I thought we might be a bit old for bridesmaids. Although Fleur has unilaterally made herself chief bridesmaid, so it would just be the two of you...” Serena looks at the floor, trying not to be disappointed that Bernie might say ‘no.’

  
Bernie knows she can’t refuse the brunette much of anything. Her resolve to turn down the offer dies in her throat when Serena looks back up at her. “I’d be honoured.” Bernie tries to make a pun, cover her agony.

  
Serena rolls her eyes and chuckles in spite of herself. “Thank you.”

  
“Hm.” The blonde nods curtly and rushes out the door.

  
* * *

  
“So, you’re getting married.” Bernie rather dumbly observes once they’re heading home for the evening.

  
“What was your first clue?” Serena teases, as she grabs her coat off the stand behind the door.

  
“I didn’t realise that things were heading in that direction for you and Robbie.” Bernie had never liked the man; he wasn’t good enough for Serena.

  
“We discussed it and agreed in was the sensible next step.” Serena wraps her scarf around her neck and tucks the ends inside her coat.

  
“Discussed? Agreed? _Sensible?_ ” Bernie parrots, thinking that’s the most unromantic thing she’s ever heard. “Did he even propose properly?” Bernie thinks if she were in a position to be getting married to the brunette, she would shout it from rooftops and organise the most romantic proposal she could.

  
“There wasn’t a proposal as such. He didn’t even have a ring.” Serena shrugs off the notion.

 _What an utter pillock_ , Bernie thinks. “You love each other though, right?” Bernie has no idea why she asks that; she doesn’t want to hear Serena says that she loved someone else.

  
“Of course.” Serena’s voice is strained, uncertain.

  
“That’s all that matters then.” Bernie offers her a small closed-mouthed smile. “What does one have to do as maid of honour exactly?”

  
“Oh... um... the usual stuff. Help with the arrangements, dress shopping, hen party... That kind of thing.” Serena waves away the question, there would be plenty of time for all that.

  
“When’s the big day?” Bernie turns up the collar of her coat in preparation, it was bitter cold when she’d come in this morning.

  
“Three weeks from Saturday.” Serena holds the door open, and lets the blonde through first.

  
“Blimey, that’s quick!” Bernie hadn’t even heard anything about Serena wanting to get married, never mind in three weeks.

  
“Well, it’s what we both want...” Serena isn’t, strictly speaking, sure that’s true, but she was too old to want to spend the rest of her life on the shelf, as it were.

  
“Albies?” Bernie puts it to her as they wait for the lift. “Call it my first official act as maid of honour: celebratory drinks.” She smiles at the brunette, but not all the way, not convinced there was much to celebrate.

  
“Go on then. You twisted my arm.” Serena bumps elbows with the blonde.

  
Bernie laughs at that. “I’ve never had to do much persuading where Shiraz is involved.” Serena nods and laughs along with her, as the lift doors close.

  
* * *

  
“Here’s to your impending nuptials.” Bernie raises her whisky glass and clinks it against Serena’s wineglass. “If you’re happy, I am too.” She takes a quick sip to cover her blushes a little at her off the cuff declaration, sighing appreciatively at the taste as she sets her glass back down.

  
“Thank you, Bernie.” Serena had never had such an unfaltering and fierce friend as the blonde trauma surgeon before. She presses a lingering kiss to the blonde’s cheek, and tries to ignore the heat of Bernie's skin under her lips, as the blonde flushes even more furiously at the touch.

  
“So, when are my services next required?” Bernie hopes her involvement will be swift and seldom, if only so she might survive watching the brunette marry someone else.

  
“There’s not much to do. Town Hall is booked. Only a few guests. Reception will be small, at that little Italian place that we sometimes go to.”

 _Great_ , Bernie thinks, _one more of the places she wouldn’t be able to go without thinking of Serena getting married_.

“I’m going to go dress hunting this weekend, and I’d love for you to come with me. Fleur will meet us there.” Spending the day with the brunette in various stages of undress, and having to pretend to enjoy clothes shopping, was not what Bernie had planned for her Saturday. “And of course, a little hen soirée.”

  
“Sounds like I’ll have my work cut out for me.” Bernie is sure this whole thing will be the death of her, but she’d do anything to make Serena happy.

  
* * *

  
Bernie is trapped, simultaneously in heaven and hell. Dress shopping with Serena was giving her countless reminders of how beautiful the brunette was, and unfortunately of how she would never think of Bernie as anything other than her very best friend.

  
“Zip me up please.” Serena tilts her head towards the back of this latest dress. Bernie wonders vaguely if a trauma surgeon’s hands should ever be this unsteady, as she struggles with the blasted zip. It’s a wonder any of her operations had ever been a success with hands this shaky.

Even after she’s moved them away, she has to stuff them in her pockets, so no one will notice them trembling. “I think this might be the one.” Serena twists to look over her own shoulder, so she can see the back of the dress in the full-length mirror of the changing room. “What do you think?” She catches Bernie’s eye in the reflection, and wonders what her expression means. She seems miles away, but she’s definitely looking at Serena in the dress.

  
_Wow_. Bernie knows she’s never seen anyone look more gorgeous in her whole life. Serena’s dress is floor-length and fitted, in a dark ivory colour. The body is mostly satin with a chiffon overlay, thin ivory straps and a cinched waist. The cowl neckline does unspeakable things to Bernie’s desire-addled brain, as it shows just a hint of cleavage, without being inappropriate. 

  
The promise of perfect curves is more than enough to set her fantasies racing. “Yep.” She squeaks out the word, clearing her throat to try again. “That’s the one.” _Very much the one_. Bernie looks Serena over once more, and can’t for the life of her figure out why she’d agreed to do this. 

  
She ducks back inside her own fitting room and pulls the curtain tight. She could not let Serena see her cry, as she looks to the ceiling for inspiration on how to get through this without breaking her own heart. None comes, and she sucks in a shuddering breath and closes her eyes, trying to stem the rush of tears threatening to fall.

  
“Bernie?” Serena’s voice makes her jump, as she opens her eyes again. “Are you alright in there?”

  
“Yeah. All good.” Bernie prays that the brunette doesn’t step behind the curtain, or she’ll know something’s wrong.

  
“I picked your dress out, it’s on the hanger. If you don’t like it I can –”

  
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Serena.” The blonde cuts her off. She needed this to be over. Now. “Are we done?” She enquires hopefully.

  
“Well, I was rather hoping to see you in the dress. And Fleur will be here soon to try hers on too.”

  
“Um... ok... just give me a sec...” Bernie fumbles with the dress, trying to get it off the hanger. She swipes at the last remnants of tears, hoping Serena won’t notice. “Could you?” She opens the curtain with her back to the brunette, so she can help her with her zip this time. A gasp escapes before she can stop it when Serena’s hands meet her skin. _Get it together, Wolfe_. With one final deep breath, she shakes off her misery, plasters on a tight smile, and steps out into the changing room.

  
“Serena, I’m heeeeeeeere!” A smaller brunette, about their age, waggles her fingers in a cheeky wave, a dress similar to Bernie’s in her other hand. However, she isn’t holding it high enough off the ground and she steps on the ends, losing her balance and flailing towards the other two women.

  
“Careful!” Bernie’s quick reflexes have her moving towards the other woman before she hits the ground, catching her in mid-air, almost like dipping her in a dance.

  
“Oh my. You’re a strong one, aren’t you?” The petite brunette hardly misses a beat, as she strokes the blonde’s bicep appreciatively. “If you wanted a squeeze, you could have just asked me, gorgeous. I think I might have fallen for you.” She winks seductively at Bernie.

  
Serena coughs and forces the pair to remember she’s there. Bernie rights the other woman, and steps away with her hands clasped behind her.

  
“You... uh... must be Fleur?” Bernie extends her hand again to the woman.

  
“And you are Bernie. Serena never mentioned how _fit_ you are.” Fleur’s eyes rake over the blonde. “Serena, why didn’t you introduce me to this gorgeous creature before?” She steps towards the taller brunette, and kisses her on both cheeks.

  
“Play nice, Fleur.” Serena warns into her ear so Bernie can’t hear.

  
“Don’t I always?” Fleur flutters her eyelashes innocently, as Serena shakes her head. “Is she single?”

  
The question surprises Serena, firstly because she doesn’t actually know, and secondly for reasons she can’t quite grab a hold of. “Um...” Serena feels reluctant to answer, _but why?_ “...as far as I know.”

  
“Serena?” Bernie interrupts the moment by calling out to her friend. “Is this dress ok? I promised Charlotte that I’d meet her for coffee in half an hour. Don’t want to be late.”

  
It’s then that Serena first seems to take in the blonde in the dress. It was a similar cut to her own, but strapless and in a pale pink colour (just like Serena’s favourite coat of Bernie’s). Serena's throat seems to have suddenly gone dry; it’s as if she’s seeing the blonde for the very first time. _She is beautiful_.

  
“I hope Charlotte isn’t your girlfriend.” Fleur actually pouts her disapproval.

  
“Daughter.” Bernie clarifies. “Serena, could you... if you’re happy with the dress?” She spins and lifts her hair out of the way, so the taller brunette might unzip her.

  
Fleur nudges Serena to make her move, she’d just been staring at Bernie, and the smaller brunette offers a pointed nod at the blonde. “Earth to Serena.”

  
“What?” Serena had not been listening, she’d been too busy tracing the blonde’s silhouette in her dress.

  
“I’ll do it.” Fleur tuts, pretending that it was a chore. 

  
“Thanks.” Bernie holds the front of the dress against her to stop it falling off, as she shuffles back into the cubicle. She jumps when Fleur playfully pinches her bum on the way. She catches Serena’s eye with a look that says _where did you find her?_ And Serena offers one of her own in reply that says _I’m sorry._ She knew how much Bernie hated being touched, especially by strangers.

  
Once Bernie has her own clothes back on, she brings the dress back out on the hanger again. “Listen, Serena... let me get the dresses, ok?” She feels bad for being a bit of a downer on the day, and she needed to start at least making it look like she was being an attentive maid of honour.

  
“Oh, no. Bernie, that’s too much.” Serena starts to protest.

  
“Consider it an early wedding gift.” Bernie hugs the bride-to-be and pecks her quickly on the cheek.

  
“Don’t I get one of those?” Fleur almost oozes flirtation, opening her arms for the blonde.

  
“Nice to meet you, Fleur.” The blonde settles for a firm handshake.

  
“Likewise.” Fleur quirks an eyebrow, appraising the blonde from head to toe.

  
Bernie hurries off to pay for the dresses, and then salutes the brunettes as she heads out the door.

  
“Why didn’t you mention that Bernie was absolutely bloody gorgeous?” Fleur says, out of the side of her mouth, as they wave off the blonde.

  
“I don’t think I ever noticed before.” Serena replies quietly, realising that she has most certainly noticed now.

  
* * *

  
They only see each other in passing after that: on the ward, in the office, in theatre. It’s not until Serena’s hen party, the following Saturday, that the two friends really spend time together again.

  
Bernie had organised to hire a function room in the penthouse of one of the best hotels in the city. There was a long table set out for the opulent meal, that Bernie had arranged with the hotel restaurant. There was even a rooftop garden terrace just outside the folding glass doors, which the blonde had done up with outdoor heaters, balloons, fairy lights, and a huge marquee in case the weather didn’t hold.... Serena had never seen anything like it. The view alone was enough to steal her breath.

  
“You did all this for me?” Serena turns to look at the blonde beside her, as they take in the city below.

  
“Fleur helped.” Serena laughs at that. She had it on good authority from Fleur that she had barely lifted a finger. “I wanted it to be perfect for you.” Bernie says a little misty-eyed. “You deserve the best of everything, Serena.” She squeezes her friend’s hand affectionately when the brunette laces her fingers with hers.

  
“Right...” Bernie coughs and pulls away; she might need to keep her distance tonight, just so that she doesn’t give away her feelings. Especially if there would be alcohol, and Serena was looking so beautiful, although she always did. “...hungry?” She holds her arm out to let Serena go ahead of her to the table.

  
The meal is absolutely stunning, as Serena knew it would be. Bernie really had gone to so much trouble, and she knew Serena arguably better than anyone else ever had. The brunette has a full stomach, and a little Shiraz warming her insides, when she catches up with the blonde at the end of dinner.

  
“That was all amazing!” Serena grins and throws her arms around Bernie's neck. “Thank you for tonight.” She kisses the blonde softly on the cheek, stroking the area with her thumb when she moves her lips away.

  
“I’m glad you’re happy.” Bernie returns the grin, all she ever wanted was to make Serena happy.

  
“Oh Beeeernie....” They step apart, as Fleur curls her index finger to call the blonde to her. “Did you know that it’s tradition for the maid of honour and the other bridesmaids to share a kiss on the bride’s hen night? Which means you, and just little, old me.” Fleur neither knew nor cared if there was any such tradition.

  
“Um... I really don’t think that’s a thing –” Bernie looks absolutely terrified as she backs away from the smaller brunette. She stands rigid and unmoving, with her eyes wide, when the diminutive brunette grabs her head in both hands, pulls their faces level, and kisses her soundly. Fleur releases her with a puckering noise as she saunters off with a backwards wink at Bernie.

  
The blonde stands completely stunned for a moment, before heading to the bar and ordering a large whisky, neat. She downs the liquid in one gulp, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, and puts the glass back on the bar.

  
Everyone seems to be thoroughly enjoying the dancing now going on inside, so she decides to get some air on her own outside. Leaning down on her arms against the railings, she doesn’t hear Serena follow her out, until the brunette speaks.

  
“Having fun?” Serena’s tone has an edge to it that Bernie has never heard before. When Bernie doesn’t turn to look at her, and only shrugs in response, the brunette continues. “You and Fleur seem to be getting on well.” Serena keeps her eyes firmly on the ground, an unexpected jealousy makes her bite out the words.

  
“If you call launching herself at me, and kissing me without warning nor permission ‘getting on well’ then yes, I suppose we are.” Bernie snorts at that.

  
“You kissed her back.” Serena accuses.

  
“Hardly. What does it matter if I did anyway?” Bernie doesn’t know why Serena is so angry at her, but it’s making her own temper flair. She moves to go back inside, before either of them can say things they regret, things they can’t take back.

  
“What’s it like?” Serena blocks her path, and places a hand on the blonde’s chest to keep her there.

  
“What’s what like?” Bernie was not in the mood for riddles. She looks down at Serena’s hand, and then back up a Serena, glaring at her to move her hand away.

  
“Kissing a woman.” Bernie doesn’t know what she’d expected the brunette to say, but that was not it.

  
Maybe it was the whisky. Maybe it was the last of her strength to fight off her feelings for Serena leaving her after all of these months of pining. Bernie shocks them both as she answers. “I could show you, if you like?”

  
Serena eyes are wide for just a moment, but then there is a flash of something that looks like desire, and Bernie thinks she stops breathing.

  
“I’m sorry... I don’t know why I said that...” Bernie feels shame settle over her like a cloud. 

  
Serena fists the hand that was pressed to the blonde’s chest, so that she is grabbing a handful of Bernie’s shirt. “Bernie. Kiss me.” She tilts up her chin ready to let the blonde do just that, their mouths so close that she can almost taste the whisky Bernie had just finished drinking.

  
“I... I can’t... please, Serena... I just can’t...” Bernie shakes her head, tries not to cry.

  
“Don’t you want to?” Serena makes no effort to move away, she knows she’s read the blonde right, and Bernie laughs harshly at the question. “But you could kiss Fleur...” Serena’s eyes are blazing with accusations and hurt.

  
“That’s different.” Bernie’s temper breaks.

  
“Why?” Serena puts her on the spot.

  
“Because I’m not in love with Fleur! Ok? Is that what you want to hear? And I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me!” Bernie knows she has no right to be this angry, but the floodgates are open now. “I can’t kiss you, because if I do, I’m scared I won’t be able to stop. I can’t kiss you, because I know that I’ll want to do more than just kiss you. I can’t...” Bernie knows she’s said too much, could kick herself for it. “... I have to go.”

  
Serena wasn’t having that, so she closes the gap instead. Bernie doesn’t kiss her back right away, and the brunette thinks she’s crossed a line.

She moans into Bernie’s mouth, however, when she feels the blonde kiss her back with force. Then she is quite unceremoniously pushed up against a wall, somewhere hidden from the rest of the party. All of a sudden, it’s like a light bulb goes on in Bernie’s mind. She can kiss Serena. She can touch Serena. After all this time of denying herself the one thing she wants more than she can remember ever wanting anything...

  
She can’t stop herself from devouring the brunette's mouth with her own right here against the wall. When Serena’s fingers slip into her curls and she presses her lips harder onto Bernie’s, the blonde matches her all the way, thoroughly enjoying the surprised squeak that comes out of Serena, at the first swipe of the blonde’s tongue along her bottom lip. She willing parts her lips to allow access, and oh God if the feeling of their tongues fighting for dominance isn’t the most sensual thing Serena has ever experienced.

  
They part only for air and Serena is left feeling bereft when Bernie’s lips leave hers. “Bernie. Don’t stop. Please.” The blonde swallows the plea in another deep kiss, as her hands roam over the brunette’s body.

  
Now she’s said it, she can’t stop herself from whispering it over and over. “I love you, Serena. I love you so much.” The brunette’s legs fail her, as the blonde kisses a trail of fire across her throat. “I’ve loved you for so long.” She rests her forehead against Serena’s, and then lets the brunette kiss her again over and over.

  
There is a possessiveness to Serena’s kisses. She wasn’t about to admit it to herself, but seeing Fleur kiss Bernie had sparked an unspeakable, and completely irrational jealousy, which consumes her from the inside, and she _needs_ to claim the blonde’s lips as her own.

  
Once they’re done kissing, Serena’s breathing is so harsh, her body is so flushed, she feels so completely _snogged_ , that she just can’t stop herself from smiling. Her face aches with it; but she doesn’t care. “That was incredible. Oh Bernie.” Serena kisses her more softly this time.

  
The spell is broken as quickly as it was cast, as Bernie takes stock of the brunette’s current state: thoroughly kissed mouth, a telling pink flush to her skin, hair a little mussed from Bernie’s fingers, her chest is heaving underneath her blouse. “Oh God, what have I done?” She covers her mouth as a sob slips out. “Serena... I’m so sorry... I shouldn’t have... oh God...” She rubs at her face with her hand, moving away from Serena and pacing, trying to get her thoughts in order. “I’ll ask for a transfer. You’ll never have to see me again. I won’t contact you. I’m so sorry... I don’t know what happened... I...” 

  
Words leave her, as tears spill unbidden from her eyes, she’d royally fucked up. “You won’t hear from me again, I promise. I’m so sorry, Serena. Jesus, you’re getting married next week! What was I thinking? I wasn’t.... obviously, obviously I won’t come to the wedding.”

Serena stands just staring at her, partly because she couldn’t believe that she’d just been kissed like that. She touches two fingertips to her lips, which are still tingling, to discover that she really has. Partly because she couldn’t believe what she was now hearing, and partly because she doesn’t think she’s ever heard Bernie say so many words at once before. And then she’s gone, running out on Serena when she’s just given her the best kisses of her life.

  
And true to her word, she’s gone from their office, and Serena’s life too it seems, on the Monday. Serena finds out from Fletch, who found out from Raf, that the trauma surgeon was temporarily helping out in the ED.

  
“Serena.” Bernie hadn’t been expecting to ever see the brunette again, and she hangs her head, ashamed of what she’d done the last time she'd seen Serena. “It’s not permanent. I’ll be moving to another hospital as soon as my notice is worked. After that, I’ve been offered a new commission with the RAMC, starting in six months. So, you see, you won’t have to worry about us bumping into each other for too much longer. I’m so sorry for everything that happened... at the hen party. I wish you and Robbie a lifetime of happiness.” She’s almost glad for the emergency that comes through the doors, as it takes her away from Serena.

  
* * *

  
“Are you sure about this, Serena?” Fleur notes the uncertainty in her friend’s eyes as they share a few glasses of Shiraz at Serena’s home, a couple of nights before the wedding.

  
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Serena replies defiantly.

  
“Because you don’t love him. You love Bernie. And she loves you.” Fleur counters.

  
“I...” Serena doesn’t even know how Fleur knows that; she blinks in surprise.

  
“Don’t try to deny it. I saw it with my own eyes. That’s why I’ve been an outrageous flirt with her. And why she’s not one bit interested in me. Or anyone else for that matter. I kissed her at your hen because I figured that might make jealousy rear its head, and you’d realise that you couldn’t stand the thought of her with anyone else. And don’t think I don’t know what happened between you two at the hen party either.”

Even when Serena raises her eyebrows almost into her hairline in shock, Fleur keeps going.

“She told you she loved you. And what did you do? You let her kiss you senseless, and then you let her go. And she left, probably because she thought that was all you wanted from her. Satisfy a curiosity. She even apologised to you, when I think we both know, you wanted it as much as her. Now she’s said she will leave for good, and still you've said nothing. _Done nothing_. She’s letting you marry someone else, even though she’s in love with you, because she only wants you to be happy. Even if it’s not with her. Have you for a solitary second considered her in any of this?” Fleur lays it all out for the other brunette. “Serena Wendy Campbell, if you don’t go to her right this instant, I will –”

  
But Serena is already heading for the door.

  
“I’ll see myself out. And don’t worry, I’m going to enjoy breaking the news to Robbie.” Fleur grins at just the thought. “Get going!”

  
Serena blows her friend a kiss and darts outside.

  
* * *

  
Bernie feels a pang of guilt as she assesses the weather. Perhaps her mood had caused this heavy rainfall of the last few days, but maybe it would turn clear again on Serena’s wedding day. She stands at her kitchen sink, surveying the landscape, and trying desperately to stop herself from running all the way to Serena’s house, rain be damned, and begging Serena not to marry Robbie. 

  
She closes her eyes and breathes deeply through her nose, willing her heart not to ruin Serena’s chance of happily ever after. Her doorbell sounds, dragging her back to the present. It was probably the moving van for some of the stuff she’d arrange to go on ahead of her departure. However, when she opens the door, it is most definitely not the movers.

  
“Serena? What are you...” Bernie notes the brunette is soaked to the skin, _had she come all the way here in that rain?_ “You’re getting married on Saturday. You can’t be catching your death in this weather. Come on, I’ll drive you home and –”

  
“No.” Serena says more loudly than she’d intended.

  
“No?” Bernie doesn’t understand what’s happening. “You better come in then. You’re soaked through. I’ll see if I can find my towels in one of these boxes.” She places her hands on her hips, trying to remember which one they’re in.

  
Serena notices all of the blonde’s belongings packed in boxes in her hall. “You’re leaving.” _She was too late_.

  
“What tipped you off?” Bernie rummages in the first box. “Aha! Here we are.” She hands one up to the brunette. “I told you I’d be transferring. Manchester. And then Somalia.”

  
“Oh.” Is all Serena can say.

  
“The movers will be here soon. I can’t offer you tea or anything because everything is...” She holds out her hand at the boxes beside her. “What did he do?”

  
“Who?” Serena dries what she can with the towel.

  
“Robbie.” Bernie says it like it’s obvious. “I assume that’s why you’re here, two days before your wedding. I really don’t have time for all your drama today.”

  
Serena had never heard the blonde sound so cold, especially not towards Serena herself. “I’m sorry...”

  
“Oh really! For which part exactly?” Bernie stands completely closed off from the brunette, her arms folded over her chest. “The part where I told you I was in love with you and you said nothing. You’re marrying someone else on Saturday for fuck’s sake, Serena, what are you even doing here?!”

  
“I’ve already had all this from Fleur.” Serena doesn’t mean to snap, as she pinches the bridge of her nose.

  
Bernie either doesn’t hear her or carries on regardless. “Or is it the part where Robbie’s jilted you, or whatever the fuck he’s done this time, and I’m supposed to be what? Some sort of consolation prize! GET OUT!” Bernie points at the front door.

  
Serena opens and closes her mouth a few times, but nothing comes out. Instead, she just bursts into tears, and Bernie feels like an absolute asshole.

  
She doesn’t even think about it, she just gathers Serena up in her arms and tries to soothe her. “I’m sorry. If he’s upset you this much, I know a few old army buddies who can come bust his kneecaps.” She says it only half seriously, as Serena sobs out a little laugh. 

  
“It’s not Robbie I’m upset about, I –”

  
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.” Bernie doesn’t mean it the way Serena obviously thinks, as she fishes out some old joggers and a baggy t-shirt from the same box the towels were in. When she stands up again, and turns to hand them to the brunette, she finds Serena has slipped out of her things, and is standing in her hallway in nothing but her underwear.

  
Bernie doesn’t mean to stare, but she can’t help it for a moment, before she realises her eyes are on stalks looking at the other woman. “Um... here... I am... um... I’m sorry for staring... here.” She holds the dry clothes out behind her, without looking at Serena. “Use my bedroom to change if you like. Top of the stairs, second door on the left.” She feels Serena lift the clothes from her hand, but then she sees them thrown back on top of the box they’d come out of. “Serena, wha –” She is swiftly spun to face Serena, and then the brunette’s lips are on hers. Bernie kisses her back before she even realises she is. She isn’t sure what’s going on, but they’re kissing, and she has no mind to stop and find out.

  
“Where did you say your bedroom was?” Serena kisses her one last time, before linking their hands and leading them upstairs.

  
“Serena, what’s going on?” Bernie is loath to stop, but she needs to know.

  
“Robbie didn’t jilt me. I couldn’t go through with the wedding.” She explains. “I’m in love with someone else.” Serena has a perfect vantage point from a higher stair than Bernie, as she drags her in for another deep kiss. “In case you haven’t worked it out. It’s you.” She smiles into another kiss, and they stay there for a while, just kissing each other over and over again.

  
The doorbell startles them both as they reluctantly separate. “That’ll be the movers.” Bernie watches Serena crumble before her eyes. She’d forgotten with all the kissing that Bernie was still leaving.

  
“Don’t go. I love you, and I want you to stay.” Serena clings to the blonde, not willing to let her go again. She tries to hold on to Bernie as the blonde prises herself free of Serena’s grip.

  
“I’ll be right back.” She leaves the brunette on the brink of more tears, and goes to answer the door. “Ah, gentlemen. My apologies, there’s been a change of plan. I’m staying put. I’ll still pay the bill in full, and a little extra for your troubles. Sorry for wasting your time.”

  
As Bernie closes the door once more, Serena runs at her and practically jumps back into her arms. Bernie is only too happy to catch her. “Good thing I haven’t moved any of the furniture yet.” Bernie kisses the brunette in her arms, as she carries Serena upstairs to her bedroom.

  
“All we need is a bed, love.” Serena smiles and kisses her again.

  
* * *

  
For their one-year anniversary, Bernie whisks Serena off to Paris for a rare long weekend off. The brunette isn’t sure how Bernie had managed to convince Henrik to agree to letting them both be off for four whole days at the same time, but she was not about to complain. 

  
She loves showing Bernie around Paris, it was one of her favourite places, and it had been a long time since she'd been here, and even longer since she’d had the opportunity to play tour guide. Bernie surprises her by knowing a little French, and Serena teaches her some very naughty expressions, as she whispers them hotly into the blonde’s ear as they make love countless times. It’s a wonder they see any of the city except their hotel room really...

  
On their last evening, they have dinner at a beautiful little restaurant that Serena had found tucked away from the world. “I don’t want to go home. Can’t we just stay here forever?” Serena wishes she could just freeze this moment, this feeling of bliss, and relive it for the rest of her life.

  
“Well, our trip isn’t over yet.” Bernie wipes at her mouth with her napkin and asks the waiter for the bill. She pays, and then she takes the brunette’s hand in hers, and walks them back through the Parisian streets, Serena tugs her back a little when they pass right by their hotel.

  
“Where are we going?” She looks puzzled, as the blonde walks them further and further away from the hotel.

  
“Here.” Bernie stops then and points upwards.

  
“The Eiffel Tower?” Now Serena really doesn’t know what’s going on. “We saw it on Friday.”

  
“Yes, but that was during the day.” Bernie pulls on her hand to make the brunette follow her. “Humour me.” She kisses Serena softly, and they make their way to the very top.

  
“Where are all the people?” Serena knew it was normally hiving up here.

  
“I may have arranged for it to be just us.” Bernie leads them over to look out on the city, lit up against the night’s sky.

  
“It’s beautiful.” Serena had seen it before of course, but it never failed to take her breath away.

  
“I have something for you.” Bernie whispers as she pulls out a small, velvet box from her coat pocket.

  
“We said we weren’t doing gifts.” Serena looks upset, she had taken the blonde at her word and not bought Bernie a gift.

  
“I’m hoping you’ll allow me just this one.” Bernie opens the lid to reveal a ring: a simple platinum band with a round solitaire diamond in the clasp.

  
Serena gasps and covers her mouth, tears starting to blur her vision. “Bernie...”

  
“Will you –” She never gets the question out, as Serena flings herself at her and kisses her into silence.

  
“Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.” Serena punctuates each ‘yes’ with another kiss. “Yes... I’ll marry you, Berenice Griselda Wolfe.” Serena beams as Bernie slides the ring onto her finger.

  
“Serena Wendy Campbell has agreed to marry me!!” Bernie shouts it across the city, as they cling to each other and take in the view. Serena laughs and brushes her lips against the blonde’s.

  
They make love for hours afterwards, to celebrate their engagement, and then lie entangled under the covers of their ridiculously large hotel bed.

  
“You are quite the romantic, Wolfe.” Serena inspects the ring still on her left hand, then she places the hand on the blonde’s chest and kisses her gently. “This was the best night of my life.” Serena smiles and curls herself further into the blonde’s side.

  
“And mine.” Bernie confirms. Particularly as scarcely 12 months ago she was preparing to leave Serena and all her dreams of being with the brunette behind forever. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Serena. And I will spend the rest of our lives trying to make you happy.” The blonde vows.

  
“You already make me happy, my love.” Serena can’t imagine ever being without Bernie now.

  
“Any thoughts about who’ll be your maid of honour this time round?” They both think back to the last time, and count their blessings that things had worked out the way they had. Bernie kisses the tip of Serena’s nose, to let her know that’s all in the past now. The brunette grins and quirks one wicked eyebrow.

  
“Fleur.” They both say together and then laugh, before they’re kissing all over again.


	11. Dancing Away With My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I blame Strictly. I know nothing about dancing, so this is entirely made up. The title is a Lady Antebellum song.... Hope you enjoy 😉

“Hi, sorry. Am I in the right place?” A tall blonde woman is striding towards the brunette over at the ballet bar. “I’m looking for Serena. I’m Bernie Wolfe. I... well... my daughter... forced... not forced, that’s sounds like I don’t want to be here... asked me to book a course of dance lessons. She’s signed us up for a charity event, you see, and she doesn’t want me embarrassing her in front of her workmates with my two left feet...” The blonde seems to realise that she’s rambling, shaking her head and making her curls move from side to side. “Are you Serena?”

  
“I am.” The brunette smiles kindly. “I’ve been expecting you.”

  
“Oh good. Great.” Bernie was anticipating a handshake or something of that nature, so she is caught off guard when the brunette steps behind her. She tries to keep track of where Serena is, almost like a dog chasing its tail.

  
“Eyes front. Look in the mirror.” She snaps to attention at the brunette’s command. “Drop your shoulders a bit.” Serena places her hands on said shoulders, and pushes gently to try to illustrate. “Ok, now watch me.” Serena stands beside her then and Bernie turns to look. “Watch me in the reflection.” Serena corrects her. “Now, place your arms like this.” Serena demonstrates. “Let’s have a look at your frame.” She moves to face the blonde. She tweaks here and there. “This elbow has to be more bent, and this arm needs to stay straighter. Feet a little bit more apart.” Serena assesses and then seems satisfied, as she steps into the blonde’s space and takes up her own position. “Have you ever danced before, Mrs Wolfe?”

  
“Ms. And call me Bernie if you like. No, I can’t say that I have. I mean, not ballroom standard.” Bernie shrugs apologetically, gracefulness was not one of her known qualities.

  
“Well, loosen your grip a bit on this hand.” Serena indicates their joined hands. “You must always hold on, but I don’t want to lose the feeling in my fingers.” Serena winks. “This arm will go here.” She places the blonde’s other arm around her waist, clasping her hand over Bernie’s to show her where it should rest. Then she places her hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Now, all we’re going to do for the time being is sway in place, a little figure eight with just our hips, ok?” Serena shows Bernie what she means. “Think you can handle that?” The brunette smiles warmly at the other woman, who looks mildly petrified.

“Uh... ok...” She really hates how unsure she sounds. Why did she have to be so rubbish at anything involving rhythm or musicality? Better yet, why had she agreed to this when she knew how terrible her dancing was?

  
“Don’t look so frightened. This is meant to be fun too, you know? I’m not going to be some evil taskmaster cracking the whip. Besides, we have weeks yet to make a dancer out of you!” Serena tries to get her dance partner to relax.

  
“I just don’t want to mess it up. I’m worried I’ll stomp all over your toes, and my daughter will have wasted all this money for nothing.” Bernie worries at her bottom lip with her teeth. “She arranged all this fundraising, and I don’t want to disappoint.

  
“It’s only your first lesson, and we’ve hardly even started yet. Give it time.” Serena tightens up her own frame, to encourage the blonde to prepare for their first try. “Nice and easy. See how I move my hips. You just do the same. Watch me in the mirror if you’re not sure. Ah ah ah, don’t look down. Look at me. That’s it.” Serena releases her grip, and signals for Bernie to keep going. She puts her hands on the blonde’s hips to guide her through the movement, and then she lets Bernie try it on her own. “Yes. That’s not bad. Not bad at all.” She moves back into hold to do it with the blonde again to keep her moving.

  
“We haven’t added me moving my feet yet, so I wouldn’t get too excited.” Bernie quips as she keeps moving her hips the way Serena had shown her.

  
“Word of advice?” Serena offers.

  
“You’re the expert. I bow to your superior knowledge.” Bernie needs all the help she can get.

  
“Next time, don’t wear skinny jeans. I mean, they look good on you...” Serena has to admit they do. “...but you’d feel more comfortable in something a bit more loose-fitting. And maybe trainers instead of boots.”

  
“Noted. I can do that.” Bernie agrees with a quirk of her mouth.

  
“Do you have any ideas as to which dances you’d like to learn?”

  
“I have no idea. Are there that many of them?”

  
“A fair few. Yes.” Serena huffs out a little laugh at that.

  
“I’ll ask Charlotte what she has in mind.” Bernie promises. “Can we maybe take a break? I have muscles I didn’t even know existed that are starting to hurt. And I’m a surgeon so I thought I knew them all.”

  
“What do you specialise in?” The brunette seems genuinely interested.

  
“Trauma. Actually, I start a new job on Monday: trauma unit at Holby City Hospital. They’ve approached me and asked if I’ll run it out of their Acute Admissions Unit.” Bernie falters then because the brunette has stopped moving. “Sorry. Everything ok?” She’s not sure why Serena had stopped so suddenly. “Am I doing it wrong?” Bernie is a master of multitasking, but even she is struggling to move her hips, hold whatever this ‘frame’ thing was, and carry on a conversation all at once.

  
“No. You’re _my_ new trauma consultant. I knew your name sounded familiar!” Serena beams.

  
“ _Yours?_ ” Bernie knows she’s missed something.

  
“I’m lead of AAU at Holby. We’ll be working together!” Serena isn’t sure why she’s so happy about that, but here we are.

  
“You’ll be sick of the sight of me.” Bernie jokes, as the brunette starts them moving again.

  
“I very much doubt that. You’re the best in the country. I chose you because you are the most appropriate candidate.” Serena smiles and nods that Bernie is getting better at the movement. She senses that Bernie is tiring, and lets the blonde stop for that quick break. She fishes a couple of water bottles from her kit bag and hands one to Bernie.

  
“Thanks.” The blonde reaches for the bottle, and takes a quick mouthful.

  
“Yes, being a vascular surgeon is my other life.” Serena explains, before taking a sip from her own water.

  
“You’re in theatre all day, and then you teach people like clumsy, old me to dance straight after. You must have some stamina.” Bernie smiles, very impressed.

  
“I love to dance. I danced competitively until I started med school, and now I get to impart some of that joy to others. I get to do two jobs that make me happy. Who could ask for more?” Serena feels incredibly lucky.

  
“Doesn’t leave much room for a personal life.” Bernie realises that might not be any of her business and quickly adds. “Sorry, that was... what I mean is...” She puffs out a breath from the side of her mouth, making her impossibly floppy fringe move. “I only meant that I know how gruelling the hours can be. It’s not like I have any personal life to speak of.... I’m... um... maybe we should just stick to dancing. I’m not gonna be able to use my feet if I keep putting them in my mouth.”

  
Serena chuckles and takes pity on her. “I only teach dance one or two nights every week. Less if work is manic. And you’re right about the personal life. But I have my nephew who lives with me and a grown-up daughter at university. And one very _ex_ -husband. That’s plenty.” Serena laughs again and walks back out to the middle of the floor. “Shall we try moving our feet this time?”

  
“It’s your funeral...” Bernie whispers under her breath, this was the part she’d been dreading. “I should apologise to your toes in advance, I think.” She takes the position Serena had shown her, and then the brunette steps in to join her.

  
“Right, most dances are counted in eights. One exception is the waltz, which is threes. Argentine Tango is another.” Serena starts to explain. “So, we will count it out for a few tries, and then eventually it will become second nature. I will step forward with this foot, and you will move the foot facing it backwards. Then feet together again. And then I’ll step back with my other foot, and you forward with yours, and then back to the middle. We’ll do it a few times. Ready?”

  
“As I’ll ever be.” Bernie takes a deep breath, and utters a prayer to the Gods that she won’t damage Serena’s feet too much.

  
“Here we go, on eight. Five, six, seven, eight.” She nods to Bernie that it’s time and then they’re off. Serena counts out loud, and gestures for the blonde to do the same. They manage a couple of steps, before Bernie stomps on Serena’s toes.

  
“Sorry.” She blushes and dips her head.

  
“Eyes on mine.” Serena coaxes her to look up again. “You’re not the first, nor will you be the last, to step on my toes. The main thing is just to keep going. Alright? Let’s go again.”

  
They have a few more attempts, and Bernie inevitably trampled Serena’s toes every so often, but it’s not as bad as she had thought it would be. Each time she does stumble or step on Serena’s feet, she gets better at keeping the momentum going, until eventually she doesn’t step on the brunette’s toes at all.

  
“Good! Very good, Bernie.” Serena grins, and Bernie feels a hundred feet tall. In dance terms, it was probably pretty basic, but never in a million years did she think she’d master even this much. It helps that the brunette is a wonderful teacher, and seems to have the patience of a saint. “How would you feel about adding some music?” Serena raises her eyebrows, a little twinkle in her brown eyes.

  
“I guess I’ll have to at some point. Might as well be now.” Bernie is not looking forward to this next addition.

  
“It will just be a simple beat to help us keep count for now. Once you know which dances you need to learn, we can dance to your song choice instead.” Serena walks over to the CD player on the floor by the mirror and presses ‘play.’ As she walks back to Bernie, she counts out from one to eight over and over, letting the blonde find the beat. She does a little dance on her own, still in frame but with an invisible partner, in time with the music, and Bernie is mesmerised.

  
“Ok.... that....” Bernie points to the brunette. “...I will never be able to do.”

  
“Oh, I can promise you that you will. I have had worse than you on my dance floor, and I’m stubborn as all hell. Never had a student I couldn’t teach yet. You will be no exception, Bernie Wolfe.” There is a steely determination to the brunette’s stare, that lets Bernie know that she means every single word. “Now, let’s dance!” Serena smiles and grabs hold of the blonde.

  
“Yes, ma’am.” Bernie quips.

  
“Ah, now I see why you’re so unused to relaxing those shoulders. Army?” Serena guesses.

  
“RAMC. Major Berenice Wolfe, at your service, ma’am.” Bernie winks at the brunette, and lets Serena count them through a few more reps of dancing on the spot.

  
“I bet you cut a fine figure in your dress uniform.” Serena thinks _what’s not to like?_ Toned frame, legs that go on for an eternity, an air of authority, but no stuffy arrogance. She carries herself very well.

  
“Maybe I’ll wear it for one of my dances. If I ever manage to make it all the way to the fundraiser.” Bernie doubts she’ll ever be ready.

  
“What are you fundraising for?” Serena asks, she notices that Bernie seems to be more at ease if they’re chatting, rather than concentrating too much on what her feet and body were doing.

  
“My daughter’s an F1 over at St James’s. They’re having a _Strictly_ night for _Children In Need_. I foolishly said I would take part.”

  
“Do you think you could cope if we maybe move around the floor a little more?”

  
“You’re the boss, boss.” Bernie defers to the brunette’s decision.

  
“Actually, we’ll be co-leads. Equals, if you will.” Serena changes the CD and starts a song that Bernie doesn’t recognise.

  
“Not on the dance floor. You’re the master and I am less than novice at all this.”

  
“There’s your first problem. You are my partner. We make each other look good. There is no power struggle. Even in the dances where it looks like there is.” Serena whispers it to the blonde as if it is meant to be a secret. “We’re in this together.”

  
“Fair enough.”

  
“Will you have a dance partner for the fundraiser? They might need to come along to these lessons, if you want to practise before the big night.” Serena kindly offers. “No charge for the second person.”

  
“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that.” _Bugger_. “I assumed I’d be dancing with my daughter. Give me a sec.” Bernie rushes off to grab her mobile phone. “Hi Charlie, it’s mum.... about this dance thing. Do I need a partner? Uh huh.... Yeah... Um... Right... And do you know which dances I’ll need to learn?” Bernie remembers that Serena had asked that. “Argentine Tango and Contemporary.” Bernie says it a bit louder so Serena can hear, shrugging at the brunette, it meant nothing to her. “Ok sweetheart... yes, I’m with Serena now...” Bernie smiles over at the brunette. “... only once or twice.” Bernie blushes when her daughter asks if she’d stomped on the teacher’s toes yet. “Thanks, love. I’ll speak to you later. Love you. Bye.” Bernie hangs up, throws her phone back in her bag and walks back to Serena. “Apparently, I was supposed to have brought a partner with me. I didn’t realise. I don’t have one. Oh, and I have to choreograph both dances and select the music. Charlie had all those dance classes as a kid, so she’ll be a whizz. I’m going to disappoint her, aren’t I?” Bernie goes very pale, as she grasps the magnitude of what she’s unknowingly agreed to. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  
“Balderdash!” Serena clasps both of the blonde’s hands in each of hers. “I’ll partner with you. It is for a good cause and it’ll be fun. And I can more than help with choreography and music.” She’s already mapping it out in her mind, and she’s gone off to flick through her CD collection for inspiration.

  
“I couldn’t ask you to do that.” Bernie knows it’s too much.

  
“You didn’t. And I love dancing, it’s hardly a chore. You’re only at the very beginning, but you have the makings of a fine dance partner. We’ll have to schedule more days in the week to practice, but I don’t mind helping you out.” Serena shocks the blonde, who was not used to compliments from beautiful women. _Wait, what?_ She has to admit the brunette is very beautiful. “I really think we can do this. What do you say?” Serena holds out her hand and smiles when the blonde takes it and they head back out on the floor.

  
* * *

  
“I know. I know. I’m late. I’m so sorry, Serena.” Bernie rushes into the dance hall, she’s still wearing her hospital scrubs and looks a bit frantic. “Do I have time to change out of...?” She indicates her scrubs.

  
“I know you got called into theatre before I left. Go ahead and change, it’s fine. I won’t look, scout’s honour.” Serena turns away to realise that she’s facing the mirror now anyway. Her hand flies up to play with the pendant around her neck, which she always does unthinkingly when she was nervous or anxious. She tries not to look, but she can’t help herself.

  
When Bernie turns to face away from her and lifts her scrub top off, Serena blushes at the blonde in just her bra. She holds her breath, as Bernie removes the bra all together and pulls a thin, white vest-top on. She’s never fainted before, but she comes close when the blonde slips out of her scrub bottoms and she can see Bernie’s long legs for herself. She swallows thickly when the blonde bends over to grab her joggers and slip her trainers back on.

  
“Scout’s honour, eh?” Bernie catches her watching, staring really, and Serena is mortified. “You’d have made a terrible scout.” Bernie teases as she makes her way over to the brunette.

  
“Sorry.” Serena knows it’s not medically possible to die of embarrassment, but she still isn’t sure she’s not about to.

  
“No worries. I was in the army. I had to lose any body hang-ups pretty quickly.”

  
“Why would you have hang-ups?” Serena can’t imagine anyone so perfect would need to fret about their body.

  
“Tall, lanky, awkward. I’m all angles and edges. My nose is too big, my lips are too thin, my boobs are too small. I’m hardly supermodel material.” Bernie shrugs, she was content with the way she looked now, but it hadn’t always been that way. “I don’t have any curves, not like...” Bernie almost points at Serena then, but catches herself at the last minute, disguising it as moving her fringe from her eyes. Instead of saying _you_ , she says “...other women.” Serena definitely had curves. Very, very nice curves.

  
“I think you’re gorgeous.” Serena says before she can stop herself, and then lamely adds, “I mean... you have the perfect body shape for dancing the lead.” She claps her hands. “Anyway... shall we start?”

  
“I’m all yours.” Bernie doesn’t see Serena cast her eyes to the heavens thinking _if only_.

  
“I thought we’d try the Argentine Tango first.” Serena suggests. “We’ll run through the basic steps, then we’ll bring it all together without the music. And once we’ve found the right song, we’ll come up with a routine.”

  
“There’s a lot of _we_ in that which I’m afraid might just actually be _you_. I’m clueless with this kind of thing.”

  
“Think of it like being in surgery together. We anticipate each other’s needs and we communicate without words, don’t we?” She smiles when Bernie nods. It had only been her first week, but they did work well together already. “Each part of any procedure is about placement and synchronicity, and you follow the steps to their natural conclusion. Dancing is not so different. Once you know all the steps, you can do anything. It’s just a way of saying all the things you can’t say with words. A way to express yourself. And we know you have the hands for it.” Serena winks at her. “I’m here to help your feet follow.”

  
Serena sounds so certain, so convinced that Bernie can do this, that the blonde wants to be good at this just to prove herself to the brunette. “I want to be good at this. For you.... and my daughter of course.” She hadn’t meant to verbalise the thought.

  
“Let’s get started.” Serena tries not to glow at the thought of the blonde wanting to do well for her. “The Argentine Tango is a sensual dance. It’s focused. It’s smouldering. It’s passion. It’s fire. It’s raw. It’s intimate. And it’s one of the ones that doesn’t count in eights.” Serena steps in to frame with the blonde. “We’re going to have to get a bit closer than this.” She grabs the blonde’s waist and presses their bodies almost flush, and then they hold each other again. “This is our first position. Everything else in the dance brings us back to this. Each time we are in hold, we must be practically touching head to toe.”

  
“Got it.” Bernie suddenly feels very hot, even though all she has on is her vest-top.

  
Serena tries not to think about how she’s pressed against Bernie in nothing but that thin t-shirt. If she looks down, she can almost see the outline of her breasts through the minimal material. 

  
She shows Bernie a lot of the steps as they stay still and then she constructs a small routine to piece a few of the moves together. And then they’re off...

  
“Sorry. That’s wrong. Sorry.” Bernie gets decidedly more flustered as she forgets all the steps and keeping stepping on Serena’s feet. “Christ, I’m terrible at this. I’m so sorry.” She steps away from the brunette, trying to get her thoughts in order, trying to not cry at how useless she is.

  
“Hey. It’s ok.” Serena comes over and puts her hands on Bernie’s upper arms, rubbing them soothingly. She tries a different tact. “Have you ever been in love?”

  
“What?” Bernie doesn’t know why the brunette is asking her that.

  
“Have you?” Serena presses.

  
“Um... yeah... yes... yes I have.”

  
“Remember that feeling of butterflies inside your stomach.” Serena asks.

  
Bernie nods.

  
“And that feeling of wanting to be near them all the time. Of wanting to grab hold of them and kiss them.”

  
Bernie nods again.

  
“Imagine that the Argentine Tango is your only chance to do all that. Feel all those things. It’s not about knowing all the steps. It’s about feeling it. In here.” Serena splays her hand on her own torso. “That feeling that you can’t even breathe when they walk into a room. But then the music starts and it’s like there’s a magnet moving you towards each other.” Serena begins to move as she continues to speak. “And you’re the only two people in the world then, and you’ll die if you don’t reach out to them, drag them in and show them how much you love them.” She steps back into hold with the blonde and nods to her. _You’ve got this_. Her eyes seem to say and Bernie starts to move.

  
Only for the fact that she’s really doing it, Bernie would never believe that she was dancing. With Serena’s body indecently close to hers, the curves she’d admired now pressed into her. She manages to complete all the steps with ease.

  
“You did it!” Serena breaks character to smile at Bernie’s progress.

  
“I did. I did it.” Bernie’s voice is full of awe.

  
“I had a thought about our song choice for this dance.” Serena dances all the way to the CD player and Bernie laughs; she was such an amazing dancer. “What do you think of this?” She starts the song. They listen to the whole thing in silence, and Bernie can almost see the cogs turning in the brunette’s mind, putting a routine together.

  
“I confess I don’t know the song.” Bernie was clueless about artists’ names and current pop songs.

  
“It’s called _The Greatest_ by Sia.” Serena tells her.

  
“If you like it, then so do I.” Bernie smiles.

  
“Great. You’re sure?” Serena smiles back at her when Bernie nods. “Well, I think that’s us for tonight. I’ll put something together with the song, and we’ll work through the beginnings of the routine next time.”

  
“Sounds like a plan. Thank you, Serena.” Bernie is just grabbing her stuff when the brunette speaks again.

  
“Have you eaten?” Serena has her own bag slung over her shoulder.

  
“Nope, not yet. I’ll just pick something up on the way home.” Bernie lifts her bag and walks towards the door.

  
“Would you like to have dinner with me?” Serena says it in a rush, just to be sure she’ll say it at all.

  
“Oh... I couldn’t impose... you’ve been stuck with me all day.” Bernie stares at her trainers, her cheeks a little flushed. Not from the dancing.

  
“We could mull over some ideas for the Tango and I’ll make you supper, if you’d like to...” Serena trails off, maybe it was the blonde who couldn’t wait to get away from her.

  
“If you really wouldn’t mind.” Bernie is rewarded with a bright smile from the brunette. “I’d love to.”

  
“Great. My car is in the car park. If you want to follow me home.” Serena nods her thanks when Bernie holds the door open for her.

  
* * *

  
They have been doing the Argentine Tango for a couple of weeks, and Bernie can hardly believe that the person dancing in the mirror is actually her. Serena was thrilled with how well she was doing, and if they were honest with themselves, they were enjoying spending so much time together in such close proximity. Sometimes Serena will dance with her, and other times she will just watch Bernie and make any necessary adjustments. The music has been edited a little by Serena’s nephew who is a tech genius apparently, so that there is a more definite start and end to the piece, and so they can stick to their allocated three and a half minutes.

  
“I have to say, Bernie, you really are doing marvellously.” The blonde could bask in Serena’s praise forever, it made her feel amazing to please the other woman.

  
“I have a good teacher.” Bernie grabs Serena round the waist, lifting her slightly, and then she’s pulling her along as she walks backwards, the brunette’s foot extended behind her, drags along the floor, and Serena’s hands are splayed on both sides of Bernie’s face. Then there are a series of sharp kicks and flicks, Serena’s foot slides up the inside of Bernie’s leg and back down again. Bernie then has to push away, and do a spin on her own, before they’re back in hold again. She has even learned to spot as they do a number of quick rotations. As the song comes to an end, she lifts Serena and spins her while Serena makes some gorgeous shape with her legs apart and bent at the knee. On the last few beats, she sets the brunette down gently and twirls her with one hand. Then she uses the same grip to pull her in and off her feet, catching the brunette’s leg under the knee at her hip, and holding the pose as Serena’s face is millimetres away and she has Bernie’s face in her hands again.

  
“You did it.” Once the music stops Serena throws her arms around Bernie’s neck. “A whole Argentine Tango.”

  
“We did it.” Bernie grins and clings to Serena’s waist.

  
“That was perfect.” Serena couldn’t be happier. “You stayed in character the whole way through. Well done, Bernie!” Serena kisses her on one cheek and hugs her again.

“Dress rehearsal next week. I’ve picked up a couple of costumes from an old friend. This should be in your size.” She grabs a suit bag and hands it to the blonde and waits for her to leave it with the rest of her things. “Now. Contemporary.” Serena is fizzing with excitement; she was so proud of Bernie. “We’ll be barefoot for this one.”

  
“I don’t know how on earth I’ll ever remember two routines.” Bernie’s nerves were starting to creep back in.

  
“You’ll do brilliantly and I’ll be there with you. Look at how far you’ve come already.” Serena squeezes her arm in support. “So... contemporary is more of a storytelling dance. It’s softer and more graceful than the Tango. Not as much staccato, it’s fluid and has a flow running all the way through. There’s a little touch of ballet and a few other styles, and it’s about slow, deliberate movements, mixed with a bit more athleticism. Hands are a bit more important too. As with the Argentine Tango, we’ll do a few of the basics first and work our way up to the full routine. But I had thought of this for our song choice...” She changes the CD in the player and begins the music.

  
_I'm trying to hold my breath_  
_Let it stay this way_  
_Can't let this moment end_

  
“Oh, I do recognise this one. Charlie and I went to see _The Greatest Showman_ at the cinema. It’s called _Never Enough_.” Bernie beams at getting the answer right.

  
“I think that’s us for this week.” Serena is delighted with the blonde’s efforts. “You are coming along nicely, and I think you’ll do me and your daughter very proud. Don’t forget to bring the Tango costume next time, there are shoes in the bag as well. It might be a bit different from trainers at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Maybe wear them a bit at home just to break them in before next time.”

  
“Will do.” Bernie nods. “Do you... uh... fancy a bite to eat? There’s a little Italian place around the corner. It didn’t look too busy on my way in.”

  
“Yes, that sounds lovely.” Serena smiles and they walk out arm in arm.

  
* * *

  
Bernie is first to arrive for their next session: the dress rehearsal. She should be running through her steps, but instead she’s talking to herself. “Serena... yes, Serena, hi. I was thinking... No that’s not right... I was wondering.... Serena, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I... am bloody awful at this.” She huffs out her frustration at herself and starts again. “Serena... the thing is... I like you... oh God... no... no... I _more_ than like you... Jesus, what am I, fifteen?” She scratches her head and is about to start again when the woman in question walks in. And she isn’t alone.

  
“Have you been waiting long? Sorry, this is my nephew, Jason. Jason this is –” Serena begins making introductions.

  
“Doctor Bernie.” The young man chirps up. “Her hair is much better than you described though.” Serena covers her face with her hand, and wishes she hadn’t maybe talked quite so much about the blonde at home.

  
Bernie laughs at the comment. “Nice to meet you, Jason. And my hair _is_ tidier than normal this week.” She winks at the brunette, who suddenly notices Bernie is in full costume.

Her hair is certainly tidier, slicked back off her face in a neat ponytail. She is wearing the black and white saddle shoes that Serena had given her. She also has on the black dress trousers, with the sequin band running the length of both outside hems. On the top half she has on the crisp white shirt, with a few of the top buttons undone. The sleeves are tucked neatly up to her elbows, and over that is the fitted grey waistcoat – the edge of each pocket has a satin trim that matches the colour of the brunette’s dress. Only Bernie doesn’t know that yet.

  
“Oh wow.” Serena takes it all in and unconsciously licks her lips, very much appreciating the blonde’s outfit. She looked bloody fantastic.

  
Bernie sees the brunette’s eyes drink her in, and she is pleased to note that Serena seems to be liking what she sees. Then it is her turn to stare when Serena takes off her coat. The brunette was wearing a dress in a deep red colour, there was even a similar colour on her own waistcoat. The neckline was round and cut just above her cleavage, and it was backless, with chiffon sleeves. The dress was knee-length with a loose skirt, Bernie assumes to allow Serena easy of movement, and a ruffle hem. The outfit was finished off with black strappy shoes, with sequins along the toe straps, to match the legs of Bernie’s trousers.

  
“Serena, you look beautiful.” Bernie gapes at the other woman.

  
“Thank you. So do you.” Serena returns the compliment.

  
“Auntie Serena. You’ll need to hurry up. We only have forty-seven minutes until the chip shop closes.” Jason makes them tear their eyes away from each other.

  
“He has Asperger’s, so his routine is very important to him. Normally when I’m teaching, he stays with Alan, it’s like a buddy system, he hates the word ‘carer’... anyway, Alan can’t do tonight, so I’ve brought him with me. I hope that’s ok. Oh, and it’s fish and chip night, if you want to come back to the house, after we’re done with the dress rehearsal. Usually it’s Wednesday, but he agreed to switch so that I won’t have to cook.” Serena then realises that was a lot of information to give the blonde in the space of ten seconds. “Sorry.”

  
“No need to apologise. We’ll do a quick run-through and then you two can head home, and I’ll pick up the fish and chips to bring back with me. How does that sound?” Bernie rests her hands on the brunette’s shoulders.

  
“You won’t forget my pickled egg, will you Doctor Bernie?” Jason chimes in.

  
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She smiles at the young man who seems satisfied with her answer.

  
“Alright, let’s have a go at this Argentine Tango of ours.” Serena puts the CD in and asks Jason if he wouldn’t mind selecting the right song and pressing play when she gives him the nod. She walks back to Bernie and embraces her. “Remember, it’s just like being in love.” She kisses the blonde’s jaw before they take up their positions at opposite sides of the floor. 

  
As Bernie walks over to her spot, she thinks it won’t be very difficult to get into character. She’s only just admitting to herself that she might be a bit in love with Serena already. She doesn’t get the chance to tell her any of that though.

  
* * *

  
Bernie finds herself struggling with their contemporary routine. Serena shows her countless videos on YouTube and has broken the steps down as much as she can. Still the blonde is frustrated with herself, and she suspects that Serena is frustrated with her too.

  
“I’m never going to get this.” Bernie is sweating a bit and she’s exhausted, all of this she could have easily done in her twenties, but she was twice that age now.

  
“You will, Bernie.” Serena hardly looks as if she’s been dancing at all, whereas Bernie knows she looks a mess. “I have faith in you. Even when you don’t in yourself.”

  
“I need a break.” Bernie storms off the dance floor, kicking her kit bag in irritation. She heads into the toilets of the rec centre. Maybe if she splashes her face with some cold water, she’ll wake up a bit.

  
“Hello there.” Serena turns to see a tall brunette, probably in her forties, at the double doors of the hall.

  
“Can I help you? I’m in the middle of a lesson right now, but if want to call me, I’ll see if we can schedule something.” Serena smiles, thinking the woman must be enquiring about lessons.

  
“Oh... no, I’m looking for Bernie.” The younger brunette explains as she comes further into the hall. “Is she here?”

  
“She’s taking a break. I don’t imagine she’ll be much longer.” Serena walks over to the woman. “Serena Campbell, Bernie’s dance teacher.” She offers her hand to the brunette.

  
“Alex Dawson, Bernie’s girlfriend.” She squeezes Serena’s hand warmly and smiles.

  
“Bernie’s...?” Serena was not expecting that.

  
“Girlfriend.” Alex says it again, not sure what to make of Serena’s shocked expression.

  
“Nice to meet you.” Serena breathes out the words, her eyes inexplicably start to sting with the start of tears. _Bernie had never said anything about a girlfriend..._ “Would you excuse me for just a moment?” Serena tries not to run out of the room, but she isn’t convinced of how successful she is.

  
“Serena? Where are you going?” Bernie crosses her path on the way back from the bathroom. _Where was Serena going in such a hurry? Was she crying?_ “SERENA, WAIT!!” Bernie chases after her, all the way to the car park. It isn’t until their feet hit asphalt that they both realise they’re still barefoot.

“Serena, what’s going on?” She wraps her up in her arms, as her heart breaks with each of Serena’s sobs.

  
“I’m sorry, I just... I don’t know what’s come over me.” Serena lies and pulls away from the blonde. “Your girlfriend is waiting for you.” She walks back the way she’d come towards the dance hall.

  
“My what now?” Bernie grabs Serena’s wrist to keep her there. “Serena, what are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  
Serena looks at Bernie then, she thought she could read the blonde pretty well now, and she is almost sure that Bernie is telling the truth. “Well, who’s Alex Dawson then?”

  
“Alex? Where did you hear that name?” Bernie's heckles start to rise.

  
“She’s inside, looking for you.” Serena brings the blonde up to speed.

  
“Is she now?” Bernie stomps purposefully towards the dance studio, and Serena is hot on her heels. Bernie pushes open the double doors with some force. “What the hell are you doing here, Alex?”

  
“Hey, babe.” Alex smiles, until she sees the look in Bernie’s eyes, but she carries on speaking anyway. “I heard that you needed a dance partner for the fundraiser, so here I am.” She holds her arms wide, like she’s the second coming of Christ.

  
“One, I have a dance partner.” Bernie signals that it’s Serena. “And two, I’m not your bloody girlfriend! This has to stop, Alex. You can’t keep following me around like a puppy, nothing is ever going to happen between us. I don’t know how much clearer I can be.” Bernie was exasperated with the brunette showing up everywhere she went. “For once and for all, LEAVE ME ALONE!”

  
Alex considers protesting for about half a second, but she sees that Bernie’s mind is made up, and skulks off the way she came. Bernie scowls at her the whole way out the door, her arms crossed over her chest.

  
Bernie releases a long breath and pinches her nose between thumb and forefinger. “I’m sorry about that. She hasn’t left me alone for weeks. I left strict instructions that she was not to be informed about the fundraiser or my dance lessons. I’ll murder whoever told her.”

  
Serena feels relief wash over her like a wave. Bernie didn’t have a girlfriend. Her face almost splits in two when she smiles wide and bright.

  
“Are you ok? Why were you so upset just now?” Bernie’s head flicks round to Serena, like she’s suddenly just remembered again that she’s there.

  
“Oh, I think I was just a bit overwhelmed, because we were struggling a little with the contemporary routine. And then when Alex said that she was your...” Serena hesitates to say _girlfriend_. “...dance partner, I felt a bit put out. We’ve been working so hard and I enjoy dancing with you. Just me being silly.” Alex had said nothing to Serena about partnering Bernie, but she wasn’t quite feeling brave enough to tell the blonde the truth.

  
Bernie could swear that Serena was keeping something from her, but for the life of her she can’t work out what it might be. “No, Serena. You’re irreplaceable.” Bernie holds her again and kisses the brunette’s hair. “I wouldn’t want to dance with anyone else.” Serena beams as she clings more tightly to the blonde.

  
* * *

  
Serena only fully gets to appreciate just how strong Bernie is as they work their way through all the lifts and tricks for their contemporary dance. She can easily lift the brunette, almost as if Serena were a feather, and Serena’s never felt safer in a dance partner’s arms. There is no fear that the blonde would ever drop her, and she always brings Serena safely and gently out of each lift. Bernie considers Serena very precious cargo, there was no way she’d ever let her fall.

  
“I think we’re getting there.” Serena is a little out of breath, but only because she’s spent most of tonight’s sessions being lifted in the blonde’s strong embrace.

  
“How am I doing?” Bernie’s arms shine with sweat, and her vest is almost sheer from the dampness. Serena can see the darker areas where the blonde’s nipples are. They are standing out in the t-shirt, and Serena thinks it would take very little to make her take one into her mouth and... “Serena?” She is brought out of her fantasies by Bernie’s voice.

  
“Sorry, what?” Serena tries to hide the fact that she’s been staring straight at the blonde’s chest.

  
“Am I doing this right?” Even with how much she’d improved and all she was now capable of; Bernie still has a voice in the back of her head telling her she can’t do this.

  
“You’re ready for a dress rehearsal, I’d say.” Serena has another set of clothes for her. This time there are dark grey ankle grazers and a plain navy oxford shirt. “Roll up the sleeves of the shirt, the same way as for the Tango. Leave it unbuttoned, and wear one of the white vest-tops you’re so fond of. Please.”

  
“Alright, I think I have a fresh one in my kit bag.” Bernie turns and starts to peel her top from her body, and Serena’s pulse skyrockets as she tracks the blonde’s departing back the whole way over to her bag.

  
“And maybe wear a bra.” Serena adds as an afterthought. She’d never survive the whole routine otherwise.

  
“Ok.” Bernie fishes it back out of her bag, and takes everything with her to go change into her costume in the far corner. She wipes herself down with her towel first before she ruined the costume.

  
Serena unzips her suit bag to reveal her dress for this number: it is also navy to coordinate with Bernie’s shirt. It has one thick strap over her left shoulder, and the neckline is a diagonal from there to under her right arm. Along the neckline and around the waist, there are ruffles that look like navy flowers. The whole thing is made of a heavy chiffon-like material so that it will be soft and floaty. The skirt is made up of V-shaped strips of the same material, so it will swish and swirl as she moves.

  
They turn in unison to find the other dressed for the number.

  
“Wow, Serena. That dress.... it’s gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.” Bernie’s smile is radiant.

  
“You don’t look so bad yourself, soldier.” Serena looks at her with a heated stare that Bernie feels all over.

  
“Hair up or down for this one?” Bernie is just about to pull out her hair tie when Serena interrupts her.

  
“Wait. Wear it down, but can I?” She reaches up and frees Bernie’s curls from the tiny ponytail. She runs her fingers through the blonde’s hair, separating all of her curls. “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.” Serena cards her hands through Bernie’s hair for a few moments longer, never breaking eye contact with the blonde. “I guess we better start dancing.” She grabs the remote control for the CD player. “Ready?” When Bernie nods, she starts the song, slides the control out of the way, and takes up her position.

  
Bernie’s muscles ache when they’re finished, but she’s never cared less, because she’s just completed another routine without missing a step. She never thought she’d ever be this ready for the fundraiser, but she can’t stop smiling.

  
“Bernie, that was amazing!” Serena hugs her tight and squeezes for good measure.

  
“You’re amazing.” Bernie pulls back to look at the brunette. “I doubt anyone but you could have made me dance like this.”

  
* * *

  
It’s the night of the fundraiser and Bernie feels like she might throw up.

  
“I’ve never been this nervous before.” She is pacing and shaking her hands, trying to disperse the anxiety. It didn’t help that they were last in each round to dance, so they just had to wait and watch everyone else.

  
Serena grabs her face in both hands. “Bernie Wolfe, you look at me this instant.” When the blonde’s terrified eyes meet hers, Serena continues. “You have nothing to be nervous about. When we first started, you’d never danced a single step before, and now look at what you can do. I am unspeakably proud of you. Just go out there and dance for me. Dance with me. It’s just us. No one else is watching. Ok?” She smiles when Bernie agrees and seems to relax a bit. “Let’s get ready for the Argentine Tango.” Serena puts her hand in Bernie’s and walks them to the changing room.

  
Serena does Bernie's makeup, only because she rarely wears any and wouldn’t know where to start. She tries not to blush with the brunette’s face so close to hers, her eyes so focused on Bernie’s face. The brunette’s hand holding her chin to keep her in place, or wiping with her thumb and touching things to fix them, has Bernie sure she’ll pass out. If her makeup makes her look anywhere near as good as Serena’s then she’ll be more than happy with the results.

  
“And... I think we’re done.” Serena finishes with a flourish. “What do you think?” Bernie turns to the mirror to check. Serena has painted her lips the same colour as hers – the deep red of the brunette’s dress. Her eye makeup is grey and smoky and smouldering. It’s different, but she likes it.

  
“I think it looks good.” Bernie appraises her reflection.

  
“Good?! You look bloody gorgeous.”

  
“You do too.” Bernie dips her head, not used to compliments. “Can we go and watch the others? Charlie will be dancing soon.”

  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Serena links their fingers and they make their way out to watch. Bernie is positively glowing with maternal pride. “I can see she gets her dancing skills from you.” Serena squeezes Bernie’s hand and the blonde suddenly realises that they’ve held hands throughout Charlie’s dance.

  
“You were wonderful.” Bernie bear hugs her daughter.

  
“Thanks, Mum. This is Liam. We’re... um... dating.” Charlie gives Bernie a look that says _be nice_.

  
“Ah, young man. Nice to meet you.” She smiles and gives Liam a warm handshake. “You two danced beautifully together, and you got the scores to prove it.”

  
“Ok, up next, all the way from Holby AAU, dancing an Argentine Tango we have Serena Campbell and Berenice Wolfe!!” The MC of the event calls them out to the dance floor, amidst rapturous applause. Serena had told the whole hospital about tonight and all of their AAU colleagues were here, and Bernie’s son Cam was ‘whooping’ in the front row.

Serena leans up to hug the blonde and offer the kiss to Bernie’s jaw that had become a bit of a ritual, a good luck charm. She wipes off her lipstick mark and whispers to the blonde. “You can do this. It’s just us.” Then they take up their positions on diagonally opposing corners of the floor with their back to each other. Bernie takes a deep breath and waits for the music to start.

  
The first few bars of the song are just a beat, and Bernie completes a series of moves in time with each one, which should mirror Serena’s if she’s got her timings right. Then they turn at the same time, and are to walk purposefully towards one another with deliberate steps until the lyrics begin – as their front foot steps forward, the back foot is dragged through, toe pointing to the floor and then it becomes the front foot and the whole thing is repeated over and over until they meet in the middle of the floor.

  
_Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I_  
_Oh, I, I got stamina_

  
At this point they are in hold, and Serena extends one leg to the side, and draws an imaginary circle with her pointed foot, before kicking the foot up behind her, and then bringing her leg back out in front of her, to curl it around Bernie’s hip as the blonde lifts her slightly off the floor and does a rotation. Then there are a series of turns, they spin with their whole bodies touching and their legs entwined.

  
_Don't give up, I won't give up_  
_Don't give up, no no no_

  
Here they come out of the rotations and Bernie walks them backwards for a few steps, before she is lifting Serena by just their clasped hands. Serena has one leg bent at the knee, kicking the other straight up behind her, and it almost looks like she's flying. The audience seem to like it as they burst into applause. Then Bernie sets Serena back down, and grabs both of her wrists to push her to the floor and spin her away from her, she walks over to where Serena is now sitting on the floor and takes hold of her wrists again to spin her on the spot, the brunette still sitting down, has her legs bent so that she moves in that shape, until Bernie pulls her up to her feet again.

  
_I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive_  
_I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest_  
_The greatest, the greatest alive_  
_The greatest, the greatest alive_

  
Then Bernie has to step away and do a sequence of moves on her own, as Serena does the same ones right beside her. She hopes that she’s kept time and counted everything out right so that they are perfectly in sync. She knows she’s not allowed to look over to Serena to check, so she just has to pray that it looks good.

  
_Don't give up, I won't give up_  
_Don't give up, no no no_  
_Don't give up, I won't give up_  
_Don't give up, no no no_

  
They are back in hold now and on the second lot of _no no no_ she has to catch each of Serena’s wrist, as the brunette brings her arms up perpendicular and mocks trying to strike the blonde, and then spin her in time with each _no._

  
Then they are going through another chorus, and performing the drag as Serena extends her foot behind her and Bernie pulls her along. The audience seems to be a big fan of that as well. Before she knows it, they are doing the final lift and then Serena is in her arms holding the final pose until the music stops.

  
“You did it!!” Serena clings to her as the audience get to their feet and clap so loudly that Bernie can't hear the rest of what Serena says to her. Then they stand side by side to take a little bow and move over to the judge’s panel to hear their scores.

  
They get three 9s and one 10 and Serena is delighted. Bernie is just stunned, thinking they’ve surely held up the wrong numbers. Even though she knows it’s all for charity, she can’t help a small swell of pride that she’d pulled it off. For Serena.

  
“Oh my God, Mum! I did not know you could do that.” Charlie hugs her once they’ve jogged off the dance floor.

  
“I couldn’t until I met Serena.” Bernie is pleased when her daughter hugs the brunette as well. For some reason it seemed important that her kids liked Serena.

  
“Wow, Mum. Just, wow.” Cam makes his way over from the audience to hug her too.

  
“Oh, Cam. This is Serena.” The blonde introduces them. “Serena, this is my oldest.”

  
“Serena.” Cam nods and gives her a quick hug. “So, you and Mum are...?” He winks to convert his meaning.

  
“Oh, no. Cam, we’re just friends. Serena wouldn’t be interested in me.” Bernie waves off the idea.

  
Serena doesn’t know whether to shake the blonde at this point. How could she not be interested in her? She was kind, smart, fun and beautiful. She bristles a bit at being so easily dismissed. “We should probably change for the contemporary.” Serena leaves Bernie standing there as she storms away.

  
Bernie gets the complete wrong end of the stick as she hurries after her. “Serena, I’m sorry. I hope Cam didn’t embarrass you by thinking that we were...” She moves her hand between them. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”

  
“I didn’t realise that the idea of us being in a relationship was so abhorrent.” Serena refuses to look at Bernie as she wipes off her makeup from the Tango to redo it for their next routine.

  
“I...” Bernie knows she's said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, but she’s not sure what that thing was. Perhaps best to leave well alone. “I’ll go change.”

  
Serena has calmed down a bit by the time the blonde comes back. She removes Bernie’s Tango makeup and applies only a little for the contemporary.

  
“You wanna do the honours?” Bernie points to her hair and lets Serena untie it and run her fingers through it like last time. “I’m sorry if I said or did something to upset you. I never want to hurt you, Serena.”

  
“I know, love.” It slips out before Serena’s realises that she’s said it. “I’m ok. We’re ok.” She cups Bernie’s cheek with one hand, and runs the pad of her thumb across the blonde’s cheekbone. “Ready for our contemporary?”

  
“I hope so.” Bernie doesn’t want to mess up. “Come on, let’s watch Charlie and Liam’s second dance.” Bernie takes Serena’s hand in hers and leads them back out to the main hall.

  
* * *

  
Quick as a flash, it’s their turn to walk out onto the floor and everyone is cheering for them again. They settle in the middle of the floor, facing each other and close together this time. Serena hugs her and kisses her jaw like always. “One more to go. You’ve got this. Just us.” Bernie nods and readies herself for the music to start.

  
The piano notes begin and Serena reaches her hand up to touch it to the side of Bernie’s face, as the blonde gently takes her wrist and twists her in place.

  
_I'm trying to hold my breath_  
_Let it stay this way_  
_Can't let this moment end_

  
On the word _breath_ they reach out and cover each other’s mouth with their hand, before moving the hand to circle the other’s head and then lean away from each other, the same hands grasped between them. Bernie then turns Serena on the spot, before the brunette does the same to her. 

  
_You set off a dream in me_  
_Getting louder now_  
_Can you hear it echoing?_

  
Bernie walks away from the brunette and Serena comes up behind her and slowly wraps her arms around Bernie’s torso from behind. Bernie then pushes Serena’s hands away and they both bring their arms straight up and sway from side to side. Bernie spins on one foot where she stands and does a bent leg turning leap, before she is grabbing Serena and curling her around her own waist, then she spins with Serena lifted like that and the audience loves it.

  
_All the shine of a thousand spotlights_  
_All the stars we steal from the night sky_  
_Will never be enough_  
_Never be enough_

  
Bernie sets Serena back down gently and then she forgets to breathe at her favourite part. She holds her arm extended to the brunette while Serena does the most perfect running split jump Bernie has ever seen.

Then Serena is running at her and jumping into her arms, clinging on with all four limbs to the blonde as Bernie rotates them with Serena draped in her arms. Then they are separate again and Bernie does a small pirouette, she had struggled a lot with it, so she’s thrilled when she manages to complete both rotations.

  
_Towers of gold are still too little_  
_These hands could hold the world but it'll_  
_Never be enough_  
_Never be enough_

  
At this part of the chorus, they are side by side, as they sit down to lie prone with their knees up and their arms straight up above their heads. Then they push their legs straight and slide backwards along the floor as they move their hands to lie down at their sides. On the word _hands_ they reach across to hold hands. Serena keeps hold of Bernie’s hand as she stands up and does a cartwheel lift over Bernie’s body, before she pulls Bernie to her feet. The audience goes wild at that and Bernie has to fight not to break character and grin like an idiot.

  
They have a standing side by side sequence next, where they both pretend that there is an invisible mirror between them and they have to be each other’s reflection. Again, Bernie just hopes she’s keeping time with the brunette, but at least she can watch her this time round. As they reach the end of the song, they move their fists in a breaking motion to make the pretend mirror shatter, and then Bernie scoops Serena up in her arms and walks off with the brunette curled into her.

  
Serena buries her face in the crook of Bernie’s neck as she carries her until the last note and then stands with her in her arms. She moves her face up to kiss Bernie on the cheek and let her put her down again. The crowd gives them another standing ovation and the applause is like thunder. They even get all 10s for the routine and they are elated.

  
They bound off the floor hand in hand and rush backstage to change into their own clothes again. Before they get all the way there, Serena pulls Bernie into an alcove, hidden from view.

  
“You did it!! That was incredible.” She flings her arms around the blonde’s neck.

  
“We did it, Serena. I couldn’t have done it without you.” She leans away to look at the brunette. Before she can talk herself out of it, she brushes her lips to Serena’s and then she pulls back, eyes wide and not quite sure where she’d found the courage to do it. It’s more of a hint or a prelude than a real kiss, but it’s enough to make her back away.

  
“I’m sorry. I don’t... I shouldn’t have... I’m sorry. I think I just got a bit overwhelmed because we did so well with our dances. I’m so sorry, Serena.” 

  
“I’m not.” Serena surprises her with that. “Scratch that. I am sorry. But only that it wasn’t a proper kiss.” She moves toe to toe with Bernie and presses her mouth firmly to the blonde’s. Her hands fly up to take hold of her ridiculous curls and she smiles against Bernie’s lips when the blonde wraps her arms around Serena’s waist and kisses her right back.


	12. An Excerise Of The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personal Trainer AU.

“You’ve reached ‘Wolfe Fitness’, Bernie speaking.” The blonde answers her work mobile phone on the third ring, holding up her index finger to the client she’s currently with, in order to indicate that she’ll be back in one minute. She steps out into the cool evening air, and can hardly believe that they’ve already gotten to the time of year where you can see your own breath out in front of you. She makes a mental note to start bringing warmer layers with her from now on.

“Oh... yes... hi... I was wondering if I might enquire about your personal training packages please.” A soft, well-spoken voice says on the other end of the line.

“Yes, certainly. My fee is £30 per one-hour session. I have a few offers on, which basically means the more sessions you block-book, the cheaper they are each. I have full use of the Holby leisure centre and all equipment, which is included in your price. I can arrange an initial meet-up to discuss your motivation, your goals, which types of exercise might suit, or that you like or dislike. That sort of thing. The meet-up usually lasts about twenty to thirty minutes and it’s free of charge. I'll bring my diary to see how many sessions you want to sign up for, if you’re interested, and depending on what both of our availability is like.” Bernie kindly explains.

“Right.” There’s a nervous edge to the woman’s tone now that wasn’t there before.

“It’s really nothing to be frightened of. You’re under no obligation to book anything when we meet up. I’m not going to judge you in any way, and I definitely don’t bite.” Coming from anyone else, that little speech might have sounded patronising, but there was a warmth to this _Bernie’s_ voice that made the words sound sincere.

“Alright then. When would you like to have the meet-up?” Bernie smiles when she hears the woman’s bright, assertive tone creep back in.

“Could you send me a text or ring me back on this number in maybe fifteen minutes to let me know what suits? I’m just finishing up with a client.” Bernie tells her. “What’s your name by the way, so that I know it’s you? You’re coming up as _private number_ on my phone, you see.”

“Oh, that’ll just be because I’m calling from work. I’m Serena. Serena Campbell. I’ll contact you from my mobile next time, just so that you have my number.” Serena runs her finger along the letters and digits of the business card in front of her on the desk. _Berenice_. _That was rather an unusual name._

“No problem. I hope to hear from you soon, Serena. Take care.” Bernie hangs up once they’ve said their goodbyes.

* * *

“Serena?” Bernie sees who she thinks might be the other woman sitting by the window of the cafe where they’d agreed to meet. The brunette is about her own age she guesses, and is just watching the world go by outside, when Bernie places a hand gently on her shoulder to get her attention.

“Yep. Yes, that’s me.” She smiles up at the blonde and Bernie’s heart somersaults in her chest, because this woman was gorgeous. _Best probably not to think too much about that._ “You must be Bernie.” She waits expectantly for the blonde to reply in the affirmative, but Bernie is rendered mute by how stunning Serena is.

She swiftly shakes her head to rid it of such inappropriate thoughts and then remembers how to speak. “Uh... yeah... Bernie... that’s my name.” She slumps into the seat opposite Serena, rolling her eyes at how pathetic she sounds. “Would you like a coffee or something? My treat.” Bernie smiles at her own achievement: two complete sentences in the face of a beautiful woman.

“Yes please. That would be lovely. Thank you.” Bernie’s reward is another one of those smiles. She stops just short of setting her elbow on the table top, and resting her chin on her hand to just sigh and gape at the brunette. _Get a grip,_ she thinks to herself.

“What would you like?” Bernie has to distract herself quickly, or she’ll just spend the entire meeting staring at Serena like some hormone-ridden teenager.

“Strong and hot is all I care about.” Bernie almost slides off her chair and into a puddle on the floor, at the feet of this gorgeous creature.

“Right... I think I’ll... uh... just go order at the counter.” She needs to put some distance between them. It takes every ounce of her concentration not to run away to the counter. “Be professional, Wolfe. She’s just one woman. One absolutely breath-taking woman... No, come on. Get a hold of yourself.” Bernie tries to settle herself as she waits in the queue to place their order. She orders two strong coffees and a couple of pastries, before pointing out their table to the girl at the till, and heads back over to sit with Serena.

“Thanks again.” Serena offers as the blonde nods and sits back down.

“My pleasure.” She smiles at Serena for a few more seconds and then fishes her diary and notebook out of her bag. “Now, let’s chat about what I can do for you.” She clicks the top of her pen and eagerly awaits Serena’s reply.

“I... I don’t really know... I...” Serena falters then, and Bernie thinks that she sees a shine to her eyes that looks like unshed tears.

“It’s ok. Take your time. I’ve nowhere else to be. We can wait until we’ve had some coffee if you prefer.” Bernie sets her pen down to keep her place in the notebook, then closes it and slides it to the side. They didn’t need to do this right now. She thanks the waitress who brings everything over on a tray and sets their bit and pieces down, before asking if they need anything else and leaving them to it when they don’t. Taking a quick sip of her coffee, she hums appreciatively at the taste and warmth. “Cinnamon roll or pain au chocolat? Or we could cut them in two and have half each.”

“I probably shouldn’t.” Serena looks even sadder than before, and Bernie wonders what’s going on inside the brunette’s mind.

“Why not?” Bernie is genuinely puzzled.

“Should be trying to lose weight. Hence...” She moves her hand in Bernie’s direction.

“It’s not about starving yourself. It’s about being sensible and doing a little exercise. I can help with recipes and meal plans, but really you can eat most things in moderation. Besides, you don’t look out of shape to me.” Bernie tries not to leer; the brunette looks perfect and curvy and amazing.

“Not what Robbie said.” Serena says it so quietly, Bernie isn’t quite sure she’s heard it at all. “Before he left me.” She squeezes her eyes shut trying not to cry in front of this stranger, but a single tear comes out all the same, and she swipes angrily at it with her hand.

“I don’t know who Robbie is, and forgive me for saying, but he sounds like a fucking idiot.” Bernie smiles when the brunette huffs out a little half sob half laugh at that.

“He said I’d let myself go. That I wasn’t as trim as when we met. That I’d gone soft and wobbly. _Dumpy_ , was the word he used. And then he dumped me.” Serena fights not to cry in earnest.

“Here.” Bernie hands her the packet of tissues she always has with her. “The man must be blind; you are perfectly fine just as you are. More than fine. Really. I do teach kickboxing as well, if you fancy having him beaten up.” Serena chuckles a little at that as she shakes her head, wiping her tears with one of the tissues Bernie had given her. “He’s an asshole for making you feel like you aren’t enough. You’re beautiful.” Bernie blushes as she realises that she’s said that last bit out loud. She coughs to cover her faux pas and then keeps talking. “If you are serious about having personal training sessions with me, you have to do it for you. Not someone else. It’s about being healthy and happy, not about trying to look like those airbrushed photos in all those magazines. No one really looks like that.”

“You do.” Serena says without thinking. The blonde was her age but they couldn’t look more different: Bernie was toned and muscly and fit. Nothing like Serena...

“I have my hang-ups just like anyone else. Anyway... my point is that, whilst I will absolutely help you to look even more fabulous, and make this Robbie eat his words, you already are fabulous without any of it. The most important thing is that you _feel_ fabulous, because you are. Ok?” Bernie reaches across the table and covers Serena’s hand with hers, squeezing supportively.

“Thank you.” Serena seems buoyed by the blonde’s words and Bernie feels like she’s already made a little breakthrough.

“So, how about we split these, and then you can tell me what I can do to help you.” Bernie signals the pastries on the plates between them, pleased with herself when Serena nods and smiles once more.

* * *

Serena sees her mistake that very first morning that Bernie calls at her house to head off to the gym at stupid o’clock. They had agreed that she would give Bernie her address and she could be her alarm, just to provide extra motivation and support.

“Good God. I haven’t been up this early since I was an F1.” She practically inhales the coffee the blonde brings with her.

“You’re a doctor then, I take it.” Bernie enquires. “Me too. Well, obviously not at the moment. In another life shall we say?” The blonde is all chipper and bouncing on the balls of her feet, whereas Serena just wants to go back inside and crawl under her duvet for another good few hours.

“Hm.” She confirms. “Vascular surgeon at Holby.” She follows the blonde down her driveway towards Bernie’s car. “How come you’re not practising anymore?” She asks as they jump into the car to head off to the leisure centre.

“I was RAMC, trauma. Then I was injured in an IED attack. I wasn’t fit to serve anymore, so I was honourably discharged. I guess I lost my love for what I did when the army wouldn’t allow me back. I don’t want to just locum until I retire. So, my daughter suggested I set up a personal training business. Maybe one day I’ll go back to it.” Bernie shrugs as she starts the engine and pulls out on to the road.

“You must have seen some action. Bit of a change of pace from the NHS, I’m sure.” Serena watches the blonde as she drives, wondering if she misses medicine.

“Well, my son is an F1 at Holby too as it happens, and my ex-husband is an orthopaedic surgeon, so there’s no escaping shop talk.” Bernie indicates to turn onto the main road at the end of Serena’s street.

“Divorced then? Snap.” Serena gives her the clip notes version of Edward, and tells her about her daughter Elinor.

“Wow, you must have terrible taste in men.” Bernie says rather carelessly and instantly regrets it. “I’m so sorry, that’s totally none of my business.” An embarrassed flush rises from her chest all the way to the tip of her ears.

“You’re probably not wrong there. But you have an ex-husband too, so maybe we’re both guilty of it a little bit.” Serena tries to not look stung by the blonde’s words. “Has your taste in men improved any?”

“To the point where I stopped dating them altogether!” Bernie laughs at herself; it is the most ridiculous sound Serena has ever heard, and makes her laugh in turn. “I’m a lesbian.” Bernie says when they get their breaths back.

“Oh.” Is all Serena says.

“Not a problem, is it?” Bernie glances at the brunette out of the corner of her eye.

“No, of course not. Why would it be?” Serena frowns, confused by the question.

“No... no reason.” Bernie shrugs and they continue their journey in silence.

* * *

Once they reach the leisure centre, they both head to the changing room to put their gym clothes on. Serena gets quite the eyeful of just how _strong_ and _toned_ Bernie is, as she changes into the tightest lycra set imaginable, with her back to the brunette.

“If I look anywhere near as good as you by the end of this, you’ll have earned your money tenfold.” Serena quips as she changes into her own set of cotton joggers and the baggiest t-shirt and jumper she could find in her wardrobe. She’d forgotten she even owned trainers to be perfectly honest, and they look brand new as a result. An impulse-buy after a hasty New Year’s resolution if she remembers correctly.

Bernie waves off the compliment. “You are a different body shape that’s all. Nothing wrong with being curvy.” _Nothing wrong at all_. Bernie has to stop ogling the woman, she’s just a client, moreover, a client hell-bent on reconciling with her _boyfriend_ by all accounts. “I remember you said you enjoyed swimming. There is a pool here, if you fancy it for a few of your sessions? Great all-body workout.” Bernie tries not to visualise the brunette in swimwear as she suggests it. _God help me._

“Oh, I don’t know about that. My body is...” Bernie could kill this Robbie who’d made the brunette so insecure when she was bloody gorgeous. “I wouldn’t be comfortable.” Serena looks at her hands and won’t meet Bernie’s gaze.

“How about this? We’ll give it a go towards the end of your sessions, once you’re happier with things. You have nothing to be nervous about though, I think you look great.” Bernie knows that encouragement is part of her job, but she can’t imagine showering any other client in such praise.

“OK. I guess we could see how things go.” Serena still sounds unsure.

“We go at your pace. I’ll push you a bit, but you can do as much or as little as you feel up to. You’ll soon see that it gets easier as you go along. Right, first things first.” Bernie rubs her hands together, ready to start. “You should always stretch before a good workout. I’m sure you’re aware. And... here we go. You just copy me and shout if you’re struggling.”

* * *

Serena wonders about ten minutes into her first workout if she’s maybe been suffering from undiagnosed asthma all these years, because she’s wheezing and spluttering terribly and her chest is tight as a drum. She can’t understand how the blonde has barely broken a sweat, when Serena is certain she looks like she might die any moment. “I can’t breathe. We have to stop.”

“Alright. That’s ok.” Bernie bounds to her feet and holds out her hand to help Serena up off the floor from doing sit-ups. Serena overbalances on the way up, however, and ends up on top of Bernie who is now lying flat on the mat underneath. “You alright? Are you hurt?” Bernie moves her hands over the brunette’s body, assessing for injuries.

“No, but you must be with my fat ass falling on top of you.” Serena looks flushed and Bernie can’t tell if it’s from the exertion or embarrassment.

“You’re not fat, Serena. And I’ve had much worse things on top of me.” Bernie smiles and brushes the brunette’s hair out of her eyes, then strokes her cheek with her thumb.

She would definitely love to be in this position in an entirely different setting. She comes to her senses then and realises they need to get up, before she does anything foolish. “I... um... I... we should...” She lifts Serena effortlessly until the brunette can stand upright. “Maybe we’ll move on from the sit-ups.” She turns away from Serena so that she can’t tell the effect the brunette’s body pressed to hers has had. “How about a go on the treadmill?” She strides over to the machine, not bothering to glance back at Serena.

The brunette isn’t sure what’s just happened, to make Bernie act so strangely. “Are you ok?” Serena rubs her hand on the spot between Bernie’s shoulder blades as she comes up behind her.

“Yep. Jump on.” Bernie holds her hand out towards the treadmill. _Jesus, why did everything sound like a come-on?!_

They get through the rest of the session without further incident and Bernie is quite pleased with Serena’s general fitness, which boosts the brunette’s confidence no end.

* * *

They have been working out together for a few months and things have been easier and less complicated, now that Bernie has tried to shake off her attraction to Serena, and they get on well, seeing as they are the same age and have worked in the same profession for most of their lives.

“I was thinking about my goals for the sessions.” Serena is thrilled that her clothes are getting looser and that she can even manage to talk and exercise simultaneously now.

“Oh yeah?” Bernie glances over from the adjacent treadmill.

“Yeah. There’s a hospital event at the end of January.” That was only a few weeks away. “I’d like to buy a new dress for the evening and I’d like to have dropped a size by then. Do you think that sounds doable?”

“Well, I’d say you’re certainly well on your way. I don’t see it being an issue.” Bernie stops her treadmill, throwing a towel over to Serena who’s done the same, and rubbing at her own face and arms with her towel. “Will you be needing our sessions all the way up until then?” Bernie knows Serena could easily remember everything she’s run through with her, but she’s sad to think that they won’t see each other once Serena is ready to go solo.

“I had thought so.” Serena only then thinks about how it would be not to see Bernie all the time. She was fond of the blonde and she didn’t have many female friends. “Why don’t you come with me?” Serena asks.

“Where?” Bernie isn’t following.

“To the event. It’s a networking thing at the Holby Central Hotel. You might make some contacts who could get you back into medicine. If you wanted that. And if you don’t, it would still be a nice evening together: dinner, drinks, what have you.” Serena had planned to take Robbie, once she was happier about how she looked, but she knows she’ll enjoy it more with Bernie.

“Um... I... I’ll think about it. Text me the details. I’ll let you know.” Bernie knows it’s not a date. Of course, it’s not. But her treacherous brain wishes it would be.

“Good. Great. I’d love it if you could come.” Serena’s smile is wide and genuine. Bernie knows she’ll go, because she also knows she couldn’t refuse that smile anything.

* * *

The networking evening is only a few weeks away now, and Serena is almost at her goal-weight. She knows she’d never have come this far without Bernie and she says as much constantly.

“That was all you, Serena. I just lit the touch paper.” Bernie is trying to remain calm, because she is moments away from seeing the brunette in her swimming things. “You’ve put in all the hard work. You should be very proud of yourself. I am.” Bernie calls to her through the cubicle door, already changed into her own swimsuit.

“Thank you, Bernie. You’ve been amazing all these months, at my lowest ebb, you’re more than a personal trainer. I’d like us to stay friends.” Serena checks her reflection one more time before stepping out of the cubicle.

Bernie knows the last thing she wants from Serena Campbell is friendship, but it was probably better than nothing. She couldn’t imagine never seeing her or spending time together again. “Yeah. Friends. Sounds like a plan.” Bernie’s heart aches in ways she didn’t know it could. Then Serena comes out of her cubicle and Bernie’s jaw almost hits the tiles. “Wow. I really don’t know why you were worried about your swimsuit body. You look incredible. And I’m sure you would have from the very beginning.”

Serena beams at the compliment and is not left entirely unaffected by the blonde’s own choice of swimwear. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” She drinks in all those muscles, all that flesh, and some definitely feminine curves, with her eyes firmly fixed on Bernie. Serena recognises in that moment that her admiration for the blonde is no longer platonic. She’s attracted to Bernie.

“Let’s get out there then!” Bernie enthuses as she leads them to the pool. Serena takes a proper look at the blonde from behind, and has to admit that she has one very pert and firm backside. She finds the sway of her hips newly alluring, it’s almost hypnotic. “Serena?” The blonde calls out to her over her shoulder, when the brunette doesn’t respond to anything she’s been saying. She catches Serena staring at her with an unreadable expression on her features. “Serena, are you ok?” Serena’s attention snaps back to reality when the blonde clasps her wrist in her hand.

“Sorry, what? Did you say something?” Serena knows she hasn’t been paying attention because she’s been too busy letting her mind wander to what the blonde might look like naked. She just hopes her thoughts don’t show on her face.

“I was just asking if you wanted to grab a bite later. There’s a great little pub around the corner, which does hot food. I went last week with the woman I’m dating. It was delicious.” _Bernie was dating someone._

“You’re seeing someone?” Serena tries not to look utterly devastated by the news.

“Oh... well... I mean... it’s not been very long, and we’ve only been out a couple of times. It’s not serious or anything.” Bernie doesn’t know why she feels the need to justify herself.

“How lovely.” Serena schools her expression to some approximation of pleased for her friend. There are no mirrors around, but she knows she’s failing miserably. “You never said.” She pushes past her and sits by the edge of the pool to lower herself in. Maybe the cold water will stop her from overheating.

“I didn’t think that you would... I mean, I didn’t think it would matter –” Bernie doesn’t know what’s upset Serena, she just knows something has.

“It doesn’t.” Serena snaps and then starts to swim away from the blonde. At least if her face was wet it would cover the fact that she might just be crying.

“Serena. Hang on. What’s wrong?” Bernie swims after her and gently pulls her to stand facing her.

“Nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong?” Until just now, Serena hadn’t noticed how hollow a lie could sound.

“Please. Tell me. Have I done something to upset you?” Bernie floats closer, until they’re practically touching.

“It’s just... I...” Serena isn’t looking at her which seems like a bad sign. Bernie moves the brunette’s face round to look at her.

“I hope you know that you can tell me anything.” Bernie smiles one of those tiny lopsided smiles that Serena loves, and it’s as if it all hits her like a ton of bricks. She loves Bernie.

Serena shifts to bridge the gap; she wants to know what kissing Bernie is like. She’s fairly certain it will be amazing.

Bernie gasps when their harden nipples brush through their swimsuits. _Was Serena going to kiss her?_

A splash behind them is the thing that forces them to jump apart – apparently some young lad had just dived into the water. The water splashing over her is like a slap to the face for Serena. She looks terrified as she considers what she’d been about to do. She’d never had these kinds of feelings for a woman before, and it shows in her _deer in the headlights_ impression.

“Come on, we better start swimming.” Bernie sees the panic in Serena’s eyes and thinks it best just to forget the whole thing. She leaves the brunette standing and just staring at her as she starts swimming laps. There was no point making Serena uncomfortable for what might just be a simple curiousness on her part.

When they have finished their session, showered and changed without saying a single word, Serena decides to grab the bull by the horns. “What say we head to that pub of yours and have dinner?” They needed to at least talk about their almost-kiss. Bernie doesn’t have a chance to give her answer as Serena’s phone beeps.

“Something urgent? Work maybe?” Bernie sees all manner of emotions wash over Serena’s face.

“It’s Robbie.” Serena gazes up from her phone screen at Bernie, who’s gone alarmingly pale. “He wants to talk.”

“You should go then. That’s who you were doing all this for after all.” Bernie turns and rushes away before Serena will see she’s about to cry.

All Serena can do is watch her leave. True, this had all started because of some misguided quest to win Robbie back. Somewhere along the way, Serena isn’t exactly sure when, it had become something else entirely. Something that had nothing to do with Robbie. Something that has everything to do with Bernie.

* * *

Serena hits the _end call_ button on her phone with force, huffing out a frustrated sigh, then she immediately tries to ring Bernie again for what feels like the thousandth time. And also again, all she gets is the unsuccessful beeping tone and the infuriating automated woman telling her _the number you’ve dialled is no longer in service._

They hadn’t spoken to each other since that day at the pool, and Bernie had texted to say that Serena didn’t need any more sessions with her. Then she’d clearly gotten a new phone, because her number hasn’t worked since. And tonight was the networking event. “Goddammit, Bernie. Where are you?!” Serena asks her empty office. She’d have to head home soon to get ready, and just hope that Bernie would meet her there as previously arranged.

She finds herself pacing in the hotel lobby, hoping that Bernie will show up. She was cutting it awfully fine if she was coming.

“Serena.” She almost sobs with relief when the blonde turns up.

“Bernie. You came.” Serena’s smile is brighter than the blonde had ever seen it. “You look... amazing.” She takes in the blonde’s dress – it is a deep blue colour, and her normally untameable hair is perfectly held up at the back of her head with a clip.

“Thanks. You look beautiful too.” Bernie stands awkwardly, with her arms across her body, almost like she’s trying to hide it. Serena can’t think why.

“Shall we?” Serena links elbows with the blonde and ushers them into the function room. “I’ve tried calling you. I thought maybe we could talk about... things.” She says rather lamely.

“Actually, there’s a reason why you couldn’t reach me. There’s something I wanted to ask your advice about, I –” Bernie starts to tell her something which seems very important.

“Serena! Hey, Serena!” Robbie walks in then and starts waving at her. _What was he bloody doing here?!_

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know... he’s not supposed to be –” Serena looks apologetic and wants to go get rid of him.

“No, it’s fine. Really, Serena. You two have clearly worked everything out, and I was just being presumptuous coming here tonight. I’ll go. Leave you in peace.” Bernie is backing away; she looks close to tearing up, and Serena just wants to hold her and never let go.

“No, Bernie. Wait, please!” Serena would do anything to keep her here. To explain that she hadn’t got back together with Robbie. That she had feelings for the woman looking at her now like the floor had been pulled out from under her feet. “Where are you going? Come back!” Serena chases after her.

“Serena, please. Just don’t. Please.” Bernie pleads with her eyes, and then she’s gone.

The blonde makes sure she can’t be seen by Serena before she lets the tears fall. This had been a terrible idea. Her decision was made for her it seemed.

“Ah, Ms Campbell. I see you’ve met Ms Wolfe.” Henrik Hanssen, her CEO, corners her at the event. “I wanted to run something by you. I would very much like to open a trauma unit out of your ward. I was hoping to iron out some of the details with Ms Wolfe and yourself this evening.”

“What details?” Serena’s brow furrows, she has no clue what Henrik is talking about.

“I had asked Ms Wolfe to consider running the unit. I take it you’re aware of her credentials.” Serena nods stunned. “She was to give me her answer by the end of the week, but I was optimistic that I might have it tonight. I was rather hopeful that of the two job offers, she might accept mine.”

“What’s the other offer?” Serena’s heart pounds. _Please let it be somewhere nearby. Please let it be somewhere nearby. Oh God please, let it be somewhere nearby._

“Trauma unit opening in Kiev.” Serena gasps and has to steady herself against the wall behind her. “The Ukraine.” Henrik adds as if it’s necessary.

* * *

That would certainly explain why Bernie’s work phone was no longer in service. She wasn’t going to be a personal trainer anymore. Serena had done very little but cry over a relationship she’d never even have now. She knew no other way to get in touch with Bernie, and had no idea where she lived. Then it hits her. _Bernie’s son. He works at the hospital. He would know how to reach her._ She quickly lifts the receiver of her office phone and punches in the number for HR.

“Hello, Ms Campbell here. Could you please tell me what ward the current F1s are doing their rotation on right now? Uh huh... and are they scheduled in for today? Perfect... thank you so much.” She hangs up her work phone and heads up to Darwin.

“Ms Naylor, could I borrow whichever of your F1s is Bernie Wolfe’s son please?” Serena really hopes Jac is not angling for a row, because she’s in no mood.

“You mean Cameron Dunn. He’s over there, regaling the others with his mother’s war stories. The apple has fallen quite far from the tree with that one.” Jac knows the boy has promise, but he’s a whiny baby who expects too much special treatment for her liking.

“Excuse me, Cameron?” Serena taps him on the shoulder. “Could I have a word?”

“Yep, you sure can Serena.” The boy does have an arrogance that his mother certainly didn’t impart.

“Ms Campbell to you.” Serena narrows her eyes at him, but then remembers that she needs his help. “I need to speak to your mum; do you know where she is?”

He glances at his watch. “Oh, I’d say halfway to the airport by now.” Serena’s knees almost give out. _Bernie was leaving today. Now._

“Holby airport?” Serena dashes off when he confirms.

“Ric, I need you to watch the ward for me.” Serena catches him doing paperwork in his Keller office.

“Alright. Is it Jason? Everything ok?” Ric assesses the look on his colleague and friend’s face. “A matter of the heart, eh?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“Will you watch the ward or not?” Serena didn’t have time for this.

“Go get your woman.” Ric gives her the go-ahead.

“Thanks.” Serena starts to move but then turns sharply back. “How did you know it was a woman?”

“Please. You’re always going on about Bernie. It was hardly subtle, Serena. Go on, make sure you don’t miss her.” He shoos her off.

Serena drives as fast as she possibly can without getting herself a ticket, but she has no idea what time Bernie’s flight is or if she’s too late.

Her heart sinks through her body, as if it might fall right through onto the floor, when she scans the departure screens and sees that the only flight to the Ukraine took off twenty minutes ago. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ She’s barely back behind her steering wheel before she’s wracked with sobs. Once she’s just about composed herself, she phones Ric to let him know, and he offers to finish her shift for her so that she can go home. She gladly accepts. She would be no use to the ward in this state anyway. And Jason was heading to Alan’s after his shift, so she could cry in peace.

* * *

She thinks she might be seeing things when she pulls into her driveway to find the blonde sitting on her front step. “Bernie...” She sighs out the name and scrambles to open her car door to get to the other woman. “Bernie!” She charges at the blonde as Bernie stands up and Serena throws herself into the blonde’s waiting embrace.

Serena dispenses with any formalities, not even bothering to speak before she grabs the blonde’s head in her splayed hands and kisses her passionately. _Oh God, this was the best kiss she’d ever had. Why had she waited so long to do this?_ She moans her enjoyment into Bernie’s mouth, pleased to note similar noises from the woman in her arms. Serena finds herself spun so that her back is against the front door, pressed tightly to the wood by the blonde’s body, and she is being thoroughly kissed senseless by Bernie. Her neighbours might see but she really could not give a fuck. She gasps out of the kiss when the blonde’s fingers move under her blouse and make contact with the skin underneath.

“Let’s go inside. There are things I would like to do that I don’t want an audience for.” Serena grins and clings to the blonde, conveying her meaning with an arched eyebrow. “I’ll just go fetch my bag.” Bernie is reluctant to let her go, so they walk hand-in-hand over to Serena’s car. She grabs her coat and her bag and walks them back to the front door. It’s no mean feat to open the door with Bernie’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist, her curves flush to Serena’s back, and her mouth dropping little kisses to the brunette’s neck.

“How... uh.... oh God... ” Serena groans when Bernie nips her earlobe between her teeth. “How come you’re not on your flight to Kiev? Not that I’m complaining.” Serena is now leaning on the inside of her front door, her bag and coat thud to the floor as she drops them where she stands, and lets the blonde keep kissing her throat.

“Cam phoned. Said you were looking for me. I rescheduled my flight. I needed to know why. I guess I have my answer.” Bernie smiles against the brunette’s neck as she starts to unbutton Serena’s blouse. Her mouth moves to kiss each new area of exposed skin down Serena’s torso as her shirt edges fall away. “Is this ok?” She catches Serena’s eye as she begins to take the blouse off altogether.

“Very ok. Upstairs. Bed. Now.” Serena is ridiculously keyed up by now and she needs this. She needs Bernie naked in her bed and pressed against her head to toe. “Come on.” She grabs hold of the blonde’s hand and they basically run all the way. All those hours on the treadmill had to count for something...

“I thought you and Robbie were... um...” Bernie does not know why she’s bringing this up now.

“No. Told him to sod off at the networking thing. Let’s not talk about him.” Serena is desperate to get them both undressed. Her hands fumble at the buttons of Bernie’s shirt.

“Serena, look at me.” She covers the brunette’s trembling hands with her own. “We don’t have to do this right now...” She adds when she notes Serena seem to deflate before her eyes. “That’s not to say I don’t want to. I want to more than anything.” She holds firm when Serena tries to free her hands, to keep stripping her. “We can stop at any time, ok? You just tell me and we’ll stop. Alright?” She kisses her softly and cups Serena’s cheek. “Nothing you aren’t comfortable with. I promise.”

“I know. This is all new to me and I’m worried I won’t be very good at it, but I do want this, Bernie. I want you.” Serena surges in for another deep kiss.

“You have nothing to worry about on that front. It’s already incredible because I’m with you.” Bernie lifts Serena’s hand to her lips, kissing the knuckles and leading them to the bed.

* * *

“Oh. My. God.” Serena lies unmoving on the covers, her face turned towards the blonde beside her. They are both grinning and deliciously exhausted, a little sweaty but completely overjoyed. “That was... I mean... wow... you were fantastic... I’ve never made love like that before.”

“It was unbelievable.” Bernie agrees kissing the brunette. It's a little bit sloppy but still divine. “Are you sure you’ve never done that before, because you were amazing?” She reaches for the brunette and pulls her closer to lay her head on Bernie’s chest.

“I don’t want you to go to Kiev.” She suddenly remembers that the blonde’s flight had only been postponed, and Serena’s heart makes the request before she considers what she’s saying. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity for Bernie and it was selfish of her to even ask. “I know I have no right to ask you, but I want you to stay here, with me.”

“Serena, I’ve already accepted the post and I’m renting out my house. It’s all arranged. I don’t want to leave you, but I have an obligation.” She holds Serena even tighter when she starts to cry. “Please don’t cry. I can’t bear it. I would love nothing more than to stay here, but we’ve never even been on a proper date before. Who knows whether things would even work out between us?”

“I do. I know. This is what I want. I love you.” Serena may as well lay it all on the table.

“You don’t know that...” Bernie doesn’t want to get her hopes up, however much she adores the woman in her arms.

“I know.” Serena does sound certain. “Whatever it takes. We can go on thousands of dates. You can stay here until your tenants move out. We don’t have to sleep in the same bed, I have plenty of spare rooms. Please. I can’t lose you. Hanssen will give the go-ahead for the trauma unit; we could be a team.” She sounds so hopeful that Bernie doesn’t know how to keep telling her ‘no.’

“Serena, we can’t. It’s too soon. We –” She gets cut off by the brunette silencing her with a heated kiss.

“I can’t go with you...” Serena tries to find the strength to let her go.

“I would never ask you to. I know you have Jason and all your commitments here. It’s just not our time.” Bernie says sadly, trying to hold back her own tears.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Serena doesn’t know what else she can say.

“And I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then don’t.” Serena pleads one final time.

“I love you, Serena Campbell.” Bernie clings to Serena like her life depends on it. She’s not entirely certain that it doesn’t.

“Then stay with me.”

“I... I’ll see what I can do.” Bernie grins when Serena straddles her and kisses her resolutely. She runs her hands over the brunette’s sides and knows there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell she’s going to Kiev.

“I’ll make it worth your while.” Serena vows as she arches into Bernie’s touch, and holds her by those unruly curls when Bernie sits up to meet her, her warm mouth covers the brunette’s nipple, pulling on it lightly with her teeth. “Oh Bernie, I want you again.” Serena feels free in a way she never has to say all that she wants from Bernie, and to know that Bernie thinks her body is gorgeous and something to be worshipped. She’s never had a lover who made her feel this way.

“What a coincidence. Because I want you again too.” Bernie smirks and flips them so that she can lie the length of Serena’s body and her hand makes it way between Serena’s legs.

“Bernie, yes. Oh, please. Yes. I love you.” Serena is panting already; she was pleasantly surprised by just how turned-on Bernie made her feel.

“I love you too. God, you’re so beautiful.” She works Serena up so quickly that the first orgasm sneaks up on her and steals her breath.

“Bernie, I’m coming already.” Serena can’t find it in herself to be ashamed at the speed of her release.

Bernie thinks this might be her favourite part, watching Serena unravel. “I love you.” Just those words bring about another orgasm, hot on the heels of the first.

“Can we? Together?” Serena sees Bernie nod and she mirrors the blonde’s actions between her legs.

“Serena, oh that’s perfect. Yes. Oh yes. Please. I need you.” Bernie knows she’s babbling but she can’t seem to care. “I love you, Serena. So much. Kiss me, please.” The brunette happily complies, as their bodies meet over and over again with each gentle thrust. Their hips rut and roll as they chase the ultimate release for themselves and each other.

“I love you, Bernie.” Her hips lose the rhythm as she feels her orgasm start to take hold. “I’m –”

“I am too.” Bernie maintains eye contact as they climax at the same time. “Oh God!” She feels incredible as they both cling to the other.

“Bernie...” Serena wraps herself around the blonde’s body as they lie sated and grinning in each other’s arms. “Promise me one thing.” She listens to the gentle thudding of the blonde’s heartbeat against her ear.

“Hm?” Bernie sweeps Serena’s sticky hair off her forehead and kisses her softly.

“If we’re going to ever exercise together again, this is the only kind I’ll agree to.” Serena chuckles and Bernie joins in heartily.

“Deal.” Bernie cuddles the brunette impossibly closer.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Serena never wants her to leave.

“For as long as you’ll have me.” Bernie vows.

Bernie moves her things into Serena’s spare room the very next day. She never spends a single night sleeping in it. She never leaves again either.


	13. Finding My Way To Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because. Canon doesn't exist. 😁

The place was absolutely packed, the music was deafening, and Serena had never felt so old in her life. Then again, it wasn’t every day that one lived to see Sian Kors about to get married. Serena certainly never thought this day would ever come. She should be pleased for her friend, and she was, but almost every cell in her body wanted to scream at someone to turn the blasted music down, and then head home to a much nicer evening with a hot water bottle and Netflix. And to top it all off some drunken lout has just spilled some of his beer on her and is now trying to pat her dry with his grubby mitts.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Serena was swiftly reaching the end of her tether. “That’s quite enough of that, thank you very much.” She was trying to swat the man’s hands away from her cleavage. He was young enough to be her son!

“S'alright, darling. I’m getting married on Saturday. Not interested in you, you’re old enough to be my grandmother.” He was pissed as a fart and insisting on trying to grope her again, but Serena might be about to slap him silly just for the _grandmother_ comment.

“At ease, Corporal! This nice lady would prefer it if you keep your hands to yourself.” A blonde about Serena’s age was trying to drag the lad off her whilst making apologetic noises.

“Ay, ay Major!” The boy salutes the older woman and actually stands to attention on the dance floor.

“There’s a good lad, go back to the rest of the squad. I’ll be with you in a sec. I’m just going to buy this lady a drink and apologise. Off you go.” She nudges him in the general direction of a rather large group who were clearly on a stag night. “I’m really sorry, normally he’s a good chap, he’s just absolutely terrible at holding his liquor apparently. He didn’t hurt you, did he? I’ll have to have a word with his CO in the morning...”

“I don’t know what that means, but no harm no foul.” Serena waves off the whole thing.

“All the same, I’d like to think that our boys would have a bit more respect for women.” She cuts a strong, striking figure, clearly military, and Serena is intrigued. “Being on his stag is no excuse.” The blonde crosses her arms and Serena can practically picture her shouting orders and being generally very authoritative and imposing. “Let me get you that drink. What do you fancy?” The blonde signals the barman to place her order.

 _You._ Serena surprises herself with that thought. She’d always appreciated the female form, but she’d never been so attracted to a woman before. It was almost visceral. She doesn’t realise straight away that she hasn’t given an answer, not until the blonde spins and raises an enquiring eyebrow. “Glass of Shiraz, please.” She can’t take her eyes off the blonde, she was captivating.

“Here you are.” She hands Serena the wineglass and Serena jolts when their fingers brush. “I am really so sorry. I hope he hasn’t spoiled your evening.” She nods her goodbyes and then begins to press her way past Serena and back through the crowd to her own group. Serena instantly misses her keenly.

“How come you’re allowed on the stag night then?” She catches up with the blonde and gently squeezes her elbow to get her attention.

“Sorry, what?” The blonde points to her ear in the universal sign for _I can’t hear a bloody word you’re saying!_ Her group were nearer the speakers which were pulsing out the terrible music, and one could barely hear themselves think.

“HOW COME YOU’RE ALLOWED ON THE STAG NIGHT THEN?” Serena basically screams into the blonde’s ear but she still shakes her head, and obviously can’t hear her. She raises her index finger in a _gimme one sec_ gesture before miming something to one of the guys in her group. Then she takes Serena by the hand and leads them outside.

“Ah, that’s better. Christ, can you check if my ears are bleeding?” She chuckles and Serena laughs too, all high-pitched and giggly like a soppy teenager. “I’m too old for this, I think I’ll just stay home with my blanket and a good book from now on. Anyway, what were you saying? Now that I can actually hear you...” Her full attention is now on Serena and she sincerely wishes she had something more poignant planned to say.

“I was just asking how you got an invite to a stag party.” She says it quietly, cursing herself for being so old and pathetic. The blonde doesn’t seem to think so as she smiles warmly before answering.

“I’m like one of the lads I suppose. We all served together. Well, they served and I was RAMC. Leave no man, or woman, behind and what have you. I’m old enough to be their mother, but they always include me. Even when I desperately wish they wouldn’t. How about you? Did I see you with that hen party, I think your bride-to-be might have pinched my backside a time or two?” Serena doesn’t know what to react to first: she’s beyond embarrassed at Sian's inappropriate behaviour, but she also feels something close to giddiness when she thinks that the blonde might have noticed her. “I’m Bernie, by the way. Bernie Wolfe.” She extends her hand to shake Serena’s firmly.

“Serena Campbell. Are you Berenice Wolfe? The trauma surgeon?” Serena knew her by reputation, and there would hardly be more than one Bernie Wolfe who served in the RAMC.

“The very same.” Bernie hopes that if this attractive brunette has heard of her, that it’s mostly good things. “Are you a surgeon?”

“Yep. Vascular.” Serena takes a gulp of her wine, and realises that the blonde doesn’t have a drink. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’d rather stay out here, to be honest. It’s a little too noisy for me in there. Probably head home in a minute.” Bernie smiles shyly.

“No, stay.” Serena surprises them both with that. “I mean... don’t stay on my account. I should get back to my friends anyway.” She turns away from the blonde and looks skywards thinking _what the fuck did you say that for?!_ Then she starts to make her way back inside, burning with shame.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, she feels her heel stick into the earth between two slabs on the ground. Suddenly she’s lost her balance completely and is hurtling face first towards the concrete. The inevitable smack doesn’t come however, when she feels two strong arms around her middle holding her up.

“You ok?” Bernie whispers into her ear, her body flush with Serena’s, holding her steady.

“I am now.” She turns in the embrace to look at her saviour. “My hero.” She tucks Bernie’s curls behind her ear, and smiles when she notes that their faces are almost touching.

“Here you are!” Sian’s voice bursts the bubble and breaks them apart. “Are you coming? We’re going on somewhere else.”

“Um... actually, Sian. I’m tired. Long shift. I think I might just nip to the taxi place at the end of the road and go home.” Serena fakes a yawn for effect.

“You sure?” Sian pouts but she acquiesces when Serena nods, and lets the brunette kiss her on both cheeks with a quick hug goodnight.

“Have fun and be good.” Serena teases and makes sure Sian is safely back with the other hens before she makes a move to head off in search of a taxi.

“Wait.” Bernie calls out to her. “Let me just tell the lads I’m heading on, and I’ll walk you to the taxi rank. Don’t go anywhere.” She rushes off inside and is back in a flash. “Lead the way.” She lets Serena link elbows with her as they start to walk.

“Are you home for long or do you have to head off to some far-flung land again soon?” Serena elaborates when Bernie’s face scrunches in adorable confusion. “The RAMC?”

“Oh no. I don’t serve anymore. The boys will be shipping back out sometime after the wedding, but I’m home for good. I’ve got a job at Holby City, general surgery.”

“Keller ward?” Serena inquires.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“I’m on AAU at Holby.” Serena explains. “Won’t that be a little dull, hardly the best use of your skills?”

“I... uh... don’t mind. Only took the job to be at home permanently. Want to spend time with my kids. They hadn’t really been speaking to me since the divorce.” Bernie explains.

“I’ll speak to Henrik, see if he can’t put you in the ED or something. You’ll die of boredom otherwise.”

“Something tells me it just got a lot more interesting.” Bernie catches Serena’s eye and tries furiously to hide her blushes. “Anyway, here we are.” Serena hadn’t even noticed that they’d already reached their destination. She feels deeply disappointed that they’d have to part ways now.

“Where do you live?” Bernie asks before she thinks better of it. “That’s quite near me.” Bernie gives the brunette her address.

“Why don’t we share a cab then?” Serena drags the blonde by the hand into the backseat after her. Bernie tries not to read too much into it when Serena keeps hold of her hand, their fingers interlaced on the seat between them.

“Um... I was wondering –”

“Would you like to –”

They both start to speak at once and then laugh nervously. Serena lets Bernie go first.

“I know it’s short notice and we only just met... but I was just wondering if... uh... you might like to accompany me to Corporal Jones’ wedding... on Saturday. The meal and the evening part, I mean. I promise we’ll all be on our best behaviour. This time.”

“Oh, I –” Serena is taken a little off guard by the offer.

“Forget it. Forget I asked. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have...” Bernie wishes she could just jump out of the moving taxi to get away.

“I’d love to.” Serena puts her out of her misery.

“You would?” Bernie turns her head sharply to look at the brunette beside her who seems to be nodding enthusiastically. “Great. That’s great!” Bernie could not be happier.

“On one condition.” Serena challenges.

“Name it.” Bernie is quite sure she’d do it, no matter what it was.

“Would you come with me to the evening part of Sian’s wedding? It’s next month on the eighteenth.” Serena asks.

“Alright. I’d like that very much.” Bernie willingly agrees. “What were you about to say before?” They are just pulling in to Serena’s driveway.

“Would you like to come in? For a nightcap.” Serena says it in a rush, just to make sure that she asks.

“Um... I... yes... ok.” Bernie smiles when Serena does. “Just the one mind, I might circle back to make sure the boys, particularly the groom, get back home safe.”

“You are too good to be true, Bernie Wolfe.” Serena leads them to the front door and quickly opens it, pulling the blonde into her hallway. “Make yourself at home.” Serena glides around the ground floor, turning on lights and closing curtains and blinds. “Drink?” She calls over her shoulder at the blonde on the couch, as she heads towards the kitchen.

“Hm. Just a cuppa maybe.” Bernie was too old to start dealing with a hangover tomorrow morning.

“Alright, I’ll put the kettle on and join you in that.” Serena smiles and sets to the task. Bernie leans back against the sofa cushions and watches the brunette with her head and neck stretched in the direction of the kitchen. She looks fondly at Serena as she potters about making them tea. “Milk? Sugar?” She catches Bernie staring at her and returns the fond gaze when the blonde’s cheeks turn bright pink.

“Just a small drop of milk for me please.” Bernie tries to hide her face with all those messy curls of hers.

“Here we are.” Serena sets a tray on the coffee table in front of the couch, loaded with two cups of tea and some biscuits and nibbles.

“Thank you.” Bernie smiles and cradles the cup Serena offers in her hands, glad of the warmth it provides.

“Eat anything you want.” Serena indicates the plate of goodies on the tray as she sits right beside the blonde on the sofa. “Actually, have you had dinner? We could order in if you’re hungry.” Serena feels like she’s known Bernie for years and wants to keep her here as long as possible.

“Let me just contact the lads, see what they’re up to and if they’ll be heading home soon.” She fishes her phone out of her jeans pocket and texts the most sensible of the squad, hoping she’s more likely to get a reply then. The minutes that pass as they wait for Bernie’s phone to buzz seem to stretch out interminably. Both sigh in relief when it goes off, with one unread SMS. “They’ve gone back to the barracks for an after party, whatever that is. Looks like you’re stuck with me.” She glances up hopefully from her phone screen, the light beautifully accentuates all of her features. “Unless... perhaps it’s late. Maybe you’d like to have the house to yourself.” She tries to stand up and leave, but Serena pulls her back down to sit.

“It’s not that late. And I didn’t have time to eat before I met Sian and the girls. Stay for something to eat. Please.” Serena grins when Bernie readily agrees. “What shall we have?” She pulls out various menus from the drawer of the phone table by the door and scatters them across the coffee table top. “Let’s see, we have Chinese, Indian, fish and chips, pizza....”

“I don’t mind. What’s your favourite?” Bernie offers kindly.

“How about pizza? We could get come chips or wedges and garlic bread. I have some raspberry ripple ice cream for afters.”

“You had me at ‘raspberry ripple’.” Bernie grins and Serena does too.

“What size pizza and toppings would you like?”

“I’ll have a medium Hawaiian please.” Serena screws up her nose. “What?”

“Pineapple on pizza.” Serena shudders at the thought. “I don’t think this is going to work.” She says it completely seriously and Bernie tries not to look wounded. Then she sees Serena trying to suppress a laugh and the corners of her mouth quirk as if she can’t help smiling. “I’m kidding!” She lets the laugh out then, full and joyous. It’s the most amazing thing Bernie’s ever heard.

“You...” Bernie reaches over and swats her arm playfully and then grabs her and, she has no idea why, starts tickling her into submission. Serena’s breathless pleas and giggles spurring her on.

“No. Bernie. Stop. Please. I can’t breathe.” Serena tries to sound cross but she’s actually enjoying the closeness and she hasn’t laughed this much in a long time.

“Do you surrender?” Bernie’s face is lit up with mirth. She can’t remember when she’d last had this much fun.

“Yes. Yes. I surrender. I SURRENDER.” Serena squeals with pure glee.

“I can have pineapple on my pizza?” Bernie teases once more, not able to resist.

“Yes. Anything you want.” Serena suddenly realises that Bernie has her pinned to the sofa as she tickles her, and that the blonde’s knee is right between her thighs. She gasps as she takes stock of their position and all the points of contact along their bodies. Her reaction seems to make Bernie realise the exact same thing.

“Uh... I... sorry...” Bernie springs away to sit upright again.

“It’s ok.” Serena sits up too and tucks a stray strand of blonde waves behind Bernie’s ear. “I’m having a great time with you. Much more than at the hen party. Although don’t tell Sian I said that.” She mock whispers that last part with her hand against her mouth and a cheeky wink.

“I am too. With you.” Bernie concedes timidly.

“Right, let me order us some food.” Serena phones in what they want and says it shouldn’t be too long. “It’s a little chilly in here. Are you cold?” She tugs the blanket off the back of the sofa and drapes it over both of them.

“Here.” Bernie pulls on Serena’s hand and tucks her into the crook of her arm, rubbing her hand up and down her bare arm to warm her up. “Better?” The word makes a wisp of Serena’s hair move, as Bernie looks at the brunette in her arms and relishes in Serena’s body curled into her side.

“Much.” Serena cuddles closer, if that’s even possible.

“If you want to nip upstairs and put something warmer on, I’ll pay for the food if you’re not back down when it arrives.” Bernie kindly offers.

“I’m comfy now though.” Serena snuggles her blonde pillow.

“I’m not complaining.” Bernie squeezes her tighter.

“I might just put my pyjamas on. If you don’t mind?” Serena doesn’t want to get up.

“I’ll be here.” Bernie promises.

When Serena comes back downstairs, she has on a pair of fluffy pyjamas bottoms, a baggy t-shirt and a dressing gown and warm slippers. Bernie thinks she’s the cutest thing she’s ever laid eyes on. Without all her makeup on and her hair a little ruffled she is absolutely gorgeous.

“The food’s here and I’m just trying to find everything.” Bernie is opening and closing kitchen cupboards searching for what they need.

“Here, you go sit down and I’ll do that.” Serena ushers her out to the couch again.

They eat and chat and watch rubbish on Serena’s TV until the brunette has cuddled up to Bernie under the blanket again and is fast asleep. When Bernie looks down to see Serena sleeping soundly, she can’t help smiling. She tries to shift to get up and leave, but Serena stirs and tightens her grip on the blonde.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just going to go.” Bernie sits them up again.

“You could stay.” Serena stretches and yawns. Her dressing gown has fallen open, meaning that Bernie can see that she’s braless underneath her t-shirt. She averts her eyes, trying not to leer. “I have some pyjamas that would probably fit you.” Serena doesn’t notice that Bernie had just been staring at her chest.

“I don’t want to take up any more of your time. Let me just tidy this all away for you and I’ll let myself out. You go on up to bed if you’re tired.” Bernie starts to clear their dinner things.

“Stay with me, please. I know we only met a few hours ago, but I feel like I’ve always known you. I’ve really enjoyed tonight, and I don’t want you to go home. I have plenty of space, the spare room is already made up.”

“I... ok... I’ve had a great time tonight too and if I won’t be imposing –”

“You aren’t.” Serena reassures her. “Give me a hand with all this and then I’ll show you up.”

Once they’re upstairs, Bernie takes the neatly folded pyjamas that Serena offers her and goes into the brunette’s ensuite to put them on.

“There are some spare toothbrushes in the cabinet above the sink.” Serena informs her through the locked door. Bernie grabs one and brushes her teeth before slipping into the pyjamas.

“They’re a little big.” Bernie does look a bit swamped in them. “Only because I don’t have all your lovely curves.” She flushes furiously when she realises she’s said it out loud. Serena can’t stop herself from beaming at the praise.

“The spare room is just next-door." Serena shows her in. “Just holler if you need anything. I’m so glad we bumped into each other tonight. Goodnight, Bernie.” She plants a warm, lingering kiss to the blonde’s cheek, which Bernie feels tingling her skin long after it’s gone.

“Me too. Goodnight, Serena. Thank you for letting me stay.”

* * *

They cross paths a few times at the hospital after the night Bernie stays over, but they don’t really get much of a chance to talk before the Saturday night of their first wedding date. Serena tries to shake off the notion that it might be a date, she doesn’t even know if Bernie’s attracted to women, but the idea that it could be a date won’t leave her mind. What really does not help is that Bernie has worn full dress uniform to the event.

“Oh, my good Jesus! Fuck me, I think she might just be the sexist thing I’ve ever seen.” Serena is unashamedly eyeing her from head to toe, and very much enjoying the view.

Bernie turns towards her, the distinct feeling that she’s being watched makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. When she catches sight of the brunette, she thinks she might just keel over. Serena is wearing a halter neck floor-length dress, covered entirely in sequins, in a colour which she will later learn is named _midnight blue._ There is a slit up one leg of the dress, which stops just above Serena’s knee and makes Bernie’s mouth go bone-dry. “Oh, my lord, she looks phenomenal.” Bernie says under her breath as she makes her way over to Serena. “Hi Serena, you look beautiful.” Bernie lets the brunette kiss her softly on the cheek and tries not to swoon when she inhales a lungful of Serena’s perfume.

“As do you. Very dashing, Major.” She makes a show of running her finger along the lapel of Bernie’s dress blazer and squeezing her shapely bicep admiringly.

“Ma’am.” The young groom steals their attention away from each other. “And Ma’am. I would very much like to apologise for my disrespectful actions on the night of my stag party. It will never happen again. And thank you for accompanying Major Wolfe here this evening. I hope you both have a lovely time.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you and congratulations.” Serena smiles at the young man, there were no hard feelings.

“If you’ll excuse me. My wife is waiting.” He grins on the word _wife_ and takes his leave. “Ms Campbell. Major Wolfe.” He nods to each in turn and heads back to his bride.

“I think we’re at this table over here.” Bernie guides Serena with a hand at the small of her back over to their seats. She pulls Serena’s chair out a little way and pushes it under her as she sits, before taking her place next to the brunette.

They chat mainly to each other as they eat the delicious meal and imbibe of the extensive wine list until they are full and a tad merry.

“This is all so lovely. Thank you for inviting me.” Serena is thoroughly enjoying herself and the company.

“I couldn’t imagine myself enjoying this anywhere near as much if I’d been with anyone else or come on my own, so thank you for being here with me.”

“Bernie! How the hell are you?!” A younger brunette, also in dress uniform, grabs hold of both of the blonde’s shoulders, squeezing just a little.

“Very well thanks. Alex Dawson, this is Serena Campbell. Alex is my... um... ex-girlfriend and Serena is my... we’re friends. We work at the same hospital.” Bernie makes the introductions.

“Nice to meet you.” Alex shakes Serena’s hand. “Maybe we’ll get a dance together later, Bern. Or a drink and a catch-up?”

“Oh, I don’t think... maybe another night, eh?” Bernie tries to politely turn her down. Alex seems to take the hint and leaves. “Sorry about that. I called things off a while ago, thought she’d accepted it but perhaps not.” Bernie sees Alex watching them a little too closely for her liking.

Well, at least Serena had an answer to whether or not Bernie was interested in women. She also had a sinking feeling that she was not the blonde’s type, judging by this _Alex_ person. A plan forms in her mind, which would help Bernie and might give Serena a chance to test her theory out. “What if we made sure she knows that you’re spoken for?”

“But I’m not.” Bernie isn’t following.

“She doesn’t know that.” Serena has a wicked glint in her eye, and Bernie finally understands.

“You mean that you and I should pretend to...” Bernie thinks that just might work, and even a fake relationship with Serena would be too good to pass up.

“Dance with me, soldier.” Serena stands, holding her hand out to the blonde and pulling her to her feet.

“Yes ma’am.” Bernie whispers against the shell of Serena’s closest ear, making the brunette shiver deliciously. The blonde notes with a certain satisfaction the goosebumps rise on Serena’s flesh, saying a silent prayer that she might be the cause.

Bernie counts her lucky stars that the song changes from whatever noise had been playing to a slower, romantic one that she actually recognises. She twirls Serena to face her and wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist, as Serena folds hers around Bernie’s neck. There is barely a breath between their bodies, and Bernie thinks this is what heaven would be like.

“This is nice.” Serena has her temple resting against Bernie’s and says it just to her.

“It is.” Bernie sways them in place and closes her eyes, trying to commit it all to memory in her mind’s eye.

“I think it’s working; she looks furious.” Serena quietly lets Bernie know.

“Who?” Bernie opens her eyes again; not sure they’re still having the same conversation.

“Your ex.” Serena clarifies.

Bernie stops moving to the music then. _This wasn’t real._ Serena had just been putting on a show to make sure Alex got the message. The spell is broken when it suddenly feels like there is a weight inside Bernie’s chest that makes her lungs burn and her heart crumble.

“I think I might just step outside for some air.” Bernie turns and walks away in as measured a way as she can, wishing she could just run. Run away and never look back. She feels the cool night air sting at her cheeks and is trying desperately to suck in gulps of oxygen. Her knuckles are white and painful as she clutches the railing in front of her on the steps that lead down to the gardens. _Don’t cry. Don’t cry. For God’s sake. Do. Not. Cry._

“Bernie?” Of course, Serena had followed her out. There was no escape. “Is everything alright?”

“Peachy.” Bernie tries to keep her tone conversational, but even she can hear it’s laced with sarcasm and anguish.

“Oh really?” Even without turning around, Bernie instinctively knows that Serena’s arms are folded and at least one of her eyebrows is probably arched. “What is going on?”

“Bernie?” _Jesus fucking Christ!_ Alex had come outside after her too. “You ok?”

“I’m fine!” Bernie startles them all by shouting. “I’d be even better if everyone would just leave me the fuck alone.” She says it low through gritted teeth and only she hears.

“Are you sure?” Serena is right beside her now, rubbing her hand in circles on the blonde’s back.

Bernie looks up at the brunette and words fail her. She can’t tell Serena that she’s heartbroken that what had just happened in there was all make-believe. Her vision hazes as she bites her lip, fighting not to let the tears fall.

“Bernie, could we talk? Please.” Alex’s voice makes them both spin to face her.

“I’ll give you two some space.” Serena moves to go back inside, but Bernie has hold of her elbow.

“I’ll be in shortly.” She waits until the brunette nods slowly and goes back inside. “Alex, I don’t mean to be rude, but Serena is my date for this evening and nothing is going to happen between you and I. We broke up for a reason. That reason still stands. I’m sorry.”

“Bernie, please. Don’t do this. I miss you. I want us to try again.” She attempts to kiss the blonde, but Bernie pulls out of the fumbled clinch.

“Alex, I said no!” Bernie walks back into the throng of people on the dance floor wishing she could just hide in here forever.

“You two aren’t –” Serena corners her to make sure she’s alright.

“No.” Bernie is resolute.

“Come on, let’s dance.” Serena tries to coax her out of her melancholy.

“I don’t feel much like dancing.” Bernie’s mood has plummeted through the floor.

“Let’s go upstairs then. We can put our pyjamas on, watch something silly on TV and order obscene amounts of raspberry ripple ice cream from room service. We could bathe in the stuff if you like.”

Bernie chuckles a bit at that. “Sounds like heaven.” She allows Serena to drag them up to their room. She’d almost forgotten that there was only one bed until she sees it again. “I am sorry about the mix-up; I did ask for a twin room. I’ll take the couch if you want.”

“I want nothing of the sort!” Serena holds her hand to her chest in mock indignation. “We’re two grown women, perfectly capable of sharing a bed.”

Once they’re both ready, they slip under the covers and find that they are both much sleepier than they’d first thought. Bernie tries and fails miserably to stifle a yawn. “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was that tired.”

“Bernie?”

“Hm?”

“I’m cold.” Serena pouts adorably and bats her eyelashes, making Bernie laugh out loud.

“Come on then.” She opens her arms for the brunette to snuggle in, and smiles when Serena settles into her side.

“Bernie?”

“Yes, Serena.”

“I had a great time with you tonight. It seems I always do.” Bernie can hear in her voice that she’s most asleep.

“Me too, Serena. Me too.” Bernie feels her eyelids starts to droop and it’s only moments before they’re both asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

Bernie’s heart had flipped over in her chest when she’d awoken the next morning, with Serena still curled up in her arms. She needs to get this ridiculous crush on the brunette under control, before she embarrassed them both, and potentially lost the first proper friend she’s had in ages.

Serena had woken up slowly, fully expecting to still be in Bernie’s strong embrace. She is disappointed when she blinks a few times and finds only mattress where the blonde should be. Sitting up slightly she sees Bernie's outline in the darkness of the room. She’s perched on the edge of the mattress with her back to Serena.

“Come back to bed. It’s still early.” Serena pats the spot beside her, trying to entice the blonde to get back under the covers and provide some more of that wonderful body heat.

“I was just thinking of going for a run.” Bernie lies, she hadn’t even brought her running gear with her.

“I’d rather you got warm by cuddling me.” Serena tempts her back to her.

“I should be heading home soon.” Bernie stands to go into the bathroom for a shower.

“Bernie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She says it too quickly and won’t look at Serena.

“Then come back to bed. It’s still dark outside.” Serena hears an anxious edge to her own voice. She knows something is playing on Bernie’s mind, she just can’t figure out what. “Please.” That one word from Serena is all it takes to break her walls back down again.

“Come here you.” She holds Serena to her once more, thinking that she will take whatever she can get. If she can’t have Serena the way she wants, then she’ll make do with these small moments and touches, until hopefully it’s enough for them to just be friends.

“Have dinner with me tonight.” Serena manages to ask before tiredness seeps into her bones again.

“We’ll see.” Bernie knows that would be a terrible idea, but she also knows she can’t deny any request from the brunette in her arms.

* * *

Serena was tactile at the best of times, but now that she’s has most of their two bottles of Shiraz to herself, it’s bordering on heavy petting. Bernie tries to make her keep her hands to herself, because surely she’s not aware of the effect it’s having. The blonde is only a few more _accidental_ slides of Serena’s hand higher than would be considered friendly on her thigh, or brush of fingertips to the side of her neck away from swiping everything off the table and taking the brunette right here in the restaurant. _Since when did Serena need to whisper everything into her ear?_ The brunette’s warm breath tickling her skin was doing things to her body and heart rate that were setting her on edge, and making for an embarrassing mess in her underwear. She never should have agreed to dinner.

“How about we head back to mine for dessert?” If the words weren’t quite so slurred, and the brunette was actually able to focus on Bernie’s face, then that invitation might have just been Bernie’s undoing. As it stood, she couldn’t take advantage of her friend when she was clearly a bit sloshed.

Little did she know that Serena had needed more than a few drops of Dutch courage to make the offer, but she knows she’s taken it too far when she can barely stand. “Oops!” She hiccups out the exclamation, as she almost trips over her own feet.

“Let’s get you home.” Bernie keeps a firm hold on the brunette to keep her upright.

“I think I might have drinken too much. Drinken, that’s a funny word. Is that a word?” Serena gets the giggles then as Bernie shuffles them both into a taxi. “You are very pretty.” Serena grabs Bernie’s face under the chin and locks eyes with her, completely serious all of a sudden.

“Thank you, Serena. So are you.” _Why does this feel like the longest taxi ride ever? Serena’s home wasn’t this far from the restaurant, surely._

“I’m drunk.” Serena announces, as if that’s somehow news.

“Yes, I do believe you are, Ms Campbell.” Bernie watches her fondly, as she fights with her door key to get it into the lock.

“I think we might be at the wrong house.” Serena stage whispers, probably waking the whole street.

“Nope, this is definitely where you live, Serena. Here let me have a go.” Bernie opens the door on the first try.

“Show-off.” Serena staggers into the hall, throwing off her coat and shoes and dumping her bag on the floor. She seems to forget Bernie is there as she starts trying to strip, but gets her foot stuck in her trousers. Bernie catches her just before she falls, scoops her up in her arms and carries her upstairs.

“Let’s get you to bed, eh?” Bernie smiles at the brunette in her arms.

“Cheeky.” Serena gets another fit of the giggles then.

Bernie takes off only what would be appropriate of Serena’s clothes, and then tucks the brunette up safely in her own bed. She makes sure the rest of the house is secure and brings Serena’s bag, a large glass of water and some painkillers up to the brunette’s bedroom. She sets them down quietly once she sees Serena is fast asleep. Leaning in, she drops a quick kiss to Serena’s forehead, before whispering goodnight and closing the front door softly on her way out.

The brunette wakes the next morning to feeling like someone was using her brain as a drum. She only has flashes of parts of the previous evening, and she groans when she sees the water and paracetamol on her bedside table. _Bernie must have seen her in a right state._ She buries her face in her pillow with a muffled scream, and hopes she hasn’t done anything too embarrassing. She also knows that she needs to do something about her burgeoning feelings for the blonde. _Preferably when you’re sober, Campbell,_ she mutters to herself with a curse, and vows to talk to Bernie. Soon.

* * *

“Morning.” Bernie startles Serena, who is doing paperwork in the office, when she appears at the door. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump. Mr Hanssen said that you could do with an extra pair of hands.” Bernie holds up said hands, as some form of pointless demonstration, and then quickly stuffs them back in her pockets, when she realises how stupid she’s being.

“That would be great. Yes please.” Serena sighs as she thinks about how much work they had to get through. “Mr Hughes in bed four needs scans results, could you chase those up? Mrs Taylor in bed two could do with a second option, I’m thinking peritonitis, get one of the nurses to run a line of fluid and antibiotics just in case. Oh, but first, I’m just about to scrub in for what looks to me like a pseudo-aneurism of the splenic artery...” Serena passes the iPad to Bernie who concurs. “...could use you in there.”

“Let’s do this.” Bernie is as equally excited at the prospect of the procedure as she is at finally working with Serena.

It’s a long and gruelling surgery, but between them they come out successful. Bernie had loved watching Serena work and the same was true for Serena getting to see Bernie at her finest.

“It was touch and go in there.” Serena sags into the blonde’s side as they walk back up to the ward.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Bernie puts an arm around the brunette’s shoulders and pulls her closer.

“Joint effort I’d say.” Serena steps out in front of the blonde and holds up her open palm. “Girl power?” She nods at her own hand, she was clearly looking for a high five and Bernie can’t help laughing.

“Yes, definitely.” She high fives Serena and then they are left just staring at each other, their fingers laced in mid-air. It could be seconds, or it could be hours later, that Serena crowds the blonde and moves their joined hands down to the side, their fingers still linked. Bernie is disorientated by the brunette’s sudden proximity and thinks that surely Serena can hear her heart thumping against her ribs. She shivers, but not from cold, when Serena brings her hand up to touch Bernie’s cheek, brushing it along her cheekbone. “Serena...” Bernie is almost certain that the brunette’s eyes flicker down to her mouth and then back up to look her in the eye again.

“Ms Campbell!” They are forced apart when Fletch comes searching for the consultant. “It’s Mrs Taylor, she’s doubled over in agony. She seems to be deteriorating even with the IV.”

“Where is the pain worst, Fletch?” Bernie chimes in.

“Lower right-side.”

“Appendix.” Serena and Bernie say in unison, turning to each other again.

“It presents with a lot of the same symptoms as peritonitis. Prep her now, Fletch. And page the anaesthetist. We need to get it out before it ruptures.” Serena heads back towards theatre to scrub back in.

“Right away, boss.” Fletch rushes back to the patient.

“Need a hand?” Bernie runs after the brunette.

“I’ve got it. You should get back to the ward, make rounds. I shouldn’t be too long.” Serena rubs the blonde’s upper arm as a thank you for the offer. “Let’s have dinner at mine later.” Serena says hopefully.

“Alright. I’ll see you on the other side.” Bernie gives Serena’s hand one last squeeze before they both head in opposite directions.

There are few complications with Mrs Taylor’s appendectomy and Serena manages to get the appendix removed just in time. Bernie gets called away to an RTC while she’s in theatre though, and they never do get to have dinner that evening. If Serena didn’t know better, she’d swear that the cosmos was trying its upmost to keep them from talking about their growing attraction...

* * *

Bernie had been such a lifesaver (literally and figuratively) on AAU, that Serena has Henrik tortured trying to make the move permanent. She can’t deny that she wants the blonde close for reasons that are not quite all work-related. It was in the interest of the whole hospital to use resources in the most effective way after all, and it was high time that they revisited the idea of a trauma unit, given that they were decidedly lagging behind other hospitals in the area in that department. She doesn’t add _and I fancy the pants off her,_ as she knows that is hardly likely to be a swaying argument for the strait-laced Suede.

“Serena, is your interest in Ms Wolfe strictly professional?” Henrik blindsides her by reading her mind, it seems.

“What? Of course it is! Just what exactly are you insinuating?” Serena’s feathers are well and truly ruffled.

“I’m merely stating that perhaps it might be prudent to declare your feelings before gifting her an entire trauma unit.” Henrik was so on the money that it was bloody infuriating.

“I... I hadn’t considered... you don’t think she feels the same way?” Serena’s fingers fly to her pendant worrying it back and forth.

“That is a conversation you would need to have with Ms Wolfe. For what it’s worth, I wish you both every happiness.”

“Yes. Right. Thank you.” Serena is in a daze as she makes her way down to AAU. _Perhaps Bernie won’t feel the same way as she does._ Serena is beginning to think that maybe she shouldn’t say anything to the blonde.

Can’t get enough of me, huh?” Bernie quips as Serena steps off the lift. She has no idea how close to the bone her comment is.

“What? Why would you think that?” Serena scurries on ahead, leaving the blonde nipping at her heels. _Has Bernie guessed that she has feelings for her?_

“I only meant that I seem to be needed on AAU quite a bit of late. It’s not a bad thing... I like working with you.” She turns suddenly shy, using her mop of curls to hide behind.

Serena’s eyes soften and she lets the blonde into the office ahead of her. “Bernie... could we maybe... there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.” She sits on the sofa next to the door and rubs the spot beside her, wordlessly asking for Bernie to sit down.

“What is it? Is everything alright?” Bernie takes one of Serena’s hands in hers, her forehead is scrunched with worry.

“I... yes... it’s nothing bad... at least I hope you won’t think it is... I... um...” Serena falters when she happens to catch Bernie looking at her with those big soft brown eyes of hers. She can’t tell her here. Not like this. And so, she lies. “It about Sian’s wedding next weekend –”

“Oh, um have you found a date? You don’t want me to come, is that it?” Bernie tries not to look upset.

“No, no. That’s not it.” Serena thinks she sees a flash of relief on the blonde’s face. “I just wanted to let you know that I couldn’t get us separate rooms, and there was only a double left, so we’ll have to bunk up together.”

“Is that all? Sure! That will be fine, it was OK last time, right?” Bernie smiles, that wasn’t bad news in the least. So she’d have to keep her feelings and her hands to herself, but she was almost used to that now.

“Good. Great. That’s all it was.” Serena’s smile is forced. Now she’d just have to find a way to tell Bernie the truth before next weekend.

* * *

She does not find a way and now the wedding day is upon them. Serena had arrived first thing to get ready for the ceremony, and Bernie would join her later for the meal onwards.

“Tell me this, Serena.” Sian is sitting beside her, they’re both getting their hair and makeup done at the hotel’s salon. “When are you going to speak to Bernie?” Serena feigns a look of innocence in the mirror. “Better yet, when are you going to grab her and snog her face off?”

“Sian!” Serena feels like she could die on the spot.

“Don’t you dare deny it. I may be spoken for now, but I know undeniable sexual chemistry when I see it.”

“I... um... am I really that transparent?” Serena blushes when Sian nods vehemently in their reflection.

“Consider it my wedding present. Kiss her until her toes curls and don’t waste that double room I know you booked on purpose.” Serena’s head snaps round to her friend, who looks knowingly right back.

The ceremony goes off without a hitch. Serena is relieved that none of Sian’s previous conquests barge in when the _is there_ _anyone who knows of any lawful impediment why these two should not be married?_ passes without comment. She is as pleased as anyone when Sian and Richard are pronounced husband and wife, although she could have done with a touch less tongue up-close when the registrar announces that Richard may kiss the bride.

And then there are the endless photos and more smooching from the happy couple, which barely leaves Serena any time to fret about Bernie’s imminent arrival. In fact, it takes her completely by surprise when she sees the blonde saunter into the reception room looking around nervously for her.

“Showtime.” Sian whispers in her ear and practically pushes her into the blonde’s path.

“Oh, hi. There you are.” Bernie looks relieved and terrified at once when she sees Serena heading towards her. “Let me just go wish the bride and groom all the best.” Bernie fails to contain a run in Sian’s direction. If Serena cared to consider it, she’d think the blonde was frightened to be alone with her. _But why would that be?_ _Unless... she knows...._

Bernie passes herself for a few moments with Sian and Richard, before having to go back to Serena.

“You look really beautiful.” She says, taking in Serena’s maid of honour dress.

“You too.” Serena stands side-by-side with the blonde; they both must look like the two most awkward wedding guests in the room.

“Ceremony go ok? No heartbroken ex-lovers throwing themselves at Sian’s feet?” Bernie teases, Serena had told her all about Sian’s colourful dating history.

“No. Thank God!” Serena laughs in spite of herself. “I had worried.”

“Should we... um...” Bernie moves her hand in front of her, indicating the tables for dinner. “Or maybe you’re at the top table. Will I have to sit on my own?” Bernie isn’t sure if that would be better or worse.

“No, I’ll be sitting with you. If that’s alright?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Bernie says through gritted teeth.

The meal is spectacular and they forget their initial unease, chatting and laughing like so many times before. Bernie starts to relax and is actually rather enjoying the closeness. Maybe she should talk to Serena about how she feels. She’s rubbish at emotional cues and reading other people’s, but she is beginning to think, to hope, that she isn’t alone in this.

“Will you dance with me?” Serena leans over to ask quietly.

“I’d love to.” Bernie lets the brunette take her by the hand onto the dance floor. Then they are wrapped in each other’s arms, swaying in time to some soppy love song. Bernie can’t help thinking how everything in the lyrics is precisely what she wishes she could say to the woman dancing with her.

“Bernie, I wanted to –” Serena pulls back to face her and starts to tell her something.

“Listen up, ladies!” The blushing bride halts the music then, breaking them apart. “Before my husband... “She pauses for inevitable cheers. “...and I cut the cake, I’d like to gather all the single ladies for the tossing of the bouquet!” Thunderous applause follows, clearly there were a fair number of single ladies at this wedding. “Ok. Ready? One...” Swing. “Two...” Swing. “Threeeeeee!”

There is actual pushing and shoving, as some of the women present very near trample each other to be the victor. Serena barely has time to register that the spoils of the activity are hurtling straight for her, before she is holding it in her hands.

There is a chorus of disappointed ‘awwwwwwww’s before good manners reign and everyone is clapping for her. Sian is winking right at her and inclining her head towards the blonde to Serena’s right.

“Why is Sian looking at us like that?” Bernie’s voice feels miles away, as Serena drops the bouquet and dashes outside to the grounds. _She can’t do it; she just can’t face Bernie’s rejection._

“I’d go after her if I were you, Major.” Sian gives her a pointed look and nods to the door Serena had just rushed out of. But Bernie doesn’t need to be told, she’s already hurrying after the brunette.

“Serena, what’s going on? Are you ok?” Bernie’s eyes scan the area frantically looking for her. “There you are. What was all that about?”

“Go back inside, Bernie. Please.” Serena isn’t ready for her heart to be broken yet.

“Not until I know you’re alright.” Bernie comes over to where Serena is hiding, and hugs her tight. “What’s upset you?”

“I... it’s just...” Serena frees herself from the embrace. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what? I don’t understand.” Bernie tries to reach out to her again, but Serena shrugs her off.

“No, you don’t.” Serena blinks trying to stop the tears from falling.

“Then explain it to me. I want to understand.” Bernie hated seeing the usually confident and self-assured brunette look so small and unsure.

“Serena? Are you out here, gorgeous?!” Serena drags them against the nearest wall, obscuring them in darkness.

“It’s Sian’s brother. He’s always trying it on.” Serena whispers to the blonde, they are now pressed flush, with Serena’s back to the wall. Serena has two fingers to Bernie’s lips to silence her.

“Is he what’s upset you? I’ll go have a word.” Bernie straightens, clearly in Major Wolfe mode.

“No. Shush. Stay here with me, please. He’ll go away in a sec.” Serena pleads with her.

“Ok.” Bernie agrees, holding Serena closer as if her arms can protect her from the lecherous oaf. Then she takes stock of where they are and just how close. She could convince herself that she does it so that if he does find them, then he’ll get the message that Serena wasn’t interested. But that’s not the reason, and she knows it. Her hand moves to play with the wisps of hair at Serena’s nape, and she is looking at her with eyes so dark that Serena gasps. Then she is instantly silenced by Bernie’s mouth over her own.

Serena clings to her and presses further into the kiss. She kisses her with a hunger that Bernie realises isn’t part of any ploy to make the man go away. Serena is kissing her like she wants to. Like she needs to. And Bernie can’t believe it. They are still kissing long after he has gone and they have little intention of stopping any time soon. The cool night air fills with their combined moans of enjoyment and pleasure courses through them. They only stop when they absolutely have to.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” Bernie grins as she rests her forehead against Serena’s, joy bursting from every pore. “Not that it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Very, very pleasant...” She surges in for more of the brunette’s mouth. Serena is only too willing to oblige. “Is this why you were upset just now?”

“Sian knows that I... and she was trying to help... in her own way... I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way about me.”

“Oh Serena, I adore you. I never imagined you would...” Bernie still can’t quite believe her luck.

“I do. Very much.” Serena kisses her again, just because she can. “I should also probably tell you that I lied about the room. I booked the double hoping that we might use it to its full potential.” Serena’s eyes burn with a fire Bernie could only have hoped for in her wildest fantasies.

“Be rude not to.” Bernie beams and lets Serena lead the way.


	14. Heal My Heart

“She shouldn’t really be alone, is there anyone she can stay with?” Ric poses the question, and all eyes turn to Serena.

“No, don’t look at me like that. She is not staying with me!” Serena hisses out.

“There’s no one else, Serena.” Ric tries to reason with her.

“And whose fault is that?!” Serena is incensed. “I’m not responsible for the fact that she has no family or friends to step in.”

“Just FYI, my hearing is perfectly fine.” The blonde in the bed scowls at them all for discussing her like she wasn’t even here. The scowl is a little less effective than it might otherwise be, because it’s swiftly followed by a winch of agony. “I’ll manage. Just discharge me, so I can go home.” She attempts to sit up and instantly regrets it. Her head pounds and her body aches, a cold sweat clings to her skin as she feels the edges of her vision begin to blur.

“Easy, Bernie.” Ric helps her to lie back down. “Can I get another shot of morphine and an anti-emetic please?” He shouts to one of the nursing staff.

The blonde grabs the disposable kidney dish by her bed and promptly vomits. “Might be a bit late for the anti-emetic.” She is pallid and green around the gills, as she groans and hugs the dish, just in case. “Maybe hold off on the morphine as well, doesn’t seem to agree with me.”

“Serena, be reasonable...” Ric pulls her aside. “...she absolutely cannot be left on her own.”

“Keep her here then.” Serena counters.

“We need the bed, and medically there’s nothing else we can do. She needs rest, and someone to take care of her for a change. You two had a falling out, that’s fine. None of my business. But you know that if this was the other way around, she would help you. Even though you’ve barely said a civil word to her since she got back from Kiev.” Ric is actually rather disappointed with the brunette’s behaviour. Serena was nothing if not selfless, under normal circumstances.

“I...” Serena knows she been childish and discourteous from the moment Bernie had set foot back inside the hospital. It wasn’t the blonde’s fault. She’d had no idea of Serena’s feelings for her when she’d taken the secondment. Still didn’t, in fact. “Alright, if you can get her to agree to it. And someone will need to arrange cover, if AAU is going to be down both of its lead consultants.”

“Already sorted.” Ric explains that he’d spoken to Hanssen and everything was in hand.

“You knew I’d do it, didn’t you?” Serena eyes him suspiciously.

“I had hope that your big heart wouldn’t let me down.” Ric winks and goes to tell Bernie the ‘good’ news; Serena crosses her arms and shakes her head as he walks away.

* * *

“Right, let’s get you inside. Keep you warm.” Serena had gone to the blonde’s home already and picked up everything she’d asked for. Trust her to have an already packed bag in the bottom of her wardrobe. _She’d better not be about to run out on me again._ She fetches the wheelchair that she’d borrowed from the ward, and brings it round to the passenger side of her car.

“Please, don’t make me use that.” Bernie pleads with her.

“How else do you propose we get you inside, with a badly sprained wrist and ankle, and serious concussion?” Serena puts her hands on her hips.

“That’s what these are for?” Bernie grabs the crutches that Ric had given her.

“And what happens if you get lightheaded on the way in?” Serena’s face softens in obvious concern, in spite of her best efforts to stay mad at the blonde.

“Um...” Bernie deflates in front of her. “...hadn’t thought of that.”

“Wait there.” Serena rolls her eyes once she’s said it. _Like Bernie was going anywhere_. She opens her front door, leaves the wheelchair in the hallway, and walks back to the car. “Come on. Let’s be having you.” The brunette takes the crutches in one hand, and then helps Bernie to stand on her good foot. Encouraging her to put her arm over her shoulders, Serena holds her around the waist and lets her (there’s no other word for it) hop up to the door and inside the house. “Couch.” Serena signals for Bernie to keep going until she has lowered her on to the big sofa in the lounge.

“Thanks.” The exertion has Bernie panting and sweating, clearly exhausted.

Serena fusses over her then. She lifts the blonde’s legs carefully to lie along the length of couch and swaddles her in the largest, cosiest blanket she’s ever seen. “Time for your pain relief. Do you want to eat something with those?” When Bernie nods, she heads off to the kitchen. “I have some homemade soup and a crusty loaf.” She calls to Bernie from the other room.

“Sounds amazing.” Despite the earlier nausea, she was absolutely ravenous.

Serena comes back to the lounge a little while later with a tray. There is a generous bowl of soup, three thick slices of bread, butter on a little separate plate with a knife for spreading it, a large glass of water and her pills.

“Thank you so much, Serena. I really appreciate this. I know I’m the last person you would want in your home. I’m so sorry for all this trouble.” Bernie’s eyes shine with unshed tears, and Serena realises how much she’s been shutting her out. “Aren’t you hungry?” Bernie indicates that the brunette doesn’t have a tray of her own.

Serena had been miles away, and she starts when Bernie’s fingers brush against her hand. “Hm? Oh yes... yes I’ll just go and...” She takes a steadying breath, and goes to fetch her own tray from the kitchen. Then she perches on the arm of the sofa, and eats her own lunch.

They eat in silence, but it’s not the heavy, awkward type that had fallen between them of late.

“That was delicious, thank you.” Bernie says with a small smile.

“No problem.” Serena clears away their things, and then comes back to sit in the armchair next to the sofa Bernie is lying on. She shifts and squirms and can’t quite seem to get comfortable.

“You can sit with me, if you like.” Bernie notices her wriggling in the chair.

“Um... ok...” Serena tucks herself into the end of the couch, and lets Bernie’s head rest in her lap as she switches on the TV. Before long she’s absentmindedly carding her fingers through Bernie’s hair, and she brushes her fingers over the large lump on the blonde’s forehead where she’d hit her head. The skin was split, but not enough to need stitches, and Bernie pulls away slightly when Serena accidentally touches the wound.

“Sorry.” Serena goes back to working her hand through the blonde’s curls instead. It’s terribly domestic, and the brunette’s heart aches at the perfect stillness of the moment. It isn’t until she hears soft snoring coming from the blonde that she sees Bernie has fallen asleep. She bends down to kiss the blonde’s temple gently. “I’ve missed you, Bernie.” She allows herself the quiet confession as she lets the blonde sleep in her lap.

Bernie wakes a little over two hours later, feeling nauseated again. Luckily, Serena had thought to have an old washing basin on hand just in case. She carefully holds back the blonde’s hair and rubs her back while she’s being sick again. “You’re ok. I know it probably won’t feel like it just now, but you’re getting over the worst.”

A muffled groan and some heaving are the only response from Bernie, until she’s sure the vomiting has passed. “I’m sorry about this. I feel so weak and useless.”

“Well, perhaps you’ll think better of taking on two would-be car thieves next time.” Serena says it more harshly than necessary, and Bernie physically recoils, as though she’s been slapped. “Sorry. That was unkind.”

“I don’t like this any more than you do, Serena. You think I want to be here? Oh yeah, when I’m injured and incapable of taking care of myself, what I really want is my nurse maid to be someone who hates my guts, but won’t tell me why.” Bernie curls herself into a ball on the opposite end of the couch, as far away from Serena as she can get in her current state.

“Bernie...” Serena shuffles closer on the sofa cushions, but the blonde won’t look at her. “...I don’t hate you.” _Quite the opposite._

“Could’ve fooled me.” Bernie tries to fight off another wave of nausea. “Look, just phone Ric and tell him that I’m fine to go home. Then I’ll be out from under your feet.”

“No.” Serena is firm and sure. “I will not put your health at risk. You’re too important to me.”

“What?” Bernie lifts her face off her knees and stares incredulously at the brunette.

“I –” Serena is stopped from saying more by the doorbell ringing. “Now, who could that be? I’ll be right back.” She squeezes Bernie’s good ankle softly before getting up. “Robbie, what are you doing here?”

Bernie tells herself that it’s not eavesdropping if they’re just talking loudly enough that she happens to overhear. It’s not like she can excuse herself anyway.

“Date night.” He moves to step inside, but Serena isn’t having that.

“Robbie, I told you that I can’t tonight. Bernie isn’t well, and she’s staying here until she’s strong enough to go home.”

“So, she can get an early night in the spare room and we can....” He doesn’t finish the sentence, but it’s obvious what he means, and Bernie might just be about to vomit some more.

“She has concussion, she’ll be sleeping with me in my bed.” First Bernie had heard of it, and she almost falls off the couch.

“What, so, you’re picking some lezzer friend over me?”

“Yes. I absolutely am.” Serena has never been surer of anything, and Bernie smiles. “And don’t use words like that, it’s 2020 for God’s sake!”

“How do you know she’s not faking, trying to gain sympathy and try it on?”

“You cannot be serious!” Serena practically screams at him.

“First Jason, and now this. You never have any time for me, Serena!” He whines like a baby, and even Bernie knows he’s fucked.

“You selfish prick! Get out! And don’t come back.” Serena slams the door in his boorish face.

“I should be going, I’ve more than outstayed my welcome.” Bernie tries to use her crutches to get up and then she feels dizzy. “Uh... Sere...” Serena reaches her just in time to hold her up.

“Bernie, you’re not going anywhere. Except maybe upstairs for a hot bath. I’ll clean out that head wound and wash all this blood out of your hair.” Serena smiles and Bernie just nods, because how was anyone supposed to say no to a smile like that. “Let's go. Hang on tight to me, alright?”

They somehow make it all the way upstairs, and Serena leaves Bernie perched on the end of her bed while she fills the most gorgeous smelling bath Bernie knows she’ll have ever had.

“I’ll just nip down and grab your pyjamas and wash things. I’ll fire the oven on for dinner. There’s cottage pie.” Serena is back in a flash. “I couldn’t find your pyjamas in your kit bag.”

“I... uh... don’t own any...” Bernie shrugs.

“What do you wear in bed then?” Serena asks just as the obvious answer comes to her: nothing. “Oh...” The brunette drags the pendant around her neck this way and that, trying not to overheat at the thought of Bernie sleeping naked. “I’ll have some you can borrow.” She shakes herself to rid her mind of some frankly delicious images.

“I’m... um... going to need some help.” Bernie motions at her clothes and her face is a little flushed. All she’s wearing is some scrubs that they’d lent her to go home in, since hers had been covered in her own blood.

“Ok, now, let’s take it easy...” Serena helps lift the scrub top over her head. She’s momentarily distracted by the fact that the blonde isn’t wearing a bra, until she takes in all the bruising to her torso. “Bernie, what in God’s name did they do to you?” She touches a particularly nasty patch of bruises over her ribs, and Bernie flinches away, both because of pain and because Serena’s hand is cold.

“I don’t remember it all. Apparently, they had some sort of hidden weapon. Blacked out when I got hit on the head.” She points to sizeable lump on the side of her forehead.

“You’re lucky Jason came along when he did. Scared them off.” Serena knows it could have been much worse.

“Uh huh.” Bernie tries to push the scrub bottoms down, forgetting that she isn’t wearing any pants either.

“I did find some pants in your bag.” Serena holds them up, before realising that might be inappropriate, and setting them on the bed. She fishes her warmest pair of pyjamas out of her chest of drawers. “Here, you can wear these. Let’s get you in there before the water goes cold.” She carefully helps the blonde into the ensuite, and lowers her gently into the bathwater.

“Ahhhhhh, that’s heavenly.” Bernie sighs, and feels some of her aches and pains easing already.

Serena has a first aid kit in her bathroom cabinet. _Of course, she does._ She washes Bernie’s hair for her first, and the blonde’s moans of pleasure vibrate straight through Serena, and settle between her legs. _Now is not the time, Serena._ “There we go.” She rinses the last of the suds out and then towel dries the blonde’s hair for her. Then she tends to the cut on her head, before leaving her to soak in peace until Bernie wants to get out again.

Serena’s towels and bathrobe are so soft, that Bernie thinks she might have to ask where she got them, because she’s never been this comfy before. The brunette towels her dry and even blow-dries her hair for her, before swapping the robe for her pyjamas. Then she straps up her wrist and ankle again, even dropping a quick kiss to the inside of her injured wrist. “All better.” Bernie shivers when Serena meets her eye, but she’s certainly not cold.

“Thanks.” Bernie smiles on one side of her mouth, and wishes she could kiss Serena right now, but maybe that was just the painkillers.

“Bernie...” Serena looks like she wants to say something, and then thinks better of it.

“Everything ok?” Bernie’s forehead creases as she studies her.

“Yeah. Do you feel strong enough to go back downstairs for dinner? Or you could lie in bed and I’ll bring some up?” Serena tucks some of the blonde’s curls behind one ear.

“I should probably try to do as much as possible, don’t want to seize up completely.” Bernie leans on Serena’s shoulder slightly to help her stand.

“That’s my Big Macho Army Medic.” Serena chuckles, and helps Bernie back to the downstairs couch.

“Can I do anything to help?” Bernie feels guilty that Serena is doing all this for her.

“Just rest, love.” Serena kisses the top of her head, and goes into the kitchen to whip up the cottage pie.

Bernie stares dreamily after her, warmed by the brunette’s little touches and kisses. Did Serena just call her ‘love’?

For her part, Serena was not unaffected by seeing more of Bernie’s body than she could have expected when she went into work that morning. She had noted a little sadly that the blonde had lost weight she really couldn’t afford to since she’d been away. _That_ Serena could do something about. She loved to cook and she loved Bernie, so it was an obvious fix. Maybe they could use these few days off to talk about their relationship.

“Now, here we are. Cottage pie and veg.” Serena smiles as she gives the blonde her plate, and sits beside her with hers. “It’s a little early for your pills, but I can rustle up some toast or something later. I know you’re still feeling sick, but best not to take them on an empty stomach. But you know that...” Serena is rambling because she knows they need to talk, but has no idea what to say.

“Hmmmm, this is the best cottage pie I’ve ever eaten.” Bernie’s appetite seemed fine at least.

“There’s plenty more if you’d like a second helping. The nausea should be starting to settle down now, fingers crossed.”

“I’m sorry if I’m the reason you broke up with Robbie. If I’m in the way, I could –” Bernie would go if that’s what would make Serena happy.

“You’re not going anywhere. Robbie is an asshole, and it’s been on the cards for a while. Not your fault.” _At least not in the way you think._ Serena waves away any blame on the blonde’s part.

“Are you sure? I know you’ve been together for a while. I didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

“I’m not in love with him.” Serena admits.

“I really am sorry, in that case. You deserve that, Serena. To be in love, I mean.” Bernie glances at her out of the corner of her eye.

“Bernie, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Fire away.” Bernie smiles on the outside, but inside she’s sure her heart is about to beat out of her chest.

“Why did you take the secondment?” Serena turns to her, face sad and serious.

“I... um... I have... HAD feelings for someone. I was scared. I... she isn’t... I mean, she doesn’t think of me the same way... and I did what I usually do. I ran away. Because I’m a coward.” Bernie blinks to stave off tears.

“And you’re sure Alex doesn’t feel the same way?” Serena makes the educated guess. She should have known she didn’t stand a chance for the blonde’s heart.

“Alex?” Bernie’s face scrunches. “What does Alex have to do with anything?”

“Oh, well, I just thought that she was who you had feelings for.” Serena pushes her food around with her fork.

“No, Serena. It’s not Alex. I’m not talking about Alex.”

“Who then? Did you meet someone at work?” Serena tries to think of who it could be.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. She’s never going to see me that way.” Bernie seems certain.

“How do you know?” Serena challenges.

“Can I ask you something?” Bernie deflects that last question. “Would you have rather that I’d not come back from the Ukraine?”

“No, I wouldn’t. I missed you terribly.” Serena answers truthfully.

“You haven’t exactly seemed thrilled to see me back.” Bernie says sadly.

“Robbie and I haven’t been together all this time, you know?”

“What?” Bernie does not know where that comes from.

“We had a one-night stand when you were gone. He’s been pushing for more, but he’s not who I want. I slept with him because I was lonely and feeling undesirable. Only problem was, it wasn’t him that I wanted to be desired by.” Serena explains.

“Oh, there’s someone else then?” Bernie’s chance just keeps slipping further and further away. “Whoever he is, he’s a fool if he doesn’t want you.”

“It isn’t a h –”

“Hello Auntie Serena. Hello Doctor Bernie.” Jason makes them jump on his way into the lounge.

“Oh love, did Alan drop you off? Is it that time already?” Serena moves away from Bernie on the couch. “Your dinner is keeping warm in the oven. Let me go get it for you.”

“How are you Doctor Bernie?” Jason looks worried.

“I’m fine, Jason. A bit sore, but I’ll live. Are you alright?”

“Yes, but I do think we should tell Auntie Serena what really happened. I know I asked you not to...”

“Jason, it wasn’t your fault. I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”

“Here we are, Jason.” Serena carries his tray in for him.

“It’s time for Countdown. Are you any good Doctor Bernie? I always win against Auntie Serena.” He announces, pleased as Punch with himself.

“I can’t say I’ve ever really seen Countdown. Why don’t you explain it to me?” Serena knows that Bernie knows what Countdown is. She also knows that Bernie knows how much Jason loves explaining things. And she adores her for letting him.

A little while later, as promised, Serena makes Bernie some toast to take her pain medication with. She is glad that the blonde seems to have managed to keep dinner down, and hopes that might be the end of her being sick. She knows it’s time for bed when she sees the blonde struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Jason, everything is locked up. Bernie and I will be going to bed now. Will you turn off the TV and the lights on your way up please?”

“Yes. Goodnight Auntie Serena. Goodnight Doctor Bernie.” The young man smiles at them.

“Here we go...” Serena helps Bernie upstairs and guides her towards her own room. That’s when Bernie remembers what she’d said to Robbie earlier.

“Serena, I’m sure I’d be fine in the spare room.” Bernie starts to protest.

“Not a chance. You have a head injury and we need to keep you warm.” Serena isn’t taking no for an answer. “Now, let’s brush our teeth and I’ll tuck you in.” She winks at the blonde.

“Ok.” Bernie does as she’s told.

“I’ll be right back, just going to put my pyjamas on. You go on to sleep if you’re tired.” Serena kisses her on the forehead, and Bernie thinks it would take very little for her to get used to all this. She wants to stay awake long enough to maybe steal a cuddle from the brunette. “Right, do you want another blanket?” Serena slips in beside her when Bernie shakes her head.

“Thank you for looking after me, Serena. I know I’m not one of your favourite people.” Bernie says around a yawn.

Serena waits until she’s sure Bernie is asleep, before cuddling her close and whispering, “you are my favourite person, my love.”

* * *

Bernie can’t remember where she is when she wakes up. There’s a weight at her back that she discovers is Serena clinging to her in her sleep. She was never one for lie-ins, but she burrows herself further under the duvet, and impossibly closer to the brunette, and promptly falls straight back to sleep.

Serena wakes with a grin when she remembers who shared her bed last night, even if there was none of _that_. She watches Bernie fondly as she sleeps in her arms, and wishes she could tell her how she feels. She’d never fallen in love with a woman before, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know that was precisely what was happening. She had been falling in love with the blonde long before she even knew it, until it was the most evident thing in the world, and she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it before. She is so caught up in her own thoughts, that she doesn’t notice Bernie stirring beside her until the blonde turns to face her, their noses touching on their shared pillow.

“Morning.” Bernie’s voice is husky and deep, and all a bit throaty first thing, and Serena’s body responds keenly. The blonde is startled by the sudden and unexpected darkness of the brunette’s eyes.

“Bernie, I want to –”

“Auntie Serena, I am heading to work now. I’ll be home at 5.35pm. I’ve eaten one bowl of Frosties with semi-skimmed milk, and two rounds of wholemeal toast with butter and raspberry jam.”

Serena tries not to giggle when Bernie looks at her a certain way, when Jason announces all that through the closed bedroom door. “Great, have a good day, Jason. I’ll see you this evening.” Serena shouts to him and then says more quietly to the blonde. “Stop it, you know he’s very particular about his routine.”

“I said nothing.” Bernie holds her hands up from under the edge of the duvet as a gesture of surrender. “What were you going to say just now, before Jason came along?”

“Oh, I don’t remember. Can’t have been anything important.” Serena lies. “Let’s get you up and have some breakfast, eh? Do you want a shower or perhaps another bath?” Serena’s brain positively cannot cope with seeing Bernie naked again this early, but she is meant to be looking after her.

“I wouldn’t mind a shower, but I don’t think I could stand for that long just yet.” Bernie feels utterly useless.

“Bath it is!” Serena runs another bubbly, luscious smelling bath. She removes the strapping on the blonde’s wrist and ankle and has a quick look at her head wound, underneath the dressing she’d applied last night. “That looks to be healing nicely.” She eases Bernie into the warm water, and wonders if it might be weird to have a shower while she’s in there to save time. Probably... Instead, she fetches a clean set of clothes for the blonde to wear when she gets out. “Do you want me to wash your hair again?”

“Nah, it’s ok. Thanks for the offer, but I don’t normally wash it every day. Could you maybe help me out though, I’m starting to look like a wizened prune?”

“From where I’m standing, you look beautiful.” Serena gasps when she realises what she’s said. “Um, I just meant... I didn’t... I... um...” She doesn’t know what to say. What can she say?

“Are you taking advantage of my injuries to get a good gawp at me naked, Campbell?” Bernie teases, and laughs when Serena turns a gorgeous shade of pink. “It’s ok, I was in the army for all those years. I’m used to being seen naked by colleagues.”

“I had hoped we were more than colleagues.” Serena catches Bernie’s eye as she helps her out of the water.

“Friends then.” Bernie offers. “Although, I didn’t think you wanted to be friends anymore, since I got back.”

“I’m sorry for how I’ve acted these past weeks. I have no excuse; I was cruel and unkind. Forgive me.” Serena helps the blonde into some loose joggers and a t-shirt and hoody.

“I missed you too, you know?” Bernie confesses. “Thought about you constantly.”

“You did?” Serena looks surprised by that.

“I don’t think I thought about much else.” Bernie replies honestly.

“I thought about you too. I didn’t want you to go.” Serena remembers how devastated she’d been when she’d watched the blonde leave.

“I didn’t know that. I thought I was doing the best thing.” Bernie had unilaterally made the decision for both of them, which she now sees was unfair. “I should have talked to you first. I’m sorry.”

“You can talk to me now.” Serena says hopefully.

“Because we’re friends?” Bernie gets the wrong end of the stick.

Serena’s face falls, but she schools her expression back to neutral before Bernie can see how crestfallen she is. “What shall I make for breakfast?” She asks a little too cheerily, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t mind. Whatever you normally have is fine.” Bernie smiles as Serena helps her on to her now customary spot on the couch.

“I have some bagels and soft cheese. Could toast them. Or is that too heavy? How’s your stomach?” Serena asks as she heads for the kitchen.

“It seems to have settled down. Bagels sounds good.” Bernie calls to her from the sofa. “I think I could maybe go home soon, get out of your hair.”

“Bernie, I want you to stay. At least until you’re properly healed. You aren’t in the way. I meant it when I said that I’d missed you.” Serena is carrying two plates of bagels when she comes back to the sofa. “We rarely get time off, and never together. I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I’d like to spend time with you.” It sends a shock wave of feeling shooting through them both when the brunette strokes the blonde’s bare foot with her hand. “Your feet are like ice! I’m going to have a quick shower; I’ll bring you some warm socks on the way back.”

“Um... sure.” Bernie ducks her head and tries not to concentrate on how much Serena’s touch was getting to her. And she was absolutely not going to think about Serena in the shower. “Christ, Wolfe. Calm yourself.”

“Did you say something?” Serena calls from halfway upstairs, turning as if she might descend again.

“Nope.” Bernie smiles tightly and wills Serena to keep walking upstairs. She figures that if she had her crutches just right, she could take her dishes into the kitchen. No time like the present. On slightly shaky legs, she grips her plate and mug in one hand, and she slowly shuffles towards to the kitchen. It takes an inordinate amount of time, and she is sweating rather profusely when she arrives, but she does make it. Chalk that up to a win then. Although, as she turns to go back to the couch, she has another blasted dizzy spell. Sagging into the nearest chair, she is breathing harshly and trying not to lose consciousness.

“Now, what shall we do for the rest of –” Serena panics when she doesn’t find the blonde on the sofa, where she’d left her. “Bernie?” Her terror heightens when there’s no reply. “Bernie!” She runs to the kitchen. “Bernie, oh my God. Are you ok?” Serena assesses her quickly and is alarmed to note her complexion and how she is sweating and hyperventilating. “Bernie, look at me.” Serena’s voice is firm, and she’s visibly relieved when the blonde is able to comply. “What happened?”

“I’m fine. I just wanted to put my things in the dishwasher. I can’t even do that.” Bernie’s lower lip is quivering and she looks set to cry.

“It’s only been little over a day since you were attacked.” Saying it out loud makes Serena realise how much worse things could have turned out. “I –” Now the brunette is getting emotional. “I could have lost you.”

“Hardly a great loss.” Bernie refuses to look at her as she says it.

“Don’t say that.” Serena moves Bernie’s head with a gentle hand on the side of her face. Her fingers trail across the blonde’s cheek as she moves her hand away, once they are looking at each other again.

“Serena... I...” Bernie starts to say something, but the brunette can practically see the moment she changes her mind, and can’t help wondering what it was. “I’ve really already caused you more than enough trouble. I should go home.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Serena wishes there was a way to stop the trauma surgeon from being her usual noble, self-sacrificing, clueless idiot self. “I never wanted you to go.”

“I don’t understand –” Bernie looks adorably puzzled.

“I should have –” The doorbell rings and Serena thinks she might strangle whoever was on the other side of the door. “Robbie, for fuc –”

“Hear me out.” He holds his hand up to silence her and steps into the house without invitation. Serena is really not in the mood for this. She wanted to talk to Bernie about her feelings, not deal with Robbie’s refusal to accept that they were never going to happen.

“Robbie, it’s really not a good time.” Serena tries to reason with him.

“It’s not true.”

“What isn’t?” Serena’s patience is wearing thin.

“Your houseguest. Her car wasn’t being broken into or stolen. She’s lying.”

“Robbie, she has concussion and other injuries. I’ve seen the bruises myself. You cannot seriously be suggesting that she’s faking it.” Serena pinches the bridge of nose, trying to remain calm.

“I checked. There was no one near the car, and no one reported the incident. I’ve seen the CCTV footage. No one has been anywhere near her car this past week except her.”

“What’s going on?” Bernie hobbles in on her crutches when she hears raised voices. “Serena, are you ok?” She glares at the police officer, she’d kill him if he was upsetting the brunette, injured or not.

“See, she’s very clearly hurt.” Serena shows Robbie the bruises underneath the blonde’s clothes.

“She’s lying about how she got them then.” Robbie thinks he’s caught the blonde out.

“Next you’ll be saying she did this to herself.” Serena throws her arms up in frustration.

“Wouldn’t surprise me. She’s obviously trying to seduce you.”

“With what, Robbie? Concussion and vomiting.”

“Did you or did you not stop someone trying to steal your car when you sustained the injuries, Mrs Wolfe?” Robbie switches on his best copper voice.

“I... Serena, I didn’t... I was trying to protect... I’m so sorry.” Bernie is almost crying now.

“Was this done by car thieves, yes or no?” Serena can’t believe this.

“No...” Bernie looks imploringly at the brunette, tries to take her hand but Serena backs away. “...but I –”

“Get out.” Serena cannot be hearing this.

“Ok, I’ll go. You can leave anything I miss at the hospital or throw it out. I’ll just phone a cab.” She grabs her bag with some difficulty, but she’ll be damned if she’ll show her agony in front of either of them. “For what it’s worth, I was protecting someone from having something very precious stolen. He asked me not to tell you. That’s the only reason I kept it from you. Goodbye, Serena.” The blonde stares forlornly at the brunette for a few more moments and then goes outside to wait for her taxi. Serena vaguely realises she’s still barefoot, but she isn’t about to chase after her.

* * *

“Where’s Doctor Bernie? Is she better already?" Jason is not a doctor, but he had read that concussion symptoms can last for 2 weeks in adults. That would suggest that Doctor Bernie might not be better yet.

“She went home.” Serena isn’t saying any more on the topic.

“Is it because of me?”

“No love, why on earth would you think that?” Serena studies the young man and knows there’s something he isn’t telling her. “Jason? Why would what happened to Bernie have anything to do with you?”

“She promised me she wouldn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what? Is this because she lied about being attacked by car thieves?”

“She did lie about it being car thieves but she was attacked.”

“I know. You are the one who found her. You were very brave and quick-thinking. Probably saved her life.” Serena is unspeakably proud.

“Actually, she was the one who saved me.”

“What?”

“Wait here.” Jason runs up to his bedroom and comes back down with the backpack he always carried everywhere. He pulls something out and hands it to Serena.

“A teddy bear?” Serena doesn’t understand.

“I always carry it with me. My Mum gave it to me when I was small. I was showing it to Doctor Bernie in the peace garden, because she was having a bad day. It always made me feel better, so I thought it might help her too.” Jason starts to explain.

“And then what?” Serena knows that’s not the end of the story.

“Lola showed up with two boys I didn’t recognise. They wanted money and they were laughing at my bear. They tried to take it from me. Doctor Bernie stood up for me. She shouted at the boys to give it back. When they wouldn’t, she gave them all her money to just leave and let me have my bear back. That’s when they wanted more and they saw my laptop. I offered to let them take it in return for having my bear back. But Bernie wouldn’t let them have my backpack. They just kept laughing, and then they got angry because they said Doctor Bernie was pretending not to have anything else to give them and that they would make her.”

Serena gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.

“One of the boys punched her in the jaw when she snatched my bear back. That’s when she fell on the ground. The other one must have been hiding the baseball bat, that’s when he kept hitting her with it. They were screaming at her to stand up, because she refused to let go of my bear. She was lying on top of it so they couldn’t get to it. That just made them madder. Then she shouted at me to run away quickly, to get to somewhere safe. I started to run, but I didn’t want to leave her there... I didn’t know what to do. I got security, but they’d all gone, and Doctor Bernie was just lying there and I couldn’t help her. She helped me.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why would you ask Bernie not to say anything?”

“I thought everyone would laugh at me like they had. Doctor Bernie said she would keep it a secret. She was just trying to help me. Is that why she’s gone? Is she mad at me?”

“No. I told her to leave because I thought she was lying to me.”

“Only because I asked her to.”

“Robbie came round, said there was no footage of anyone breaking into her car. He said she'd done it to –” _Seduce me._ Serena feels sick. She should know that Bernie would never do anything so deplorable.

“Well, there will be footage, just not of the carpark.” Jason is quick to realise they’d be looking in the wrong place.

“I have to go somewhere, Jason. I won’t be long.” Serena stands and grabs her car keys, heading for her front door.

“Are you going to bring Doctor Bernie back with you?” The young man looks hopeful.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Serena’s mind is made up.

She isn’t sure she won’t get a speeding ticket, but that wasn’t important. Bernie was all that mattered. She parks with a skid and then is running up the front path and hammering on the door. The house was in complete darkness, given the hour that wasn’t a good sign.

“Bernie!! Bernie, it’s me, Serena. Open the door. Please!! Bernie!!” She pushes the letterbox open to try to peer inside the blonde’s hall. “Bernie, where are you? Please open the door.” Serena calls through the slot. Silence. Serena stands and goes to the bay window of Bernie’s front room.

It’s pitch-black inside. And then she spots the outline of someone on the floor, a fan of blonde curls around their head. “BERNIE!!!!” Serena calls an ambulance and gives them the blonde’s address. She needs to find a way to get inside. There’s no spare key hidden under a flowerpot or doormat.

The door is heavy, she isn’t sure she could break it down. Bernie could, she laughs bitterly at the irony. She searches for something, anything, to break a window and just get in. Then she spots a lose brick on the edge of the path. If she could break the side window in the door panel... She’d just have to hope that the blonde kept the key in the lock. She wraps her scarf around her hand and smashes away as much of the glass as she can. She could cry with relief when she feels the key in the lock on the inside of the door.

“Bernie!” Serena finds her sprawled on the floor, and she’s unconscious. And bloody freezing. How long had she been lying here? She still has no footwear on, so it could have been hours. Serena checks her vitals. Pulse, thready, but definitely there. She’s breathing. Thank God. She fetches as many blankets and things that she can to warm her up, and places her in the recovery position. “Stay with me, Bernie. Please. I can’t lose you. This is my fault. Please be ok.” Serena prays to every deity she can think of. “Please don’t leave me. I love you.” She doesn’t realise that she’s crying until one of her tears lands on the blonde’s temple. She clings to Bernie until the paramedics have to drag her away.

* * *

“She’s ok. Looks like the swelling from her head injury was pressing on the brain. We’ve eased that. Her core temperature was dangerously low, but we’re warming her up slowly. If you hadn’t found her and gotten her warm, I’m not sure she’d have lasted until the paramedics had gotten to her.” Ric tries to reassure the brunette.

“It’s because of me that this happened to her. I should never have let her out of my sight.” _Or listened to bloody Robbie!_

“She’s asking for you.” Ric smiles as Serena’s head snaps round to look at him.

“She’s awake.” Serena lets out the breath she feels like she’s been holding in since she’d seen Bernie lying on the floor.

“Yep. Just don’t stay too long. And don’t tire her out with any deep, meaningful discussions.” Ric looks knowingly at Serena. “Leave that until she’s discharged at least.”

“Bernie...” Serena huffs out a little pleased gasp when she can see with her own eyes that she’s really ok. “I’m so sorry. I never should have thrown you out.” Serena feels the tears streaming down her face but she’s has no mind to stop them.

“I shouldn’t have lied.” Bernie turns her head, not able to look at her.

“I don’t care about that. Jason told me what really happened. I’m just so happy that you’re ok. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you.” Serena brushes her lips against Bernie’s. The kiss is chaste but in no way just friendly.

“Serena... I love you too, but I’m on a lot of medication right now. Could we maybe talk about this later, so that I know it’s real?”

“I’ll hold you to that. Rest, my love.” Bernie smiles softy when Serena calls her that, and the brunette kisses her a bit more firmly this time. Serena takes the seat by her bed and keeps a hold of Bernie’s hand while she drifts off to sleep. They had time. She could wait.


	15. When I Think About You

The very first time it happens by accident. Serena was having a difficult day, and as Bernie finishes her shift early, she formulates a plan to brighten the brunette’s spirits. She nips to the nearest supermarket and picks up everything she’ll need. She would cook dinner for Serena coming home. The brunette had given her a key to her house, just in case she was ever running late, so Bernie could keep Jason company. She knows that the young man is staying with Alan tonight, so she can cook Serena’s favourite for a change. Jason didn’t enjoy the dish, so she knows Serena doesn’t get to have it very often.

Armed with her shopping bags, she slides her key into the lock and gently opens the front door, quietly closing it behind her. She slips off her coat and shoes to place them in their usual spot, and is just lugging her wares towards the kitchen when she sees it. There is a light on upstairs, which is strange because the rest of the house had been in darkness, before Bernie had turned on a few downstairs lights on her way to the kitchen. She’s not expecting Serena home for over an hour, giving her time to whip up the meal. There are no obvious signs of forced entry, but Bernie begins to worry that Serena’s house might be being burgled.

 _Not on her watch_. She silently tiptoes up the stairs towards the light, trying not to alert the intruders to her presence. The source of the light is emanating from Serena’s open bedroom door, and she can hear the brunette groaning inside. Serena must have come home early and surprised them and now they were hurting her. Bernie’s anger surges as she thinks of her friend in harm’s way. As she stealthily makes her way to the open door, she wonders vaguely if perhaps she should have acquired a weapon on the way upstairs. What she sees as she peeks around the doorframe is the last thing she could have imagined.

Serena is lying naked on her bed, the clothes she’d been wearing on the ward are scattered across the floor. Her head is resting on her pillow, she has her eyes closed, and her knees up and flopped open, and her hand is very clearly working between her legs. The other hand is pinching at her own nipple. Bernie can see _everything_. She should feel guilt at disturbing this obviously very private moment, but she can’t quite tear her eyes off Serena’s hand as she touches herself. Bernie burns with shame and embarrassment, but also with fierce desire at seeing the brunette like this. She needs to go back downstairs. _Now._ Before Serena catches her watching.

Deciding to walk backwards the way she came; she slowly starts to step away from Serena’s bedroom, when she hears something she never could have anticipated.

“Bernie...” She freezes when the brunette says her name, panic makes her heart leap into her throat at the thought of being found out. When her eyes dart to Serena, however, she finds that the brunette is not looking at her at all. In fact, her eyes are still tightly closed shut, and she continues working herself up to orgasm. “Oh Bernie... please...” Serena gasps out the words as she speeds up her efforts. The blonde is frozen in place. _Was Serena thinking about her while she was...?_ Bernie lets out an involuntary moan at that thought, and Serena’s eyes fly open to look straight at her.

They both stare at each other, eyes wide and frantic at being in this situation. Bernie almost trips over as she tries to rush back downstairs and away from Serena.

“Wait!” Serena calls out to her and Bernie makes her way back to Serena’s open bedroom door, only this time she covers her eyes with her hand.

“I’m sorry, Serena. I didn’t think you’d be home yet. I was just going to cook us dinner, and then when I saw the light on, I thought it might be burglars and I.... I’m so sorry. I’ll just go.” She knows this has ruined any semblance of friendship between them.

“No.” Serena is too close to orgasm now to stop, and having the star of her fantasy here in the flesh emboldens her. “Come in. Watch.” She is still stroking herself with purpose as she makes the request.

“I... um... I don’t think...” Bernie feels like she’s trapped between a rock and a hard place, but she couldn’t really make things worse by obeying. _Could she?_ “Ok...” She walks over to stand near the foot of Serena’s bed, mesmerised by the brunette’s fingers coaxing herself to climax.

“Undress.” Serena moans out the command, as her fingers stroke at her bare breast in time with the others between her thighs. “Now.” There is a fiery heat in the brunette’s eyes, that makes Bernie move. She’s never undressed this swiftly before in her life, and then she’s standing naked in front of her best friend. “Closer.” Serena wants to see all of her. The blonde moves so that she is next to Serena by the bed. “I couldn’t wait to get home and do this. I’ve thought about it all day. Thought about you.” Serena’s breathing is erratic and it is becoming more and more difficult to keep her eyes open, as they are hooded with the arousal coursing through her. “Imagining you between my legs. Your hands. Your mouth.” She is so close now; she aches for release. “I need you, Bernie. Watch me come for you.” And then she’s letting go, arching and shuddering off the mattress. “Bernie!” She never takes her eyes of the blonde as she comes, Bernie’s dark eyes watching her only make her come again. “Oh God.” She goes limp on the bedspread and is gasping for air as she comes back down from the ultimate high.

All Bernie could do was watch, as Serena had climaxed while thinking of her, looking at her. She knows that if she checked between her own legs, that she will be wet. But she isn’t sure if she’s allowed to move or if she’s supposed to leave now.

“Now, what were you saying about dinner?” Serena is slipping on her robe and smiling at her as if the whole thing hadn’t happened.

* * *

It continues much the same way after that night. If Serena is having a stressful day or a particularly difficult procedure ends in disappointment, even if things have gone well and she just wants release, she will text Bernie or simply whisper one word into her ear.

“Tonight.”

There seem to be only two rules for their little arrangement: one, they don’t touch each other. And two, they don’t talk about it.

Bernie tries to tell herself that she’s ok with it, that maybe Serena needs it to relax after a trying shift. That their relationship is strong enough to mean that they can explore this without it signalling the end of their friendship. But the lines are very blurry now, and Bernie doesn’t know what she is to Serena anymore. Just a play thing to amuse her and relieve stress? Just a solid, physical version of the brunette’s sexual daydreams? She should put a stop to it but she doesn’t know if she can, if she wants to.

They are having one such encounter a couple of times later, when the parameters of whatever this is seem to shift.

“Lie down. Next to me.” Serena asks as she chases her next orgasm.

“Uh... I probably shouldn’t...” Bernie isn’t sure, given what they’re doing, if there is actually a step too far. She just knows this might be it.

“Lie down. Bernie. Please.” Serena reaches her free arm out to pat the empty side of the bed.

Bernie reluctantly acquiesces, starting a little when the chill of the sheets underneath her hits her bare skin.

“Touch yourself.” Serena is looking over at her, waiting for her to begin.

“What?” The blonde’s head snaps round to look at the brunette beside her, and an expression that’s half terrified, half turned on crosses her features.

“Touch yourself. For me. I want to watch you too.” Serena’s voice is low and breathy, but Bernie hears her just fine.

“Um... I... are you sure?” Bernie isn’t.

“I want to see you. Bernie, touch yourself. Now.” Serena’s tone leaves no room for refusal.

“I... um... ok...” Bernie’s hand travels slowly down her own torso, until her fingers are trembling as they meet the wiry curls at the apex of her thighs. She brushes her fingertips experimentally over her outer lips, hissing and moaning as she caresses herself. Serena’s eyes flit between the blonde’s eyes and the blonde's hand, but she never stops masturbating.

“That’s it. Bernie. Yes.” Serena smiles and nods her approval as the blonde lifts her knees up and lets her legs drop to each side of her body.

“Oh God, Serena. I’m so wet for you.” Bernie would not believe she’d just said that, only it’s definitely her voice. “Jesus Christ.” She gently enters herself with one and then two fingers, letting her thumb move over her own clit as she writhes and rolls her hips into her hand.

“Fuck, Bernie.” Serena wants to reach her hand over and touch the blonde, but she knows that isn’t part of this. She settles instead for clenching and releasing her fist, as her fingers ache to make contact with the woman beside her. She knows she’s lost herself somewhere in whatever was happening between them. She knows she has feelings for the blonde, but she’s ruined it with her treacherous libido.

“Serena...” Bernie wishes she could kiss the brunette, but that’s against the unspoken rules. She had to content herself with simply watching the brunette beside her, as they drive themselves towards the edge. “I...” She wants to say _love you_. This wasn’t about love; it was just a way to uncoil the spring of sexual tension twisted inside. “I’m coming.” She holds Serena’s eye contact as she lets go. Pushed even higher by seeing the brunette start to climax at the same time.

“Me too. Oh, Bernie, me too!” Serena soars as she rides out the most intense orgasm she’s ever had.

Once they have finished, they just stare at each other, their breathing heavy and the hearts hammering.

* * *

Bernie had thought that once she started dating Jayne, Serena would put a stop to their dalliances. The opposite happens when the brunette discovers that Bernie is seeing someone.

“Mine. Tonight.” She catches Bernie unawares on the ward, and leans in to practically order her to come round after her shift. She is gone before Bernie can say ‘no.’

When Bernie lets herself in, she sees that Serena has lit candles all over the hallway and up the stairs to her bedroom. _What was going on?_ If Bernie didn’t know better, she’d say the whole thing was awfully romantic.

“Serena?” She calls out looking for the brunette.

“I’m up here.” Serena’s voice seems to be coming from her bedroom.

Bernie staggers in the doorway to the room, when she sees Serena sprawled seductively on the bed and wearing a sexy matching set of lingerie. _She’s never done that before..._

“Clothes off, Major.” Serena practically purrs as she runs her hands all over her own body.

Bernie isn’t sure if this would constitute cheating on Jayne, if she never actually touches Serena or has Serena touch her. “Serena, what’s with all... _this?_ Bernie sweeps her hand over the scene.

“All what?” Serena says it almost coquettishly, feigning ignorance.

“Uh, the candles, the lingerie, wait, are those rose petals on the bed?” Bernie looks completely confused

“Might be.” Serena shrugs as if she’s not prepared all this deliberately for the blonde.

“And is that an ice bucket with champagne?” Bernie can’t believe what she’s seeing.

“A girl gets thirsty after exercise.” Serena summons the blonde to her bed with one curled finger. “Come over here. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Serena... I don’t think this is a good idea.” The brunette tries not to look wounded at that.

“Alright, if you don’t like the lingerie, I’ll just take it off.” And she does. Then she climbs back onto the bed and starts to touch herself. “Don’t just stand there. Strip and lie down.”

Bernie knows she shouldn’t, but she wants to. And so she gives in. She slips out of her things and climbs in after the brunette.

“That’s better.” Serena feels like she’s won at least a small victory. “Now, let me see you touch yourself for me.” Serena knows she being driven mostly by jealousy at this point, but she doesn’t care. Bernie is here and not with this _Jayne_ character.

The blonde closes her eyes, trying to stem the tears she knows are close. Serena wants this and because she loves Serena, she will give it to her. She settles herself and then she does as Serena has asked.

“That’s it. Good. Very good.” Serena watches her intently; she feels like tonight is different because it’s not just about sex anymore. She loves Bernie and she doesn’t want her to be with Jayne. “Have you done this with her?”

“No.” Bernie knows exactly who she means.

“Just for me then.” Serena should feel appalling about her behaviour, but smug satisfaction is all there is.

“Yes.” Bernie confirms.

“Do you love her?”

“No, I...” Instead of saying _love you_ she just says “...we’ve only been on a few dates. Serena, I don’t know.” Bernie bites her lip to try to keep the tears at bay.

“Would touching Jayne make you feel the way you do when we’re here together? Would you touch her the way you’re touching yourself right now?” Serena knows she’s pushing too hard, but she’s consumed by her jealousy.

“I...” Bernie knows what Serena wants. And just to make this stop she prays it happens quickly. “Oh Serena... you’re making me feel incredible...” She needs to steer the conversation away from Jayne, she already feels like a cad for doing this to her.

“Right back at you.” Serena is in heaven, as she mirrors the blonde’s efforts on her own body. “Bernie, I need...”

“I know... I do too.” Bernie gasps as she feels her orgasm build inside her. “I’m close. Oh God, Serena. I’m...” She brushes the pad of her thumb over her clit one final time and that’s all it takes. “Serena!!”

“I’m coming, Bernie. I’m coming.” She smiles as she climaxes, feeling overcome with pleasure. “Fuck. Bernie. That was amazing.” She reaches over then, she’s ready to touch her now, to tell her that she loves her. But the blonde isn’t there anymore. She sits up to see the blonde hurriedly putting her clothes back on. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” Bernie snaps. “This can’t happen again.” And then she’s gone.

Neither would admit to it, but they both cry themselves to sleep that night.

* * *

Bernie has stopped seeing Jayne, but she has also stopped seeing Serena. In fact, she finds it hard to even look at the brunette. Serena knows it’s her fault. She has wracked her brain trying to find a way to make it up to the blonde.

“Bernie?” She says when they’re forced to be alone whilst doing paperwork in the office just before their shift ends.

“What?” The blonde barks out the word.

“I hope you don’t mind. I asked Jayne to come meet you at that little Italian place you’re so fond of at 8pm tonight.” Serena gnaws at her bottom lip, hoping this was ok.

“Why would you do that?” Bernie is genuinely puzzled, she never expected Serena to say that.

“Because you really liked her and I ruined it with my terrible behaviour. Consider it my way of apologising.” Serena offers her a small smile. “I told her that it was my fault you’d broken up and that you both should give it another try.”

“I... um... thank you...” Bernie returns the smile, but she doesn’t really mean it. If Serena was setting her back up with Jayne, then she really wasn’t interested in a relationship with Bernie after all.

“You’re welcome. I hope you have a lovely evening.” Serena is in agony, because she loves Bernie, but she needs to get over herself and let the blonde have the happiness she deserves. She grabs her coat and bag and half runs away to her car.

“You too, Serena.” Bernie calls after her and waits until the brunette leaves before putting her head in her hands and letting the tears fall.

* * *

“Jason, love! Dinner is almost ready.” Serena calls up to the young man who was reading in his bedroom.

“Yes, Auntie Serena. I’ll be right down.” Serena smiles and goes back to the kitchen to start dishing up.

“Auntie Serena why are you so sad?” It was a question that stunned the brunette.

“I’m not sad, Jason. Why would you think I was?” Serena tries to smile to hide the fact that he’s right.

“I think it’s because you love Doctor Bernie.” He surprises her even more by hitting the nail on the head. “But you think she doesn’t love you. I think you’re wrong. Bernie loves you very much.”

“She does?” Serena enquires as to what makes him think so.

“Well, she’s always talking about you. Most of it is complimentary. And she comes over all the time, even if she might have had her own plans. For example, you said she was having dinner with her girlfriend tonight, but she’s here now.” Jason grins.

“Now?” Serena furrows her brow. “Bernie isn’t here, love.”

“She is. I saw her sitting in her car outside from my window.” Jason explains just as the doorbell rings.

Serena slowly gets up from the table and goes to answer the door.

“Hello, Serena.” Bernie smiles as she greets her. “Can I come in for a sec?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, of course you can.” Serena ushers her inside. “But why aren’t you at dinner with Jayne?”

“We talked and we decided not to start seeing each other again.” Bernie shrugs as she takes off her coat and drapes it over the back of the sofa. She notices then that Jason is waving at her from the dining room and waves back. “I’m interrupting your dinner.” Bernie looks sheepish.

“It’s ok. Have you eaten? There’s plenty left over if you’d like some?” Serena makes up a plate for the blonde, and then all three of them eat dinner and talk companionably.

“Auntie Serena, Greta and her parents will be here in seventeen minutes, I’d better go get my things.” Jason stands and clears his place before heading upstairs.

“Greta is his girlfriend. Nice girl. She and her parents have invited Jason to stay with them for the weekend.” Serena gets Bernie up to speed when she looks adorably confused. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Jayne.” Serena fishes for more information, as she swirls her wine in her glass before taking a sip.

“S'ok. It was mutual.” Bernie finishes her plate and then takes both hers and the brunette’s into the kitchen to stack in the dishwasher.

“They’re here!” Jason bounds back downstairs with his backpack on.

“Alright, love. I’ll see you out.” Serena stands and moves towards the young man.

“Bye, Jason! Have a great weekend!” Bernie calls to him from the kitchen.

“Thank you, Doctor Bernie. You too.” Jason waves at both women and even lets his Aunt hug him. “Tell her you love her.” He whispers to Serena and looks at her knowingly. “I’ll see you at 3pm on Sunday.”

“Yes, see you then, love.” Serena thanks Greta and her parents again for letting him stay and waves as their car pulls out of her driveway.

“I guess I should be off.” Bernie points at the front door.

“I know you didn’t come round to eat leftovers and see Jason off.” Serena folds her arms, signifying that Bernie was to go nowhere.

“No... I guess not.” Now that she really has to admit her feelings to Serena, she can’t seem to find her words. “Could we maybe...?” She indicates the couch and waits for Serena to sit down, before settling herself beside her. The blonde places her hand over both of Serena’s, when she notes the brunette’s shaking slightly in her lap. “I...” She falters again when Serena looks at her as she speaks. Perhaps this was something she could say without words. She glances at the brunette’s dark brown eyes and then down at her lush, full lips. _Time to be brave_ , she thinks as she closes the gap.

Serena submits willingly to the blonde’s mouth on hers, sighing in relief into Bernie’s mouth. She slips her hands out from under Bernie’s to grab the blonde’s face. Leaning back to lie on her sofa, she pulls Bernie down on top of her, and moans loudly when Bernie’s fingers wander under her blouse. They had spent so long not kissing and not touching, that Serena feels dizzy at the headiness of it all at once.

“Let’s go upstairs.” She says into Bernie’s ear, making the blonde pull away like she’s been stung.

“I broke the rules, didn’t I? No touching.” Bernie looks sad and lost, this was just another layer to their strange game. “I think I should go.”

“No. What? Why? Bernie, where are you going? Please. Wait.” Serena thinks she knows what was making her want to run off. “I didn’t mean that we should... do what we normally do... upstairs. I don’t want to just do that anymore. I never really did in the first place. I just thought it would be better than nothing.” It’s Serena’s turn to look sad and lost. “I’m not proud of how I’ve behaved, but I want to make it right because... because I’m in love with you.”

“What?” Bernie can’t have heard what she’s just heard.

“I love you.” Serena catches her eye, to make sure she knows it’s true.

“Really?” Bernie’s smile is hesitant until Serena nods and then it almost splits her face it two. “Serena...” She crowds the brunette and strokes the side of the Serena’s face. “...I am so in love with you.”

“You are?” Serena can hardly believe it. “I wanted to tell you that night, with all the candles and the lingerie and the champagne...” She looks ashamed of how badly that had played out. “...I was jealous that you were with Jayne and I was horrible to you. I used you because I couldn’t say how I really felt. I’m so sorry.”

Bernie would forgive her anything. “It doesn’t matter now.” She smiles at Serena and kisses her softly. “We can go upstairs, if you still want to.”

“Most definitely.” Serena is ecstatic that they will finally get to make love.

Bernie scoops her up and carries her upstairs. The brunette’s arms are draped around Bernie’s neck and she kisses her with such passion that the blonde knows she has to have her soon or she’ll combust. “Are you sure?” Bernie checks again, before she sets Serena down on her back on the bed, and divests her of her clothes.

Serena places her hand over Bernie’s to halt her progress, when the blonde starts to undress herself. “Can I?” Now that they could touch each other, Serena wants to make the most of it. She kneels up on the mattress and starts to undo the buttons on Bernie’s shirt while she kisses her gently. Then she slips her hands inside the edges of the fabric and pulls it down the blonde’s arms and on to the floor. Next, she unbuttons and unzips Bernie’s trousers and lets them pool to the floor as well. Encouraging the blonde to step out of them and kick off her socks, Serena grins as she now has Bernie is just her bra and pants.

Bernie knows that they’ve seen each other naked before, but this feels different, intimate. “Serena.” She stutters out the brunette’s name as Serena unhooks her bra and removes it. “Oh God...” Bernie almost topples over when Serena’s warm mouth covers her left breast in soft kisses, and then she takes the nipple between her teeth. Her hands tickle over the blonde’s sides, before she tugs off her pants to follow her bra.

“I’ve wanted to be with you for such a long time.” Serena whispers the confession, as she gets emotional thinking of all the ways she’d messed things up and almost not ended up here. “I’m so sorry that I...” She gasps in a breath, trying to stay calm.

“Let’s forget all that, ok? We both made mistakes, but we got there in the end.” Bernie runs her thumb along Serena’s jaw and then kisses her gently. Trying to covey her depth of feeling for the brunette in one simple kiss was impossible. “Are you sure you’re alright with this?” She rests her head against Serena’s to ask it into her ear.

“You’re the one who’s naked in my bedroom, Wolfe. What do you think?” Serena arches an eyebrow, a devilish grin on her gorgeous lips. Her face falls when she adds. “It’s not the first time...” She avoids eye contact then.

“We could even things up a bit.” Bernie coaxes her to meet her eyes again, and then slides the straps of Serena’s bra down her arms, stroking her way to the clasp and removing it completely. Next, she makes light work of the brunette’s pants too. “My God, Serena, you are so beautiful.” Serena doesn’t think she’s ever heard anyone say it so sincerely, and she smiles shyly, before dragging the blonde down on top of her on the bed.

“I want you to make love to me, Bernie. I want us to make love together.” Serena _needs_ her. _Now._ “Please...” She glances up into the blonde’s eyes before her gaze flits to Bernie’s mouth, and her plea is swallowed by a searing kiss.

“Are you really sure?” Bernie pushes up on her palms, knees either side of Serena’s hips.

“I’ve never been surer, my love.” Serena runs her fingers over the curves and dips of the blonde’s body, admiring Bernie’s toned physique, which is entirely different to her own fuller, curvier shape. “I’m tired of just imagining what it would be like, aren’t you?”

That is the only inducement that Bernie seems to require, before her mouth and hands are everywhere at once, and Serena can’t remember how to breathe. The blonde takes to her task with vigour, like she’s been _starved_ of contact and now she can have her fill. “You’re perfect.” She whispers against Serena’s skin, and takes one pebbled nipple between her teeth, tugging it gently.

“Fuck. Bernie. Oh God. Yes.” Serena threads her fingers through blonde curls, wanting her to stay there and keep doing that. She’s almost sure she’ll pass out when Bernie’s nimble fingers replicate the action on her other breast. “Please, oh... Bernie, please.” She’s not entirely certain what she’s begging for, but she knows she is, and she’s never cared less. “I need you to touch me.”

“I was fairly sure that I was touching you.” Bernie pinches her nipple once more for emphasis, and Serena groans in pleasure and frustration.

“No, I mean...” She grabs the blonde’s hand in hers and guides it down between her own legs. “I can’t wait any longer. Bernie.... please.” Serena is beside herself with how turned on she is right now. She might die if Bernie doesn’t do something about the situation between her thighs soon. “I’m so –” She cries out when Bernie finally strokes her just where she needs.

“I know you are.” Bernie can tell, can _feel_ how much Serena wants her and it’s fucking amazing. Covering the brunette’s mouth with her own, she sets up a slow, deliberate pace to her efforts between Serena’s legs. “I’m going to make you feel incredible.” She vows as her lips offer warm, wet kisses to every part of Serena she can reach.

“Bernie, I love you. Bernie.... oh... oh... yes. Oh God, please.” Serena is brought to the brink faster than she can ever remember it happening before, as Bernie’s fingers work a little harder and quicker on her swollen clit. She doesn’t even give a damn that Bernie’s barely touched her yet and here she is, teetering on the edge. “Kiss me. Please. Bernie I’m –” A low growl leaves her just before Bernie presses her lips sweetly to hers, the beginnings of Serena’s release moaned into the blonde’s mouth.

She’s flying and falling at the same time then, as her body takes every last drop of pleasure that Bernie wants to give it. Just when she thinks she’s ridden the wave; another follows on its heels. “Again, oh I’m coming again. Bernie.” Serena can hardly believe it, no one besides herself has ever given her multiple orgasms before. And it appears that Bernie isn’t content with two either...

There’s barely enough air left in Serena’s lungs to signal that she's coming for the third (or was it fourth?) time. Her body feels both heavy and light when she sinks into the mattress beneath her again, boneless and deliciously exhausted. “My God, woman. If I’d known just how good you were at this, I’d have thrown myself at you weeks ago.” Serena chuckles at her own honesty. “That was amazing. I’ve never... more than once... like that before.” She kisses the blonde beside her lazily, body still twitching occasionally with aftershocks.

“I love you, Serena.” Bernie thinks she might cry at just how beautiful the brunette looks in this moment.

“I love you, Bernie.” Serena smiles as the blonde swipes her sweaty hair off her forehead and kisses it gently. Then she is burying her face in the crook of Serena’s neck and scattering light kisses across her throat. “Mmmmmmm, that’s nice.” Serena knows that despite the fact she was sure she was spent only moments ago, that Bernie’s mouth is starting to reignite her desire. “Wait.” Her voice makes Bernie stop and move her head sharply upwards to look her in the eye. The blonde’s dark eyes burn with hurt and silent questions as to why Serena had halted her. Serena immediately wants to reassure her that she was not regretting anything that had just happened. “As much as I was enjoying what you were doing, and however much I would love to see where that was going, I really would like to touch you.”

“Serena, I’m not keeping score. You don’t need to feel like you have to owe me anything. I love touching you, I’m not just waiting for my turn.” Bernie doesn’t want to pressure the brunette to reciprocate if she’s not ready for that.

“I want to.” Serena suddenly flips their positions, so that she is now on top of the blonde, her legs either side of Bernie’s waist. “I love you and I want to show you how much.” Serena’s smile lights up the whole room, when Bernie nods her agreement. “I’m determined to be good at this.” She whispers hotly into Bernie’s ear, and the blonde (who knows first-hand just how focused Serena can be with her sights set on something she wants) can only hold on for dear life.

“Serena...” Bernie gasps out the name when the brunette’s fingertips brush over her nipple, which is already firm from the chill of the room and the touch. “Oh Serena, I’ve wanted you so much. For so long. Please...” Bernie feels like she’s rambling but she can’t seem to stop herself as all of her unspoken desires and feelings rush to the surface. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I love you.” She puffs out a quick breath as Serena shifts to lie beside her and the brunette’s hand tickles down her abdomen and reaches the dark patch of curls at the apex of her thighs. “Jesus. Yes. Oh God. Please. Serena, I –” She covers her eyes with her arm when the brunette starts to tease between her legs with those magical fingers of hers.

“Bernie. Look at me.” Serena demands and the blonde willingly obeys. The look in Serena’s eyes almost bores a hole straight through to her soul. She’s certain no one has ever looked at her that way before. “I want to see you. I want to watch you come.”

“Saying things like that will certainly speed up the process.” Bernie chuckles, a joyous sound, and Serena is spellbound by how gorgeous she is.

“I love you.” Serena’s voice is soft and full of wonder.

“And I love you.” Bernie smiles into another round of passionate kisses. Serena uses the blonde’s reactions to guide her, dumbstruck by how she could possibly be making this sinful string of noises and expletives come out of Bernie, who was normally so reticent and reserved.

“Serena... oh... that’s... oh God...” Bernie can only watch open-mouthed as the brunette kisses down the same path that her hand had just taken. Serena’s warm mouth on her abdomen makes the room spin, as she can hardly believe what she’s seeing, or feeling.

“I want to know what you taste like.” Serena’s eyes are almost black by this point, piercing straight through to Bernie’s core.

“Jesus...” Bernie has never heard anything sound so fucking sexy before. “Oh fuck... yes...” All of her motor skills desert her entirely when Serena swipes between her thighs with that perfect tongue of hers. “Yes. Please. Don’t stop.” Bernie thinks she might die if Serena doesn’t keep going, she’s so desperate for release.

Serena drags her tongue down from the blonde’s clit to swirl at her entrance and then back up again. Bernie arches almost painfully off the bed then, and Serena repeats the action a few more times to much the same response, before taking pity on Bernie and sucking her clit into her mouth, focusing solely on it to make the blonde come.

“Serena, yes, yes, oh yes, please. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” Bernie feels the familiar tingling begin in the small of her back and between her legs, as her thighs start to quiver and she finally lets go. “I’m coming. Serena. Oh, I’m coming. Look at me come for you.” Her head is thrown back and her eyes closed at some point as she bows tightly and shakes all over. Somewhere in the foggy recesses of her consciousness she remembers that Serena wanted to watch her come, and she manages to meet her eyes while she is still in the throes of her orgasm. Serena is mesmerised by the sight, as Bernie holds eye contact with the most gorgeous look on her face. Then she is limp and sinking into the mattress underneath her, as her breathing stays laboured and her body wonderfully sated.

“Was that ok?” Serena comes back up to lie beside her, a slightly worried look crinkles the space between her eyebrows.

“I mean...” Bernie tries to speak, and a sharp huff escapes between each word, “... it was perfect.” Her smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, but she hasn’t the muscle strength left to make it match the intense pleasure she’s just experienced. “I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell.”

Serena curls herself into the blonde’s side, bringing the duvet up to keep them both warm now that the sweat on their skin was starting to cool. “I love you too.” She nestles in as close as she can to Bernie’s body, the gentle thudding of the blonde’s heart against her ear reassuring her that this was really happening. “Do you still keep a packed overnight bag in your boot?” She twists her head to look into Bernie’s eyes.

“You can take the girl out of the army, but not the army out of the girl.” Bernie chuckles and nods that she does indeed. “Why?”

“Stay.” Serena wants them to fall asleep holding each other, she wants to wake up beside Bernie tomorrow morning. She's not sure she ever wants to not do those things from now on.

“I can think of nothing I’d love more.” She kisses Serena’s hairline and then they settle in, with limbs tangled and matching grins before they drift of to sleep.


	16. Love Is A Blind Date

Serena spots her at the bar as soon as she walks through the door: a slim blonde with her back to her. She strides purposefully towards her, the only sound beyond her heartbeat is the heels of her stilettos tapping against the wooden floor. Once she reaches her she gets her attention by placing a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

“Emily?” Serena asks with a bright, friendly smile.

“Um – nope – sorry – not me.” The blonde is _very_ sorry she isn’t whoever Emily was, because the woman is breath-taking. Then Serena remembers her hand is still on the blonde’s shoulder, snatching it back like she’s been burned.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else. Obviously.” Serena shakes her head at how pointless her explanation was. “Hi, could I have a glass of Shiraz please?” She politely asks the bartender as she sits at the stool next to the blonde who is currently hugging a glass of what looked like whiskey.

“Blind date, huh?” Bernie makes an educated guess and then sips her whiskey.

“Is it that obvious?” Serena combs her fingernails through the short hairs at the base of her neck.

“Only because you don’t seem to know what Emily looks like.” The blonde shrugs and smiles over at the brunette.

“All I know is she’s tall and blonde and she’d be waiting at the bar. Hence, I thought you were her.” Serena thanks the barman when he sets her wine in front of her. “Are you waiting on a date too?” She glances at the blonde before taking her first sip of wine, accompanied by a moan of satisfaction at the taste.

“No, I’m meeting my daughter for dinner.” As if on cue, the blonde fishes her phone out of the pocket of her jeans when it goes off. “Scratch that, she’s stuck in work.” She slides her phone back into her pocket, places the money for her drink on the bar, and then knocks back the remainder of her whiskey. “Good luck for your date!” Bernie smiles warmly at the brunette stranger and then climbs off her barstool to leave.

Serena’s phone also buzzes just as the blonde starts to walk away. “Looks like I’ve been stood up.” The brunette calls after her, no idea why she’s telling all this to a perfect stranger.

“I’m sorry, she clearly needs a psych assessment if she’s stood you up.” Bernie thinks this Emily would have to be crazy, there’s no other justifiable reason to leave this gorgeous brunette hanging.

“So, obviously you haven't had dinner yet?” Serena doesn’t want the blonde to leave just yet.

Her curls bounce as she shakes her head.

“Well, the table is available.” Serena starts to suggest that they eat together.

“You want to have dinner with me. Someone you just met at the bar five minutes ago.” Bernie is more than a little sceptical.

“Technically, I’ve known you long than Emily and I was going to have dinner with her.” Serena counters.

“Touché.” Bernie chuckles and walks back over. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” Serena feels an affinity with the woman for reasons she can’t quite explain. “I’m Serena Campbell by the way.” She sticks out her hand to shake the blonde’s.

“Bernie Wolfe.” The blonde firmly returns the handshake.

Serena gets the attention of one of the waiting staff and asks if her table for two is ready.

“Ah yes, right this way.” The waiter grabs two menus and the wine list before leading them to their table. “Can I get you ladies anything to drink while you look at the menu?” He glances expectantly between the two women.

“I’d like another glass of Shiraz please.” Serena smiles and then opens up her menu.

“And I’ll take another whiskey please.”

“So, Bernie...” Serena eyes her over the top of her open menu. “... what do you do for a living?”

“I’m just home from my final tour with the RAMC. I’m a trauma consultant. How about you?” Bernie finds she can’t keep her eyes off the brunette, she really is indescribably beautiful.

“I’m the lead consultant of the Acute Admissions Unit of a local hospital. Holby City.”

“Small world. I’m due to start there next week in general surgery.” Bernie would be seeing a lot more of the other surgeon it seemed.

“I very much doubt that Keller Ward will be anywhere near as exciting as any of the warzones you’re use to.” Serena quips.

“That’s fine by me. I’m glad to be home, and I want to spend more time with my kids. We’ve not been as close since the divorce.” Bernie ducks her head with a deep blush.

“Ah well, I’m a fully paid up member of the embittered ex-wives club myself.” Serena raises her glass to clink with the blonde’s, before remembering that Bernie doesn't have one yet.

“I’m afraid the divorce was my fault. It tends to end that way when you announce that you’re a lesbian and that you had an affair with a junior officer. My kids are only just starting to speak to me again.” Bernie picks at an imaginary stain on the tablecloth.

“You must be making headway if you were meeting your daughter for dinner.” Serena kindly reminds her.

“Good thing this isn’t a date, eh? I’m really setting the mood.” Bernie laughs harshly at herself.

“What do your kids do?” Serena artfully deflects the conversation, seeing the blonde’s obvious discomfort at discussing her strained relationship with her children.

“Cameron, he’s my oldest. He’s in med school. And Charlotte is in marketing.” Bernie’s features soften when she talks about them, she clearly loved them immeasurably.

“You must be very proud. My daughter Ellie, she’s an only child, and she’s just finishing her degree in journalism.”

“I’m sure you’re proud of her too.” Bernie thanks the waiter who brings their drinks and starters out.

The food is delicious, and Serena is perfect company. Bernie can’t remember the last time she’d laughed this much. Before either of them realise it, the restaurant is about to close and they have to think about wandering outside in search of taxis home.

“What say I buy you lunch to celebrate your first day next week?” Serena links elbows with the blonde as they walk the short distance to the nearest taxi rank.

“That would be nice.” Bernie easily agrees.

“Let me give you my number.” Serena holds out her free hand for Bernie’s phone, and then types in her information. “Call me.” She says just before slipping into the backseat of her taxi.

“I will, I promise.” Bernie vows as she shuts the car door for the brunette and waves her off. Then she gets into her own cab and heads for home.

Now that she has Serena’s number, she’s not sure how long to wait before calling her. Staring at her name on her phone screen while she paces in her bedroom, Bernie wonders if it’s too soon just to call Serena now. As she presses the button to start the call she supposes she can pass it off as wanting to give Serena her number in return.

Serena is reading in bed when her phone rings from a number she doesn’t recognise. “Hello.” She answers it after a few rings.

“Hello. Serena. Hi. It’s me. I mean it’s Bernie.” She raises her eyes to the ceiling and tells herself to just stay calm. “I just wanted to check that you got home safely.”

“Yes, I did. You’re very sweet to check on me.” Serena smiles to herself, she’s glad the blonde had called.

“Well, uh, I guess you have my number now so...” Bernie trails off, she was no good at small talk, especially with attractive brunettes apparently. “Um...” She wills herself to think of something, ANYTHING, to say.

“How about you, did you get home ok?” Serena shows her mercy by filling the awkward silence.

“Yep. Yes. Yes, I did. Yep.” Bernie searches her brain for inspiration. “Did you hear from Emily?” _Why?! Why in God’s name would you ask that?!_ She closes her eyes and could kick herself.

“I – uh – no....” Serena sounds disappointed. Bernie assumes it’s because she got stood up. However, the brunette is secretly a little upset that Bernie seemed to want her to see Emily after all.

“Oh... she might.... she might contact you to reschedule. Do you think you’ll go?” Bernie holds her breath waiting for Serena’s reply.

“I guess so.” Serena says it rather sadly. She had thought that there was a spark between her and the blonde, but Bernie clearly didn’t think so. “Anyway, it’s late and I have an early shift tomorrow so...”

“Right, yes. Of course. I’ll see you, Serena.” Bernie knows it’s ridiculous to be this upset over a woman she’d just met.

“Bye.” Serena hangs up then and stares at her phone for a few moments before setting it on her bedside table.

* * *

S: Still on for lunch? How’s your first shift going? S x

Serena has pressed send before she can reconsider the ‘x’ on the end. She hadn’t seemed to be able to stop herself from texting or phoning the blonde most days in the run-up to Bernie’s first day.

B: Going fine. Yep, I’ll see you at 1pm. B x

Serena grins when she sees that Bernie has sent a ‘x’ back. They’d spoken in one way or another every day for over a week now. _That had to mean something..._ She doesn’t have the chance to read more into it as she’s needed on the ward. Then she is in and out of theatre constantly and barely has time to text Bernie that she won’t make it to lunch.

S: I’m so sorry, going to be stuck in theatre. Rain check for lunch? :-( S xx

B: No problem. Hope it goes well in theatre! B xx

Serena is exhausted by the time she changes out of her scrubs and drags herself to her office. As she walks through the door she sees Bernie standing by the desk with her back to her.

“Bernie, what are you doing here? Your shift finished hours ago.”

The blonde turns with a small smile to reveal what she’d laid out on the desk: a bottle of Shiraz with two glasses and some Chinese food with plates and cutlery.

“I thought you might need this since you had to skip lunch.” Bernie pours a glass for the brunette and hands it over.

“You are an angel.” Serena sips her wine and lets the aroma of the food start to make her feel human again. “This is lovely. Thank you.” Unthinkingly, she moves to peck the blonde’s cheek, and they both blush at the contact.

“You’re welcome.” Bernie catches Serena’s eye as they stand face to face.

“Let’s eat.” Serena clears her throat and makes up two plates before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. “Have a seat.” She indicates the space beside her.

“Sure.” Bernie settles next to the brunette as they eat in contented silence. “So, tell me about your day?” The blonde eats another forkful and turns to concentrate on Serena.

Serena has never found it so easy to talk to anyone as she gives Bernie the rundown of her shift. “And how about yours? First day go alright?” Serena lifts their plates and glasses to set them back on the desk. Then she pours them both another glass before sitting back down next to the blonde.

“I think it went well.” Bernie smiles over at the other woman.

“Thank you again for this. It was just what I needed.” Serena curls her little finger around Bernie’s as their hands lay on the floor between them. Then she glances up from their hands to look into Bernie’s eyes.

“It was no trouble. Just wanted to do something nice for you.” Bernie closes her eyes with a dopey smile on her gorgeous face, that Serena just wants to kiss away.

“Bernie...” Serena waits for her eyes to open again. “... I was wondering if...” The brunette’s gaze flickers between Bernie’s eyes and her mouth. She starts to move, wanting to bridge the gap between their lips. She is almost there when her phones pings in her pocket. Pulling it out with an apology in her eyes, she swipes at the screen to read the text message.

“What’s up?” Bernie notices the change in Serena’s body language.

“It’s Emily.” Serena says without looking up.

“Oh.” Bernie suddenly feels like the ground is made of quicksand.

“She’s sorry about the other night, wants to meet up for a drink.” Serena’s heart sinks, she didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay here with Bernie.

“That’s good news. Don’t let me keep you. You should go.” Bernie stands to clear up the remnants of their dinner. It was taking everything in her not to throw herself at Serena’s feet and beg her not to go. “Keep the Shiraz.” She doesn’t even look at the brunette before she hurries out of the office, leaving Serena to watch her walk away.

* * *

B: I’m sorry for running out on you earlier. I hope you & Emily have a nice evening. B x

Bernie knew it wasn’t Serena’s fault, it’s not as if she had any kind of claim on the brunette. She hadn’t even told her that she was attracted to her. Her phone rings almost instantly and she’s surprised to see that it’s Serena.

“Hi.” She says cautiously, not sure why the brunette would be calling her while on a date.

“Bernie, hi. I didn’t feel like meeting Emily for drinks.” Serena sounds a bit deflated.

“Is everything alright? You sound upset.” Bernie’s concern is obvious in her voice.

“I don’t know. I just feel...” Serena doesn’t have a word for how she’s feeling.

“I’m coming over.” Bernie grabs her bag and car keys in her free hand and is on her way out to her car before Serena can protest. “If you want me to.” Bernie realises that she might be intruding by just showing up like that.

“I do.” Serena already sounds happier and Bernie smiles into the phone.

“I won’t be long. See you soon. Oh, but first I guess you’d better tell me where you live.” Bernie memorises the address before hanging up, she just has a stop or two to make on route.

Serena greets her with a bright smile and her forehead creases slightly when she sees the shopping bags in the blonde’s hand.

“I brought ice cream and silly movies. Thought you might need cheering up.” Bernie brings everything into the kitchen and waits for Serena to show her where everything is before she starts making up two huge bowls of ice cream. “Why don’t you choose the film, from that other bag?” Bernie tilts her chin towards the one at the other end of the worktop.

“You really didn’t need to go to all this trouble.” Serena is touched by the blonde’s kindness, and kisses her on the cheek to thank her. The kiss lasts longer than is probably considered friendly, and Serena yearns to bring their mouths together instead.

“Well, it’s done now. Why don’t we go through and watch the film?” Bernie lets the brunette go first towards the living room, while she carries the bowls of ice cream.

Serena takes the bowls and places them on the coffee table to let the blonde get comfortable on the sofa beside her. She even convinces Bernie to kick off her shoes so that they can sit under a blanket together.

The ice cream is delicious and the film makes them both laugh uncontrollably. At some stage, Serena’s hand seeks out Bernie’s underneath the blanket. Bernie glances over at the brunette to make sure she’s aware that she’s done it. So there can be no mistaking it, Serena leans into the blonde’s side and cuddles up to her.

“This is so lovely.” Serena sighs out, contented. She wraps her arm around Bernie’s waist and tries to hold her as close as possible. Bernie’s goose honk laugh fills the room, but Serena can see that the scene in the film is not a funny one. “Why are you laughing?” She turns her head up to look at the blonde.

“You have a raspberry ripple moustache.” Bernie looks fondly at the brunette curled into her. She runs her thumb unthinkingly along Serena’s upper lip to remove the ice cream. The action makes Serena moan softly in pleasure. When Bernie looks into her eyes, she sees a telling darkness she could never have anticipated. “Sorry...” Bernie focuses on the film once more, refusing to meet Serena’s eye, and her cheeks are burning with a mixture of embarrassment and desire.

“Bernie...” Serena wants to address this burgeoning attraction between them, to at least know that Bernie felt it too.

“Yeah...” Bernie isn’t able to make her eyes meet Serena’s.

“We need to talk.” Bernie knew what was coming next: rejection.

“What about?” The blonde pretends not to know exactly what about.

“You and I.” Serena starts to tell her.

“Stop.” Bernie puts her hand up to silence her. “You don’t need to say it. I understand. I’ll go now.”

“No – what?” Serena pulls the blonde back down by the wrist. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” Bernie thought that was fairly obvious.

“I don’t want you to.” Serena blurts out. “I – I mean – stay – please. I need to talk to you. I’m not asking you to leave.”

“Ok.” Bernie isn’t sure what to make of that.

“I like you.” Serena knows it sounds pathetic the second she says it.

“I like you too.” Bernie shrugs, of course Serena didn’t like her the way Bernie liked Serena, but that was ok.

“As a friend?” Serena phrases it like a question.

“Um...” Bernie hesitates because she knows the answer is _no_. “... sure, friends. Yeah, that’s what we are. I guess.” She looks to Serena to check that she’s said the right thing. “It’s just that...”

“Yes?” Serena breathes out on a hopeful gasp.

“I –” Bernie's words fail her as she decides instead to answer by leaning in to kiss the brunette. She is relieved and delighted that Serena didn’t seem to be pulling away. That was until the brunette’s phone starts to ring.

Serena could throw the thing across the room, she’s beyond frustrated and disappointed that it forces them apart. She had to check it though in case it was Jason. Bernie notices the name flashing on the screen. _Emily._

“I think that’s my cue.” Bernie says it low and sadly. She quickly slips her boots back on before grabbing her stuff and heading for the door.

* * *

Bernie knows the universe is conspiring against her when the hospital’s CEO informs her that she is to help out on Serena’s ward.

“I think it will be an excellent fit, given your trauma experience, Ms Wolfe.” Henrik dismisses her without debate.

“Hello, Ms Campbell. Mr Hanssen asked me to lend a hand.” Bernie won’t meet her eye and they hadn’t spoken since that night at Serena’s house.

“He phoned ahead, I’ve been expecting you.” Serena moves her head to try to get Bernie to look at her. “I’ll be glad of the help. And it is quite the novelty to have you walk through my door instead of running out of it.” Serena is of course referencing what seemed to always happen now.

“Where do you want me?” Bernie asks, still not looking up and ignoring the brunette’s jab.

Serena thinks she can conjure up any number of places she _wants_ Bernie Wolfe. “How about we split these?” Serena lifts a sizeable pile of charts off her desk and hands off about half to the blonde.

“Great. Thanks.” Bernie takes her stack and goes out to the nurses station to go through everything.

Serena spends more time staring forlornly through the blinds at the trauma consultant than on her paperwork. She sees the blonde struggling to stand hunched over the charts.

“Ms Wolfe.” Serena calls her over. “There’s a perfectly fine spare desk in here if you’d like to use it. You look uncomfortable leaning down at the nurses station.” Serena runs her hand down the blonde’s arm in what she hopes is a supportive gesture.

“Alright. Thanks.” Bernie picks up her pile of charts and brings them into the office, sitting with a pained wince in the chair opposite Serena’s.

“Your back is hurting, isn’t it?” Serena watches her with obvious concern.

“Old injury. I’m fine.” Bernie knows she’s not fine, but she’ll be hanged before she’ll let her guard down in front of Serena.

“Let me take a look.” Serena stands beside her waiting.

“Excuse me?” Bernie looks petrified.

‘Come on. I’ll have a look.” Serena repeats it as if the blonde is hard of hearing. She closes the blinds and locks the door so they won’t be disturbed.

“Um...” All words leave her as she tries to think of a way to turn down Serena’s offer. Instead, she lets the brunette move her to sit astride one of the guest chairs and even pull the back of her scrub top up to her shoulders.

“Now...” Serena rubs her hands together to warm them up. “... holler if it gets too painful, ok?”

Bernie nods mutely and prepares herself for Serena touching her bare flesh. She groans in pain initially but then Serena’s hands start to ease out all the knots and it feels miraculous.

“How’s that?” Serena asks quietly. The only response she gets is a moan of relief as her hands work all of the tension out of the blonde’s muscles. “Bernie, will you have lunch with me later?” Serena tentatively asks.

“What for?” Bernie shifts uncomfortably in the chair. “That’s fine, my back is fine now. Thank you.” She adjusts her scrub top to cover herself up again.

“I just wanted to...” Serena says quietly.

“I can’t today.” Bernie opens the blinds and unlocks the door.

“Bernie, please...” Serena reaches out to her, but the blonde shrugs her off.

“I appreciate the offer, but no thanks.” Bernie stands firm.

“Maybe another time.” Serena knows better than to force the issue.

Bernie does her utmost to stay out of Serena’s way after that, unless it was something work-related. She skulks around the hospital like someone possessed, trying not to bump into the brunette, and she knows she must look ridiculous. She feels it. She has managed to make it to lunchtime without issue, that is until she’s standing in Pulses with her tray full of food searching for an empty table.

“Bernie!” She winces when she hears the brunette calling to her. She’s not sure how long she can pretend not to have heard, particularly as now she can also see out of the corner of her eye that Serena is waving to get her attention. She would be best just to acknowledge her and be done with it.

“Hello, Serena.” She walks over to the brunette’s table, but she will not sit with her. Especially since she now sees she isn’t alone.

“I thought you weren’t free for lunch.” Serena tries not to sound hurt but fails miserably.

“I wasn’t. Just had a consult with CT that didn’t take as long as I thought it might.” Bernie lies through her teeth.

“Hi.” Serena’s lunch companion breaks their eye contact by bringing their attention to her.

“Oh... yes... of course...” Serena suddenly remembers her guest and that she hasn’t introduced them. “Sorry, Bernie, this is Emily. Bernie works with me. Emily is my...” Serena isn’t sure what she is. “...uh... well we’re... dating.” She explains rather lamely.

“Nice to meet you.” Bernie says it to Emily, but her eyes stay fixed on Serena, her jealousy and pain obvious.

“And you.” Emily smiles up at the blonde, her eyes flitting from Bernie to Serena and back again.

“Well, I should probably get back.” Bernie doesn’t want to be here, watching Serena on a date with someone else.

“You could join us.” Really Serena had wanted to have lunch with Bernie, not Emily.

“No, don’t be silly. I’m only interrupting your date.” That last word sticks in her throat like she’s swallowed barbed wire. “I should...” She starts to back away, quickly setting her tray back and lifting its contents in her hand, before basically running back to the ward.

* * *

After that, Bernie keeps avoiding Serena. She knew that she was doing what was best for both of them by keeping things strictly professional, but she missed Serena too. That’s why, one evening, she accepts the offer of drinks after shift in Albies. There would be other staff there with them so it wasn’t as if she’d have to be alone with Serena.

“I wanted to thank you for all your efforts with the ward. It’s been nice having a second pair of hands at the helm.” Serena raises her glass to tap against the blonde’s.

“My pleasure. It’s been great working together.” Bernie had enjoyed watching the brunette work.

“How would you feel about making it more permanent?” Serena hazards.

“What do you mean?” Bernie frowns slightly confused.

“I’d like for you to be my co-lead on AAU.” Serena clarifies.

“Oh – um – what?” Bernie had not seen that coming.

“Your talents are wasted on Keller.” Serena explains.

“That’s not for you to decide.” For some reason Bernie feels defensive.

“No, but I’d like you to consider it. I’ve spoken to Hanssen –” Serena begins.

“Let me get this straight. You went behind my back to arrange this.” Bernie is inexplicably furious.

“It’s not arranged. I merely wanted you to think about the possibility.” Serena can’t understand why the blonde is so worked up about it. “Bernie, I –”

“Hello you. Sorry I’m late.” _Oh great, Emily’s here!_

“Emily, hi.” Serena looks up at the woman, feeling awkward.

Bernie feels like someone has run a stake through her heart. “I’ll... um... just...” The blonde points at the bar. “... give you two some privacy.” She slinks off to join the rest of the AAU crowd, but her eyes never leave Serena.

“How was your day?” Emily sits next to the brunette as she watches Bernie studying Serena, looking very much like a kicked puppy.

“Um... sorry what?” Emily can’t help but notice that Serena is watching the blonde just as intently.

“Serena, is there something going on between you and blondie over there?” Emily is direct and sure that there is definitely something.

“No.” Serena sounds disappointed.

“Do you want there to be?” Emily covers one of Serena’s hands with hers and rubs her thumb along the back in a gesture of comfort.

Bernie’s back goes ramrod straight when she sees Emily grab Serena’s hands. It was like someone was sitting on her chest, so that she couldn’t breathe.

“I... I...” Serena fights with herself not to start crying. “I... yes. Yes, I do. Oh God I’ve made such a mess of everything. I’m sorry.”

“And does she?” Emily thinks she already knows the answer, if the look on Bernie’s face is anything to go by.

“I don’t know.” Serena replies, feeling small and unsure.

“Why don’t you ask her?” Emily smiles warmly, squeezing Serena’s hand once more.

“I... yes, you’re right. Of course, I should...” Serena signals that she wants to go speak to Bernie now. “I’m sorry for all this, I do hope you won’t think badly of me.”

“I wish you both all the very best.” Emily starts to get ready to leave as she gives Serena a quick kiss on the cheek.

Bernie sees the kiss and it hits her squarely in the chest. She has to get out of here. Throwing a wad of notes at the bartender, she rushes out into the cool night air. As she tries to breathe, she feels big, fat, ugly tears rolling down from her eyes, and a sob escapes her as she struggles to keep herself from collapsing in agony.

Serena had seen the blonde hightail it out of the bar and without even thinking it through she legs it after her. It breaks her heart to hear Bernie crying and she gathers her up in her arms and clings to her tightly. “Bernie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” The answer may have been more believable if it weren’t accompanied by another sob and heavy sniffling.

“Please tell me.” Serena moves their faces until they are practically touching and she wipes away the blonde’s tears with her thumbs.

“It’s nothing. I’m sorry. You should go back inside. Emily will be waiting for you.” Bernie stares at the ground, afraid to even look at Serena in case it gives away the reason for her tears.

“We deciding to stop seeing each other.” Serena gently runs her fingers through the blonde’s unruly curls, hoping to soothe her pain in any way she can.

“What? Why?” Bernie’s head moves up sharply to look at Serena who merely nods in confirmation. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Serena counters.

“Of course, you really liked each other.” Bernie was also glad, but Serena didn’t need to know that.

“I’m not.” Serena holds Bernie’s face in both hands, willing her to see what was right in front of her.

“No? Why?” Bernie’s eyes crinkle as she tries to work out the answer.

“Don’t you know?” Serena’s eyes dart all over the blonde’s face, hoping she’s got this right. She prays the blonde has got the message and that Bernie feels something for her too.

Slowly at first, Bernie leans in and then she closes the gap all at once, kissing Serena soundly. Then she is lost in the feeling of Serena’s mouth against her own. She circles her arm around the brunette’s waist and pulls her impossibly closer. If all she did for the rest of her life was kiss Serena then she would be a very happy woman.

Serena pulls back just enough to rest her forehead against Bernie’s and she is grinning from ear to ear. “Let’s go have dinner somewhere. We can talk.”

“Ok.” Bernie readily agrees, her own grin mirrors Serena’s.

“And we can most definitely do more of this.” Serena dives back in to claim Bernie’s lips and they stay there just kissing each other until the evening chill forces them to walk off hand in hand and huddled together.

It doesn’t take much after that for Serena to convince Bernie to accept the co-lead post on AAU.


	17. Someone Else Is Holding You But I Want It To Be Me

Bernie was all too aware of how much she needed to get her mind off Serena Campbell. Ever since she’d first seen the brunette she’d been falling for her now co-lead. No point dwelling on her considerable crush though, because Serena was definitely straight. She had been trying her utmost to stay out of the vascular consultant's way unless there was something to do with work that they needed to discuss, or a procedure that required both of them in theatre. Which is why she’s now chancing tiny glances over her monitor at the other woman, wondering if she should speak to Serena since they were stuck together in their office for the foreseeable. No inspiration on what to say comes to kind, so she just carries on in weighted silence. Serena was making no effort at conversation either, so perhaps she didn’t want to be disturbed anyway. A knock on the door startles them both slightly as they simultaneously tell whoever it was to come in.

“Hello, madre.” Cam grins at his mother and nods at Serena in greeting.

“How many times, it’s Ms Wolfe at work.” Bernie tries to sound annoyed, but she can’t keep the fondness out of her voice. She was just thrilled to have both her babies speaking to her again.

“I know, but I guess I thought that since I’m here to talk about something personal that we could skip standing on ceremony.” Cam has a certain glint in his eye that worries Bernie greatly.

“Please, PLEASE, don’t tell me you’ve decided to drop out of med school again.” Bernie holds up her hand and turns her head as if it might shield her from the inevitable bad news.

“No, Mum...” Bernie sighs, relieved, but it’s short-lived. “...I meant personal for _you_.”

“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?” Bernie narrows her eyes at her eldest. “What is it?”

“I have arranged a date for you.” He looks altogether far too pleased with himself.

“A _what_?!” Bernie suddenly chokes on thin air.

“A date, Mum.” Cam talks to her like she’s going senile. “Two people, socialising, chatting, getting to know each other, similar interests, maybe a spark of romance.”

“Yes, Cam, I know what a date is.” There is a clipped sharpness to Bernie’s tone that Serena has rarely heard unless she’s _really_ mad. “ What I’m struggling with is why you think I need one and why you thought it would be acceptable to go behind my back to, as you say, _arrange_ one for me.” She stands to her full height and crosses her arms, waiting for an explanation. _And it had better be a damn good one._

“Well, I heard from Chloe that Nicki told her that the new paediatric consultant thinks you’re, and this is a direct quote, _very easy on the eyes._ So, I may have given her your phone number and –”

“Oh God, Cam, please tell me you didn’t. That this is some kind of wind-up.” Bernie sits back down heavily in her office chair and plants her elbows on her desk, then buries her head in her hands.

“I did.” He confirms triumphantly, and a strangled groan comes out of his mother. “I went one better than that though. I said you’d take her to that new tapas place in town. Tonight.”

“Tonight?!” Bernie’s voice goes all squeaky and high-pitched.

Cam's only answer is to nod vehemently.

“Christ...” Bernie stops just short of tearing her own hair out. She is forced out of her misery by her phone pinging with a text message.

“Ah, that might be her.” Cam is a little less self-assured now.

“It is.” Bernie turns the screen towards her son. _Looking forward to tonight._ “And what is this?” Bernie points to an emoji tagged on to the end of the message.

“That is the wink face kissing emoji. I’d say that one’s pretty self-explanatory, Mum.” Cam looks at her pityingly before starting to make kissing sounds.

“Get out.” Bernie is barely holding her temper by this point.

“Let me just reply for you first.” Cam snatches the phone from his mother’s grasp and quickly taps out a response.

“Cam, you give that back to me this instant!” Serena has never heard the blonde raise her voice before, she must be seething.

“And... done. Looks like you’ll be meeting her there at 8.30pm.” Cam hands back the phone and saunters back out the door without a care in the world. Bernie can only watch him go, utterly speechless.

“Well, that escalated quickly.” Bernie places her hands on her hips and heaves out an almighty sigh. “God, what am I going to do? I haven’t been on a date in decades!” The full weight of what just happened seems to hit the blonde all at once. She puts her palm to her forehead, rubbing the skin there with her fingers and wondering if she can really do this. Go on a date. Tonight. When she has feelings for Serena. Although, Serena didn’t share her feelings so she would perhaps have to think about dating someone else at some point. Bernie couldn’t exactly put her life on hold for something that was never going to happen.

“Hey, you’ll be fine. You are quite the catch, Bernie Wolfe. I don’t know if you’ve noticed.” Serena rubs the blonde’s upper arms comfortingly.

“Am I?” Bernie’s eyes snap up to meet Serena’s, she wishes she had the brunette’s faith in her.

“Absolutely. You’re intelligent, you’re at the forefront of your profession, you’re funny and kind and generous. You have more than enough to offer any woman. She’ll be lucky to have you. And you are very easy on the eyes apparently.” Serena runs her thumb down Bernie’s cheek softly.

“Now I know you’re teasing me.” Bernie dips her head, blushing from head to toe.

“I’m quoting the source but you are gorgeous.” Serena allows the small confession, startles herself with the words.

“Anyway, I’d better go check on Mr Jeffries in bed four.” Bernie averts her eyes and dashes out of the office, trying to convince herself that someone must have adjusted the air con because she was suddenly very warm indeed.

* * *

“What do you think of this?” Bernie is smoothing down the front of what was clearly a new blouse when Serena sees her again at the end of the day. She has kept on the skinny jeans and boots she was wearing when she came in this morning. “I nipped out on my lunch break. Thought I might spruce up a bit for this date.”

“You’re really making an effort, huh?” Serena is inexplicably hit squarely in the gut with an uneasy feeling.

“People do when they go on dates. Or so I've heard.” Bernie looks at her with fondness and then shrugs, feeling like maybe she’s trying too hard. _God, this was a minefield!_ “If it’s too much, I suppose I could put my shirt from earlier back on.” Bernie pulls it out of her satchel and starts to unbutton her new top.

Serena panics when she sees that it seems as if Bernie was going to change right here in front of her. “It’s fine.... Nice, I mean, you look nice. You look great – lovely... You look lovely.” Serena waves her hands trying to halt the blonde’s undressing.

“Ok.” Bernie redoes her buttons and slips on her blazer as Serena sighs heavily in relief. “Do you think you could do anything with this?” Bernie looks up despairingly at her own hair.

Serena steps across the room to stand in front of her, carding her fingers through those ridiculous curls of Bernie’s, ostensibly to tame them into some sort of presentable shape. She just knew her hair would be this soft and she could spend all night doing this. “Well....” Bernie clears her throat and tries not to think of Serena’s hands in her hair in a more intimate setting. “... I should...” She points to the door. “Will I do?” She stands taller, tugging down the edges of her blazer, waiting for inspection.

“She’ll love you.” _How could she not?_ Serena finds there’s a lump in her throat and she can’t understand why she feels like she’s about to cry. She grabs the side of Bernie’s face and pulls her in for a kiss on the cheek. “For luck.” She adds sadly, she can’t fathom why she wants Bernie not to go on this date, but she knows her motives are purely selfish.

“See you tomorrow.” Bernie offers her one of her signature lopsided smiles and then heads out of the ward.

Serena picks up her phone. She knows she’s being foolish and she’ll probably regret this later, but she dials the number anyway.

“Sian, it’s me. I was wondering if you fancied trying that new tapas place I mentioned the other day... Yep, I’m just about to leave.... Uh huh... I’ll meet you there in about half an hour... Ok, bye.” She ends the call and thinks she should have enough time to touch up her makeup before going down to her car.

* * *

“Bernie!” The other woman was already waiting for her at the table and waves her over.

“Hi Stephanie. Sorry, am I late? Have you been waiting long?” Bernie looks apologetic and drapes her blazer over the space in the booth beside her and slides in opposite her date.

“Not at all. I just got here. Call me Steph.” The other consultant is a little younger than Bernie, with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes. She’s quite attractive, but all Bernie can do is compare her to Serena and no one measures up to her.

“I’ve not had tapas in years!” Bernie opens the menu and immediately realises just how hungry she is.

“I never have, so you’ll have to point me in the right direction.” Steph assesses the blonde trauma surgeon over the top of her own menu. She was striking and she had been in the army. She did love a woman in uniform.

“It all looks great, I don’t think you could go wrong really.” Bernie smiles over at her dinner companion.

“Isn’t that your co-lead? What’s her name again, Campbell?” Steph spots the brunette vascular surgeon working her way towards them with some blonde woman around the same age.

“Huh?” Bernie turns to where Steph is looking and sure enough there is Serena and a blonde woman Bernie has never seen before. “Yep, that’s her.” Bernie’s blood runs cold. _What was Serena doing here?_

Serena stops dead when she sees the pair, cosied up in a booth.

“Oh, I haven’t met her properly yet. Maybe you can introduce us.” Steph smiles and waggles her fingers in a tiny wave at Serena.

“What a small world!” Serena exclaims, as if she hadn't known that Bernie would be here at precisely the same time.

“Yeah, you never said you were having dinner here too.” Bernie stands to greet her friend, surprised to be engulfed in a long hug from the brunette. It had only been about 30 minutes since they’d been in the office together, yet Serena was holding her like they hadn’t seen each other in years.

“It was Sian’s idea.” Serena lies, as Bernie steps back a little.

“No, it was... ouch!” Sian stops speaking when Serena jabs her with her elbow.

“Won’t you join us?” Steph kindly offers.

“Oh no, Serena wouldn’t –” Bernie starts to decline on the brunette’s behalf.

“How lovely!” Serena ignores the blonde completely.

“Well, Bernie, why don’t you come sit by me?” Steph rubs the seat next to hers. “Much better.” She runs her hand up Bernie’s arm when the blonde grabs her blazer and scoots in next to her. Serena has an overwhelming urge to slap her.

“I’m Stephanie Greene. I work at the same hospital as Bernie and... Serena, wasn't it?” Serena nods and shakes her hand, wiping it surreptitiously on the thigh of her trousers when Stephanie lets go. She was feeling uncharacteristically mean this evening, but she can’t see any rational reason for disliking the woman so much.

“I’m Sian Kors, Serena’s best friend.” She shakes Steph's hand too and then Bernie’s.

They order their food and a round of drinks and then all settle in to eat. Steph is not very subtle with her appreciation of the blonde sitting next to her. She keeps touching Bernie and whispering in her ear and the blonde looks very flustered and uncomfortable. Serena keeps throwing daggers at her, but she’s too focused on making gooey eyes with the blonde to notice. She can’t tear her eyes away from watching Bernie and her date, whilst trying to convince herself that she is not jealous.

“I might just pop to the bathroom.” Bernie practically has to peel Steph off her as she almost falls over herself trying to get away.

Serena glances up at the blonde as she walks towards the toilets. “I think I’ll just use the bathroom too.” She slips out of the booth and follows Bernie. As suspected, she finds her hunched over near the sinks, looking a bit pale and stunned. “You ok?” She rubs the blonde’s back and Bernie instantly feels herself relax.

“Yeah. She’s just a bit handsy. I’m finding it all a bit much.” Bernie ducks her head, hiding her face in all that hair.

“You can always say that you’re not comfortable. I’m sure she won’t be offended. She seems to really like you.”

“I don’t know... I...” Bernie meets Serena’s gaze in the mirror. “I suppose it's only the first date. But I mean, she’s relentless, I’m half expecting her to climb me like a tree right here in the restaurant.” Bernie huffs out a little terrified laugh.

Serena rather hopes that won’t be the case. “Are you attracted to her?” Serena becomes fascinated with some mark on the tile at her feet.

“Um... she seems nice.” Bernie flounders and tries not to say _but she isn’t you._

“Maybe give it some time. You’ve only ever been with one woman and I don’t imagine there was much dating involved.” Serena looks for confirmation and Bernie shakes her head. “So everything is new and that’s bound to feel a bit uncomfortable at first.”

Bernie can’t admit that she does want to be in a relationship. Just not with Steph. Or anyone else. That she doesn’t feel uncomfortable when Serena touches. That she feels quite the opposite in fact. She feels a longing, a desire, so strong that she struggles to breathe. That she spends most of her time with Serena wanting to gather her up in her arms and kiss her into next week.

“You’re right. Of course. You’re always right.” Bernie smiles at Serena’s reflection.

“Can I get that in writing?” Serena chuckles and Bernie joins in.

“I’m so bad at this.” Bernie laments.

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you. You’re not as bad as you think you are.” Serena tries to reassure her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Bernie lifts her hand to put it over Serena’s. The brunette can’t deny the thrill that passes through her at the blonde’s touch.

“You didn’t answer me, you know?” Serena sees the puzzled look on Bernie’s face in the mirror. “Are you attracted to her?” Serena has to fight to swallow back her jealousy.

“I don’t know... maybe... I... it’s probably too early to tell.” Bernie turns her head to bring it level with Serena’s. “We should get back.” Bernie drops her eyes to the floor and walks out to the table with Serena not far behind.

“Ah, there you are. I was beginning to worry that you’d fallen in.” Steph quips as Bernie sits back in her seat. “I was thinking, why don’t we go for a drink somewhere after this?”

Serena looks visibly stricken by the suggestion. She can’t work out what’s going on with her tonight.

“I’m just going to head home.” Bernie responds and Serena lets out the breath she’d been holding. “Long day. But we could do it another night.”

“I’d like that.” Steph smiles and kisses Bernie on the cheek, while Serena finds she wants to climb over the table and pull her off Bernie. “Shall we get the bill?”

“You all head on, I’ll pay for this.” Bernie offers with a bright smile.

“We’ll wait for you.” Serena says quickly.

“I’m going to get going. Thanks for dinner blondie....” Sian sees Serena glare at her. “... I mean, Bernie. Walk me out, Serena.”

“I’ll be right back.” Serena smiles at Bernie and has to hold back a sneer at Steph.

Bernie settles the bill, waits for Steph to call a taxi and then she and Steph walk outside to meet Serena.

“Well, my cab's here already.” Steph hangs back, making it clear that she would like a goodnight kiss.

Bernie scuffs the toe of her boot nervously on the ground. She is completely unprepared when Steph grabs the lapels of her blazer and tugs her in for the kiss, quickly turning her head at the last second so that she ends up kissing only Bernie’s ear.

Serena is just walking back from Sian’s car, rehearsing what she was going to say to the trauma consultant, if they got the chance to be alone. Somehow seeing Bernie dating had cemented something inside her. She catches sight of Bernie and Steph in their awkward clinch and has to look away.

“I had a great time.” Steph runs her pointer finger along the neckline of Bernie’s blouse and then sashays off to her taxi. “Maybe next time you’ll actually let me kiss you.”

“Goodnight. Safe home.” Bernie calls after her with a wave, then she starts ambling towards her own car.

“Looks like that went well.” Serena calls out to her and Bernie flushes furiously.

“Um... I wasn’t exactly expecting the kiss.” Bernie feels needlessly guilty about almost kissing her date in front of Serena. “Sian seems... um... friendly, how come you’ve never mentioned her?” She just wants to change the subject.

“We’ve been friends a lifetime, but we don’t see each other as much as I’d like.” Serena says out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry, Serena.” Bernie tangles her fingers in the brunette’s.

“It’s ok.” Serena keeps hold of the blonde’s hand all the way to her car. “Bernie?”

“Yeah.” Bernie glances over at her as they walk.

“I wanted to talk to you. I... I’m very fond of you.” _No, that didn’t sound right._

“I would have thought so, you’re my best friend.” Bernie teases, oblivious.

“No, I meant – have you ever thought of us as more than just friends?”

Bernie panics, searching frantically for an exit route. Serena must have worked out her feelings and now she was going to be forced to hear Serena let her down gently.

“Serena – I – I – uh –” Bernie trips over her words trying to think of a way out of this. “I should go.” Then she all but sprints to her car and speeds off, leaving Serena standing dumbfounded in the middle of the carpark.

* * *

Serena keeps looking at her strangely after that night, but Bernie can’t work out what all the long, loaded stares mean. She tries to give her a wide berth, not really wishing to have Serena reject her out loud. They manage to keep things civil for the sake of the ward, but their relationship is strained to the point of being almost unrecognisable as the firm friends they once were.

Serena wants to breach the gap that’s formed between them of late, to find some way of at least getting her friend back. She doesn’t want it to be a grand gesture, just a small token to offer as an olive branch. Bernie was seeing Stephanie more regularly, so Serena knew she’d missed her chance with the blonde, ironically just when she’d started to hope for more than friendship. That didn’t mean she wanted to lose her friend, and she needed to find a way to turn things around again. She thinks she’s found the perfect gift as she places the small wrapped parcel and card on the blonde’s desk before heading out to do ward rounds.

Bernie is just coming back from a gruellingly long procedure when she spots it on her desk. She frowns, not sure what it is or who put it there, but the name on the envelope was definitely hers. Opening it to reveal the card, she reads the message inside:

_I thought it was time for a permanent one. S xx_

Tearing off the wrapping paper she finds a cloth surgical cap inside. The colour is the same as her trauma scrubs and her initials are discreetly sewn into the side, the inside is lined with a lighter blue material covered in tiny cactuses. Bernie turns it over and over in her hands; it was easily one of the nicest gifts she’s ever been given. She’d have to thank Steph for thinking of it.

“Hey.” _Speak of the woman herself._

Serena freezes unseen just outside the door when she sees Stephanie go into the office.

“Hi.” Bernie smiles at Steph. “You didn’t need to do this.” She holds up the scrub cap. “But thank you.”

Serena is left devastated by the fact that Bernie thinks the gift is from the other woman.

“Well, you know, if you want to thank me properly you could come over to mine tonight. I’ll cook us dinner and maybe you might need an overnight bag.” Stephanie tries to step in to kiss the blonde, but Bernie still isn’t entirely comfortable with that, certainly not at work.

A sob from somewhere behind Steph grabs their attention as Bernie sees a Serena-shaped blur dashing off. Without even thinking or considering that she's leaving Steph on her own, she rushes out to look for her.

“Did anyone see which way Ms Campbell went?” She scans the vicinity looking for the brunette.

“Fire escape.” Fletch tilts his head towards the still open door and Bernie runs outside after her.

Serena is sitting at the bottom of the steps that stretch the whole way up the side of the hospital, clearly upset about something.

“Serena, what’s happened?” Bernie sits next to her and grasps both of Serena’s hands in her right hand.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Serena says rather unconvincingly.

“No you’re not.” Bernie would have to be a total idiot to believe that.

“It doesn’t matter, Bernie.” Serena wants to stand up, to get away from the blonde.

“No, stay here. Talk to me.” Bernie tries to coax Serena to open up.

“I... I can’t.” Serena tries not to keep crying, but her heart physically hurts.

“Why can’t you? If something’s wrong I want to help.” Bernie smiles softy and hugs Serena to her. “Did a patient do something?”

Serena shakes her head.

“Please tell me. I hate to see you upset.” Bernie wipes at Serena’s tears with the back of her hand. “What can I do? Let’s go for a drink after work. Not Albies. We’ll go somewhere just the two of us and you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Don’t you have plans tonight with Stephanie?” Serena says without registering that Bernie wasn’t meant to know she’d been listening.

“Well, I’m sure she’d understand.” Bernie doesn’t pick up on the fact that Serena had been eavesdropping, she just wanted to do something to make the brunette feel better.

“I heard you both in the office just now. Things are pretty serious then.” Serena asks, but won’t meet Bernie’s eye.

“I think she wants them to be, but my heart’s not really in it.” Bernie admits sadly. “She bought me this.” Bernie produces the scrub cap she’d hastily shoved in her scrubs pocket before chasing after Serena. Now that she sees the cactuses again and realises she recognises the handwriting on the card, the penny suddenly drops. “This is from you, isn’t it?”

“I just wanted to get you a little something... I don’t know... I just thought things had been a bit distant between us.” Serena shrugs helplessly.

“It’s beautiful. I love it.” Bernie beams, wants to add _I love you,_ but thinks better of it. “I’m going to go talk to Steph. It’s not right that she took credit for your gift.” Bernie runs her fingers through Serena’s short hair.

“I wasn’t trying to cause trouble between you.” Serena leans into the blonde’s touch.

“I know. Truth be told, I’m not ready for us to sleep together. I don’t want that. I don’t know that I ever will be ready. It’s fairer on her if I end things now, rather than hurt her later on.” Bernie stands up and reaches out for Serena’s hand to help her up. “Come for that drink later.”

Serena nods and they walk back inside, shoulders and hips touching, the backs of their hands gently brushing together every so often as they move.

* * *

“How did Stephanie take your breaking up?” Serena hazards to ask once they’re settled at some bar on the other side of town. She’s disheartened by the fact that they were not sitting huddled together as they would normally.

“Not too bad. It wasn’t any great love affair. I’m sure she’ll cope.” Bernie doubts she would be particularly difficult for Steph to get over.

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” Serena knew how much the blonde had struggled to come to terms with the breakdown of her marriage and the part her sexuality had played.

“Plenty more fish and all that.” Bernie takes a large mouthful of her whiskey, not really believing that there was someone else out there for her. Not when all she wanted, all she thought about, was Serena. She coughs to clear her throat before speaking again. “So, are you going to tell me why you were upset earlier?” She glances at the brunette through her ridiculous fringe.

“Oh, I – really it was nothing.” Serena shakes her head, trying to dispel the blonde’s concern.

“Serena, please.” Bernie covers her hand in her own, trying to convey that she was always here for her.

“I – I – I can’t tell you.” Bernie can’t deny that it stings that there would be anything Serena might keep from her.

“Why not?” Bernie presses on.

“It’s just – I – I’m scared. Scared that I’ll ruin everything.” Serena dips her head and pulls her hand out from under Bernie’s.

“How do you mean?” Bernie is genuinely puzzled.

Serena looks up at her and shuffles along the seat they’re sitting on until she is right beside Bernie and grabs hold of her hand. “You’re my best friend.” She declares quietly.

“And you’re mine.” Bernie smiles and squeezes Serena’s hand.

“Is there any chance that, um, that you might feel more than friendship for me?” Serena shocks Bernie by seeming to read her thoughts.

“Serena...” Bernie thinks maybe it’s time to be honest. “...yes, but I would never... I would never act on it because I know you’re straight, and I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I would never jeopardise our friendship, I hope you know that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m going to go. I –”

“No.” Serena pulls Bernie back down into her seat. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to. I want...” Serena strokes her fingers through Bernie’s curls and stares deeply into her eyes.

“What?” Bernie holds eye contact just as intently.

“Kiss me.” Serena whispers close to the blonde’s lips and closes her eyes waiting for Bernie’s mouth to cover her own.

She doesn’t have to wait long, because they was no force on earth, or anywhere else for that matter, that would have stopped Bernie from doing what she’d been dreaming about for months. Serena gasps when Bernie’s lips brush hers in the softest hint of a kiss. But then Bernie pulls back making Serena whimper for more. The blonde opens her eyes briefly to see that Serena’s are still closed and her mouth is chasing Bernie’s. She opens her eyes again when she doesn’t find the blonde’s lips, so they are left staring at one another.

“Come home with me.” Serena laces her fingers through Bernie’s and lift their joined hands to her lips to kiss the blonde’s knuckles gently.

“Are you –” Bernie begins to ask.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Serena replies emphatically, kissing her again to illustrate her point.

“Serena, I haven’t been with anyone for quite a while.” Bernie’s nerves make her voice unsteady.

“Bernie, I don’t care. All I want is for you to be with me tonight.” Serena says it like that’s it settled and Bernie knows better than to argue with Serena Campbell when she’s made up her mind about something. So instead she calls them a cab, taking Serena’s hand firmly in hers and leading them outside once it arrives.

* * *

“Serena...” Bernie is currently pinned to the brunette’s sofa and Serena is kissing her senseless. “...you said to come in for a coffee.”

“I lied.” Serena eyes sparkle with mischief. “I want to take you to bed.” She stands and pulls the blonde up with her to head up to the bedroom.

“I – I – are you sure?” Bernie tugs on the brunette’s hand to slow their progress. “I’m sorely out of practice and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me.” Serena kisses her trying to quell her anxiety. “I just want you.”

“I’m – I – I’m nervous.” Bernie sadly admits.

“There’s no need, love. But if all you want to do is kiss and have a cuddle then that’s what we’ll do.” Serena would take whatever Bernie felt comfortable giving her. “I’m nervous too, but I want you here.” Serena smiles and leads them further into the room towards the bed.

Bernie kisses her to try to ease some of her nerves. It’s tentative at first but then it’s like something clicks inside her and all of a sudden she realises she has the woman she’s longed for right here with her. She deepens the kiss, much to Serena’s delight. “You’re so beautiful.” She breathes the words into the side of Serena’s neck as she kisses her way up to nip her earlobe gently between her teeth.

“Bernie.. oh my God, Bernie...” Serena swoons in the blonde’s arms. She moans as Bernie starts to unbutton her blouse, her lips scorching her skin as she kisses all the newly exposed flesh. She grabs hold of Bernie’s face and crashes their mouths together again. The blonde leads them to where she hopes the bed is, she’s too occupied with Serena’s mouth on hers to check.

“Serena...” The blonde sighs out the other woman’s name as Serena makes light work of her shirt in turn. The brunette’s eyes go wide when she’s faced with a topless, save for her bra, Bernie Wolfe. “Um... we don’t have to –” Bernie’s hands splay across her chest, trying to cover her modesty when she mistakes the brunette’s expression for panic. She looks around frantically for her discarded shirt to put back on.

“Bernie, I don’t want to stop if that’s what you’re thinking.” Serena gently pries the blonde’s hands away from her body so that she can have a closer look. “You’re beautiful.” Serena says it so simply, so candidly, that Bernie struggles to contain her emotions. She allows Serena to unhook her bra and drop it somewhere on the floor behind her. Then the brunette takes Bernie’s face in her hands and kisses her soundly, the lace of Serena’s bra rubs against her nipples making her gasp at the sensation. Serena pulls back just enough to whisper against her lips. “Make love to me.” All Bernie can do is nod as she moves them to lie down and takes to her task with gusto.

* * *

Serena wakes early the next morning, grinning from ear to ear at the memory of last night. Bernie had brought her to so many toe-curling orgasms that she’d lost count rather quickly. She thinks the blonde may have undersold her abilities considerably, given the ease with which she’d learned what Serena enjoyed, how she wanted to be touched. It had been arguably one of the most amazing nights of her life, and based on Bernie’s own reactions she thought so too. As if she knows Serena has stirred and is thinking about her, Bernie’s arm grips her more tightly and she murmurs something unintelligible into the brunette’s shoulder. Serena can hardly believe that she has Bernie Wolfe naked in her bed, but the warm body spooning her from behind is a delicious reminder. She burrows herself further under the duvet and tugs Bernie’s arm further around her waist. She could swear she feels the blonde’s lips drop a soft kiss to the side of her neck before sleep pulls her in again.


End file.
